Romeo Costa:
So? Did you guys make up?
Ollie vB:
Was there makeup sex involved?
Ollie vB:
(Also: who are we talking about?)
Romeo Costa:
Housekeeper Hot Stuff showed up at my door last night, drenched like an abandoned kitty, asking for shelter.
Zach Sun:
We had a mild disagreement.
Zach Sun:
We figured it out.
Ollie vB:
Did you ask for your balls back?
Romeo Costa:
Don’t be ridiculous, Oliver.
Zach Sun:
Thank you, Rom.
Romeo Costa:
He doesn’t have the balls to make such a request.
Zach Sun:
You are both mentally five.
Ollie vB:
Lies. I am clearly at the height of my hormone-filled adolescence.
Ollie vB:
Probably somewhere between thirteen and nineteen.
Ollie vB:
I still cannot get over the fact that you are screwing the help.
Zach Sun:
I still cannot get over the fact that you gave a woman you literally do not know two of your five Amex cards.
Romeo Costa:
COME AGAIN?
Ollie vB:
I did.
Ollie vB:
Three times. Today alone. To Frankie’s IG pictures.
Ollie vB:
She’s in Costa Rica, basking in the sun, wearing tiny bikinis.
Ollie vB:
Best money I’ve ever spent.
Ollie vB:
Also, how’d you find out?
Zach Sun:
Farrow has a mouth.
Ollie vB:
She should use it to suck your dick more and talk about my business less.
Zach Sun:
Don’t you need a job to have a ‘business’?
Ollie vB:
How does Farrow know Frankie?
Romeo Costa:
Dallas and Frankie took Farrow out for a birthday celebration.
Ollie vB:
Wow. Okay.
Ollie vB:
Not going to pretend not to be hurt by the lack of requests for me to be the stripper jumping out of the cake.
Zach Sun:
The last thing your criminal record needs is you jumping out of places completely naked.
Ollie vB:
My probation is over, and that was completely consensual, thankyouverymuch.
Ollie vB:
I already told you. She was mad because I forgot her name.
Romeo Costa:
Pin this conversation for a second.
Ollie vB:
Why? You’ve got something important to tell us?
Romeo Costa:
No. I’m making some popcorn for this.
Ollie vB:
[Eye roll Emoji]
Ollie vB:
So… where is she now?
Romeo Costa:
Frankie? Probably Kindergarten, learning letters and colors.
Ollie vB:
Farrow, you swine.
Romeo Costa:
In my living room with Shortbread.
Romeo Costa:
They appear to be making voodoo dolls.
Romeo Costa:
My bad.
Romeo Costa:
I was just informed they’ve taken up crocheting.
Romeo Costa:
Shit, they’re really bad at it.
Romeo Costa:
Dallas just finished a beanie, and it looks like a cock warmer.
Zach Sun:
I sincerely hope by ‘cock’ you mean a rooster.
Romeo Costa:
Listen, Dallas likes skiing. This is a no-judgment zone.
Ollie vB:
Isn’t three o’clock a work hour for Farrow?
Romeo Costa:
Doubt her job description currently includes anything beyond taking Zach’s dick in every available hole in her body.
Zach Sun:
Objectify her one more time, and you will find yourself with a knife in your hand like Brett Junior.
Ollie vB:
Aw. Zachy Boy, you’re not supposed to get attached.
You’re ENGAGED.
Romeo Costa:
This engagement is going to be shorter than Vanilla Ice’s career.
Zach Sun:
Vanilla who?
Romeo Costa:
Exactly.
Ollie vB:
Can you stop saying the word vanilla?
Ollie vB:
It is very triggering to me.
Romeo Costa:
Why?
Ollie vB:
Reminds me of missionary sex.
Zach Sun:
I’m carrying through with the marriage.
Romeo Costa:
Didn’t you just put a 100k retainer down for Dan? For Farrow’s legal fees?
Zach Sun:
This is beside the point.
Ollie vB:
Okay, @RomeoCosta, who’s gonna tell him?
Romeo Costa:
Not me.
Romeo Costa:
Imagine how hilarious it’s going to be when he finds out.
Zach Sun:
@RomeoCosta, can you tell Farrow to come back home?
Romeo Costa:
Hold.
Romeo Costa:
She said she doesn’t have a home, that she lives in her employer’s guest room, and that she is having too much fun with my wife to come back today.
Romeo Costa:
Try again tomorrow.
Ollie vB:
This relationship is the best thing to happen to this world since sliced bread.
Zach Sun:
I don’t eat carbs.
Ollie vB:
You really should. You are moody AF.
Zach Sun:
I hate all of you.
Romeo Costa:
Not all.
Romeo Costa:
Not Farrow.
