An awareness slides over my senses.
It’s that feeling I get when something has changed.
Mr. Gintley keeps talking, but I stopped listening.
My instincts have kept me alive this long. And I’ve learned the hard way to trust those instincts. To trust myself.
And only myself.
But those instincts weren’t strong enough, not tonight. Because the last thing I expect to see when I move my gaze is Payton.
My Payton.
Decades of practice keep the surprise off my face, but my brain can’t compute what I’m seeing.
Payton is here.
Payton is here.
At my birthday party.
In public.
Anger bubbles beneath my shock.
Wasn’t she listening to anything I said?
Did I not make it clear that knowing me was dangerous?
My teeth clench together.
I need to get her out of here.
Nikki drags her claws over my chest, and I watch as Payton’s wide eyes drop to track the movement.
Goddamn it.
I let my gaze lower too.
To Payton’s cleavage on display, and the tight sparkly fabric clinging to every one of her fucking curves.
I settle on the short-as-fuck dress, showing way too much thigh.
That outfit is going to earn her ass a tanning.
I want to go to her. I want to shout at everyone to leave, so I can fuck some sense into her right here, in the middle of the room.
I can’t do any of that though. Because I can’t afford to bring a single ounce of attention to her.
And I can’t let her bring any attention to us.
I need to force her hand. Make her turn away, walk away from me, without a word.
A thick sort of darkness fills my chest because I know what to do. I know what will work.
Another woman might storm over and throw a drink in my face, or confront me right here, in front of all the guests. But Payton isn’t like that, she’s been hurt too many times. She’s too fragile. She won’t stand up for herself.
Which is why she needs me. Because I’ll defend her. I’ll do any-fucking-thing for her. But right now, I need to break her heart. And it makes me furious.
With Payton’s eyes on Nikki, I slide my hand across my date’s back and curl my fingers around her hip. The feeling of her skinny body under my palm makes my skin itch. It’s not the body I want to touch. Not the body my hands have imprinted to memory.
Even from several feet away, I can see Payton’s face blanch.
I’m so fucking sorry, Baby.
She saw it, just like I needed her to. And Mr. Gintley saw it, just like I needed him to.
He never stopped talking, but I know he saw my attention shift. And now, instead of wondering what I was looking at, he’s looking at my hand on Nikki’s body, and getting distracted by staring at her tits.
Nikki is so desperate, she reacts like a sow in heat, pawing at me even more.
You’d think she’d understand the deal by now. Clearly it’s time for me to move on from our arrangement.
I pull my gaze away from Payton before she can catch me staring. And I watch as she stands in my periphery, the hurt rolling off her in waves.
But I don’t move. Or react. I barely breathe, until I see her form spin and leave. And I hate myself more than I ever have before.
