person in the entire class that knew the answer,” Dean beamed. “Even the professor was floored.”
Hearing my name broke me from my thoughts. I looked up from my yummy macaroni and cheese and realized Dean was telling the others about our English literature class earlier that day. He beamed at me, his golden hair gleaming under the fluorescent light of the dining hall.
“Way to go, Evangeline!” Celine said.
I shrugged. “Too bad I’m doing terrible in Empyrean History, though. I got a D-minus on my last quiz.” I frowned.
I’d been struggling in Em History the whole semester and delayed thinking about it until my training improved. Despite doing all the reading, attending lectures, and going to office hours, nothing seemed to stick, like my brain couldn’t comprehend that any of those stories about supernatural powers and magical relics ever happened. Now that we were in mid-November, it was the only class I was at risk of failing.
“Hey, if you’re having a hard time, I’m sure my notes from last year would help,” Alan offered. “I wrote pretty good summaries of every lecture.”
“That would be great,” I accepted excitedly. “I would love to borrow them.”
Alan nodded. “They’re in Nathaniel’s room.”
Of course, they are.
I glanced at Nathaniel hesitantly, who was side-eyeing Alan.
“If he’s not busy, why don’t you go get them after dinner?” Alan suggested, looking at Nathaniel inquiringly.
“Fine,” Nathaniel grunted and turned his attention back to his plate, never once looking at me.
Celine’s eyes widened at me with concern. My stomach knotted at the idea of walking with Nathaniel to his room. How painfully awkward was he going to make this for me? But I couldn’t pass the opportunity to pull my grades up.
I smiled gratefully at both guys. “Thanks. That would really help.”
As we all left the table at the end of dinner, Celine whispered to me, “Do you want me to come with you to Nathaniel’s room?”
I shook my head. “Thanks, but it’s fine. I’m a big girl. I can survive fifteen minutes of getting some notes from his room,” I said, though I was still trying to convince myself.
So, there I was, heading down the pathway toward the boys’ dorm next to Nathaniel. The soft whisper of wind rustling through the trees and the occasional chirping of crickets punctuated our awkward silence. As other students made their way back to their dorms for the night, there was a distant muffled friendly laughter. The night sky spread across the horizon in a blanket of stars and tiny distant planets, their silver light casting a faint glow on the ground below.
My gaze traveled back to Nathaniel. The glint of his silvery gray eyes against the twinkling stars sent a thrill through my breasts that skimmed down to my core. His body, emanating a simmering fury, seemed to be getting tauter with every minute that passed, his jaw locked in a tense, almost painful position. It was only then that I realized how close I was next to him.
Suddenly, Nathaniel’s head snapped toward me, his brows furrowed and eyes blazing with anger. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?” he growled, his arms tensed at his sides.
His sudden outburst startled me, and I stuttered, “I—I didn’t mean to. Sorry.”
“Save it,” he growled.
Silence fell over us again, heavy and suffocating, as I tried to understand the chasm that had formed between us. Obviously, this wasn’t the first time he’d caught me staring at him, but he had never been so irritated about it.
When we reached his dorm room, he gestured for me to enter first. The room was small, with a single twin bed tucked neatly in one corner and a wooden desk beside it. The desk was cluttered with a mess of books and papers, evidence that he actually studied. A small pile of clothes sat at the end of the bed. A narrow window let in a sliver of moonlight, casting shadows across the floor and an eerie blue hue on the walls.
“You don’t have a roommate?” I asked out loud without meaning to.
“No,” he replied curtly with no explanation.
Must be his parents, I thought.
As I stepped inside, I closed my eyes and breathed in Nathaniel’s familiar scent. The memory of his embrace by the lake came back to me, washing over me with a comforting heat.
Nathaniel maneuvered past me until he was standing in front of a desk. He rummaged through the drawers until he found a notebook and handed it to me without saying a word.
I stared at the notebook, my awkwardness melting into determination. No more distance. No more walls between us. It was time to break through. When else would I have another chance alone with him to hash things out?
“Nathaniel, please talk to me.”
He shifted his weight. “There’s nothing to talk about.” The words were clipped, harsh.
“I don’t get it. Why are you so angry with me?”
“You try to act so innocent and naïve, but I see right through you.” His fists clenched tightly at his sides, while his voice was low and menacing. “You know damn well what you’re doing.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tried to keep my voice steady.
He stepped closer to me, his body towering over mine. “I’m not blind. I can see the way you look at me.”
My cheeks grew warm, and the knot returned to my stomach. All I did was steal a few glances at him. He knew how I felt about him. Why would he be mad about that?
“I seriously don’t understand,” I said softly, hoping my tone would calm him down.
“You’ve been leading me on this whole time!” he snarled.
Leading him on? “What in the world are you talking about?”
Nathaniel’s hand grasped my chin, forcing me to look up at him as he leaned in closer. “Admit it. You want me, don’t you?”
My throat constricted as I struggled to swallow the lump that had formed. My heart raced with the force of a thousand stallions, pounding against my chest, threatening to spill out of my ribcage. The intensity in his gorgeous eyes drove me wild. I wanted him to kiss me.
“I—” I stammered.
“Or do you want Dean?” He spat, his voice dripping with venom as he released my face.
“Dean?” I blinked in confusion. “What does this have to do with Dean?”
“Are you seriously going to pretend that you don’t have feelings for him?” Nathaniel glared at me, gold energy flickering around his clenched fists.
“Wha—no!” My cheeks now burn with indignation. “Why would you even think that?”
“You’re always hanging out with him, laughing at his stupid jokes, whispering in each other’s ears. It’s so obvious!”
“Dean’s just a friend! You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I? Because every time I turn around, you’re with him,” he said bitterly.
“Because he’s my friend! He’s yours too!” I snapped back, my hands balling into fists at my sides.
“Don’t lie to me, Evangeline. I saw you two together.”
“When?” I demanded angrily. “At the dance? You know he was my date. Nothing happened between us.”
“No, after I went to the Chancellor’s office. I saw you alone together, talking and giggling like you were sharing secrets.” He paused, his brow furrowed and mouth twisted in anguish as if the words he was about to say were too painful to bear. “I saw him holding you. You went from kissing me and holding my hand to running straight into Dean’s arms behind my back!”
Rage coursed through me as his revolting accusation slammed into my chest, leaving me unable to breathe, let alone summon the words to defend myself. I stood rooted to the floor, fearing that if I moved, I might strike him in my outrage. I felt the heat of his anger just as surely as the cold, icy tendrils of my own, and for a moment, I truly believed that we might tear each other apart. Thank goodness I had control of my powers, or I might have set the room on fire.
The phone rang just then. “Hello?” Nathaniel answered calmly. “Hi, Celine… Yes, she’s still here. We’re talking some things out… Yeah, I know it’s getting late. I’ll walk her back when we’re done… Okay, bye.”
Nathaniel’s eyes darkened again as he turned his head away from me and didn’t say anything for a few moments, his gaze settling on the wall. Glimpses of fear and vulnerability peeked out from behind his usually impenetrable walls.
“Look, Evangeline,” he said, running a hand through his tousled hair, his voice low but the anger now mixed with sadness. “I know I can’t compete with Dean. If you’d rather be with him, just say so. I won’t stand in your way.”
“Compete with Dean?” I asked in increasing frustration. “Why would you even think that I want to be with him?”
“I’m not an idiot,” he spat, his voice dripping with venom. “He’s the golden boy, popular, outgoing… everything I’m not. If it’s between me or him, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who you would ultimately choose.”
The honesty of his words hit me like a punch in the gut as the realization dawned on me. He believed that I would ultimately choose Dean over him and wanted to protect himself from heartbreak by pushing me away. The surrounding air seemed to crackle and burn as we stood there, facing each other like two forces of nature on a collision course.
“Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” I asked hesitantly. “Pushing me away?”
“He’s the kind of guy you should be with, not me, so I’d rather not get any closer to you.”
“Damn it, Nate! You don’t get to make that decision for me!”
“Well, I’m not going to sit around while you figure out if you want to be with me or Dean!”
“I don’t feel that way about Dean!” I insisted, my exasperation mounting.
“You have a funny way of showing it,” Nathaniel shot back.
“You want to know why I was hugging Dean when you saw us? What secrets we were telling each other? He apologized for not being with me at the dance during the attack. He felt really guilty about it, so I hugged him. That’s what you saw. Do you know why he felt guilty? Because his secret was that he likes Jessica and forgot all about me.”
Nathaniel’s eyes widened with surprise as I continued, “I told him not to feel bad because my secret was that I wanted to be alone with you anyway, and since he wasn’t with me, I was able to share something that I thought was special with you. Half of the time when Dean is whispering to me, he’s teasing me for liking you.”
Nathaniel finally looked me in the eye, searching for dishonesty in my words.
“You stupid jerk-face,” I huffed. “Even at the dance, I wanted to be with you. You said you couldn’t give me what I want, but you are the only one I want. You’ve always been the only one I want.” My voice echoed through the room as I stepped closer to him, determined to make him understand. “I chose you a long time ago, even though you’re the one who’s been pushing me away for months.”
As the words tumbled out of my mouth, fear crept into my heart. Anger and annoyance laced my tone, but there was no doubt as I confessed my feelings for him, baring my soul along with them.
Slowly, almost as if he couldn’t help himself, Nathaniel closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms. I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me and never let go.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured into my hair. “For assuming the worst about Dean, for pushing you away when I should have talked to you about it. I was stupid enough to think…”
He hesitated for a moment to pull away and look at me. His eyes softened as he cupped my face in his hands, gently caressing my cheeks with his thumbs, the warmth of his touch seeping through my skin.
“That if I stayed away from you, I wouldn’t fall in love with you… when the truth is that I’ve loved you from the moment I met you.”
My heart shuddered, and tears filled my eyes again. “Don’t ever push me away like that again.”
Nathaniel shook his head solemnly. “I promise I won’t.” His hand tightened on my waist, pulling me closer until there was no space left between us.
