Thud.
“Shit!” I jumped at the loud bang echoing in the room.
“Sorry.” Eli stood a few feet from where I was sprawled on the couch, balancing an armload of books. He tucked the stack under his chin, then slowly bent his knees. The position looked awkward as hell, and the stack shifted slightly, becoming even more precarious.
“I got it.” I hurried over to get the book that had fallen for him.
“Thanks.” He stood and smiled wryly.
I glanced at the cover of the book, then put it on top of the stack. “Doing a research project?”
“Not with these. I need to return them to the library.” He sighed. “Looks like I’ll be making two trips.”
“Need a drive?”
He blinked at me like a confused owl. “Really?”
“Sure. I’m just killing time. I don’t mind driving you if it’ll save you a trip.”
“Thanks.” He smiled, a big happy one that lit up his face. “I’ve got a list of books on reserve. It’ll only take a few minutes to check these back in and get new ones.”
“No worries.” I waved dismissively. “Let me grab my keys, and we can head out.”
A minute later I came thundering down the stairs, my keys and phone in hand. I tucked both into the jacket I’d thrown on and took half the stack from Eli’s arms.
“I really appreciate this,” he said as we headed out of the house.
“It’s no problem.” I balanced the books in one arm and locked the door. Using the key fob, I unlocked the car.
We climbed in, and I handed him the books.
“Can I ask you something?” I cranked the car and looked over my shoulder so I could back out of the driveway.
“Sure.”
“If I wanted to make a video for someone, what should I do to make it look good?”
“Like the technical aspects of filming? Or are you looking for pointers on how to pose and stuff like that.”
“Both.”
“If you’re not going to be holding the phone, put it on something stationary. Nothing ruins a video faster than a shaky screen. Lighting is big. Phones make things look darker, so you want the room to be bright, but make sure you’re not backlit. And straight on or looking slightly down is best for showing off your body and face. Low and angled up is good if you’re doing dick or ass shots.”
“Okay.” I focused on the road. “That’s not intimidating at all.”
“I’m no expert, but I have a feeling that… whoever you send it to will appreciate it no matter what the lighting looks like or which angles you use. Don’t stress about the technical stuff and just make sure you’re relaxed and try to have fun. It’s easy to fake it when whoever is watching it doesn’t know you. It’s not so easy when the person can read you.”
“True.” I bit my lip. “I’ve never done anything like this before. I mean, I’ve snapped pics of my dick before. Pretty sure every dude with a phone has done that. But I’ve never shown them to anyone. And I’ve never even considered making a video.”
“Sometimes stepping outside your comfort zone is scary. But you’ll never know if you like something until you try it.”
I snickered.
“What?”
“Jax said something like that to me. You’ll never know until you try. That’s what started me on this whole thing. I tried it, and I liked it. Liked it even more when he was involved.”
Eli clutched his books against his chest and looked out the window. “I’m glad you have that. A safe person to explore things with,” he said softly.
“Can I ask you another question?”
“Sure.” He didn’t turn to look at me.
“Do you have diabetes? It’s none of my business, but I was just wondering because of some stuff you’ve said, and…”
“Yeah. Type 1.” He sighed heavily. “I told Finn, but I should have told all of you. I’ve got a handle on it, but there’s always the chance that something could happen and I might need help.” Another deep sigh. “But I don’t really want to talk about that now.”
“That’s fine,” I said quickly.
We lapsed into silence. I felt like an asshole for asking, but it felt like an important thing to know, especially since we’d be in the house together for the rest of the break.
I turned into the student lot closest to the library and found a spot near the front. With the break in full swing, most of the campus was deserted.
Eli was subdued as we made our way inside. He went right to the desk and started chatting with one of the librarians. I leaned against the wall near the entrance and thought about what we’d talked about in the car.
Jax was my safe person. If I was going to step outside my comfort zone and explore things, he was the only choice.
I looked around my room, a flutter of nerves exploding deep in my stomach. The last time I’d tried to use the dildo Jax had ordered for me had been a lesson in humiliation. I hadn’t had the balls to try again, but I wanted to now. The thought of sharing this moment with Jax, letting him see me use it for the first time while he wasn’t here, was exciting. Did I have a performance kink? Or maybe I just liked the idea of performing for him?
Jax had told me he had a bit of a voyeur kink, and a video was the ultimate form of voyeurism, right?
I’d just spent the last twenty minutes testing different phone angles to see which would work best. I didn’t have a tripod or anything, and I felt a bit weird asking if I could borrow one from Eli, so leaning it against a stack of books on my desk was as good as it was going to get.
My entire bed was in the frame. I zoomed the camera in a bit. That should be good.
I’d turned the main light on, as well as my desk and bedside lamps. The harsh light did nothing to calm my nerves, but I pushed through them. I wanted to do this; I’d feel better once I started. Hopefully.
I set the timer for ten seconds, then sat on my bed. The camera began recording, and I drew in a deep breath. I’d gone back and forth on whether I should say something or just start. My mind was completely blank as I stared at the tiny phone screen. Guess I wasn’t going to be saying anything.
I’d already taken off my shirt, and I rubbed one hand over the leg of my jeans and lifted the other to gently stroke my chest. I’d noticed that Jax had a thing for both my hands and my pecs. The contact felt good, and as I dragged my fingers over the left one, my nipple pebbled.
Closing my eyes, I ran my hands over my chest and torso, pretending they were Jax’s hands. He always seemed to know exactly how to touch me, and his strong, firm grip never failed to drive me wild with desire.
We’d been hooking up for a few weeks now, and it was like we couldn’t get enough of each other. I’d never been as horny as I was when he was close. My body buzzed with expectation every time his hot gaze roved over me, and every touch made me burn hotter for him.
I’d also discovered that I loved sucking dick. Feeling him press down my throat, hearing his dirty commands or low grunts as he used my face, got me hot. Even just jerking him while he kissed me like he never wanted to stop was enough to get me close. And Jax seemed to love it as much as I did. The looks he’d give me as he sucked my dick were so dark and primal, possessive, even. And the reverent way he touched me made me feel not only wanted but needed.
I’d never had this kind of hunger for anyone. We were insatiable. I fucking loved it.
Moaning softly, I rubbed one hand over my bulge and opened my eyes. The screen on my phone was too small to see any details, but that was probably for the best. This way I could check to make sure I was in the frame without getting distracted.
Awareness prickled at my skin as I stood and slowly undid my jeans. The nerves were still there, but there was something exhilarating about knowing I was being recorded. That Jax would be seeing this later, maybe jerking off while he watched.
My dick tented the front of my boxers comically, and I pushed them and my jeans down, letting them rest midthigh. With my erection free, I gripped it by the base and gave myself a few lazy strokes. The contact felt good, and I focused on that as I worked myself over.
I closed my eyes and thought about last night. Jax had pushed my knees up around my armpits, holding me open with his hands as he’d gone to town on my ass. The position had been weird at first, but my reservations had quickly melted away as he’d switched between blowing and rimming me, keeping me right on the edge until I’d come so hard I’d seen stars.
When he’d climbed onto my chest and fed me his dick, I’d still been in a post-orgasmic daze. Watching his big body flex as he held himself over me had gotten me half-hard again, and the possessive way he’d held my hair and whispered all sorts of filth about how hot I looked and how hard I was going to make him come had only prolonged my afterglow.
“Fuck.” I squeezed my dick and opened my eyes. A thin stream of precum dripped from my tip. I swiped it up with one finger, then slipped that finger into my mouth and sucked it clean.
Needing more, I turned so my back was to the camera. I did a quick over-the-shoulder check to make sure I was in the frame, then picked up the lube I’d set out.
I slicked up two fingers, held myself open with one hand, and traced my slippery fingers over my hole. Little zings of pleasure crackled under the surface of the sensitive spot, and I slowly pressed one finger inside.
I didn’t particularly like this part, but I pushed through the initial resistance until my finger slid halfway in.
Keeping my eyes closed, I pretended it was Jax’s finger prepping me. Only he wasn’t prepping me for more fingers. Nope, in my fantasy, he was prepping me for his cock.
My lower half relaxed, and I slipped a second finger inside. The stretch felt amazing, and now that I knew what to do, I angled my fingers so they dragged over my prostate. Shivers of need flickered through me as I finger fucked myself. I wasn’t being gentle or going slow as I worked myself open. I wanted it hard and deep. I wanted to feel it, to feel him.
I hit my spot in just the right way, and my cock throbbed. I pulled my fingers free. Time for the big guns.
I grabbed the dildo off my bed. I took my time lubing it up, then did one last check to make sure I was still in the frame.
Breathing out, I spread myself open and teased the tip of the dildo over my hole. The soft silicone felt amazing, and the last of my nerves disappeared. I hadn’t even touched my dick, and I was still rock hard.
I imagined Jax sitting at my desk, watching me in real time. He’d be staring at me with lust-drenched eyes. Maybe he’d have his dick out or would he settle for rubbing it through his pants?
I pushed the tip of the toy against my hole and bore down. The head breached me.
“Oh!” I gasped. Slowly, I kept working it inside, breathing deeply. When it was all the way in, I gave a little test thrust. The toy slid over my spot.
“Fuck.” I grunted.
Ready for more, I gently tugged the toy almost all the way out, then pushed it back in. The slick slide felt amazing, and I did it again. And again.
Moaning up a storm, I fucked myself with the dildo. Jesus, if a toy felt this good, then I could only imagine how incredible the real thing would be.
My cock leaked and pulsed as pleasure moved through me, pinging between my ass and my dick. It lit me up inside, and I gave in to the overwhelming need for more.
Bending over at the waist, I caught myself on the bed with my free hand. I couldn’t spread my legs any wider because of my jeans, and the sensation of being trapped did funny things to my insides. Maybe I wasn’t as vanilla as I’d thought.
Using the last of my brain power, I searched for the little button on the base of the toy and pushed it.
“Holy shit!” I bit my lip so hard I tasted metal, and another cry bubbled up in my chest.
The vibrations pulsed inside me, low and perfect, teasing my inner walls and my spot. Jesus fuck, Jax was right. It felt fan-fucking-tastic.
Greedily, I pushed the button to set it to the middle speed. My knees nearly buckled. Hot breaths sawed out of me as the vibrations hit my spot just right. My legs shook, and my inner walls clenched around the toy.
“Holy shit. Fuck. God damn. Jesus fuck,” I muttered, or maybe shouted. I was so far gone I had no idea if I was being loud or not, and I didn’t care. All I cared about was how good the toy felt and how much I wished it was Jax’s cock.
I fucked myself on the toy, babbling nonsensically. My entire body reacted and pulsed, pressure built deep in my balls, and my ass tingled in a way I’d never felt before. Holy shit. Was I about to come?
I twisted the toy and angled it down. A crack of pleasure, like lightning, shot through me, and I was done.
My balls drew up, and my dick throbbed. I was coming, shooting onto the bed, my ass clenched around the still buzzing toy.
I fought to stay upright, but my knees were weak, and my thighs quaked. I collapsed onto the bed. My orgasm didn’t just hit. It tore through me, and I lost myself to the pleasure and gave myself over to the moment.
A twinge of pain brought me back to reality, and I blinked dazedly.
I’d ended up with my chest on the bed and my ass on my heels. The toy was still buried deep inside me, and the vibrations hurt my overly sensitive prostate.
Wincing, I pulled the toy out and fumbled to turn it off. I tossed the thing aside, then shakily got to my feet. I stumbled over to my desk, my wobbly legs and the jeans still around my thighs making an already difficult task even harder, and I grabbed my phone. When I had it, I lumbered back to my bed and fell on the mattress in a tangled heap. I angled the phone so my face filled the screen.
I looked not only fucked out but blissed out as well. “You were right. Again.” I sighed contentedly and rolled onto my back. “I imagined it was you. That the toy was your dick. I want that. I want you to fuck me.”
A niggle of self-consciousness filtered through the haze of my orgasm. I should stop talking before I said something really embarrassing. I ended the recording, then opened my text thread with Jax.
He was chilling in his room, waiting for his family to call.
Matt: still waiting?
Jax: yeah, what’s up?
Matt: I’m going to send you something
A flutter of nerves tickled my stomach. Was I really going to do this?
Jax: something like a dick pic?
Matt: kind of
Matt: more like video
Jax: really? That’s so hot
Matt: you haven’t even seen it yet
Jax: doesn’t matter what’s on it. The fact that it’s you will make it the hottest thing I’ve ever seen
His words helped me push through the last of my trepidation, and I sent the video to him. It took a long-ass time to load. When it was done, I shut off my phone screen and hid my face in my hands.
Was he going to watch it right away? How long was it? A few minutes, maybe more? I’d lost track of time and had no idea. I could always check my gallery but couldn’t bring myself to look.
After what felt like an eternity, my phone pinged. I unlocked it and opened our texts. A picture loaded.
His dick, spent and soft, lay against his stomach. Cum streaked his abs and chest.
Jax: I came before you did
Matt: yeah?
Jax: oh yeah, so fucking hot. Every second of it
Jax: did you mean it?
Matt: that I want you to fuck me?
Jax: yeah. We haven’t talked about it since that first night
Matt: I meant it. I’m ready and want it. Want you
Jax: the only thing stopping me from getting hard again is the fact that I have about three minutes until my family FaceTimes me. Instant boner killer
Matt: sorry not sorry
Jax: I need to clean up. See you when I’m done?
Matt: sounds good. What do you want for dinner?
Jax: whatever as long as there are least 2 vegetables
Matt: ugh. Can’t it be cheat day? We’re on vacation
Jax: one vegetable, final offer
Matt: you suck
Jax: I will when I get over there
Matt: now I’m going to be hard waiting for you
Jax: sorry not sorry
Jax: be there in a bit
My screen went dark, and I tossed the phone onto my bed. I should clean up too.
I glanced at the box with the lingerie I’d bought on my desk. My first attempt at stepping outside my comfort zone had gone better than I’d hoped. Maybe the next time would be even better.
