It’s game day so I have a lot to get done before I get on the road. I pack up my bag with my camera, chargers, memory cards, and laptop. I am sure to check the team’s social media sites, since content was prescheduled. I just want to be sure it posts. There will be a decent number of fans at this game since it’s not too far away, so I told them to tag Tampa U Penguins for a shot to be featured. I want to help increase our visibility.
Now for the hardest part, what to wear. I want to be cute but comfortable. It’s my first game as Zane’s girlfriend but I’m also working, so I need to dress nicely. I decide on the cutest outfit – black bell bottoms with rips, a long sleeve Penguins shirt with Miller across the back, and my white Converse. My hair is up in two space buns with simple makeup. I am ready to be wandering the arena with the team. I hope I can get some good footage from the Penguins press box.
During the drive I decide it is the perfect time to call my parents about Zane.
My mom answers almost immediately. “Hey, sweetie, how are you? Are you heading to the game? I miss you.”
I smile. Hearing her voice always makes me feel good. “Hey, momma! How’s it going at home? I promise to come over for dinner soon, but that Clearwater traffic kills me.” I don’t bother explaining how driving over the bridge to one of the most popular beaches is a traffic nightmare.
I then launch into dating Zane. I tell her how he treats me and give her chances to ask questions. She warns me to protect my heart; she doesn’t want me to get hurt again. Overall, the conversation is good and she asks to meet Zane soon. I promise to bring him over. They don’t leave the house much since Dad has been in remission for thyroid cancer. That’s one of the main reasons Lucy went into nursing, I think. She used to want to write fantasy novels. Dad is doing better, but we all worry.
Arriving at the arena, I find Marissa and check in about what I am going to be trying to record. I go around filming some shots in the locker room during Stuntz’s speech to the team. I didn’t see Zane, but he might have been with one of the trainers. I give Luke the I love you sign, then head back to the seats.
In the stands I go around filming the different areas of our fans. I see the Airheads in most of their hands, which makes me laugh. As I head down to the team box, our team takes the ice to warm up. I can see Z scanning the area for me. The minute he sees me I turn my back to him, letting him see my shirt. As I turn back around, he’s pumping his stick in the air – a sign of celebration in the hockey world.
I get some great footage of the game: Stuntz scoring, Luke coming in with an assist, Davis, the goalie, making an amazing block, and Zane checking the other team’s player into the boards. With each goal you see our fans holding up Airheads or Snickers, which I just mentioned were Davis’s favorite candy in a post a few days ago. We may not have had many fans at the beginning of the season, but the ones we have now are amazing!
The team is 3-0 so far; a hat trick if you want to call it that. I want to wait for Zane after the game, but I really need to get on the road since it’s a two hour drive back home. I shoot him off a text letting him know I am heading out and he played a great game. On the way to the game I have someone take a picture of me with my back to the camera and the arena in the background. I shoot that off to him too; I know it will make him smile.
I’m on the road for about an hour before I get a text of the smiling emoji with the heart eyes. He loves the photo and tells me to drive safe. I’m tempted to drive to his apartment and wait for him. I wouldn’t mind another sleepover with him. I focus on my drive home with car karaoke to all my favorite songs. Luckily it’s late so there’s no traffic.
I get home around midnight. I shower, put on one of Zane’s shirts, and get into bed. I’m asleep not more than two hours until I get a call from Zane.
“Hey, Z, is everything ok? Did you guys make it back?” I murmur, half asleep.
“Yeah, babe, we made it back. I left something for you at your door. Can you grab it?” he asks me sweetly. I get up in just my shirt and panties and head to the door. When I open it I almost drop my phone. “Are you up for a sleepover? Emphasis on sleeping, though, because I’m exhausted. I just wanted to be with you.” He pulls me into a hug before I answer.
“Yes, of course, come in! I will give you the tour tomorrow when we are awake,” I say, then I lock the door and guide him to my room. I climb right into bed while he strips down into boxers and gets in beside me. We cuddle with my back to his front and he kisses my cheek softly.
“Fi, you being there with my name and number across your back made me feel amazing. Thank you!” I whisper back, “I felt like I needed your number on me for the game.” With that, we both drift off to sleep.
We wake up around nine when Lucy comes walking in exclaiming, “OH MY GOSH! I should have knocked. I am so sorry!” We both chuckle and make sure the blanket is pulled up over us. “We just slept. I just didn’t want to be without Fi,” he tells her, making her eyes fill with love as she smiles at us.
“That’s so sweet, keep this one,” she jokingly tells me. “Planned on it. Now what are you here for?”
“Oh, I was just grabbing one of your sweaters I think would look cute with this dress.” She waves her hand, showing off her teal dress.
“Go ahead. Give me details later.” I send her off with the I love you sign. “Do you all do that? I have seen all four of you using that sign randomly even when Luke is on the ice,” Zane asked. I press my back further into him, getting comfortable again. “Yes, it’s a family thing we started when my dad was sick and we couldn’t go in his room. We would sign I love you through the glass door.”
He kisses the top of my head. “That’s sweet, baby. Do you have any plans for the day?” I snuggle into him. “Well, I was hoping to spend it with this sexy hockey player I know.” “I’m just studying but I would love for you to come spend the day with me,” he tells me.
We both get up and get dressed. I put on a cute pair of sweats with a matching crop tank top. We stop at Roasters for coffee and muffins before hitting his apartment. I get my laptop out and start editing while he studies for his classes. We work in comfortable silence. Every once in a while, we will talk about something, then go back to working. It doesn’t feel weird being in silence and I don’t feel forced to fill the void, which is nice. The day is going great until the sports channel begins their talk about the NHL draft.
We listen as Stuntz, Luke, and Zane are all discussed with game video playing and the announcers talk about their pros and cons. I’m not sure why, but it’s like a cloud has suddenly covered us. I knew he was entering the draft, but I guess it was easy to forget there was a chance he wouldn’t get Tampa. He could be picked by any team across the country, while I am here. I could follow him, but I don’t know that I want to feel like I am following a man.
“Earth to sunshine, are you ok?” he asks, concerned.
“Yeah, sorry, I guess sometimes I forget how the draft works – that you don’t have a guarantee of playing for Tampa,” I tell him, shrugging.
We discuss how much he wants Tampa and that we can do long distance until he can get traded. He doesn’t mention me moving with him, which kind of hurts, but I think he’s trying to be respectful, knowing Justin demanded I move with him. The talk of the draft really puts a damper on the mood of the day.
I come up with an excuse about why I need to head home. I even have Lucy pick me up so that Zane doesn’t have to stop studying to drive me home. The tension between us when we kiss goodbye is high; you can almost feel it in the air.
When I get in Lucy’s car I instantly regret leaving. I feel like I’m running away, which I am. Lucy tries to talk to me and I tell her about my feelings. She agrees he’s trying to not be like Justin and advises me to not let this distance between us last too long.
I know I’m being ridiculous and selfish, but I spend the entire week going out of my way to avoid Zane. I just need to think, and I don’t know how to talk to him about it. I know he notices though, because Luke and Stuntz have asked me what’s wrong since practices haven’t been good with Zane not being focused. I just don’t know what I want – do I want to follow him where he goes? Try out long distance? Also, we haven’t been together that long, so I don’t know how to process how strong my feelings are.
Zane has been giving me space, texting me every morning and night reminding me he’s here for me whenever I am ready to talk. He doesn’t give me any ultimatums or send texts cussing me out like Justin would. He knows I’m going through something, and he sends his support without making me feel forced to decide.
The guys leave on Friday for Saturday’s game because it’s in Virginia. I regret not going to see Z before he left. I am such a shitty girlfriend. I tell him to text me after his flight and get back to my edits, trying not to focus on how it’s all hitting me how bad I fucked up. Zane never even asked what the plan was, he never demanded an answer, and I am over here having a breakdown. I am treating him terribly and messing his game up. I need to fix this ASAP.
I reach out to Lucy and tell her it’s a sister 911. We decide to meet at a local wine bar. I tell her everything with tears in my eyes. I don’t want to lose the best man to ever enter my life.
She grabs my hand, squeezing it lightly, sending me comfort. “You just need to find a way to show him you are as committed as he is.”
I begin to think. I figure out the perfect thing! Now it’s just getting it all done before his plane lands. Lucy and I sit together, having another glass of wine and get started.
When Zane lands, he is going to find that I officially hard-launched us on Instagram. He has wanted to do this and officially announce that we are a couple, but I kept putting it off. I know that Z and Holly had issues during away games with commitment. I don’t want to be another woman in his life who messes with his head. I want to show him no matter where he goes, I am here for him. I will support his career and be by his side, starting with announcing to the internet we are officially official.
I use the picture of me in his jersey with his number painted on my cheek on my Insta. Then if you swipe through the post, you see us on our first date, me at the away game in his shirt, and my favorite – a picture of us kissing and he’s holding me in the air with my legs wrapped around him. The caption is I thought I needed his number what I needed was him. I quickly tag him, then hit post. Now it’s just a waiting game.
With each notification, I almost jump with anxiety thinking it’s him. As I wait for his text, I scroll the comments. Some are nice, talking about how cute we are, and they love us together. The puck bunny comments are mean – commenting on my looks and how we won’t last, but I just ignore it. If I am going to be with someone on his way to the NHL, press is going to be a part of our lives and everyone knows most comments on the internet are mean.
I head home and take a shower, trying to clear my head. I don’t want to focus on how I have been distant all week over something stupid, just to profess my want for us to be together on the internet. I should have texted him first to let him know where my head was at. All I could think at the time was I wanted to make a grand gesture to show my devotion. All of a sudden my phone pings with a text from Lucy telling me to check Insta now.
Right there, front and center, is a picture of him holding me in his arms, me in his number at the GU game, a picture of us cuddling in bed, and a picture of us surfing. He tagged me and included the caption I need you in my number, sunshine with a sun emoji.
When he gets to his hotel we talk a bit on the phone before I fall asleep. Time feels like it’s moving slow without him here. I shoot off a text telling him to hurry home because I want to apologize in person and in bed.
We text a few times before the game Saturday and I remind him I can’t wait for him to come home. The team ends up having a complete shutout game. Stuntz has a hat trick, Luke scores twice, Zane has two assists, and Davis doesn’t let a single goal in. Zane texts to tell me he hid a key under his mat, and he expects to see me at his apartment when he gets home. I pack a bag, knowing they won’t be home until after two AM.
The awkward moment being alone in your boyfriend’s apartment for the first time makes me think – like do I just sit on the couch? I don’t want him to think I am snooping. Would he even think that? I could try something like posing sexy when he gets home. I am exhausted so I decide to be spontaneous, and I get in his bed wearing only his jersey. I know when he comes home, he will be tired but I think seeing me with no panties on and his jersey hitting right below my ass is going to give him a jolt of energy, but until then I fall asleep.
