Grayson
I look down at the screen. Waiting for something. A call, a text. I just want to see her name on the screen.
She won’t call. I know that. She never calls. I told her I’d call her, but I haven’t. Ever since I last saw her, I can’t stop thinking about her, looking at her name on my phone. I even found her social media to see what she’s been up to.
She threw me off guard the other day. She asked for the one thing I can’t give her again. She asked me to take her, to brand her as mine. I let her down as gently as I could, but she won’t give up. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out, either. I’ve tried. The more those baby blue eyes stare up at me and beg me to teach her everything I know, the more I want to accept.
The things I could teach her. I could learn her body, make her learn mine. I would have so much fun with her. I already do without the sex. I can only imagine what it would be like if I just gave in and took all of her.
“How was that?” Aiden grunts.
“Huh?”
He groans, lifting the bar off his chest and placing it back on the rack above him. “Dude. If you’re going to be my spotter, you can’t just stare into space.”
I blow out a breath. “Sorry.”
He sits up on the bench, drying his sweaty face with a towel. “What’s going on with you anyway?” he asks. “Is it your parents again?”
Aiden’s the only one who knows about my parents— to a certain extent. He’s been my best friend since I met him in orientation freshman year, and he’s a loyal motherfucker, so I know he won’t be running his mouth.
“No,” I tell him. “They call, I ignore. It seems to work out fine.”
That’s a lie. It’s not working out. I can’t get them off my back. They don’t trust me and probably never will, but I can’t change what happened, and I’m here, dammit. I’m here trying to prove to them I’m willing to do whatever the fuck they want me to do until I get what I need, and I can leave.
“Then what’s up?” he asks.
Rosie and I agreed to keep it a secret. She probably feels embarrassed to be seen with me, knowing she’s too good for me. So, I don’t want to ruin her freshman year by letting everyone assume she’s with me.
She needs the freedom, the space to discover who the fuck she is without her parents breathing down her neck. Who would have thought I’d be relating to Rosalie Whitton?
“C’mon. You can tell me,” Aiden says.
I run a hand through my hair. “I can’t,”
He scoffs. “Dude. It’s obviously bothering you. You haven’t stopped staring at your phone since we got here.”
I groan, running a hand down my face. “Fine, but I swear to God, if you tell anyone about this, I will break your kneecaps.”
He snorts. “Like you could reach. Just tell me and stop whining.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Jesus. You’re a cocky bastard. Fine, do you remember that girl who came to our house two weeks ago?”
He uncaps his water bottle, downing half the bottle, and then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific. I’ve seen many girls come in and out of our house.”
Not from me, he hasn’t. I haven’t been with a single girl since Rosie walked in on Brianna and me. Fuck knows why. Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t stepped foot in a party since I saw her that night, or maybe it’s because I haven’t been able to get her off my mind to even start thinking about another girl.
I glare at him. “Blonde hair. White skirt. Ran out of there?”
“Oh. Rosalie, right?”
“Yeah.”
“His eyes widen. “You slept with her?” he asks. “You?”
My eyes narrow at him. “No, asshole. What do you mean by that? You don’t think I could get with her?”
He laughs. “She’s not exactly your type, is all. And you don’t seem like her type,”
He’s not completely wrong. Most of the time, I’d end the night with a dark-haired girl, tattoos, piercings. Girls who I knew wouldn’t turn this into more. The more fucked up, the better. We matched. We made sense. But nothing makes sense between Rosalie and me.
“That doesn’t matter. We’re not sleeping together.”
“Who said anything about sleep?” He smirked.
“Fuck off. You know what I meant.”
He laughs. “Then what’s the problem?”
I sighed. “She asked me for, um… help.”
Aiden snorted. “Is that code for sex? Because you just said—”
“No.” I wipe a hand down my face. “She asked me to show her how to live like I do.”
He nods. “So, she wants to run away from her problems by pretending to be a fuck up?”
“Fuck you. No one’s pretending,” I tell him.
“Oh really?” he asks. “Because you let those rumors about you fly by when you could shut it down if you wanted to. But you don’t want to. You want everyone to think you’re a poor boy whose mother is addicted to drugs.” He laughs humorlessly. “I’ve got to tell you, it’s not as cool as you think it is.”
“I don’t think it’s cool,” I tell him. “I just don’t give a fuck what they say about me.”
“It’s the fucking worst,” he continues. “Having to stand by and watch your mother rot away. Not having food for a week. Having to sleep on a dirty mattress. Do you have any idea what that’s like?”
Yes. I want to tell him. I’ve seen it before. But all I can do is stare back at him, seeing his eyes darken at me. “Fuck, bro.”
“Yeah.” He scoffs. “Fuck, bro.”
“Shit, Aiden.” All I can think of is Aiden living in those conditions. “That’s just what they assume,” I tell him. It’s not like I started those rumors.
“But you don’t say any different. You let them think it.”
“Because I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Know what? That you have two loving parents who are richer than most people here. What a fucked-up life you have.”
“Aiden. It’s not like that.”
He doesn’t hear me, though. He looks right past me. “If it was me, I’d be flashing my money around to get them to shut the fuck up.”
“I don’t have any money. I’m doing this for you,” I grit out.
He stiffens, meeting my eyes. “Fuck,” he mutters, wiping a hand down his face. “I know.” He sighs. “I just… I got carried away. I let my fucked-up life get the better of me and took it out on you.” He blows out a breath, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I tell him. “Don’t worry about it.” He has every right to be mad over the fact that what people are saying about me is his reality.
“It’s not,” he says, shaking his head and dropping his eyes.
“Aiden,” I say, making him look at me. “It’s fine.”
He nods, swallowing. “So, what’s the problem then? With the girl?” he asks me.
His eyes soften, making me remember why I don’t care about the rumors. I would do it all over again. “She asked me to show her how to live like a regular college kid,” I smirk, remembering her at my doorstep.
“What makes her not a regular college kid?”
“She’s rich,” I tell him, rolling my eyes when he snorts. “Yeah, I get it. We have that in common. You can drop it now.”
“Fine. So, what’s the issue.”
“She wants me to give her the college experience. Drinking, parties, all of that. And um…” I rub the back of my neck. “She asked me to…” Fuck, am I really going to tell him this? “She asked me to teach her about sex. She wants me to take her virginity.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“You can’t do it,” he tells me.
“What? Why not?”
“Girls like that are too vulnerable. Too emotional for casual sex. She’ll end up getting feelings for you and cling to you like a wet dog.”
“Yeah. I figured.” That’s exactly what I told her the other day. He’s right. I know he’s right.
“You’ve got to end it with her.”
My head snaps up, looking right at him. “What? No,” I tell him. “I can still help her without getting in her pants.”
He raised his brow at me. “Really?”
“Yes.” I glare at him. “I’ve done it already.”
“And you didn’t touch her? He asks suspiciously. “Not even kissed her?”
“No. I can control myself, you know.” I don’t tell him how badly I want to kiss her every time I see her. He doesn’t need to know that.
“This isn’t going to end well,” he says. “I’m telling you now, you’ll end up giving in, and she’ll get attached. You’re better off just backing away from her.”
I know what he’s saying is true, but I don’t want to stop seeing her. Even if we can’t fuck, I still want to help her. I can’t imagine someone else taking her to places, teaching her everything they know, taking all of her firsts. I hate the idea of that being a possibility.
“I’m not going to stay away from her,” I tell him. “Nothing’s going to happen between us. I help her, that’s it.”
He shakes his head, laughing under his breath. “Good luck with that.”
I scoff. “I don’t need luck. I can control myself; I’m not an animal.”
The door opens, and the gym fills with noise as Ben Reed and his band of assholes follow. I curse under my breath, rolling my eyes. I hate this fucking guy. Ever since we went to school together, this asshole has gotten on my nerves. He’s the kind of douchebag who thinks he’s better than everyone else. The kind who flashes his daddy’s money and spits on poor people.
He’s had it out for me since the beginning. I know he was the one who started those rumors; he told me so. Even though he knows the truth, he still acts like I’m gum on the bottom of his shoe.
“Look who it is,” Ben says as he catches me.
Aiden groans when he sees him. He doesn’t like Ben either. Freshman year, Aiden tried to pledge to be in the frat house. He told me it was cheaper than a dorm room. Ben tried to get Aiden to snort a line of cocaine as one of their hazing rituals. He quit the pledge, and I told him he could move in with me.
“Ben, why don’t you fuck off?” I spit out.
“Where’s that virgin of yours?”
I freeze. My eyes drift to Aiden, and he lifts his eyebrows in question. He’s probably wondering how Ben knows that. I sure as hell didn’t tell him.
“What did you just say?”
“You don’t think I know?” he says, laughing. “That girl screams virgin.”
My jaw clenches and my fists ball up. God, I want to punch him.
“Do you want to bet who gets that sweet pussy first?” he asks. “I bet it’s me.”
Fuck this. I close my eyes and try to calm myself down. I can’t get expelled. I need that money.
He laughs. “You know, I can be so kind. She’ll be screaming underneath me in no time. She won’t even see it coming.”
That’s it. I can’t fucking stand here and listen to this bullshit. I stride towards him, but Aiden beats me to it, pinning him against the wall. “Say that again. I dare you.”
“Aiden, what the fuck.” I pull him off of Ben. He doesn’t have money like my parents do. He can’t get out of this.
“I’m not going to let that asshole say that shit.”
I don’t know whether to thank him or punch him. He stood up for Rosie, but he also risked his future here.
I turn to look at Ben, and he’s got a scowl on his face, breathing hard. “You stay away from Rosie, or I will fucking kill you myself.”
“Fuck you,” he spits out. “That bitch isn’t worth it,” he says before he and the other two dicks, who follow him around, leave the gym.
“What the fuck was that?” I ask Aiden once they’re gone.
He shakes his head. “I hate motherfuckers who speak about women like that,” he says, running a towel down his face and cleaning up the sweat.
“You could have gotten suspended. Or expelled,” I tell him.
He breathes out like he just realized that. “Fuck.”
My phone lights up on the bench beside me, and I pick it up.
Brent: I’m here.
“I’ve got to go,” I say, looking up at Aiden. “Are you going to be ok?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “Go. It’s fine.” He stands up from the bench, walking over to the treadmills. “I’m gonna do lower body. Calm myself down.”
I nod, pick up the duffle bag, and walk out the door. Telling Aiden about Rosalie was a mistake, even if he protected her from that asshole. I needed a second opinion, but I didn’t need someone else to cockblock me. I’ve been doing that just fine. I know I can’t go there with her, I know that, but now he’s suggesting I stay away from her completely? I can’t do that.
No matter how hard it is for me to keep things friendly between us, I want to keep seeing her; I want to help her.
I see Brent leaning against the wall outside the gym. He’s looking around, panicking while he’s got a joint in his hand. He’s paranoid; I can see it in his face, the way he keeps looking around him. If he doesn’t calm down, he’s going to call attention to himself.
The closer I get to him, the more I can smell it. The smell hits me like a brick, and I tense. I hate the smell of pot, and it’s everywhere I turn. He sees me approaching and walks toward me.
He lifts his head in greeting when he approaches me, but he keeps looking behind his shoulder.
“Could you be any more obvious?” I snap between clenched teeth. I take it out of my duffle bag and hand it to him.
In a second, there’s a waft of cash shoved in my hand as he hurries away.
I start to count the cash, making sure he didn’t stiff me this time.
“Hey…oh.”
My head snaps up at the familiar voice. She’s walking away. Her head is down as her feet rush away from me. I don’t give a fuck about the money right now. I shove it inside the bag and head towards her.
“Hey, wait up.”
She looks behind her shoulder and stops at the sight of me. She slowly turns around as I get closer to her.
“Hi,” I breathe out when I get to her. “Were you running away from me, angel?”
“Hey,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry I interrupted you. I didn’t…” She tucks her hair behind her hair before leaning in. She’s on her toes and still can’t reach me. I’m taller than her, so I give her a hand and lean down until her mouth is resting next to my ear. “Was that a drug deal?” she asks.
I snap my eyes closed at the breathy sound of her voice in my ear. I hate that she thinks I’m selling drugs. Aiden’s words come back to haunt me. I should tell her that none of those rumors are true. Instead, I take her hand in mine and start to pull her away.
“Where are we going?” she asks.
“For another lesson.”
