Heading to bed it’s the first time in the past 24 hours I feel like I really have to process how I feel. I have been on autopilot since the game. I knew the fight was getting bad; the other players were all starting to brawl each other. But the second Zane’s helmet flew off, I knew something bad was going to happen. It was like slow motion watching him fall and hit the ice. The ice slowly turned red and he wasn’t moving. I saw the team trainer head out to check on him and I knew it wasn’t good. Luke skated over and motioned for me to go to the trainer area, so I never actually saw Z get up. Penny was calling but I had no answers. I was scared and so was she and her parents. Seeing him walk around the corner, I have never felt so relieved. I was crying, which is sad, because he was the one hurt. But between the game, the hospital, and having visitors, my mind hasn’t been able to rest. It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep once I lay down.
Monday morning, I get ready for work, giving Zane a kiss before heading out the door. He can’t practice yet, but he has meetings and team stuff he still needs to participate in. Coffee is my first task; I know we are going to have a lot of press stuff to do with Zane’s injury. People are already asking if he’s coming back to play the next two games. If we win this coming weekend, we will secure our spot in the playoffs, so fans are worried. We haven’t made any comments publicly about Zane’s condition except that he is back home and doing well. The college hockey league is going to want a full concussion report sent in.
Coffee in hand, I meet Marissa to go over social media plans. We will have a press conference once all the admin stuff is done. I will do a live of that and then field questions from there. Zane is the team’s best defender. Being without him will cause a weakness in not only the team but on the ice as well. I also don’t know how Z will handle not playing, being only a few months from the championship. Hopefully, if they bench him, it won’t be for long.
The rest of my meetings for the day are quick; they schedule the press conference for 4 P.M. I post on all the team socials letting people know we will be live with updates. I spend the rest of my afternoon creating reels and TikTok videos until it is time for the press conference.
Coach does a quick run through of Zane’s condition, making sure to clarify he does not have a concussion. He does say he will be benched for the coming home game, just to give his head an extra week to heal. There is no plan to keep him benched for the away game the following week. Fans in the comments are relieved and all express their support for Z and the team.
As I am packing up for the day, my stomach growls. I forgot to eat, and I am starving. I text Z and he has study group, so I message Lucy and Celisa. They respond quickly with a girl’s night in plan. Who can say no to wine and sushi, followed up by gossip from campus? Plus, I need to talk to them about me moving out.
When I arrive, I am swarmed with hugs and a glass of wine. The sushi arrives quickly, and we talk about the latest campus drama while we eat. It’s nice because I don’t go here, so the drama is fun to hear, but nothing for me to worry about. When we start our second glass of wine, I tell the girls about agreeing to move in with Zane. They both are excited and supportive, which is honestly such a relief. Lucy tells me about her friend Charlie, who is interested in taking over my lease. She seems super nice and is a waitress downtown. She is finishing up her degree in business management. We make plans for the four of us to get together. After more chit chat I head out after reminding them that I will see them at our parents for Christmas.
Driving back to our apartment I think about all the stuff I need to get done before Christmas. When I get home, I need to bring up bills. I haven’t had the chance. I still need to get presents for Zane and Luke. Luke will be easy, I just need to run to the store and actually pick it up. Zane, though, I don’t know what to get. He seems like he has everything he wants and if he doesn’t have it, he just buys it. Maybe a cute doormat or something for the apartment. I need to figure something out soon; I have three weeks to prepare. Pulling up to the house, I see Zane is home from his study group.
“Hey, babe,” I say as I come inside.
“Hey, sunshine, have fun with the girls?” he asks, giving me a kiss and pulling me into a hug.
“Yeah, we had a nice time. Listen, I have a question for you. Let me know if you don’t want to answer,” I tell him as I sit on the couch.
“What’s up?” he asks curiously.
“We never discussed bills. Honestly, I’m not sure how you even afford all the stuff you do without a job and no scholarship. But I just want to know how you want to split the bills. I don’t want to freeload,” I tell him.
He chuckles a little and I raise an eyebrow, questioning him.
‘Babe, I am not hurting for money because my grandfather set Penny and me up with a hefty trust fund. That’s how a high school teacher has a nice house in Tampa with a single income. I only got this apartment because it’s close to the rink. I don’t need any money from you, seriously. But if you want to contribute, you can help with groceries. Put the rest towards your student loans if you want,” he says.
With that conversation over, I feel less bad about the dinners, Target trip, gift cards, all the stuff he has somehow been affording. I can definitely use the extra income to pay off my student loans and maybe start saving for a new car. I am going to go sentimental for his gift for sure. That seems like the right thing to do. I just need to get a plan together this week.
Heading to bed, we talk about him not playing this week.
“I am going to still be on the bench as their co-captain. I need to be close to help them. I want to be able to help guide Walters as he steps up to my position. He is good, but he hasn’t gotten much ice time, so I want to help assure him,” he says.
I am so proud of how he is handling being off the ice this week. I know it’s not easy.
“On the plus side, you are getting extra study time for finals next week. That is always good! Then you guys head to Alabama and you will be back on the ice. I will be here cheering you on!” I try to encourage him to stay in good spirits.
I must have fallen asleep fast because I don’t remember closing my eyes after talking about the game and finals. But it’s Tuesday, so I am going to work with the basketball team today. Getting dressed, I make sure to wear a school shirt with my leggings, so I don’t go in all “hockey is the best”. I want to blend in as I help Stacy, the team’s social media student intern, to get their socials tracking steadily upwards.
My day with Stacy is amazing! The basketball team is great; all the guys were friendly and willing to try all the things. I love when players are willing to participate in the silly TikToks. She will be fine now that I have shown her the best ways to find sounds and ideas. I will also send her over a content calendar that should help to plan things. She will be coming to the game Saturday to learn my process for game day. By the time I leave the courts I am confident they will be viral before they know it.
Wednesday I go get Luke’s gift and decide to use my gift cards from Z. Shopping Day is my kind of self care! At TJ Maxx I get some picture frames, a few throw pillows for the couch, some amazing scented candles, and a cute dress. I get some art for the walls, a new planner, and a cute little popcorn maker at Home Goods. I stop and get tacos for lunch and then head to Target. It is my last stop and it’s also my biggest stop.
I get some coffee first, though. My obsession with iced coffee is unreal. At Target I go crazy, getting a new comforter set, bath towels, bath rugs, a cute kitchen rug, and matching loungewear set for us both. I also grab some groceries. Then with a car full of goods, I head home.
It takes five loads to get everything into the apartment, but I hustle to get everything done before Z gets home. I text him to let me know when he pulls in. Everything is set up, hung up, and cleaned up by the time I get the text. I meet him outside the front door.
“What’s up, sunshine?” he asks, looking curious.
“I used those gift cards you gave me. I hope you like what I got. If you don’t, I have the tags and receipts,” I say as I step inside, letting him in.
He looks at the kitchen now with matching mats and towels on the oven.
“I like it,” he says, moving to the living room. The art is on the wall behind the couch, the pillows are nicely placed, and a candle is burning.
“Looks good, babe, seriously,” he says, kissing my temple.
He heads to the bedroom, stopping to see the new comforter I got and the picture frame on the nightstands with photos of us in them. He then heads to the bathroom without a word. The matching rugs and bath towels are set out. There is a cute sign on the wall in here, too.
“You did amazing, and you obviously took into account my style when you got everything. I love it. The new bedding set looks great, and I love the art and photos,” he says as he picks me up and kisses me.
He sets me on the counter and strips out of his shirt and pants, leaving him standing in just his boxers. I pull my shirt off, leaving my bra on. He kisses my neck, trailing kisses from my ear lobe to my collarbone. He reaches around, taking my bra off, and immediately takes a handful. Lowering his mouth, he plays with one nipple while he palms the other one, rubbing the nipple between his fingers. Switching sides, my nipples are sensitive and I can feel myself getting wet. I reach down, attempting to stroke him, but I am at a bad angle. He realizes what I am doing and backs up, letting me slide off the counter. Before I can do anything, he has my pants around my ankles and is spinning me around to look at the mirror.
He slides my panties to the side, then slides a finger in me.
“Already so wet. I wonder if I can just slide in,” he whispers, as he pulls his cock out. He guides himself to line up with my entrance.
“Be a good girl and relax,” he murmurs before slamming into me from behind.
“Look at how beautiful you are. Do you want to wear my hand like a necklace, baby girl?” Z asks.
I nod. He wraps his hand around my neck as he continues to rail me from behind. I cum with his hand around my throat and making eye contact through the mirror. I have never felt so sexy as I do when Z is looking at me.
He spins me around, then picks me up and brings me from the bathroom to our bed.
“Let’s christen these new sheets,” he growls as he climbs on top of me. I am still coming down from my post-orgasm high when he is sliding into me. Reaching over to the nightstand, I can hear him moving stuff around trying to find what he is looking for without stopping. I see him pull out the little pink wand from our last experiment night. I expect him to pull out and use it, but no. He puts it on my clit while he is still fucking me.
“Be a good girl and don’t cum until I say so,” he murmurs. “Such a tight pussy, so wet for me,” he whispers.
“Please, Z, I am ready. Let me cum. Please, I am begging,” I whimper as he starts thrusting harder and faster.
“Not yet,” he says. I am overstimulated, my clit is throbbing, my nipples are hard, my pussy is soaking wet, begging to orgasm.
He turns the wand up a notch, leans down into my ear whispering, “Now, baby,” as he nips my neck.
I have never orgasmed like that. I felt like I was reborn. I am catching my breath when Z gets up. He comes back with a washcloth.
“You were such a good girl, now go to sleep. You have work in the morning,” he whispers into the darkness.
Thursday is boring. I have no meetings. I have no impending deadlines. I spend the day walking around, filming candid stuff: the guys playing hacky sack and throwing a ball, some workout footage (everyone loves a shirtless hockey guy in the gym), footage of them watching tape, no sound, just focused faces. There’s film of some ice drills they are doing in small groups, and I luck out and catch the guys cracking jokes and get some really cute footage of just happiness.
I come back to my office to see my favorite guy sitting on my couch with a McDonald’s Coke. He hangs out, going over plays, while I work on posting some of my candid stuff I got today.
On our way out, I see the Z everyone complains about being grumpy. It’s almost comical to see how he is with people who aren’t me. One of the freshmen comes up and says he is glad he is okay, and Zane barely grunts out a thank you. Like he uses all his words with me so he can’t use them with others because he reaches his daily quota. I see how respected he is for his drive and skill, regardless of how he communicates in grunts and scowls. I also see how in the bedroom, he is the dirtiest of dirty talkers, but when he’s just hanging out with me he is a loving and golden retriever style absolute lover boy. A man of many faces, I guess.
When we get home, Zane cooks dinner and we talk about the day a little bit. He tells me about how studying for finals next week is going. We discuss the plans for the game with him being on the bench. I am going to try and film some good content showing his captain side since I never get much footage of that. Settling in to watch a movie after dinner, I am reminded how happy I am right now.
With Justin, it was like always walking on eggshells. I had to do what he wanted, when he wanted. I didn’t get to ask questions or have ideas. I considered this dream of owning a sports media company. I even had a business plan and all. Justin laughed in my face, telling me that it would never work and it makes no sense to try. So I let that dream die, along with all my happiness. He was constantly crushing my soul. I don’t know why I didn’t leave sooner, but it’s not for lack of wanting to. When someone treats you like that, you begin to believe them. You believe you are a failure and that no one will ever love you. It’s so discouraging that you don’t want to try, because what if they are right? Graduating college was the moment I realized I wasn’t a failure and I wasted no time packing and leaving. I told him after I had started moving stuff. I didn’t want him to be able to influence me.
I never told my family until after I left him because I was so embarrassed. They reminded me that I am strong for leaving before it escalated. I am lucky to have an amazing support system who helped me. Then I got to know Zane, who has shown me what it’s like to be truly loved, and most importantly, respected. He might be rough and dirty in the bedroom, but I never question that he respects every inch of my body and mind. He allows me to be my own person by his side, instead of trying to mold me into what he wants me to be. I think I might even be ready to tell him I love him, but I am not one hundred percent sure. If he said it, though, I think I might say it back.
