I headed up the walkway to the house.
It was Friday afternoon, and Finn and I were leaving for our weekend away in a few hours.
I’d told Alex about our plans, and he’d offered to lend us his car, saying he didn’t need it this weekend.
Finn had told Anna we were going, but no one else knew.
That didn’t feel right anymore.
Two nights ago, I’d held Finn in my arms and told him I loved him.
Then we’d gone right back to hiding from everyone except our best friends.
When I stepped into the living room, I nearly ran into Matt.
“Hey, roomie.” He had a plate with three sandwiches in one hand and a tall glass of milk in the other.
“Hey.”
“What’s up?” He settled on the loveseat.
“I need to tell you something.”
My mouth went dry. This was harder than I’d thought it would be.
“What’s going on?” He put down his sandwich and gave me his full attention.
“It’s about Finn.”
“Did you guys break up?”
“What?” I croaked. “How did you…”
“You guys aren’t exactly quiet.” He grinned. “Is everything okay between you?”
“Yeah.” I shook my head as if to clear it. “I was just going to tell you about us and that we’re going to the city this weekend.”
“Have fun. Maybe invest in a white noise maker? There’s only so much my noise-canceling headphones can do.”
My face heated. Thank god Finn wasn’t here to hear this.
He was already self-conscious about how loud he could get. He didn’t need to know that our roommates could hear him, even when we tried to be quiet.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
I made a mental note to pick up my white noise machine when we were in town.
As Matt went back to his lunch, I left the room and bumped into Eli, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs with a smirk on his impossibly pretty face.
“I already knew too.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You know that little vent near your window?”
Uh-oh.
“That leads to one on my floor. You didn’t close your end, so let’s just say I’ve been treated to the show a few times. Especially Wednesday night.”
My jaw dropped.
He patted my shoulder. “Thanks for the orgasms. You two are hot together.”
My jaw was right on the floor now.
Eli was into guys having sex? Was he part of the rainbow too?
A ripple of heat shot through my chest. The knowledge he’d jerked off while listening to us was beyond hot, and I couldn’t wait to tell Finn.
Shaking my head, I hurried up to my room.
All our roommates knew, and none of them gave a shit.
I needed to call my parents. I was a jackass for not telling them sooner. I settled on the bed and pulled out my phone.
Mom answered after only four rings.
“Hi, sweetie. Let me call your dad.” She angled the phone so I was looking at the ceiling. “Lance! Beck’s on the line!” she hollered.
I bit back a laugh. She still hadn’t figured out that the microphone worked the same, regardless of the camera angle.
A moment later, my dad appeared beside her.
“Hello, son,” he greeted in his stoic way.
“How are you?” Mom asked before I could say hi back. “Are you calling to tell me when you’re coming home for Thanksgiving?”
“Actually, I have some news.”
“What is it?”
“I’m not coming home for Thanksgiving.”
She tilted her head but didn’t interrupt.
“I’m going with my boyfriend to meet his brother.”
Mom blinked. I could practically see the wheels turning as she processed what I’d said.
As the seconds ticked by, my chest tightened. Then she gave me a pointed look. “And when do we get to meet this boyfriend?”
More of that weight lifted from my shoulders at the seamless way she’d accepted my news.
“We’re actually going to be in town this weekend. I thought we could stop by on Sunday before we head back to school.”
She smiled. “We’d love that. Do you want to do a family gathering or just us this time?”
“Just you guys. Finn’s not great with crowds, and meeting new people is hard for him.”
“Say no more. You can tell your sisters when you’re ready, but we’d love to have you over. Right, honey?” She elbowed my dad.
“Of course,” he said gruffly. “Is he a nice boy?”
“He is.” The last of my fear melted away.
“Where did you meet?” Mom asked.
“He’s actually one of my roommates. He’s studying physics. He wants to be an astronomer.”
Mom beamed. “He sounds lovely.”
“He is. I… I love him.”
My voice cracked embarrassingly.
My parents had reacted exactly how I’d thought they would, and a little more of my walls came crumbling down as Mom leaned closer to Dad, her eyes filled with soft affection.
“I’m happy for you, Beck. But, sweetie, how long have you been keeping this in?”
“A while.” I sighed. “It took me a long time to admit it to myself, but I’ve always known deep down.”
She nodded.
“You’re not surprised?” I asked, my voice small.
“We had questions when you were younger,” she said.
“Really?”
“You barely left your room for weeks when Michael and Daisy started dating,” Dad said. Wow, it wasn’t often when Dad talked, but when he did, he was always spot on. “You were heartbroken, and we wondered if maybe you felt things for him but weren’t ready to tell us.”
“I did, and I wasn’t. I wasn’t ready to tell myself.”
“We’re just happy that you’re happy,” Mom said. “And we love you no matter what. You’re always going to be my baby. Nothing could ever change that.”
“Thanks,” I said thickly. “I love you guys.”
“We love you too.”
I ended the call and let out a deep breath.
It was strange, but the more people I told, the easier it was.
One more to go. I opened my texts and tapped Mike’s name.
Beck: are you around this weekend? I’ll be in town, and I have some news
My phone pinged a moment later. I would have expected him to be at work.
Mike: we’re taking the ferry to Victoria tomorrow morning
My heart fell. Daisy had family in Canada, so they took the ferry over a few times a year.
Mike: are you coming in tonight? You’re welcome to come over
Beck: I am. When’s good for you?
Mike: around 8? Jace should be in bed by then
Beck: I’ll see you then
He didn’t answer, and I tossed my phone aside. My stomach clenched. Tonight I’d tell my best friend.
When Finn came into my room, his duffle bag in one hand, I was still freaking out.
“I just had the weirdest interaction with Eli.” He dropped his bag, flopped down on the bed, and laid his head in my lap. “He winked and said thanks as I passed him on the stairs.”
“Yeah, about that.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “He and Matt know.”
He stilled. “Did you tell them?”
“I did, but they already knew.” I pointed to the vent. “Apparently, I need to close that to make my room soundproof from Eli’s. And Matt’s more observant than I thought.”
I could see the wheels turning in his head. “So that thanks was…”
“Let’s just say he’s enjoyed listening to us.”
Finn’s face went red. “I’m both mortified and aroused. It’s a confusing place to be.”
I laughed and smoothed his hair. “I was right there too when he told me.”
“And Matt knows too?”
“He does. And so do my parents.”
He sat up. “You told them?”
“Yeah. I thought we could stop by their place before we head back on Sunday. They’re excited to meet you.”
He swallowed, his eyes shimmering. “I’d like that.”
“I’ll tell my sisters later.” An idea came to me. “Here, come sit with me so we can take a selfie.”
We leaned together, our smiles bright, as I held up my phone and took the picture. “There. I’ll drop this and a quick ‘I have a boyfriend’ message in the group chat before the game. Then I can ignore them while they do whatever they’re going to do.”
“Do you think they’ll have a problem with it?”
“No. They’ll probably be shocked, or maybe not. No one else seems to be. But none of them will care. They’ll just smother me with sister love and support and tease me mercilessly.”
“Dex and I are boring compared to you guys.”
“They can be crazy, but they’re good people.”
“I’m not meeting them this weekend, am I?” His expression shifted to one of panic.
“No, we’ll save that for another time. But I texted Mike. Can we stop by his place tonight after dinner?”
“Sure.”
“You’ll have to wait in the car—”
As much as I wanted my boyfriend to meet my best friend, I needed to tell him about us first.
“That’s fine.” He leaned in and kissed me. “I’ve got the stars to keep me company.”
“You’re amazing. You know that, right?”
“I know.” He grinned and kissed me again. “Ready to go? Check-in is at three, and I want to have some fun before we do the tourist thing.”
He jumped off the bed, a huge grin on his face.
I couldn’t wait for that either.
“You good?” Finn squeezed my hand as we sat in front of Mike and Daisy’s house.
They lived in an area that had been gentrified, and rows of modern townhouses lined the streets. Both Mike and Daisy came from money, and the cushy job Mike had at Daisy’s father’s company paid well, considering he’d started right out of high school.
“Yeah. Are you sure you don’t mind waiting out here?”
“I’ve got the stars and my phone if I get bored.” He patted the fleece blanket I’d stashed in the car for him. It was November, and it got cold at night. “I’ll be fine as long as you don’t leave me out here for hours.”
“I won’t.” I leaned in and kissed him, not caring that anyone could see us. “I’ll tell him right away, and we’ll see how that goes.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “I know how important to you he is.”
“I do. I’m tired of hiding. I need to tell him in person. It wouldn’t be fair to him if he learned it from someone else.”
He lifted my hand and pressed a kiss on my palm. “Good luck.”
I kissed him one more time, then screwed up the last of my courage and climbed out of the car.
The icy wind ruffled my hair, and I tugged my jacket tighter around me. I knocked on the door, not wanting to wake the baby by ringing the bell.
“Hi.” Daisy pulled open the door.
“Hi.”
She ushered me in. I kicked off my shoes—Daisy didn’t like people wearing them in her house—shrugged off my jacket, and put it on one of the hooks near the door.
She opened her arms for a hug. Mike stepped into the hallway, a big smile on his face, and held his hand out for a hearty shake.
“It’s good to see you.” He motioned me into the living room. “Do you want something to drink?”
“I’m fine. I just came from dinner.” I settled on their easy chair as they sat together on the loveseat.
Their house was neat and stylish but lived in. Baby gear and baskets of toys littered the room.
“How have you been?” Mike asked, looping his arm around Daisy’s shoulders.
My eyes drifted to the picture of Jesus on their mantle, right smack in the middle of their family snapshots.
“Good. I’ve been good. What about you?”
Daisy launched into a story about Jace and his latest milestone. I listened politely, interjecting one-word answers when appropriate, even as my mind spun.
“How’s school?” Mike asked.
“Good. I actually have some news.”
“Right, you mentioned that. What’s going on?”
“I’m dating someone.”
Daisy beamed and clapped her hands. “That’s wonderful! She must be a special girl to tie down Beck Andrews.”
I smiled weakly.
I’d never introduced them to a girlfriend after I’d started college. Mostly because I’d never had one serious enough to want to bring home. As far as they knew, I played the field and had been single since we graduated.
“Next time you two are in town, we should do a double date.” Daisy turned to Mike. “What do you think, honey? We’ll get a babysitter and make a whole thing of it.”
Mike was studying me, his familiar gaze scrutinizing.
“What aren’t you telling us?” He ignored Daisy’s question.
This was the moment of truth. I couldn’t put it off any longer.
“My boyfriend’s name is Finn.”
The silence was so heavy it pressed down on us. Mike and Daisy gazed at me as if I had grown two heads.
“You’re… gay?” Daisy asked.
“No, not gay. I’m bisexual.”
My hands ached, and I looked down. Without realizing it, I’d been gripping the edge of the chair cushion so tight my knuckles were white.
I eased my hold and met their stare head on.
“I know it’s a lot, and I shouldn’t have just sprung it on you like this. I wanted to tell you before we went public. I’ve only told my parents and a few people at school.”
I snapped my mouth closed.
Stop babbling, you idiot.
“It’s serious with him?” Mike’s expression was eerily blank.
My heart dropped into my stomach. I knew that look.
I’d just torpedoed my oldest friendship.
“It is. I’m in love with him.”
“How long have you known?”
“That I like guys?” I swallowed hard. “I only figured it out when I met Finn.”
“You had no idea before him?” Daisy asked.
“I… I sort of did. I think I’ve always known deep down, but I didn’t know for sure until him.”
They weren’t screaming or yelling or condemning me to hell, so that was good. But their reactions still weren’t great.
I had no idea what either was thinking.
“I’m sorry,” Mike said.
“What? Why?”
“Because it’s obvious coming here wasn’t easy for you. I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me this.”
I gaped at him.
He glanced at Daisy. “I know we’ve drifted apart, and it’s my fault, but you’re still my best friend. If you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.”
“I am happy. Really happy.”
Mike stood and crossed the room, his arms wide.
I jumped up and fell into his embrace, clinging to him as all the fear and pain and turmoil leaked out of me, leaving behind exhaustion.
He held me tight, and when we finally broke apart, his eyes were wet. “I just want you to have everything you want, Beck.”
“I do.” I cleared my throat. “For the first time in my life, I do.”
He clapped my shoulder and went to sit back down.
Daisy launched herself into my arms. I had to take a half step back so we didn’t fall over.
I hugged her back, and when she pulled away, she was smiling. “Can we still do a double date next time you’re both in town?”
“I’d like that.” God, this had gone so much better than I’d expected.
“Can you stay, or do you need to go?” she asked.
“I should go. Finn and I have plans.”
“Will you be home at Thanksgiving?” Daisy asked as they walked me to the door.
“No. I’m going with Finn to visit his brother. But we’ll be back before Christmas.”
“Give us a heads-up when you do so we can get a sitter.”
“I will.”
I put on my shoes and jacket, then said my good-byes.
In a daze, I slid into the car, where Finn sat huddled in the blanket.
“Everything okay?” he asked, his worried eyes tracing over my face.
“It is. I told them, and it was fine.”
He blew out a breath. “Thank fuck. I was so scared for you.”
“Me too.” A high-pitched hysterical laugh bubbled out of me. “That was an emotional roller coaster.”
“I imagine.” He brushed his cool fingers against my cheek. “So, where to now, Mr. Tour Guide?”
“I thought we could go dancing.”
His eyes lit up. “Yeah?”
“Yup. We’re in the city. We have lots of options if we want to get our dance on.”
“Any of these places have dark corners and tables with long tablecloths?”
I groaned as his fantasy came back to me in a rush. “Not sure. We’ll have to do some Googling.” I started the car and put it in Drive.
Finn pulled out his phone and tapped on the screen.
Even if we did find a club like that, we probably wouldn’t actually have sex out in the open. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t find some stealth ways to get each other off.
My chest warmed with love and affection. By tomorrow, the important people in my life would all know my secret, and the world hadn’t imploded. I wasn’t dumb enough to think that everyone would be cool with me having a boyfriend, but I found it hard to care.
So what if a bunch of guys I barely spoke to and had little in common with now that we no longer played hockey together cut me off for being bi?
If someone couldn’t accept my sexuality, then they weren’t worth having in my life.
Finn was my everything. And I couldn’t wait to see what the future held in store for us.
