Present
I knocked on the door, pretty sure she was going to slam it in my face, but I needed some clothes, and I didn’t really know the other women enough to ask.
When there was no answer, I knocked again. “Alex,” I called.
Her name was posted on the door.
But still, no answer.
She could be asleep. I hadn’t located a clock, a phone, or a computer between hiding at a dark table in the empty dining car and now, so I had no idea what time it was, but it was still dark.
Twisting the handle, I entered her cabin, a shot of fear hitting me, and I didn’t know why.
She might not be alone.
What if she was with Will?
Deep down, I knew that was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it.
Moonlight streamed through the windows, casting light onto the small space through the little curtains, and I looked around the empty room, closing the door behind me.
The coast was clear, so I didn’t waste time. Stepping over to her closet, I opened it and pulled out some jeans, a flannel, and some sneakers.
I needed underwear and a bra too, and I almost blew it off, but I pulled open a small drawer in the cabinet, spotting lacy things.
A shot of heat rushed under my skin.
Setting my hand inside, I felt the black corset bra, kind of angry I’d never experimented more with clothes. When I lived at home, I didn’t want my brother to see anything he wouldn’t approve of, but in the years since I’d been gone, it never occurred to me to take an interest.
Without thinking about it, I pulled out the corset and some matching panties and donned them both before quickly pulling on the black jeans and buttoning up the blue plaid shirt.
The train whistle sounded again, and I looked out the window, squinting into the night. I wish I had my damn glasses.
I slipped on the shoes, tying them up, and then found Alex’s brush and smoothed out the tangles in my hair. She had makeup and a little jewelry in there, always prepared for anything. I didn’t know her like family, but I knew her well enough.
Closing the closet, I left the room and headed out of the sleeper car and down the train. I trailed through a corridor of more private cabins and crossed into another car with chairs facing the windows, and refrigeration units holding wine and champagne.
Darkness and the slight rocking under me were all that greeted me as I went from one car to another.
Where was everyone? I needed to find a phone to check in with the world.
As soon as I entered the next car, though, I looked up and saw some of the guys.
I stopped. The sconces on the dark wood walls barely lit the room, and I scanned their faces, a little hidden in shadow, but did not see Will, Misha, Micah, or Rory among them.
Michael sat in a chair, his eyes locked with mine as he lifted a glass to his lips, while Kai stood at the windows with his arms folded, and Damon rested against the bar, holding a glass of something amber colored. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I knew he was staring at me.
Next to Will, I was most sorry about him. I’d helped him bury a body that I’d watched him murder, and he never told anyone about my involvement. When we got back to Thunder Bay, he might have his own vengeance in mind for me.
“I didn’t want to hurt him,” I said. “I didn’t want to hurt any of you. I just wanted to protect her.”
They didn’t move or speak, Michael taking another drink.
“I made a mistake,” I told them, feeling naked as they glared at me like I was prey. “I thought I was alone.”
My voice softened to a whisper, but no matter how much I hated this, and never in a million years dreamed I’d be groveling to them, it needed to be done. They deserved an apology. At the very least.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I am very sorry.”
Kai turned and stepped toward me. “You think that erases anything?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“You think we would ever trust you not to do something like that again?”
“No.”
“You threw us to the wolves,” he growled, and I could see his white teeth shining in the dark room. “You think your words mean anything to us? Your apologies? Your explanation? Your excuses?”
I forced the lump down my throat, keeping my spine straight, but my mouth shut.
“You’re weak,” Michael said. “There’s no way we can trust you.”
“You had years to come forward,” Kai pointed out.
I nodded. Yes. Yes, I did.
“It was hard,” Kai told me, and I could hear the tears in his throat. “We didn’t deserve it.”
My chin trembled, and I clenched my jaw to stop it.
“Will didn’t deserve it,” he continued.
I know. Just thinking about Will in a cell, surrounded by cruel people, locked up in gray walls…
“You’re not good enough for him,” Kai finally said.
I looked up, meeting his gaze despite my shoulders wanting to slump and the urge to fold in on myself.
I’d made a mistake. I wasn’t a bad person.
I wasn’t.
I turned to leave, but then I heard Damon’s voice behind me.
“We set Rika’s house on fire, Kai,” he said.
I turned and looked at him as he stared at his friend.
“Stole all her money,” he continued. “I kidnapped her, and you forced Banks to marry you. I tried to kill Will…”
“We made mistakes,” Kai argued with him. “We would never do that again.”
“Speak for yourself,” Damon fired back. “The role of the villain is only determined by who’s telling the story.”
An electric current ran under my skin, and I almost smiled, grateful.
They got redemption, because they felt they had their reasons.
Damon and Kai looked at each other, and even though Kai was the one I could see myself connecting to in high school, because he was stubborn with a clear idea of right and wrong, Damon had been my savior on more than one occasion when life had proved there was so much gray.
They were like yin and yang, and I understood. I got it now.
“You’ll make it up to us,” Michael finally spoke up, meeting my eyes. “You’ll stay at St. Killian’s with Rika and me.”
“No.”
“Yes,” he said.
He wanted to make sure I didn’t skip town. What was he going to do? Lock me up?
And then I paused, remembering that he could. They lived at St. Killian’s. He had a whole dungeon at his disposal. No one would hear me scream.
“I have a place to stay,” I told him. “In Thunder Bay.”
His eyes thinned on me, probably not trusting me, but probably not wanting to deal with the hassle, either.
“You don’t leave town,” he ordered. “You will pay your debt.”
I straightened. “I won’t leave town.”
He nodded once as Damon took a drink from his glass and Kai glared at me.
I shifted on my feet. “May I borrow someone’s phone, please?”
But Michael just raised his glass to his mouth again, mumbling, “Borrow one from the girls. We’re using ours.”
I shifted on my feet, finally turning around and rolling my eyes as I left the car. I ventured back the way I came, trailing from one box to the next, past the kitchen, the dining car, the cabins, a room with William Grayson engraved on the door, and the lounge car.
They weren’t using their phones, but at least he wasn’t telling me I couldn’t use one. For all he knew, I could be calling my brother and trying to get help.
But I wouldn’t.
I might be safer if I jumped on a plane to California as soon as we arrived in Thunder Bay, but now that it was all on the table, I knew.
I was the one who hurt them. I needed to see this through.
For Will.
Even if he never wanted me again, I owed him this.
Leaving the empty lounge, I spotted movement through the window in the next railcar. I watched one of the girls inside, her dark locks hanging in her face as she held Alex in a headlock. I slid open the door and stepped inside the gym, noticing a couple of treadmills, weight machines, and a floor mat for sparring.
Erika Fane stood off to the left with her arms folded over her chest, while Winter Ashby straddled a bench off to my right.
As I let the door slide closed behind me, everyone turned their eyes, staring at me.
The black-haired one, poised over Alex, pierced me with her green eyes, and I saw Winter shift and turn her head to train her ears.
“Those are my clothes,” Alex said, panting.
I chewed the corner of my mouth. “Yes, I know.”
She hooded her eyes and pushed the other woman off, rising from her knees and standing up. Sweat made her skin glow, and her shorter hair was pulled back into a low ponytail as she walked to the treadmill and grabbed a towel.
Erika inched over, her arms still folded. “Alex filled us in.” Her eyes fell down my body. “You’re okay?”
I nodded. “Thank you for asking.”
No one had yet.
Erika cast a glance at Alex, who was downing some water, and then back to me as she started to walk past. “We’ll leave you two alone.”
“Don’t,” Alex told her.
Erika stopped, and Alex capped the bottle and faced me.
Splotches of sweat darkened her white workout top, and she stepped toward me in her black yoga pants and bare feet, hands on her hips and fire in her eyes. “In the moment, you actually didn’t know who you were going to choose down there, did you?”
I tipped my chin up. “Was it that I might’ve chosen Will or that I might have chosen Aydin that bothers you the most?”
Her eyebrows shot up, and I didn’t quite feel satisfied that I’d annoyed her, but I didn’t feel badly about it, either. She and Will still failed to understand that it wasn’t a choice I was making between the two men in Aydin’s bedroom.
It wasn’t about them at all.
She approached, glaring at me like she was judge and jury. “You broke his heart.”
“Don’t sell yourself short,” I retorted, remembering Will’s taunts. “I’m sure you provided loads of comfort to him all these years. ‘In his bed, in the shower, on the beach, against the wall, on the hood of the car, and in his backseat.”
She growled, coming right for me, but I shot out and caught her, pushing her away before she hit me. “I’m not going to fight you.”
“You don’t get to decide!”
She lunged into my face, and I pressed my palms to her chest, pushing her back again.
“And you’re not going to fight me,” I told her. “I’m tired of bleeding.”
What had been happening in my head in that house was the same battle I’d always fought. A battle between how I always saw the world, and how I craved to see the world instead. I needed to change as much as I needed Will.
I needed to like myself as much as I loved him.
I stared at her, feeling the eyes of everyone else in the room, and while I kind of understood where she was coming from, because I felt the same jealousy thinking about her and Will as she did thinking about Aydin and me, her notions of who I was and what I deserved weren’t my problem.
“I will make amends for my crime all those years ago,” I told her, “but what goes on between Will and me is none of your business. I don’t give a shit if you’re his friend, his mom, or God. You’re not entitled to a grudge against me. This isn’t about you.”
A glint hit her eyes, and then she cocked her head, silent for a moment.
“You sound just like him,” she finally said, crossing her arms over her chest. “He got to you quick, I see.”
He.
Aydin.
She shook her head. “Like a true, manipulative monster—”
“Like a father.”
It wasn’t at all like she was thinking. I barely knew Aydin, and I didn’t want to sleep with him. She was taking something far more complicated, and whittling it down to fit her own shallow perceptions of the world, so she could understand something she was determined not to ever comprehend.
I didn’t want to fuck him.
I cast a glance at the others before turning my eyes back on her. “I thought I’d remember my parents better since I was almost twelve when they died,” I told her. “I didn’t realize what a burden it takes off your shoulders to have guidance. I didn’t realize I’d missed it so much until I had it again.”
Aydin Khadir had an agenda. He stole me, put me in a dangerous position, and manipulated me.
But people change people, and while he was no hero, I couldn’t help but feel a little grateful. I’d been dying before I woke up in Blackchurch.
“I was safer in a house full of criminals than I was with my brother, because of Aydin,” I gritted out, “so you may as well exhale, because I won’t apologize for seeing something good in him. You did at one time, after all.”
She stood there, silent with a glimmer in her eyes, but her jaw flexed, and she didn’t budge.
Always strong. It was something I loved about her. He’d made her, too, after all. Even just a little.
“Now, may I please use someone’s phone?” I asked.
After a moment, Erika reached over and plucked hers out of the cup holder of the stationary bike and handed it to me.
“Thank you,” I said, backing out of the room and leaving them all alone again. “I’ll bring it back within the hour.”
• • •
I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling, blowing out a breath and shifting between the two huge bodies on both sides of me.
Too hot in here. Damn.
I looked over at Micah, seeing his face buried in his pillow, and then turned my head, seeing Rory. His blond hair covered his eyes and his arm was pinned under his head. Both men were shirtless, but they’d thankfully kept their pants on.
After I’d found a room and made my call with Erika’s phone, they pounded on the door, insisting to stay with me because the “pampered little know-it-alls who thought their shit didn’t stink aren’t getting a piece of you.”
As if Micah and Rory weren’t a little pampered themselves.
It was actually pretty adorable, though, and now we’re all cramped in my bed as the moon shone outside and the train vibrated under us.
To hell with it. I’d take all the friends I could get right now. I liked them.
Sitting up, I climbed over Rory’s body and gently stepped out of bed, looking down at the two beautiful guys and their sleeping forms. A serial killer on one side, and the son of a terrorist on the other. Man, my parents would be proud.
What were they both going to do after we got to Thunder Bay? They couldn’t go home. Would someone be coming for them?
For Will?
Still in my jeans and shirt, I slipped on Alex’s sneakers and tied them up.
I left the room, steam from the heaters fogging up the windows, but I could see the rain splattering on the outside.
I needed food. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate, and now I wished I’d eaten that sandwich I’d made when I waited for the brownies to cook earlier today.
Or yesterday. It was probably after midnight now.
God, had I only made the brownies yesterday? Fixed the chandelier? Made love to Will in the shower? It seemed like so much had happened since then.
The kitchen was back by the bar car, and I still hadn’t seen Will since the confrontation in there earlier. Not on my search for a phone, not when I returned it to Erika an hour later, and not tonight as I’d smelled food being wheeled down the corridor and past my room, not stopping at my door, unfortunately.
It was weird. I’d only made one phone call with Erika’s phone. For some reason, I thought I’d have a lot to tend to, but after I called my firm and left a message, assuring them I was safe, I sat there at a loss of who else to contact.
I was of no concern to Martin, Grand-Mère was gone, and there was no one else. No friends, really. No pets to check in on. No man waiting for me.
I think I’d had a dentist appointment yesterday, maybe…
Heading down the next corridor, I approached the kitchen door, but heard a cry and halted for a moment.
“Oh,” she moaned.
I didn’t know if it was Erika, Winter, or one of the other girls, but hunger pangs wracked my stomach. I needed some food. Or a drink at the bar.
Tiptoeing down the passageway, I threw a quick glance through the kitchen door, seeing the naked back of Winter Ashby as she sat on the steel worktable in the dark kitchen, her arms around her husband.
“I love you,” she whispered as he kissed her neck.
Taking his face in her hands, she pressed her lips to his mouth, lingering slow and gentle before moving her kisses to his cheeks, nose, forehead, and temples.
He closed his eyes and smiled, breathing that short, excited breathing like he was riding a roller coaster.
My body warmed, kind of intrigued to see him like that, but I didn’t linger. Continuing past the door, I stopped at the end of the car, looking through the windows and seeing the bar full of people. Kai and his wife, Michael and Erika, and then Alex. Will and his cousin were still nowhere to be seen, as well as a couple of other men I saw helping them when we were rescued. I believe Misha had a woman with him when we boarded the train, as well, but I didn’t see her either.
The room was still dim, the cherry-colored sofas and chairs rich and warm against the wooden walls and the amber glow of the light.
Kai held the woman in his lap, smiling as she said something into his ear, and Michael reached around Erika, making her a mixed drink and adding far too much tequila. She laughed.
My gaze dropped to Alex who was sitting in a chair with her legs pulled up. She nursed a glass and stared at nothing out the window.
I fisted my hands. Aydin could be dead.
She’d never admit it, but I knew that was where her mind was.
Someone approached my back, but I didn’t have to turn around to smell the bergamot.
“Did you know about Aydin and Alex?” I asked Will, still staring at her.
“I knew what she told me,” he said. “I knew of him. Not his name.”
“He’s in love with her.”
“He can’t have her.”
I turned my head, tempted to meet his eyes, because the possessiveness of his words scared me.
But then he continued, “He’s bad for her.”
I looked at her again, seeing her how I never got to before. The couples surrounding her, in love, and despite the fact that she had Will to lean on, I’d never seen her so lost.
“And I’m bad for you, and you’re bad for yourself,” I went on, “and Damon’s bad for the world, and Martin is bad for me…” I twisted the handle, crossing cars. “The world is only so big, Will.”
We couldn’t shut out every single person who’d disappointed us. Some of them were still worth fighting for.
I entered the bar car, eyes turning up at me as I walked in, Will following me. “We should go back,” I told everyone. “To Blackchurch.”
“What?” Kai blurted out.
Michael scowled. “Excuse me?”
The door slid closed, and I made eye contact with all of them. “We should go back and get the ones we left behind.”
“We can’t go back,” Michael said.
“We can.” I nodded. “The locomotive goes in reverse.”
He rolled his eyes, and Kai stood up, his wife climbing off of him. “A security team will already be there. Going back puts Will at risk.”
“First of all, Aydin and Taylor are loose ends,” I told them. “You rescued Will under the assumption the other prisoners wouldn’t care. They do. I promise. And second, Taylor Dinescu can go fuck himself, but Aydin would be a useful ally. We need him.”
“You need him,” Alex retorted. “Aydin Khadir doesn’t deserve us. That’s the difference between you and me, Em. I can sacrifice what I want for the good of others.”
“And what do you think I did?” I fired back.
I wanted Will more than I’d ever wanted anything. I wanted it all.
I just didn’t want him experiencing the stress of my life. I was embarrassed. And I needed to protect my grandma. I fucking sacrificed.
I held Alex’s green eyes, seeing the pain in hers that I always felt in mine. She thought it was easy for me, because it was easier to believe that.
She knew better.
She pursed her lips, and I could see her trying to swallow, but she couldn’t. After a moment, she downed the rest of her drink and swiveled in her chair, looking over at Michael and Erika as she set her empty glass on the table. “Do you remember that pool party Michael and the guys took you to when you first moved to Delcour?”
Erika nodded, hopping off the stool and walking over to sit in the chair next to Alex.
“Aydin was there that night,” Alex told us. “He went to Yale with one of Michael’s teammates, and we hadn’t seen each other in a long time.” She paused, and I could see the memory playing behind her eyes. “The more I drank, the more I hated him, and the braver I got.”
Why did she hate him? I’d gotten pieces of a story at Blackchurch. He wanted her. He denied it, because of family pressure. She survived without him.
Alex looked over at me. “I was roommates with his girlfriend in college, you see?” she told me. “We played together one night while he watched us over Skype. That’s how we met.”
Played? I couldn’t imagine that. I couldn’t imagine Aydin in college. Experiencing youth like a real human.
I could see her, though. Performing for him. Taunting him.
“You should’ve seen his eyes.” Alex closed hers for a moment as everyone listened. “It was like he was in pain or something. I could almost feel his breath and the heat in his arms.” She opened her eyes, lost in thought. “And then a few nights later, he wanted me to himself, but when push came to shove, he couldn’t step up, and he chose her.”
I remained in my spot as Will dropped down into the sofa on my right.
Alex shrugged. “It was okay. He wasn’t mine to begin with. I had no right.”
Setting her glass down, she exhaled and continued, glancing at Erika. “The night of the pool party, I’d heard they weren’t together anymore, and when he couldn’t stop looking at me across the room, the stronger I got,” she told us. “But I wasn’t going to let him win. I wasn’t a dog, sitting there waiting for his affection.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
But it was Will’s voice I heard next. “You let me take off your top in the pool.”
Another man taking her top off in front of him…
“And he was watching,” I said.
Alex tipped her chin up, the pride covering up the pain from a few moments ago. “Life goes on,” she said, “and my bed wasn’t cold. I wanted him to know he didn’t matter, and I wasn’t ashamed of anything I’d done. He didn’t exist.”
And Aydin couldn’t look at her, but he didn’t want his fiancée anymore, either. He got sent to Blackchurch over it.
She looked over at Will. “Everyone looked at me. Your hands on me.”
“And then everyone else got naked in the pool,” Will continued.
Alex’s gaze drifted off. “And he watched me look at you and you look at me and knew that he’d lost.”
“And what did you win?” I asked.
Believe me, I knew something about staying on your feet and not letting anyone get the better of you, but she’d been hiding behind Will to fend off the loneliness and despair.
Because when they enabled each other in their vices, they felt accepted and didn’t have to face the harder road ahead.
That road was inevitable.
“Not everyone is born knowing their path is from point A to point B, Alex,” I bit out. “You and Will are the same. You sit up there on your high horse, all ‘love conquers all’ and shit, and refuse to understand that there are impossible choices others have to make, but it doesn’t mean we don’t love.”
My voice grew harder, and I glanced around the room and then back to Alex.
“Does it suck? Yes!” I yelled, feeling Will’s eyes on me. “But do you understand it? I know you do. Sometimes the uncertainty seems like more of a risk than just staying with what’s familiar. It takes time to grow that courage. Don’t you understand that?”
They could all do whatever they wanted in high school, and now years later in Thunder Bay, because Damon was right. The villain was just a matter of perspective. It was as easy as pie for them to judge me, because on the rare occasion they weren’t doing fucked-up shit themselves, they got these splendid little attacks of sanctimony when it came to anyone outside their little group.
“You’re so self-righteous,” I snarled, looking around the room. “All of you.”
I lashed out and kicked the table so that the vase sitting on it toppled over. Alex tensed, a fire lighting in her eyes.
Will sat there like ice.
“You’re not good enough for me,” I told them and spun around, heading out of the room.
But then I heard a chair creak and Alex’s voice behind me. “I want my shirt,” she blurted out. “Now.”
I twisted around, seeing her standing and challenging me with her hand out.
“And my sneakers,” she said.
“Get fucked, Alex Palmer!” I bellowed, flipping her both of my middle fingers.
She started for me, but just then the lights went out, the train lurched, and the wheels underneath us screamed as I flew back into the wall and crashed to my ass.
I winced. What the hell?
Moonlight cast a soft glow in the car, and I saw Will jostle in his seat. Alex flew forward, landing on her hands and knees in front of me. One of the guys cursed, and a woman cried out.
I gasped, looking around the dark compartment, seeing Will still seated and righting himself, while Michael pushed himself to his feet and took out his phone.
“What was that?” Kai snapped.
“Everyone okay?” Erika asked.
The train had stopped, but I just looked up and met Alex’s glare in the darkness as she looked at me like she wanted to kill me.
Right there in the darkness with everyone distracted.
Will’s body ten feet away warmed my skin. Feeling his eyes suddenly on us, my heart beat so hard in my chest I could hear it in my ears.
“What’s wrong?” Michael asked.
He must be on the phone, but I didn’t look away from Alex.
“Okay, got it,” I heard Michael say in the distance. “Yes, we’re all right. Send an attendant to check the rest of the cars. Thank you.”
The V of Alex’s gray T-shirt hung open as I gazed down the tunnel between her breasts. I dug my nails into the carpet.
“The trip stop engaged,” someone said. “We were going too fast. It won’t take long to get the railyard to throw the switch and get us going again.”
But no one responded to him. Something pulled at me, and I looked over, seeing Will leaned back in his seat, arms slung over the back of the sofa, and his eyes locked on me.
Alex grabbed my foot, and I sucked in a breath, turning my eyes on her.
She stared at me, and then slowly…slid her other hand up my ankle, held my leg, and pulled her shoe off my body.
Heat rushed in my veins.
The eye of the storm. The eye of the storm.
I drew in a breath and gently exhaled, calming my breathing as I leaned back on my hands and let her take my other leg, pull it up, and slide off the other sneaker.
Rain hit the windows, the forest silent outside under the cover of night, and Michael lit a candle, everyone in the room looming in the background as the hairs on my body stood on end.
Everyone was silent.
There. Filling the room.
Watching us.
She gripped my ankle.
“I don’t want to fight,” I murmured.
But she retorted, “I still want my shirt.”
Will didn’t move, but I heard his intake of breath.
The pounding in my chest grew harder, and I felt his eyes and the heat pooling between my legs. I couldn’t think about anything.
No fear. No doubt. Just the moment.
There was nothing about me to lose that I wanted to keep.
Slowly, I pushed off the floor, Alex rising with me, and I wasn’t going to run.
I unbuttoned my shirt.
“Do you think he’s dead?” Alex whispered, closing the distance between us.
“No.” I moved my hands down, unfastening one button after another. “You know he’s not.”
Aydin had destroyed his life over her. He was too single-minded to die yet.
Slipping the shirt off my shoulders, I handed it to her, and she took it, letting it immediately drop to the floor.
“That’s my favorite corset,” she told me, not breaking eye contact.
I swallowed, my stomach dropping a little. I could feel six pairs of eyes all over the bare skin of my arms and chest.
With my gaze locked on her, I started unfastening the hooks, thinking about her bare chested at that party, and me feeling in front of Will right now what she would’ve felt in front of Aydin that night in the pool.
Others looking. Standing and not backing down.
If this made her feel stronger in front of her crew, I could take it.
Let’s see how far she wanted to push this.
She dropped her head, her hair brushing my cheekbone as she ran her knuckles over the lace on my stomach. “You look good in it.”
I unfastened the last hook, whispering, “It feels good.”
Hesitating only a moment, maybe wondering if anyone was going to stop me as the fire of Will’s gaze covered my skin, I opened the corset, baring myself, and slipped it off, holding her eyes as I held it out to her.
But she didn’t take it. “And my pants?” she ordered next.
The air pricked my nipples, and my head swam. Michael Crist, Kai Mori, Erika Fane, Will Grayson all stared at me and…
Nine years ago, I wouldn’t have given them the pleasure. Now, it was about my own.
Screw ‘em. Alex and I had this coming.
I unbuttoned the jeans, and she slid down my body, dragging my pants with her. I breathed hard, closing my eyes as she helped me step out of them, and when she rose again, I pulled her in, hovering over her mouth and slipping my fingers just inside the hem of her pinstriped little boxers.
“You think so, huh?” she teased.
“Yeah. I think so.”
I pushed them down her legs and then took her T-shirt, lifting it up.
She met my eyes, but before she could worry about me or what I was diving into, I pulled it over her head and then yanked her body into mine.
“Yes,” I whispered over her mouth as I ran my hand over her face, down her neck, and back up to her jaw, squeezing it.
Threading my other hand up into the back of her scalp, I kissed the tip of her nose, her forehead, and ran my lips down her cheeks, tasting her soft, sweet skin, my stomach filling with this need that I knew I couldn’t stop.
I dug my fingers into her, baring my teeth, and both of us panting hard as she whimpered, “Emmy.”
But I didn’t want to stop. I sank my mouth into hers, covering her lips and kissing her strong and hard. My nipples pressed into her own, and any protest she had died on her tongue as it tasted mine, sending a shockwave current right under my skin with its fucking wet touch.
I wanted to open my eyes and look. To see the look in Will’s eyes, and know that he was traveling with me on this, but it was enough to know he was watching.
I nibbled her bottom lip, biting it with my teeth, and then flicked her top lip with my tongue, unable to stop kissing her.
Grabbing her hands, I forced her on me, peeling my panties down as I tugged at hers. Both of us naked, I pulled her into me again, nearly every inch of her body touching mine, and I couldn’t think.
Gasping for air, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes, feeling her mouth graze all over my neck and fall down my chest.
I held her head to me. God, I want this. I wanted it all. I wanted Will to see me like I saw him in that wrestling room and know that I wanted to feel. I wasn’t scared to fall with him, because he made me feel safe no matter how high we climbed.
I wanted him to see me, and I wanted it to be in her arms, and I wanted them to watch.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I tipped my head forward again, caressing her face as her breath hit my lips.
I opened my mouth, but before I could tell her to keep going, I heard someone else instead.
“Don’t stop,” the other voice whispered.
My mouth dry and my body throbbing with need, I glanced over her shoulder to see Kai’s wife sitting on the floor between his legs, staring at us and barely breathing. He leaned forward, his hand on her neck and his thumb caressing her jaw as they both watched us.
Michael held Erika in his lap, her leaning back against him and their gazes fixed on us, too. His hand rested inside her shirt.
And that was it. Any spec of hesitation or doubt completely drained out of me. I wanted to see me, too.
“Emmy…” Alex started.
But I grabbed the back of her neck and brought her in nose to nose as I stared at her mouth and reached down, stroking her pussy.
She whimpered. “Emmy, we should…”
“Don’t talk,” I growled low over her lips. “I want you.”
She shivered under my touch, tears filling her eyes, and I pushed her back to the chaise. She crashed onto her back, her brown hair spilling over the upholstery as I came down on her, grazing my fingers over her cunt and reveling how fucking soft she was.
She squirmed, grabbing my hand but not pulling me away, and I heard shifting in the room. Sharp breaths and groans coming from somewhere.
I refrained from looking at Will, not wanting my nerves to get the better of me, as Alex’s and my hands roamed everywhere. Her hands gliding down my body and my hands caressing her face as I hovered over her and kissed her lips.
My breasts brushed hers, the hard flesh of her nipples sending a shiver up my spine, and I continued my light touches between her hot thighs.
“I’m going to lick you,” I told her, working my fingers inside her and teasing her clit.
She shuddered. “No.”
“Yes.” I clasped the back of her neck and rolled my hips into her, the heat and sweat already too much to bear. “Open, Alex. Spread your legs for me.”
I kissed her, dry humping her, our moans mixing with the other moans in the room, and her breath and tongue heating my mouth, so much so that I was almost ready to beg her for it. I wanted to suck on her so bad.
She remained still for a few moments, and then… Her thighs fell apart, and I smiled, arching my back as she pushed up and tugged my nipple with her teeth.
“Will?” I panted, keeping my eyes closed as she sucked. “I want to be in one of your videos.”
Let me put it on the line like them right now, and no going back.
Alex groaned. “You sure?” she taunted. “You want a video of you fucking me?”
God, yes. I tipped my head down, capturing her lips, the taste of her boiling in my blood.
But then Will spoke up. “The train is already wired, baby,” he said in a ragged voice. “Top right corner, behind you.”
I looked over my shoulder, seeing the small black security camera near the ceiling, the glow from the candle reflecting in the lens. It was already recording all of this.
Alex licked her way up my neck, teasing my mouth. “Lick me now.”
Yes, ma’am.
Grinning, I dove in for one more kiss, deep and so good, before I pushed her back down on the chaise and worked my way down her beautiful body.
I kissed her breast, tasting her skin with my tongue and sucking on her plump flesh. I moved to the other one, kneading her hips as I caught her nipple between my teeth and bit and sucked.
Gliding farther down, she scooted up for me, sitting against the back of the chaise as I laid on my stomach, bent my knees, crossed my ankles, and swung my feet into the air behind me, settling my head between her legs.
Hesitating only a moment for a glance, I spotted Kai’s wife in his lap now, reverse cowgirl with his hand inside her panties and all of her other clothes gone as she watched us. Michael and Erika had moved, her ass planted on a bar stool as he stood between her legs, both of them watching us as he slowly peeled her panties down her thighs.
Will hadn’t budged, his arms still draped over the sofa and his face hidden in shadow.
Fuck it. Fuck it all.
I glided my tongue up her silky slit, feeling the soft, supple skin of her pussy, and even though I wanted to feast, I wanted this to last forever. I wanted to taste her.
I sucked her clit into my mouth, drawing it out and feeling the little nub harden and rush with heat. I nibbled the sides, slipping my arms underneath her thighs and holding on as I flicked her with my tongue again and again, doing the same things to her that I liked Will doing to me.
Coming in hard, I sucked her into my mouth, French kissing her hot pussy, my own clit ringing like a damn bell.
God, I was wet.
I dove down, sinking my teeth into her thigh, kissing and biting her every damn place I could reach.
“Emmy,” she cried, threading her fingers through my hair and grinding against my mouth.
I looked up at her, her tits pushed up and bobbing as she fucked my face, and I held on tight, feeling her body quiver as her orgasm crested.
Sweat glistened on her brow and between her breasts, and my head swam, so light and warm.
Everything was warm. A piece of fabric tore somewhere in the room, and I heard a cry and a groan, and I smiled, diving in and sucking her again so hard, she fisted my hair and threw her head back, belting out a hot, little moan.
“Ah!” She shook and panted, coming on my tongue, and I loved it. God, I loved it.
I had a heart. I can dive and feel. I knew that now.
I was free.
And now, it was my turn. Climbing up, I sucked her off my lips and lifted her leg, sliding my right one underneath it and putting my left foot next to her hip. Holding her leg with one hand and planting my other behind me for support, I started to rub my pussy against hers, grinding on her fast and feral, chasing the goddamn itch inside me.
“Oh, fuck,” I heard Kai growl.
I leaned back, rolling my hips and turning to the side just a hair, so I could feel all of her as my breasts swayed with the ride.
I looked over at Kai and his wife, her eyes closed, her back against his chest, and his fingers deep inside her as she reached back and wrapped her arm around his neck.
He bit her ear, and she turned her head, sinking into his mouth.
Erika was naked, facing me with her fingers dug into the stool as Michael devoured her neck and slid inside of her from behind.
I let my head fall back as Alex and I scissored, my cunt growing wetter as I rolled my hips again and again, rubbing on her harder and harder.
Coming down from her orgasm, she gripped my thigh and started to ride me back, matching my rhythm, and I looked over, seeing Will still watching us, the heavy rise and fall of his chest the only sign that he was alive.
“He watches you like Aydin watched me,” Alex said softly.
I squeezed her breast, possessive and hungry. “This isn’t for him,” I whispered.
This was about us. Her knowing that I saw her, and me knowing there was more to myself than I knew. That I could go to the edge.
I was more than I thought I was.
“Ah, Emmy,” she moaned as our pace quickened. “Your cunt is so hot. Fuck me.”
“Yeah,” I whimpered.
My tits shook, and my hair tickled the small of my back as I fucked her pussy, and let the moans escape as I felt it coming and coming.
“Oh, Jesus,” Michael growled.
Everyone watched us, Michael’s and Erika’s eyes zoned in, and Kai and his wife’s gasping for air, piercing us with their desperate eyes as he finger-fucked her.
“I’m gonna come again,” Alex said.
I shook my head. “Don’t come yet.”
“Oh, God.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Harder.”
I rocked my hips harder, her clit rubbing against mine and making the blood rush in my legs as I let out cry after cry, unable to contain the pleasure.
“Fuck, fuck…” I screamed.
“Emmy!”
“Don’t come,” I demanded, grinding circles into her and feeling her heat mix with mine. “I want more. I’m not done with you. I’m not done.”
I wanted to come all night.
But we were already there. Alex’s body went rigid, every muscle tightening, and a trickle of sweat fell down my back as my orgasm exploded, lightning filling my body.
I cried out so loudly, I didn’t care if the whole damn train heard. Shudders wracked through my body, and I slowed, locks of hair in my face, my skin damp, and a wave of contentment sweeping through my body.
God, that was hot. “Shit,” I murmured.
“That didn’t last long,” I heard Michael say. “I’m sorry, babe.”
Erika chuckled, out of breath. “It’s okay. I came.” And then some kissing sounds. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he said.
Opening my eyes, I looked down at Alex, her stomach rising and falling in heavy breaths, and I bent over, resting my forehead on her chest.
She ran her hands over my back, holding me tight.
In another moment, Kai’s wife came, whimpering into the dark train car, and I almost smiled, but I didn’t have the energy.
Never would I have imagined I’d do something like this, but I wasn’t embarrassed. Not in the least. They followed us, all of us leaping over the edge, too.
I was about to rise back up and face Will, but just at that moment, something slipped around my neck and I was yanked up, an itchy rope squeezing my skin.
Will pulled me against his body, and I tipped my head back, looking up at him as he leaned down, his lips brushing my ear.
“Don’t get too comfortable,” he whispered in a raspy voice. “You haven’t left prison yet.”
He grabbed my breast, squeezing it like it was his property, and chills spread out over my body as the train started moving under us again.
His hot breath filled my ear. “It’s time you saw the catacombs.”
A shiver ran down my spine, and my nipples pebbled as I turned and looked at him. “I don’t want to grow up anymore,” I told him. “Take me back to Thunder Bay.”
Back to Neverland.
I’m ready.
