“What’s up with you?” I bumped Matt’s shoulder with mine. We’d just finished playing Enforcers, and I’d dominated all three periods.
“Nothing,” he mumbled and flopped back against the couch, his eyes downcast and his features tight.
“Are you worried about something?”
I could usually tell when he was on the verge of a panic attack, but this was different. He was distracted, but he didn’t seem anxious or like he was trapped in a spiral of worry.
“No.” He tossed his controller onto the coffee table and scrubbed a hand over his face.
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from pressing him. Matt didn’t respond well to being confronted. He would shut down and ruminate as he got stuck in his head.
He’d been off all week, which was why we were gaming on a Friday night while the rest of the team was at Red’s, a local bar we frequented.
At least we had the house to ourselves. All his roommates were gone for the weekend, and the quiet was nice.
He ran the tip of his finger over the material of his sweatpants, his movements slow and distracted.
“Matt.”
He flicked his gaze to mine.
“What’s going on?”
He pursed his lips.
I knocked my knee against his. “You’re kinda freaking me out.”
It wasn’t like him not to talk to me when something was bothering him.
“I…”
“What?”
“I watched porn the other day.” He blew out a breath. “Gay porn.”
The flicker of surprise hit fast, but I forced my expression to stay neutral.
“What I saw… confused me.” He scrubbed his palm over his thigh.
“How so?”
“It was… hot?”
“Is that the first time you watched porn with only guys in it?”
He nodded.
“And you enjoyed it?”
“I blew my load like I’d never touched my dick before.” He rolled his eyes. “I’d say I enjoyed it.”
“Is it what you saw that’s confusing you or your reaction?” I asked carefully.
“Both?” He grunted. “It’s your fault.”
“How is it my fault?”
“You’ve got me all confused!” he burst out. “First that kiss, then telling me I won’t know until I try, then the dildo. I’d never once thought about messing around with a guy or playing with my butt, and now that’s all I can think about.”
I pulled in a slow breath, digesting his words. He wanted to mess around with a guy?
He crossed his arms. “I’m not weirded out that I got off when some guy nutted all over his lingerie or that my dick enjoyed watching guys getting it on. But what the fuck? How could I go twenty-one years without realizing that guys can get me hot?”
Lingerie? What kind of porn had he watched? Shaking my head, I focused on the fact that he was confused and not on the dozens of images of him jerking off swirling in my head.
“Does the thought of doing that stuff with a guy turn you on?” I projected as much calm as I could into my voice so he didn’t get even more worked up and shut down.
“Sort of. Yes? I don’t know.” He raked a hand through his hair. “The idea of it is hot, but the thought of going out and picking up a guy isn’t. What if I don’t like it? What if I’m so nervous I can’t get hard? What if he starts and I have to stop things? What if I’m bad or I mess up? There’s just so much pressure.” He groaned and slumped forward, his head in his hands.
I put my hand on his knee and squeezed. “It’s normal to be confused. I’d be thinking the same things as you if I suddenly woke up and wondered what it would feel like to mess around with a girl.”
He parted the fingers of one hand and peeked at me. “I’m so confused,” he whispered.
“I get it.” I rubbed his thigh. “What do you need from me?”
He dropped his hands and stared at my mouth.
Fuck.
I’d meant the question to mean what role he needed me to fall into. Did he want advice, someone to listen, or was this one of those situations where he wanted to talk things out?
“Do you think I’m hot?”
My jaw dropped, and blood rushed south. “What?” I croaked.
“Do you think I’m hot?” He licked his bottom lip.
I cleared my throat. “Um, yeah.”
“That kiss. Did it turn you on?”
What the fuck should I say to that? Yeah, it was the best kiss of my life, and I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since it happened.
“It did,” I managed, my throat tight and my mouth dry.
He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip and dropped his eyes to my lap. My sweats did nothing to hide my dick tenting the thin material.
He pressed the heel of his hand against his cock as it did the same.
What the actual fuck was happening?
“Do you maybe want to do more?” he asked breathlessly.
Warning bells went off in the tiny part of my brain that was still thinking logically. This was Matt. My best friend. I wanted to touch him more than I wanted my next breath, but this was a dangerous line we were skirting.
What if this fucked up our friendship? What if we couldn’t come back from this? Was it worth the risk?
“Jax.” He pushed his knee against mine, his eyes glazing over. “You’re the only guy I can imagine doing any of the things I’ve been thinking about with.”
Fuck. I was going to do it. I was going to cross the line I’d sworn I’d never cross and touch my best friend.
“What do you want?” I asked, my voice cracking on the last word pathetically.
“I just want to know if it feels as good as I think it will.”
“If what will feel good?”
“Touching you. You touching me.”
He angled his body toward mine, and adrenaline poured into my system.
“I don’t want this to mess up our friendship,” I said in a rush.
“It won’t. We’re rock solid.” The corner of his mouth tilted in a smile. “You want me. I want you. Why not go with it?”
“We need to set boundaries,” I said hoarsely. “I need to know exactly what you want me to do.”
“I want…” He dropped his eyes to my lips. “Your mouth.”
Holy fucking shit. My best friend was asking me to blow him.
I swallowed hard and forced myself to stay in my seat and not dive between his legs. “You want me to suck you?”
He nodded, a blush high on his cheekbones.
I slid off the couch and shoved the coffee table back with one hand, then pushed his knees apart and settled between them. His breathing hitched. “Promise me you’ll stop this if you don’t like it or if it’s weird.”
He nodded.
“Say it.”
“I promise,” he rasped, his eyes locked on mine.
I licked my dry lips and rubbed my palm over his bulge. He was hot and hard, and my entire body clenched when he let out the softest moan.
I kept looking at him, searching for any sign he was uncomfortable. My cock was rock hard, my balls tight and aching.
Matt leaned back against the couch and pushed his hips up, forcing his dick into my hand.
I gripped it through the material of his sweats and bit back a groan. Fuck, he was thick.
“Jax,” he whispered.
“Relax.” I stroked my hand up and down his length. “I’ve got you.”
He sighed. A surge of desire tore through me, so strong it nearly stole my breath. He was beautiful, fucking beautiful. And at that moment, he was all mine.
I lowered my head and dragged my tongue over the material of his sweats, teasing his shaft, then dropped an open-mouthed kiss on his tip.
“Fuck,” he whispered. His hips twitched like he was stopping himself from bucking up into my mouth.
I sucked on the head for a few seconds, my eyes glued on his face. His expression shifted from arousal to wonder.
“Feel good?” I rasped.
He nodded.
“You want more?”
He swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
“Lift your hips.”
I gripped the waistband of his pants and tugged them down as he obeyed.
I’d always liked it when my partners let me take the lead, but most of the guys I’d hooked up with had been as dominant as I was. Matt was the perfect combination of needy and pliant, and I had to remind myself that this was nothing more than an experiment. A way for him to figure out if he was bi-curious or whatever.
His cock was perfect. Thick and long with a sexy vein running down the length and a flared head that made my mouth water. Precum bubbled up from his slit, and his balls were full and round.
He didn’t have a lot of hair outside of the thatch at the base of his dick. Was that because he manscaped or because he was blond? His thick thighs were dusted with white-blond hair. I sifted my fingers through the soft strands and gently cupped his balls with my other hand.
“Jax,” he whined softly.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” I bounced those perfect balls with the tips of my fingers and trailed my other hand over his inner thigh. “Just relax and let me make you feel good.”
He lifted one hand, paused in midair, then dropped it back to his side.
“You can hold my hair if you want.” I loosely circled his shaft. “I like it.”
“Fuck.” He let out a panting breath and slid his fingers through my hair.
Holy goddamn fucking shit.
My best friend was not only letting me touch him, but he was enjoying it too. What universe was this?
Clearing every thought from my mind, I lowered my mouth and sucked his weeping cockhead between my lips. I drew him as far down my throat as I could, past the point that was comfortable.
“Fuck!” His other hand fisted my hair.
I’d never been one for deepthroating, but I was feeling greedy. I wanted to not only blow his mind but also to forever brand the sensation of my mouth on his cock into his consciousness. So it was my face he’d see when he closed his eyes and touched himself.
“Jax,” he panted.
I swallowed around his cockhead, then pulled off him. His grip on my hair was so tight it hurt, but I welcomed the sting. It stopped me from blowing in my pants like some newb.
I let some spit fall from my mouth and dribble down his shaft, getting him nice and slick. Flicking my gaze to his, I ran the flat of my tongue over the underside of his length.
His eyes were wide and glazed, his mouth slack, and his cheeks pink as he stared at me. I dipped my tongue into his slit, then slid it down and licked the seam of his sac.
“Fuck.” He gritted out. “I’m… it’s too good.”
I gripped his balls in one hand, holding them loosely and away from his body, then swallowed his cock.
This time I gave up all pretenses of teasing and bobbed over him, hollowing my cheeks as I sucked him hard and fast.
He let out a bellow of pleasure and snapped his hips up. The head of his cock bumped the back of my throat, and I choked.
“Fuck, sorry.” His hands loosened in my hair.
“It’s fine. Fuck my face. I like it rough.”
His groan was loud and pained. He grabbed my hair and drove his perfect dick deep down my throat.
Now that I was prepared for it, I relaxed and let him face fuck me, sucking as hard as I could and squeezing his sac.
His gasps and groans and bitten-off words echoing in the silent room were the most beautiful sounds I’d ever heard. I ran my tongue over his shaft, swallowing the steady stream of precum leaking from his tip.
“Jax, I’m gonna—” He pulled my face down.
I sucked hard and looked at him. His eyes were glassy and bright. His lips were parted, and his chest heaved as he stared at me, his expression an intoxicating mix of aroused and incredulous.
I swallowed around his cockhead. His length pulsed in my mouth, his thighs squeezed my shoulders, and he was coming, shooting down my throat, and I swallowed every drop.
His cries went straight to my aching dick, and I steeled myself as I sucked him through his release.
He hissed, and I slowly drew off him, never taking my eyes off his face.
“Jax,” he panted. “Holy… fuck. I… Jesus.”
I pressed my hand against my cock and sat back on my heels. “I need to come too,” I gritted out and shoved my hand into my sweats.
“Can I…” He reached toward me.
“You want to jerk me off?”
He nodded, his eyes blazing.
I let go of my dick and stood in front of him.
Matt reached into my sweats and gripped my shaft with his big, hot hand.
“You’re huge.” He stroked me once, twice.
“About the same size as you,” I choked out.
“Let me see it.”
I shoved my sweats down so they sat under my ass. He gave me a long, firm stroke.
“Fuck, that’s it. Just like that.” I grunted. He sped up, his grip tight and perfect.
I focused on a point on the far wall, my thighs tense, and steeled myself against my orgasm.
I’d wanted this for so long but had never allowed myself to think about it, to even hope it could happen. Now that it was, I didn’t want it to end.
What if this was the only time we did this? That would be the smart thing. Obviously, Matt could get off with a guy’s mouth around him, and he wasn’t grossed out by my cock. The experiment was a success. We needed to pull the plug and go back to being besties who didn’t play with each other’s dicks. Otherwise, we might fuck our friendship up even more than we already had.
The swipe of something wet and hot on my tip startled me. I jerked my hips and looked down. Matt was licking his lips, his expression curious.
Had he just tasted me?
His eyes flicked to mine, and the hungry look in them was my undoing.
I pulled out of his hand, grabbed my shaft, angled my dick down, and stroked fast.
A full-body shudder ripped through me, and my legs shook hard enough that I wobbled on my feet. My entire being zeroed in on my best friend, who stared at my dick in rapt fascination.
“Fuck.” I shot hard and used my other hand to catch my cum.
Matt slapped my hand away, and the next spurt landed on his shoulder. As the last rope hit him in the chest, he didn’t even blink.
“Holy shit.” I stepped back and sank down on the coffee table, the wood cold under my bare ass.
“That was hot.” Matt licked his lips and glanced down at his lap.
He was half-hard.
“Holy shit,” I mumbled again and wiped my cum-covered palm on my shirt.
He lifted his eyes to mine. Neither of us moved as if we were caught in a sort of feedback loop of sensory overload and confusion. At least that was what went on inside me. Matt’s eyes were eerily blank, but the panic and fear I’d expected were absent.
Was he okay with what had happened? Was this the calm before the shit storm that would end the best friendship I’d ever had?
“I want to come again.”
I blinked as his words knocked me out of my head. He dropped his eyes to my spent dick, which gave a little twitch under his attention, and stroked himself.
Fuck. That.
I fell to my knees and swallowed him down. Logically, I knew I should have asked his permission. Him letting me blow him once wasn’t an open invitation.
I went to pull off, angry at myself for jumping my best friend, but he grabbed the back of my head and shoved my face down.
“That’s it.” He held my hair and rolled his hips. “Make me nice and hard for you. Make me come again, Jax.”
Holy shit, his dirty talk was going to kill me, and the use of my name meant he was fully present. That was almost as hot as him pushing his dick down my throat.
I pulled off him and sat back on my heels. “Fuck my face.”
A wicked grin slid over his perfect lips as he stood, his legs wide and his dick shining and so damn hard. He thrust his hips forward and slid his cock into my waiting mouth.
I held on to his thighs, more to ground myself than to guide him, and let him go to town on me.
Gone was the shy, pliant guy who’d sat there and let me work him over. His eyes blazed, his grip on my hair was so tight it hurt, and his hips snapped hard and fast.
If anyone else had done this to me, I would have pulled the plug. I liked it rough, but I didn’t let guys have this kind of control over me or force me to take them deep.
But this was Matt, and seeing this side of him, feeling not only his desire but also knowing it was because of me, that I’d done this, was so fucking heady I sank into the sensations and stared up at him, committing every second to memory.
“You look so fucking hot down there.” Matt grunted and pulled out of my mouth, his cock hard and red and slick. “Feel so good.”
I dragged my tongue over his slit and lapped up his precum.
He groaned and pumped his big hand over his shaft. “Can I come on your face?”
“Yeah.” I gripped my cock, which was hard and leaking again.
I wasn’t a fan of facials, but there was literally nothing Matt could ask for that I wouldn’t give him.
He stroked his dick. “Come at the same time as me? I want to see you come again.”
“I’ll try to hold out.” I choked out a laugh. “I’m close.”
“Me too.” He licked his lips and flicked his gaze between my face and my hand.
I timed my strokes with his. Our breaths came out in ragged pants as we jerked off together. I desperately wanted to touch him, to be the one to get him off, but watching him pleasure himself above me was so damn sexy I knew I’d be replaying it in my fantasies for years.
“I’m coming.” He angled his dick down.
I closed my eyes and opened my mouth.
Matt cried out, and ropes of his hot cum splashed down on me. Most landed in my mouth, but some fell on my cheek and one eyelid.
His taste, so salty and perfect, exploded on my tongue, and I was done.
I came hard, grunting and shaking as I swallowed.
A hot hand ran over my cheek, then swiped over my eyelid. The movement was sweet and soft. I looked up. Matt was smiling down at me.
“I’m definitely into dicks.”
He flopped down on the couch, his cock still out and a satisfied glow about him. He grabbed my arm and yanked me so I fell next to him, my chest hitting his shoulder hard enough to push the air from my lungs.
He laughed, and I flipped so I was on my ass and not faceplanted on the back of the couch.
“So you like dicks?” I asked, my entire body buzzing from the afterglow.
“I like yours.” He patted my leg. “I got some in your hair. Sorry.”
“It happens.” I sighed and looked down at my shirt, then at his. “We’re a mess.”
“Want to take a shower? I’ll find us some clothes to change into.”
“Yeah.” I grabbed his thigh. “Are we cool?”
He shot me a lazy grin. “Definitely.”
We stood and tucked ourselves away. A niggle of unease penetrated my happy glow. Had this been a mistake? He might be fine now, but what would happen in a few hours or a few days? Had we just ruined our friendship?
I followed him upstairs, my eyes on his ass. He didn’t have the typical flat and square ass most ball players did. It wasn’t big and bouncy, but it was firm and round.
Nope. Not going there. This had been a one-time thing. A chance for my straight bestie to figure out if he could get off with a guy. I was his safe gay buddy, nothing more.
