T-MINUS 3 DAYS.
Ollie vB:
I have tea.
Romeo Costa:
No, thank you.
Romeo Costa:
I decline any type of liquid you might be offering to me on the grounds that it is probably gross.
Ollie vB:
Tea as in gossip.
Ollie vB:
Your Southern wife would be so ashamed of you right now.
Romeo Costa:
What’s the scoop?
Ollie vB:
Our good friend Zachary was spotted by a B-grade socialite sailing through BWI wheeling a trolley behind him like some commoner without his own private plane.
Romeo Costa:
Are you sure it was Zach?
Romeo Costa:
Because he is about as down to Earth as Neptune.
Ollie vB:
She took pictures.
Zach Sun:
That’s not creepy at all.
Romeo Costa:
@ZachSun, do you confirm this report by Mr. von Buttered Bun?
Zach Sun:
My mother stole my airplane.
Ollie vB:
[Okay Hand Emoji] That is actually the best homework excuse I’ve ever heard.
Romeo Costa:
Are you currently INSIDE a commercial plane?
Zach Sun:
Unfortunately.
Ollie vB:
When was the last time that happened?
Zach Sun:
First grade.
Ollie vB:
My God, what is it like?
Ollie vB:
Tell us everything.
Ollie vB:
I’ve seen a few in movies, but I’ve never actually been on one.
Zach Sun:
Busy. Loud.
Zach Sun:
Food smells like it has been previously digested by an elderly family dog and vomited onto your plate.
Ollie vB:
I think I just died a little inside just from reading this.
Ollie vB:
How is business class?
Ollie vB:
Is it like glamping?
Zach Sun:
There were no business-class tickets left.
Zach Sun:
I’m flying coach.
Ollie vB:
You’re fucking with us.
Romeo Costa:
Please, Ollie. No one is getting anywhere near your dick without a hazmat suit.
Zach Sun sent an attachment.
Ollie vB:
Sweet Jesus. He really is flying coach.
Zach Sun:
It’s a connecting flight, too.
Romeo Costa:
@ZachSun, care to tell us what and where was so urgent?
Romeo Costa:
We’re on pins and needles.
Zach Sun:
Thailand, to pry Eileen’s location from my mother and aunt.
Romeo Costa:
They’re both going to kill you.
Zach Sun:
I am well aware.
Ollie vB:
If they do, can I have the cryochamber?
Ollie vB:
This particular model is out of stock.
Romeo Costa:
Since you’ve been MIA all month, I’m asking here…
Romeo Costa:
What made you realize you can’t follow through with the wedding?
Zach Sun:
Farrow.
Ollie vB:
What about the cryochamber? Is that a no?
Romeo Costa:
Fight for her, bro. She’s worth it.
Zach Sun:
I am.
Zach Sun:
And I know.
Ollie vB:
Guess I’ll have to drag it home myself after your mother throws you into the Mekong River, sans floatie.
Romeo Costa:
Good to know something managed to get its way into your heart.
Zach Sun:
She’s not just in my heart.
Zach Sun:
She’s in my fucking veins.
