“Are you kidding me? So you do have a castle!”
I blinked twice, taking in the view of the Clemonte estate: a stone chateau with a large expanse of garden lost in the countryside. Undoubtedly something that belonged to the historical heritage. The pictures I’d found on Google Maps didn’t do it justice.
“And it looks like my father invited all of his colleagues.” Ajax readjusted his suit, eyeing the guests. All the men were dressed in elegant dress shirts, probably in their fifties. As for their wives, they were either wearing suits or square and formal dresses. Beside them, I looked like a marshmallow or a psychopathic cheerleader. “It’s not my brother’s big day; it’s Léon’s. Again.”
I dug out my phone and turned it into a selfie position. “Come here, let’s take a selfie. It’s just for my sister.”
He frowned dubiously. “A selfie?”
“Yes, that thing people do when they have fun and make memories, you know? Okay, get ready. One. Two—” I snapped the picture with a frigid, nonsmiling Ajax and sent it to my sister. “It looks like it’s your first selfie.”
Me: Look where I am!!! (Yes, he’s the one I went to the gala with, his name is Ajax, and it’s kinda his castle).
“Perhaps it is.” Ajax seemed somehow worried. “What did your sister say?”
Luna: Wow, did you pull him out from one of your novels?? By the way, there is an angry-looking old man in the back.
“She said there is an angry-looking old man.” I tried to zoom in on the picture, seeing if I could photoshop that man away.
“She thinks I look like an angry-looking old man?” His frown deepened.
“Not you, but—”
“It’s not a tourist attraction here.” The angry old man in question faced us.
“That’s him,” I whispered to Ajax, seizing his arm under the gunning stare of the man otherwise known as Ajax’s dad, Léon—thanks to my prior stalking research.
Here I thought they’d greet each other, but Léon decided to turn away to continue his conversation with his guests.
I swallowed the cold shower we just took. “Did he just ignore us?”
“That’s Léon, trying to make an impression.”
“You came.” Archibald, dressed in a beige suit, gave a nod to his brother. “I can’t believe I will have to work with those pricks. I can’t stand them.” He then turned to me with a sharp smile, halfway between Ajax’s scowl and that of a lawyer who would annihilate you in a case. “Today is like a wedding day for the Clemontes. My marriage with medicine.”
I laughed. “Sounds quite atrocious to me, but hey, congratulations. May you and your wife change the world.”
“Thank you, Aurore. I bet you’re the one who convinced my brother to bring his ass up here.”
“I’m more of the reason why we’re late,” I admitted.
“And you look totally not fitting with the scenery here, which I like very much. Imagine Father’s face when—”
My eyes opened wide as Ajax cut in, “Where is Mom?”
“Léon asked her to change into another type of outfit, one much more fitting than… pajamas. Someone is helping her.”
“Ajax?” a frail voice echoed from behind us. It was coming from the woman standing by the door. “You’re here.”
His mother. She had the brightest smile, with light makeup and family jewels on that made her look elegant like an aristocrat or some royal family member, her hair delicately put into a bun.
“Mom, it’s nice to see you,” Ajax said when his mother went to take his hands. I stepped away, ready to give them some space, but he introduced me. “This is Aurore. She writes about romance, like those books you love reading.”
She turned to face me and analyzed me with a kind expression that proved that fairy-tale mothers-in-law couldn’t all be evil, and—Mothers-in-law? He’s not my boyfriend. Ajax is not my—
“You’re so lovely, and your dress… You seem familiar.” She had seen my alias, The Sad Girl. “Oh, I’m so happy to finally meet Ajax’s girlfriend.”
Girlfriend? Oh god!
“None of my boys ever introduced me to anyone before, and I prayed to god to have a daughter one day and—I hope I’m not scaring you.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m the one who usually talks too much, and you look radiant, Mrs. Clemonte.”
“Call me Hélène, dear. And Ajax—” This time, she faced her son. “I want to know everything.”
Neither he nor I dared to say anything about me not being his girlfriend.
“Ajax.” That voice froze everyone in place, coming from behind me like a dark, monstrous aura. “I had to greet some guests.”
I tried to shorten myself, getting away from the shadow by mincing my way up to Ajax’s side. Léon was back with closed-up features, gray hair, and a square face. A physique that screamed of rigidity and left no place for imperfection.
“Léon,” Ajax hissed, his stare darting to his father. “Always busy.”
Hélène’s arm wrapped around Léon’s back in a way that betrayed the fact she was probably still in love with her husband. “That beautiful lady next to him, it’s Ajax’s girlfriend.”
He didn’t spare me a glance nor take the hand I was handing him to seize. I had no choice then but to pretend to readjust my hair awkwardly.
Hélène didn’t give up, and she graced me with a genuine smile. “Let’s go inside, dear. I’ll show you the place.”
“Hélène, I don’t think it’s wise to—”
“I know I’m sick, Léon, but that’s no reason to treat me like an incapable person. Let me be the mother-in-law. It’s a wedding day.”
Wedding day? My eyes drifted to Ajax, feeling terrible that they’d fight over me, but his stare remained locked on his father.
“Mom, we’re celebrating my upcoming career, not my wedding day,” Archi corrected with kindness.
“No, silly. It’s a wedding.” She put a hand on his shoulder and chuckled, her Alzheimer’s messing with her memories. “Come now, Aurora.”
I followed after her, leaving the Clemonte men together by entering the castle, or more like the den of medicine with renaissance paintings of medical implications. For someone who seemed to dislike art, he sure had a lot of it to accompany the tapestry and wooden furniture.
“I read a lot of erotica during my youth.” She chuckled again, and something told me I’d love that woman. “We need creativity in this world. My Ajax was very good with pencils as a child. Very talented. I think it helped him. He was so shy. Always alone.”
“Ajax was shy?” So he’d had it since childhood, his aloof attitude. Through the open door, I noticed that strange man in question, still conversing with his father. His jaw was rigid, and something in my heart tightened despite myself.
“My son was always in his own world, and he shielded everyone else from it. It’s like we never existed. I knew he cared, but he was… well, distant.”
I remembered when I used to create a fantasy world where I was the queen with a unicorn ghost for my best friend before the birth of my sister. “I can relate to that.”
“Of course, you do. That’s why you’re together.” Her smile faded, her expression growing serious. “Tell me, do you care for Ajax? He has a lot to give and a big heart, but he doesn’t know how to open himself sometimes.”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t loathe him, or at least, it felt wrong to. “I—To be honest, I hated your son at first.” Here we go. Not the answer she was expecting. “He was rude and used to stare at me as if I was crazy, but with time, I’ve gotten to know him. He’s quite…” Ajax and I locked gazes from afar, and it made me feel peaceful, secure. “He’s caring and somehow different from the other men I’ve met. Your son actually inspires me.”
“Blooming love is priceless.”
Blooming what? No. No. No.
“I’m not sure I’ll remember any of that, as he probably told you about my condition, but I want you to know that I’m so happy he finally found someone to share his lonely life with. He needs to heal, and by the way he’s looking at you, I know I don’t have to worry anymore. I—” She furrowed her brows, rubbing a hand on her forehead. “What’s that word again?”
Her phone rang, and I remained speechless. Never in my life had I been accepted for who I truly was. She trusted me while I felt like a fraud.
“Oh crap, I forgot to take my pill,” she said, and I peered at her phone, where she had a lot of alerts to take a pill, to drink or eat. “I’m sorry. I—what’s your name again?”
“Aurore.” My lips curled up. “I’m with your son.”
“Aurore, like the aurora borealis. I don’t remember if I ever saw one, but it had always been my dream.” She observed me. “And I see you today. Archibald is lucky to have you.”
“Archibald?”
She insisted with a beaming smile. “Yes, my son. He’s here today.”
My heart broke into tiny pieces as I muttered, “I’m here with Ajax.”
“Ajax? I haven’t seen him for such a long time. I don’t think he’ll come.”
Ajax slipped to my side in a flash. “I’m here, Mom. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Oh, Ajax!” His mother exclaimed, hugging him as if she hadn’t seen him in forever. “You’re sleeping here, aren’t you? I have the room ready for you and Aurore and—”
“We can’t, I’m sorry,” Ajax cut her off, clenching his jaw. “Léon will not approve.”
“I see. At least I got to meet her. We will remember this moment.” She maintained a smile, but I could sense she was pained to not have her son longer. “You should show your old bedroom to her before dinner.”
“Very well, then.”
Hélène headed in the direction of the kitchen, whispering things to herself as I noticed a wheelchair placed in the corner. Did it belong to his mother? I called after her, “Your alarms on your phone rang. You have a pill to take.”
“Oh, right! Thank you.” She smiled, but her gaze had changed. She seemed lost, as if she was physically present but mentally absent.
I ignored the slam in my gut, and we prowled up the wooden stairs leading to the rooms. In the middle of the hallway, there was a door to a room open where a big board was standing up, displaying a family tree with the names of each member of their family. It was probably a memory exercise for his mom. An exercise where Ajax’s name was scratched from it.
“Your mom is lovely. It just breaks my heart to see this happening to her,” I confided in him. “She told me a bit about how you were as a kid, and I have to admit, I’m not surprised. I bet you were all cute being your aloof self.”
Cute? Did I just say cute? Hand me a shovel to dig my grave right now.
“I was weak.” Ajax’s mask was on again, probably because of the talk he’d had with his father. This was how he’d built an armor of coldness around him so he wouldn’t be that happy kid his father despised. “I know you didn’t ask to be here. I’m sure you had other plans.”
“You’d be surprised that I didn’t. Except for working and ignoring the constant emails from daddykink telling me to rush at three in the morning,” I snorted and realized I’d never mentioned his name out loud. “Daddykink is the name of my boss. Anyway, I’m happy to be here.”
Ajax wrenched the door open next to him with a lack of excitement. “That’s the room.”
I stepped in. It was pretty basic, certainly not what I was expecting from a child’s bedroom. It had sports trophies and medals from science contests, but aside from that, the decorations were nonexistent in the midst of the boring display of gray.
“Your old bedroom is no fun. Mine used to have star stickers on the ceiling and a lavender wall because it’s my favorite color.” His was probably classy and unsmiling black. “I was expecting something with pirates, maybe superheroes or awkward posters.”
But the room had a private bathroom attached. It was another type of fancy. I sat on the bed, and Ajax took a seat on the sofa, as if he couldn’t stand to stay in the same room as me.
“So, you didn’t bring any women back, then, as a teen?” I leaned on the bed, stretching my arms.
“No, I didn’t. You’re the first in my bed.”
I jerked up, almost choking on my breath. “But you did it before, right? Unless you’re a—”
I couldn’t say the word virgin.
His lips quirked up slightly. “I’ve had sex before, Aurore.”
“Right, of course.” And now I was embarrassed again.
“Was that an invitation?”
“In your dreams.” And in mine. “I could sleep next to you in that bed, and nothing would ever happen.”
“Because I’d take the ridiculous couch and let you have the bed, is that right?” He entered my game.
“Not quite. Let’s say if you were to try anything, I’d have to throw a punch,” I joked to hide my nervousness at the thought. Especially since Ajax was big and the bed was minimal. Sharing a bed with him and feeling his body underneath mine would—
“If you say so, Aurore, but I sleep shirtless.”
I gulped. “If you think that scares me, you’re delusional. I can sleep shirtless too, and we’ll see which one of us will—”
His eyes lit up. “I would like that very much.”
I threw a pillow at him. “Jerk.”
He threw it back at me with minimum strength. “Quitter.”
I opened my jaw, pretending to be offended. “Oh, I’m gonna annihilate you, Ajax Clemonte. Get ready to be smashed in a pillow fight!”
I rushed at him like a rugby player with a ruffled dress in the middle of a scrum. And that’s how Spectre the Untouchable destroyed me at the pillow fight. We made a racket, chasing each other around the room with my high-pitched cries. My bow dangled in my locks of hair, and I collapsed on his bed, Ajax caging me under him. I couldn’t stop laughing, not because I liked losing but because I felt alive.
He locked our hands together, and if this wasn’t sufficient to make my teenage hormones finally spark to life years later, my belly contracted under his fresh, all-male fragrance. His eyes dedicated to me, he hardened his grip on me, as if his cells were bubbling, on the verge of exploding in contrast to his impassive exterior.
I reversed the situation and changed our positions so that I would be the one on top of him. I was sitting on his crotch, and I realized that my panties were brushing directly on his growing hardness through his pants. I could have thrown another pillow at him and won, but I didn’t. Instead, I plunged my eyes into his and hated myself.
I wanted to silence my heart and our gasping animalistic breaths. We couldn’t fight this attraction anymore.
“Aurore, about that kiss earlier—”
“Let’s pretend this didn’t happen,” I panicked. Perhaps because I was afraid to admit the link that drew me to him or to be rejected and called a mistake. He made me feel a wave of hope like I’d never felt before. I don’t want to end this dream. I—“I don’t want to read much into that. It was a moment, that’s it.”
“That’s all you feel?” A spasm twitched his face. “That it was a mistake?”
No. “I—”
“The truth, Aurore.”
I bit my tongue. “It’s just that it’s scary, okay? I’m freaking out. That kiss was good.”
“Those kisses. We kissed twice,” he corrected with arrogance.
“Right. Those kisses. But you—I don’t know if I can trust you with my heart. I don’t know if I can trust myself around you. I’m conflicted. I don’t know if I want to punch you or kiss you, stay far away from you, or breathe the same air. Hell, I don’t even know what you think of me. I feel like a complete mess every time I’m around you. You’re always staring at me with intensity—I feel like I’m a freak to you. Now, it’s your turn.”
I finally could breathe after lashing out a monologue, my heart jumping in my chest. It was his turn to reverse the situation, and he wrapped his arm around my waist before pushing me back onto the bed, him on top of me. My lips yearned to taste his, but he remained in position, his body on the verge of closing on mine, a nerve working in his jaw. Silly brain. Silly me. Silly—
“First of all, those kisses deserve more than a ‘good.’ Second, I don’t think you’re a freak. I’m trying to contain myself to not tear off your clothes and make you mine right now because you’re frustrating me every fucking second. It’s infuriating. Annoying. Consuming. I didn’t want to want you, Aurore, but I do, and I have no control over it. I’m trying to take this slow because you already ran away from me. One second, you’re difficult and impossible and pushing my limits. Next, you’re brave and beautiful, and trust me when I say next time I’m kissing you, I’ll not let you go again because there is a pull that draws me to you that I cannot ignore. I tried, and here I am again, spellbound.”
I didn’t expect that. To see vulnerable Ajax. For his monologue. For my heart to hammer like it was beating solely for him, for my core to burn, and for each fiber in me to react to him.
“If something happens between us, it’d be an unsolvable mess,” I concluded, my voice low and agonizing. “We don’t have the promise of a happy ending.”
“If nothing happens, it’d be an everlasting empty one.”
“So you want me for a steamy one-night stand?” Another crack in my heart formed. “Already did those when the Prince Charming vanished to let the ugly frog take place the next morning. So not into them.”
“And knowing this makes me want to annihilate them for being unworthy of you. It makes me want to smash something. It sends acid down my throat. It’s not pleasurable. So, no, one night won’t be enough.”
“You’re leaving,” I continued. “And so am I.”
“I know. I thought about that.” He paused for a moment. “But I want to continue feeling what I feel when I’m with you.”
“What do you feel?” I gulped, my heart on the verge of combustion.
But my question threw him off guard, and I knew him enough to conclude by the way his Adam’s apple bobbed in defiance that he would not reply to me. His impenetrable mask was on again, and his brows slanted inward like my question was painful to him.
“Ajax, Aurore, it’s time to—” Archibald entered the room, observing us both with a smug smile. “Oh, I interrupted something. Never mind, lovebirds.”
He left, and we both immediately pulled away. I readjusted my dress before I walked away from that damn bedroom.
