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My Dark Romeo: Chapter 25


OLLIE VB

The bride looked exquisite.

ROMEO COSTA

Bleach your eyeballs immediately.

She wasn’t yours to look at.

OLLIE VB

So did her sister.

ROMEO COSTA

Jailbait.

OLLIE VB

Come on, Rom.

We both know I’m too rich to see a prison cell from the inside.

ZACH SUN

Can someone remove the ghost of David Bowie from the chat?

Romeo Costa removed Ollie vB from the chat.

ZACH SUN

Why do I always feel like I need a long, scorching shower after talking to Ollie?

ROMEO COSTA

Because he is sexual harassment packed into a Tom Ford suit?

ZACH SUN

Is Denver excited about Paris?

ROMEO COSTA

I’ve met cats more excited about their baths.

ZACH SUN

Have you considered trying to get along with her?

ROMEO COSTA

Not once.

ZACH SUN

Is there a long version to this answer?

ROMEO COSTA

I think that ship sailed the day I dragged her by the ear to a state she doesn’t know, to live in a house she doesn’t like, and marry a man she actively hates.

Ollie vB has entered the chat.

ROMEO COSTA

How did that just happen?

OLLIE VB

I have a software engineer on retainer.

@ZachSun hooked me up a few months ago when I had to deal with a dick-pic crisis.

ZACH SUN

A crisis aptly titled .Mobi Dick.

ROMEO COSTA

ON RETAINER?

OLLIE VB

@ZachSun, your copywriting talent is heartbreakingly wasted.

ROMEO COSTA

I repeat: ON RETAINER?

OLLIE VB

You’d be surprised how often I get myself into hot water with some of the content I share.

ROMEO COSTA

Something tells me I would not be surprised at all.

OLLIE VB

So, is little Townsend taken?

ROMEO COSTA

LITTLE TOWNSEND IS STILL IN FUCKING COLLEGE.

OLLIE VB

I hate to say this, Costa, but you’ve always been a prude. Right, Zach?

Zach Sun left the chat.

Romeo Costa left the chat.

OLLIE VB

So dramatic.

I bet my fifth yacht the girl is eighteen.


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