Something hot and harsh sears me. I dig my hands into Jonas’s hair and find his mouth as he fucks me, slow and thorough, letting me feel every impressive inch of him. I taste myself on his tongue, which only drives my pleasure higher. This is how it is with us. Rough and dirty and all-consuming.
He hitches one arm under my thigh and opens me wider so he can sink deeper. I moan. “I’m not the only one, Jonas.”
“That so?” He’s breathing just as harshly as I am. Sweat covers our bodies, slicking the way to a slow gliding fuck that already has another orgasm building in me.
“Yes.” I drag my nails down his back and dig them into his ass. “When you’re sitting here, all alone in your self-imposed exile…” He pulls a move with his hips that has his cock stirring inside me. “Holy fuck, do that again.” I whimper as he obeys.
“Problem focusing, baby girl? Can’t imagine why.”
“You’re such an ass.” I rise to meet his strokes. This feels too good. I meant what I said before; this man is going to ruin me. It’s not fucking fair. He’s already ruined me in part simply by existing peripherally in my life. Now I know how good it is between us, and I’m afraid I’m never going to recover. I want to ruin him right back. “You keep telling me how good my pussy is. I hope that’s enough to keep you warm at night when you’re all alone, jacking yourself to the memory of me.”
Jonas buries his face in my neck as he keeps thrusting, driving us closer and closer to the point of no return. “No one can compare, Blake.” He turns his head and nips my shoulder. “Just like no one fucks you like your Daddy does. Now, come for me one more time.” He kisses me and shifts, changing the angle so that each stroke his him rubbing against my G-spot. I’m already too close; I don’t stand a chance of holding out.
He barely lets me finish before he pulls out and flips me onto my stomach. “It’s time.”
No mistaking his meaning. He very clearly outlined what he wanted earlier. I can’t work up the energy to tense, not when I’ve come so many times, not when I have the ridiculous urge to cry. We’re so clearly saying goodbye. I want this experience, too. If I can’t have him forever, I can at least have this experience with him. This memory.
Jonas goes to the nightstand and comes back with a bottle of lube. He stares at me for a long moment. I have the faint suspicion that he’s memorizing this moment, too. Packing it away in the back of his mind to pull forth when he wants to revisit it.
He grabs a pillow and urges me to lift my hips so he can slide it beneath me. I’ve done enough anal to know the drill, but never with someone of his size. As he kneels behind me, nerves flutter to life. “You’re not going to fit,” I mutter.
“Give me a chance to prove you wrong.”
I don’t hesitate. “Do it.”
He takes his time spreading lube over my ass. Again, I get the feeling that he’s imprinting this moment in his mind and making it last as long as possible. I close my eyes and release a long exhale. I trust him. It’s as simple and complicated as that. He’s proven time and time again that my trust is founded, and this act won’t alter that.
Finally, Jonas shifts and then his cock is there, pressing slowly into me. I tense, but make myself relax. He still feels too big, too overwhelming, but I can’t deny that it’s not exactly unpleasant. He stops with just the head of his cock inside me. “Baby girl?”
“Don’t stop, Daddy,” I whisper. “I can take it.”
He gives a rough laugh that sounds a little choked. “I know you can.” He goes back to easing into me, never giving me a moment to rest but also not rushing me. It seems to take forever, his length endless. But finally, finally his hips meet my ass and he exhales. “There you go.” Jonas braces his forearms on either side of me and pulls my hair off my neck. “You’re doing great.” He kisses me there, his movements shaking just as much as my body is. “You feel so fucking perfect.”
I shift a little, testing the feel of him. It’s overwhelming. Truly overwhelming. But, in this moment, I want nothing more than to be overwhelmed by Jonas.
I half expect him to start fucking my ass, but instead he snakes a hand between me and the mattress to cup my pussy. Jonas keeps kissing my neck, finding the spot that has my toes involuntarily curling, as he starts the lightest friction of his fingers against my clit. I’m so over-sensitized, anything more than this would be too much. Of course he knows that. Of course he adapts and ensures that I’m getting as much pleasure out of this experience as he is.
It doesn’t take long before I’m shifting against his fingers. The small movements mean I’m working his cock in and out of my ass, just a little, and he curses against my skin. “That’s right. Ride my hand. Take what you need.”
I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. And I don’t want to. My exhale sounds like a sob as I mindlessly rub my pussy against his hand, seeking the orgasm building deep inside me. I don’t even realize he’s moving with me as first, short little strokes that make the most of my rolling hips. Careful. Jonas is being so fucking careful with me.
I grip the sheets. “More.”
He hesitates. “You sure?”
“Yes.”
He does as I ask, pulling nearly all the way out of me and thrusting back in. The almost uncomfortable full feeling only accents the pleasure of his fingers. I’m so close. So fucking close. “More, Daddy.”
This time, he takes me at my word. Jonas picks up his pace. He’s still not being overly rough, but the faster slide of his cock in my ass has me moaning. I want this moment to last forever.
Nothing lasts forever, though.
I orgasm hard, screaming into the mattress. Jonas curses and then he’s picking up his pace. Still careful, but he’s fully fucking me now, driving into me with a borderline frenzy. He pulls out and then hot come lashes my back.
I start to laugh. “Oh my god.”
He’s panting as he presses a kiss to my temple. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I stretch slowly. I’m a little sore, but I cherish that ache. Something to remember this by. “More than okay.”
“Then let’s get us in the shower.” He pulls me to my feet and tows me into the bathroom. I have every intention of taking advantage of him under the streaming water, but my body has other ideas. I end up leaning against Jonas as he washes me tenderly. My eyes simply refused to stay open.
After the shower, we land back in Jonas’s bed, and he tucks the covers in tight around us as he spoons me. I want to stay awake. I do. But sleep takes me all the same. At least for a little while.
I open my eyes to the sound of birds chirping and the glaring absence of the rain. This is it. The weekend is over. Behind me, Jonas stirs, and we have lazy morning sex, him thrusting into me from behind while he plays with my clit. When we finish, we both lay there in silence.
As much as I don’t want to be the one to break it and end things, I can’t keep my words to myself. “Thank you for this weekend. It was…”
“Yeah.” He gives me a squeeze. “Yeah, it was.”
The temptation remains to stay in bed. To ignore the clock ticking away the minutes and pretend that the sun hasn’t risen and shoved our deadline in our face. I force myself to sit up. “I should, uh, book my flight.” I grab my phone and pull up the airline’s app. It takes a few minutes to find an afternoon flight and book it and then I’m left staring at my screen. “I should get going. I like to be at the airport early.”
“Blake.”
I look at my, my heart in my throat. “Yeah?”
But Jonas just shakes his head. “Nothing. You should eat before you go.”
How am I supposed to eat when my stomach is tied in knots? I try for a smile, but it feels strange on my face. “I’m a nervous flyer, so I’d rather not.”
“Oh. Right.” He sits up, too. “I’ll, uh, go warm up your car.”
I sit there and watch him pull on a pair of pants and walk out of the room without looking back. This is goodbye, but he’s still taking care of me in his own way. My chest hurts. It feels like I’m caught in some machine bent on crushing the life out of me.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
I dress quickly. It feels like I’m a different person than the one who showed up here Friday evening, determined to convince Jonas to work with me. I head downstairs, still feeling ill at ease in my skin.
I don’t want to leave. I can admit that to myself, even if I can’t admit it aloud to Jonas. But trying to stay longer will just put off the inevitable. I live in California. Jonas’s home is in Washington. No matter how much he likes fucking me, he’s still got a stick up his ass about our age difference. There are so many barriers to this being anything more than a weekend fling.
Mainly that Jonas doesn’t want it to be more than a weekend fling.
He meets me in the living room as I dig through my purse to make sure I have everything. I hate how awkward we’re being with each other. I try again for a smile. “I’m terrible at goodbyes.”
“Me, too.” He closes the distance between us and pulls me into his arms. “This will have to do.”
He kisses me. Maybe it was supposed to be a brief one, but nothing is ever simple with us. I drop my purse and dig my hands into his hair. He grabs my ass and yanks me tighter to him. I don’t know who moves first. It might be me. I fumble to shove down his pants and he’s pulling up my skirt and lifting me so I can wrap my legs around his waist. And then he’s wedging that giant cock into me for the last time, working me down his length. For the first time, we fuck without speaking a single word.
What is there to say? This is goodbye and we both know it.
Jonas turns and takes a few steps so he can brace me against the wall. He takes my mouth in long, drugging kisses as he drives into me. Like he wants to imprint himself on every fiber of my being. I could tell him that ship has already sailed, but I’m too busy trying to clutch him to me, to get as close as possible, to take him deeper yet.
It’s over far too soon. I come with a cry that he swallows down and then he’s following me over the edge, pumping me full of his goodbye. He gentles the kiss and presses his forehead to mine. “Miss me a little?”
I drag in a ragged breath. “I’m going to miss you a lot.”
“Me, too.” He pulls out of me and carefully sets me back on my feet. Jonas gives me one last kiss and steps back. “Drive safe.”
I adjust my clothing, taking too long while I fight down the absurd urge to cry. “I will.”
I make it to the door when his voice stops me. “Baby girl.” I glance over my shoulder to find him watching me. “You’ll figure out the business stuff. Give yourself a little grace and trust your instincts.”
Damn it, now I really am going to cry. “Goodbye, Jonas.”
“Bye, Blake.”
It’s over for real.
