Grayson
It’s her.
I’m rigid for a moment, unable to move, staring at the wooden door that she closed behind her. She rushed out of here so quickly, I barely had time to look at her, but it was definitely her.
I can’t believe she’s here. Why is she here? In my house, in my room? After Friday night, my mind filled with thoughts of the angel I saw and never thought I’d see again.
Part of me thought I had made it up, made her up in my mind, made up the way she would keep looking back at me all night. But she was just here, in my room.
“Who was that?” Brianna asks. She sits back on my thighs, eyebrows scrunched as she looks down at me. She’s still straddling me, her arms wrapped around my neck as all my thoughts are consumed by the girl who just ran from me.
“Huh?”
“The girl,” she clarifies. “Who was that?”
Your guess is as good as mine, I want to say. I never saw her before the party, and now I’ve seen her twice.
“I have no idea,” I say honestly.
“Was that your sister?” she asks.
My expression drops as I glare at her. My sister? In what world would she be my sister? She’s blonde with blue eyes. Whereas my hair is dark, my eyes are dark, everything about me is dark, and the complete opposite of her.
“Does she look like my sister?”
“So, what, is she just another skanky whore?” she says, raising her voice as she backs off my lap and stands above me with her arms crossed.
I groan. She’s jealous, that’s not a good sign. “Another?” I ask. “Are you calling yourself a skanky whore?”
She scoffs. “Ugh. You know what I mean.”
I shake my head. “I think it means you’re leaving,” I say, getting up from the bed.
“What?” she yells.
I open the door and turn back to face her. “You heard me. I need you to go.” And quickly. She’s probably gone by now, and I don’t even know her name, let alone where to find her.
“Why?” Brianna asks.
“Well, first of all, I’m not in the mood anymore.”
“I can help with that,” she says huskily before grabbing my junk outside of my pants.
I grunt at her touch and take her hand off me. “Yeah, no.”
She looks like I just slapped her in the face. Her eyes are widened as she backs away. “Is it because of her?” she asks.
I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t even know that girl, but since she walked in on my make-out session, all I want to do is run out there and find her.
“Second of all,” I say, ignoring her question. “Don’t call girls skanky whores, especially girls you don’t even know. It’s tacky, even for you.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Third of all. I told you what this was. A hook-up. I’m not your boyfriend, and I will never be. I never gave you any inclination that this was something else.”
“Yeah,” she says, nodding. “I know, I just thought you’d change your mind.” She sighs. “I mean, we’ve been hanging out a lot more recently.”
Yeah, that’s probably my fault. I know girls get clingy, especially if you see them more than a few times a week. They start thinking it’s something other than what it is and get false expectations.
Brianna’s a nice girl, she’s fun, but she’s probably the kind of girl who believes in love and wants a relationship and all of that bullshit. That’s not me, or ever will be, so I’ve got to cut this off now.
“I think it’s best we end it,” I tell her.
She nods, dropping her eyes. “Yeah.”
“Are we good?” I ask her.
She shrugs, picks up her bag from the desk, and slings it over her shoulder. “I guess.”
I nod. “You know your way out?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says.
I rush out of the room. I scan the hallway, but she’s not here. I can’t rack my mind for any reasoning why she would be here.
My mind floods with memories of Friday night’s party when we were playing Never Have I Ever. I looked at her. The whole night I kept my eyes on her. My angel is a good girl. She didn’t drink once.
She seemed upset by it. The slight frown on her face whenever a new question was asked was obvious, but probably only to me since I was looking at her all night long.
But she looked at me too, a lot. Her eyes caught mine multiple times. I even held eye contact for longer than necessary, expecting her to back down, to shy away, but she kept looking, continued her stolen glances at me, and now she was in my house. Except she wasn’t, not anymore.
She probably got scared at the sight she walked in on. From the very revealing questions last night, I can only assume that she’s as innocent as she looks and has probably never had a sweaty make-out session with someone, and the thought of that makes me want to find her even more.
Maybe it’s because of how different she is from me and everyone else I’ve seen, but I want to know more about her. I’m intrigued, and I need to find her.
I rush down the stairs, looking for blonde hair, but she’s not here.
Aiden walks out of the living room, and I walk over to him. “Have you seen a girl? Blonde hair.”
He furrows his brows a little, and then his eyes widen. “Oh, you mean Rosalie?” he says.
Rosalie. Jesus, even her name sounds sweet.
“Yeah, she ran out of here,” he says, laughing. “Seemed like she couldn’t get out of here any faster. What did you do?”
Of course, he’d assume I did something to make her run out. She looked shocked to see me with a girl on my lap. The little sound of her gasp knocked the breath out of me, only seeing blonde as she slammed the door. Maybe she hasn’t heard about my reputation around here, but why was she here if she doesn’t know about me?
I don’t even answer him, I open the front door and look down, seeing blonde.
There she is, sitting on the front steps. I shut the door behind me as quietly as possible, not wanting to scare her away.
“Were you looking for me?”
She gasps at the sound of my voice and turns around, stunned to see me. She gets up from the steps and brushes her skirt back into place. My eyes drift down her body; she’s wearing white again. A white skirt and a white tank top covered by a light pink cardigan around her shoulders. She looks heavenly, like an angel. I smirk; the nickname I gave her is very fitting.
My eyes drift lower, down to her hands, seeing her clutch a piece of paper. “What’s that?” I ask her, stepping closer to her.
“Oh, um. I came here to talk to you.” Her voice is like sugar. A light, sweet melody comes out of her lips when she speaks.
“Okay,” I say, waiting for her to explain because I have no idea what she wants to talk to me about or why she would be looking for me specifically.
“I need your help,” she says. That shouldn’t make my palms twitch, but it does.
“What do you need help with?” I ask her.
She stares at me for a while, letting her eyes shut slowly and pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. “I thought this would be easier,” she says, hushed and low.
She’s nervous. She should be. I have no idea what’s on that note or why she came here looking for me, but I’m glad she did.
“Can I see the note?”
Her eyes snap open, and she blushes, the red tint filling her pale complexion as she tucks a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. She nervously reaches out and hands me the note, and I take it from her, my fingers slightly touching hers.
I take the note in my hand and open it up. Scanning down the list. What the hell?
1. Get drunk (ask Leila for other options besides beer)
2. Kiss someone.
3. Go on a date.
4. Go to a sex shop (do they still have those or is everything online now?)
5. Go skinny dipping (maybe in the summer so the water isn’t cold.)
6. Have an orgasm.
7. Lose my virginity!
“Are you serious?” I ask her in disbelief.
She nods.
“This is what you need help with?”
She nods again.
I smile, she’s so nervous she can’t even speak. “I think I’m going to need more of an explanation than a nod, angel.”
Shit. The nickname just slipped out of my mouth. Her eyes widen at the term, but then her eyes soften as she smiles. Thank fuck it didn’t freak her out.
She stands straight and licks her lips. “I want you to take my virginity,” she admits. She sounds confident, more so than before, but I can see her throat bobbing as she swallows nervously.
I start to laugh. I don’t mean to, but I choke out a laugh, she frowns a little, so I clear my throat, steadying myself. “You’re serious?” I ask her.
She nods, clamming up again.
“That isn’t much of an explanation,” I say, raising my eyebrow at her. She can’t be serious. Is this a joke?
“I said I needed your help,” she says.
I smirk. “That’s a little different than taking your virginity. I’m going to need a little more from you. What exactly do you need help with?” From her list, it’s pretty obvious, but I like to see her squirm.
Which she does. She shifts on her feet as she fidgets with her hands. Color reaches her face once again. I like seeing her blush, nervous, and shy around me. Most people assume they’re better than me and look the other way.
“Everything,” she admits.
“That’s a big spectrum.”
She nods and looks towards my hands. I’ve still got her note filled with a dirty to-do list, and I can’t help but wonder why she asked me. Does she know who I am around here? If she did, she wouldn’t want to be around me, let alone ask me to help her with this list.
“Why do you want to do this?” I ask her. “It’s okay to not do everything in a Never Have I Ever game. It doesn’t make you less of a person because you’re not… active.”
Her eyes meet mine, and her brows furrow; a line forms between her soft eyebrows. Shit, I didn’t mean to upset her. I just wanted her to know, if anyone pressured her into thinking she had to do any of these things, that she doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to.
“I want to be like you,” she says.
My eyebrows raise. I step back in shock, wondering why the hell she would say that. “No one wants to be like me.”
“I do.”
I’m confused. I’m so confused about why this girl thinks she needs my help, why she says she wants to be like me. She’s pure and sweet, and I’m everything but that. I’m tainted, corrupted, and I ruin everything I come into contact with. She’d be right to run the other way and never speak to me again.
“Why?” I ask her.
“Because,” she says, taking a step closer. “You have lived.”
I’m only more confused by that statement. I have lived? She thinks being me is living?
“What do you want from me?” I ask her because this is a completely different explanation for why she’s here. The list feels like just the tipping point for what she really wants.
She sighs. “I want to see the world like you do. I want to go crazy and forget about rules for once in my life,” she breathes out, blinking at me before continuing. “And I want you to teach me how to do that. I want you to teach me everything. How to not care, how to have fun and…” She tucks her hair behind her hair before her eyes meet mine. “I want you to teach me about sex. All of it.”
“Do they not have sex education wherever you come from?” I joke. She can’t possibly be serious. She wants me to corrupt her, to make her everything she’s not, when that’s the first thing I noticed about her. How honest and pure and kind she is. Not a chance.
She blinks slowly, her eyes locked on mine. “I want to learn from you,” she husks out.
Aw hell. This is the worst form of temptation. I can’t do this. It would be like I was taking advantage of her, and it wouldn’t feel right. The only reason she’s asking me is because she has heard the rumors, and she thinks I’m the complete opposite of what she is, good and happy.
If it were anyone else, they would jump at the opportunity, but seeing her standing at my doorstep, asking to ruin her goodness, I can’t do it.
