Nine Years Ago
“What did you do in lit class yesterday?”
Elle Burkhardt pulled on her uniform trousers, staring at me while I pulled off my necktie and started unbuttoning my shirt.
My long-sleeved white T-shirt underneath remained on as I snatched my band jacket off the hanger dangling on the outside of my locker.
The girls’ locker room was packed—cheerleading, band, and the field hockey team all vying for space, either trying to get out to the court or go home.
“I finished reading Lolita,” I mumbled to her.
“You know what I mean.”
I shot her a look.
I’d skipped lit this morning, no doubt another confrontation with my brother waiting to happen tonight once he found out, but I just couldn’t face Will and his merry band of morons this morning after my outburst yesterday.
I’d hid in the library, instead.
“Let them do their worst while they can,” I said, pulling on my coat, the heavy fabric grazing my back and burning the skin. “Life will eventually knock them down to size, like it does to us all.”
It wasn’t that I was scared of the Horsemen and the repercussions of calling them out in class yesterday. I just knew another outburst from me couldn’t happen again quite yet, so rather than give them the satisfaction of seeing me shut up and sit there, I just didn’t show up at all.
Gathering all of my hair, I pulled it into a low ponytail and picked up my glasses off the bench, slipping them back on. The poster across the locker room came into view more clearly.
Vote for Ari!
Homecoming Queen
Homecoming. I groaned. Pretty sure slamming my nipple in a car door would be less painful.
Or joining a gym.
Or reading The Bell Jar in between bouts of banging my head on a wall.
Elle reached into her locker and took out her deodorant, rolling it on. “You’re coming to Sticks tonight, right?”
Kicking off my sneakers, I pulled my newly pressed pants off the hanger and slipped them on before unzipping my skirt and letting it fall to the floor. “What do you think?”
“Too school for cool?”
I nodded, slipping my pants on and fastening them. The girl knew me.
Leaning over, I jerked my chin at her and opened her locker door, gesturing to the Trojan bumper sticker she had plastered inside. “Some of us don’t have parents with the admissions office at USC on speed dial.”
We buttoned up our navy blue and white coats, but I could feel her eyes on me as she braided her blonde hair and I slipped on my black shoes.
“You’re allowed to relax once in a while.” Her voice was calm but firm. “The rest of us aren’t less because we like to have fun, you know?”
“Depends on your idea of fun, I guess.”
I sat down and started tying my shoes, but then I saw her stop, and I paused, realizing how that came out.
I looked up at her, kind of wincing. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean that.”
Damn, I was rude. Why was I so awful? Elle and I weren’t friends, but we were friendly. She tried, despite how hard I made it.
“And I have fun,” I teased. “Who says I don’t have fun?”
She continued braiding her hair. “Depends on your idea of fun, I guess,” she shot back.
I laughed, thankful she was playing back. I knew how I was. Judgy, rude, and close-minded, but I also knew why.
I was jealous.
Happy people didn’t hurt others, and while I didn’t dwell on my behavior in lit yesterday with Will and his friends, people like Elle didn’t deserve it.
I wanted someone to understand me.
“Have you ever seen a Lamborghini commercial on TV?” I asked, looking over and meeting her eyes.
She shook her head.
“They don’t make them,” I told her. “Because people who can afford Lamborghinis aren’t sitting around watching television.”
“So, you want a Lamborghini someday, and that’s why you work so hard and don’t have any fun?”
“No.” I chuckled, gathering my school uniform scattered on the floor. “My own private jet will get me out of this town a hell of a lot faster than a car. I’ll wave goodbye and let it all disappear in my wake.”
The cheer team ran by our aisle, everyone starting to make their way out to the gym. The football team was on a bye week, but the basketball team had an exhibition game against Falcon’s Well.
“I’ll try not to take that remark personally,” Elle replied.
I shot her a smile, hoping she didn’t take it personally. I wanted as far away from this town as possible for several reasons, and once I left, only one thing would ever bring me back.
“Is there nothing you love in Thunder Bay?” she asked.
I dropped my eyes for a moment and then looked over at her. “Why do you think I’m still here?”
And then I opened my locker and flashed her the inside of my door, but instead of my own Trojan bumper sticker, or any bumper sticker, it was a single, three-by-five snapshot of my grandma and me at my eleventh birthday picnic in the park.
My skin in my blue tank top was darker than my usual olive from all my time in the sun that summer, my cheeks rosy from smiling and not having a care in the world other than what I was going to do for fun the next day, and no matter what size glasses I wore, they always looked too big for my face. I was geeky and happy, and remembering that woman in the picture resembled nothing like the woman who was lying in bed at home right now made my throat prickle with tears.
But I looked at Elle and smiled small, my grandma the one thing I’d come back to town for.
In fact, the idea of leaving for college and leaving her if she was still alive by then was almost unbearable.
I rubbed my eyes under my glasses and then stuffed my school clothes into the locker.
I looked up, noticing something.
What was that? I narrowed my eyes, reaching up and taking the stuffed animal off the top shelf.
I paused in confusion. How did this get in here?
I looked around for anyone watching me and met Elle’s eyes, holding it up.
“Did you put this in here?”
She looked at it and then me, shaking her head. “Nope. I don’t even know what that is. A Komodo dragon?”
I studied the gray plush toy, taking in his claws, teeth, tail, the scales down his spine, the angry snarl on his face…
“It’s Godzilla,” I murmured and then laughed.
Who put this in here?
And then my face fell. I watched Godzilla last night. I thought I was alone in the theater. Did someone see me?
It was coincidental, wasn’t it?
“What’s this?” Elle picked up the paper and granola bar tied to its leg. She read the note, “Sunset is at 6:38 p.m.”
I flashed my gaze to hers.
She shrugged. “It’s from someone who knows it’s Yom Kippur,” she said.
In a town like this, everyone knew who the Jewish kids were.
And the black kids. And the poor kids.
We were in the minority in Thunder Bay, so we stood out.
Anyone could’ve sent this, and I was tempted to keep the snack bar. I hadn’t checked what time sunset was to know when I could eat, and I’d forgotten to bring anything for after the game. I was hungry.
But then, I saw a black strip of cardstock tied to Godzilla’s tail and ripped it off the ribbon.
Admit One
Emory Scott
L-348
My hand shook as I read it over and over again, recognizing the black paper with the ornate silver border and the serial number identifying every ticket sold. It was an annual event.
It was—
“Are you serious?” Elle blurted out, snatching the ticket from my hand and staring at it. “An invitation from a senior?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. The senior lock-in was held every October, and it was tonight. After the basketball game. Non-seniors could attend only if they secured an invitation from the graduating class, and even then, the seniors were only allowed to invite one person each.
One senior used their only pass to invite me?
It had to be a mistake.
“Take it,” I told her.
There was no way I was going. This was a trap waiting to happen.
She held it for a moment and then sighed, handing it back to me. “As tempting as that is, you need this more than me.”
I crumpled it in my fist, about to toss it onto the floor of my locker, but Elle plucked it out of my hand and stuck it inside my jacket, slipping it in between two buttons.
“Line up!” our director called.
But I was swatting Elle’s hand away. “Stop, dammit,” I gritted out. “I’m not going.”
“In case you change your mind,” she chirped. But then she dropped her voice to a whisper. “I mean, what’s to worry about? It’s not like you’re really locked in with them.”
Them. She meant the seniors.
But when she said it, only four came to mind.
I side-eyed her, tossed Godzilla into my locker, and pulled out my flute.
• • •
“He’s so cute!” Elle said, but it came out in a little growl like he was a baby and good enough to eat.
I chuckled under my breath. I wasn’t sure which one she was talking about, but I could guess.
Will Grayson jogged down the court, dribbled the ball, and passed it to the center before racing ahead again, catching it, and shooting it straight into the basket.
It slipped through the net, the scoreboard added two points, and the crowd cheered. Michael Crist shot him a five and charged down the court, sliding in front of the other team’s forward and stealing the ball again, passing it to Kai.
“Whoo!!” everyone screamed around me.
I wiped the sweat off my forehead, watching Will lift his shirt up and use it to do the same.
I couldn’t help my eyes falling to his bare stomach, the shorts making his skin look more golden with the ridges and dips tight and visible from here.
Heat covered my face again, and I looked away. Navy blue was absolutely his color.
I tried to space off like I did with the football games, but even when I wasn’t looking at the court, I wanted to look at it. Will Grayson was the best shooter we’ve ever had, better than Crist who was already in talks for an athletic scholarship he didn’t need for college next year.
Why wasn’t Will vying for one? How lucky it must be to have a talent like that to get you in the door, but then again, he didn’t need help opening doors, did he? He was probably a legacy somewhere, his future already planned.
The final buzzer blared, and I checked the scoreboard, making sure of what I already knew. We won. By a lot.
Too bad it wasn’t a real game. Just a little show before the regular season started in November.
Hesitantly, I raised my eyes again, finding him on the court. He talked to Damon Torrance as he wiped the sweat off his face, the wet hair at the back of his neck darker than the hair on top.
Then…he looked over his shoulder and locked eyes with me.
A smile spread across his face, like he knew I’d been watching him the whole damn time, and my face fell, heat rising to my cheeks.
Ugh. I looked away.
Such an ass.
Everyone descended the bleachers, the crowd dispersing, and I looked up at the clock, seeing it was just after seven. The hunger pangs had stopped, but my mouth watered for that granola bar, and now I could eat.
I wasn’t stupid enough to eat food from someone I didn’t know, though. Hopefully Martin left me alone so I could get some food in me before he went to town.
“Scott!” someone called.
I looked up to see Mrs. Baum, the director. I slipped through the crowd of students, walking over to her.
She leaned in. “Change and put your instrument away,” she told me quietly, “and then hurry back into the gym to help clean up the mess before the lock-in.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I was grateful she didn’t shout that across the room. No one needed reminding that I was a work-study kid.
Heading for the locker room, I passed Elle as she talked to two of our band members. “Have fun tonight,” I told her.
She smiled. “Better hurry and make it out in time before they lock the doors.”
And then she wiggled her eyebrows.
“They don’t actually lock the doors,” I retorted. “It’s a fire hazard.”
She stuck her tongue out playfully, and I smiled, spinning around and heading for the locker room.
After changing back into my school clothes, I hung my band uniform back up, stored my instrument in my locker, and started to close the door, stopping when I spotted the granola bar.
I twisted my lips to the side, slipping it off the red ribbon around Godzilla’s foot and checking it for holes like I used to do with Halloween candy.
It looked safe.
My stomach hollowed, and suddenly, I was hungry again.
I stuffed it into the center pocket of my black hoodie. I’ll throw it away in the gym.
Slamming the locker door shut, I started walking but looked down and saw the crumpled ticket on the floor.
Crouching down, I picked it up and looked at it again. Must’ve fallen out of my uniform.
For a moment, I was tempted. I wanted to be that girl. The one with a lock-in and cute boys and music and friends to look forward to.
The longing coursed through me and eventually out, and I stuffed it into my hoodie pocket, as well. I’d throw that away with the granola bar, too. Definitely before Martin saw it.
I hurried back to the gym.
“Okay, one!” Bentley Foster called out. “Two…three!”
An hour later, the gym was clean of soda cups and popcorn boxes, the bleachers stored, the hoops raised, and the floors quickly swept. Two of us each picked up the ends of several mats, and on the count of three, pulled them open, spreading the hardwood basketball court with a cushion for sleeping bags and blankets.
In no time, the floor was covered in blue wrestling mats, and my stomach ached at the smell of burgers and nachos wafting in from the kitchen.
I checked the clock in the wall. After eight.
Looking over, I caught the director’s eyes. “Are we good?” I asked her.
“You walking?”
I nodded.
“Then go on and go,” she told me. “Have a good weekend. Be safe.”
“Thanks.” I backed away as they rolled the coolers full of soda and juice out. “You, too.”
I jogged toward the locker room door to collect my uniform and backpack when I heard her behind me, “Open the doors!” she called to someone.
Students had no doubt gathered outside, having packed and stored their sleeping bags in their cars since this morning, probably leaving after the game to eat before they came right back here for the lock-in.
I pushed through the locker room door as the main entrances swung open, letting in the crowd.
“Scott!” Baum shouted.
I stopped, turning around.
She still stood where I left her, muttering into a walkie talkie and then turning her attention back to me. “Coach Dorn is up in her classroom,” she said. “She wants to see you before you leave.”
I hesitated a moment and then sighed. “Okay,” I called out and spun back around, pushing through the door with a hard shove.
I needed to get out of here. It was dark, I was starving, and they didn’t really lock the doors during a lock-in, right? I mean, I was pretty sure that was illegal, but now I didn’t know.
Skipping the stop at my locker, I exited the locker room, swung open the door, and stepped into the hallway, slipping through the students who were trying to get into the gym. I turned left and jogged up the darkened stairs, their footsteps and chatter fading the farther up I climbed.
Mrs. Dorn was not only the swim coach, but she also taught biology on the third floor. I took biology two years ago, though. What did she want?
Was this about me quitting swimming?
Fear cooled my blood. She knew something didn’t sit right about why I’d quit. I could see it on her face.
Reaching the top floor, I grabbed the door handle and pulled it open, entering the silent third floor and looking around.
No lights shone except for the lanterns that glowed outside, and tiny droplets of rain spattered the windows that peered into the courtyard below.
Great. Now I was going to get soaked walking home.
The door closed behind me, and suddenly, the lock-in was miles away.
“Coach?” I called out, walking down the hall toward her classroom.
Heading up to the door, I stopped and peered inside. Stools sat upside down on top of the long, black worktables, and I looked to the teacher’s desk, seeing her computer off, her chair pushed in, and the classroom pitch black.
“Coach?” I said louder this time. “It’s Emory Scott.”
Stepping back into the hallway, I turned, looking around. “Hello?”
But there was no answer.
I dug in my heels, charging down the hall and glancing into classrooms as I passed, all dark and not a soul to be found. Everyone was either home or downstairs on the first floor.
I rounded the corner and then the next, coming up on the teacher’s lounge and found the door cracked.
Creeping up, I pushed it open a sliver more. “Hello?” I said. “Coach, are you in here?”
Every hair on my arms stood on end, and all I could see was dark.
What the hell?
Then, a shadow suddenly moved across the wall in my view, and I sucked in a breath.
I swallowed. “Coach?” I choked out.
Rain tapped the windows behind me, and I knew someone was in the room.
I almost pushed the door open, but whoever was in there heard me.
And they weren’t responding.
To hell with this. I tried. She could talk to me Monday.
Jetting off, I ran to the end of the hall and threw my body into the door leading to the other stairwell.
But it didn’t budge.
I grabbed hold of the bar and shoved again, the door jiggling but not opening.
“No, no, no…” I pushed again and then tried the other one, kicking at it and growling. “They don’t really lock the doors,” I mocked myself.
Shit!
Running back the way I came, I bolted past the teachers’ lounge and whoever might be in there, heading back toward the lab, passing it, and trying the doors I came through when I arrived.
I shook the handles, yanking and shoving, but they wouldn’t open. Dammit! Did they lock behind me automatically or…
I shook my head, not wanting to think about the other option.
I slipped my hands inside the pocket of my hoodie, but when I pulled out the items inside, all I had were the granola bar and the lock-in ticket.
“Where’s my phone?”
I breathed hard, my hair tickling my nose as I searched my brain.
My locker. I’d left my phone in my backpack inside my locker.
I couldn’t call home anyway. Not yet. Martin was a last resort.
I could call the office.
Or Elle.
I closed my eyes. “Shit.” I didn’t even know her number. I didn’t know anyone’s number. A friend would be useful right now, loser.
There had to be speed dial on a classroom telephone for the front office. Please, please, please, let someone be in there.
I rushed back to the biology lab and swung inside the door, grabbing the receiver off the wall and squinting at the keypad.
I couldn’t see shit. I flipped the light switch.
But nothing happened. “What?” I breathed out, confused.
I flipped the switch up and down a few more times, looking up at the lights and hoping for a flicker, but they were dead. The room was black.
I gritted my teeth and clenched my thighs, because I felt like I was about to pee my pants. I pushed my glasses back up my nose and squinted at the keypad again, trying to make out the writing.
Before I could dial, something glinted to my left, and I looked down on the floor, seeing a large, wet footprint.
I stopped breathing, following the trail, but it disappeared out the door and into the hallway. Whipping around, I dropped the phone, seeing the window on the other side of the room open with rain pouring across the roof outside, splattering the windowsill.
I was just in here, looking for Dorn. That window wasn’t open.
I dropped the phone and backed into the hallway, keeping my eyes peeled.
“This isn’t funny!” I barked. “And I’m not scared!”
Twisting my head left and right, I continued retreating to the wall of windows that wrapped around the third level, glancing over my shoulder to see if I could signal anyone outside in the courtyard.
There was no one, though. Just dark and rain and trees below.
So the lights were cut off. The doors were suddenly locked. Someone creepy was playing around, probably the same creep who sent me the invite to the lock-in.
Fucking Will Grayson.
I squared my shoulder, looking left and then right. “How flattered I am that you have nothing better to do with your time than this,” I bit out. “Come on. I’m almost excited. Let’s go.”
This was bullshit. I had things to do. I had to get home.
But no. Everyone was at their disposal for their entertainment. No one else’s time was important.
“You think you can scare me?” I said, not yelling anymore, because I knew he was close. “You’re boring.”
I didn’t know anything about fighting back or protecting myself, but I knew that nothing surprised me.
I might not win, but I wouldn’t scream.
Dashing back into the biology lab, I reached around the door frame to grab the receiver I’d left dangling, but I only caught air. Patting the wall, I searched for the phone and looked up, seeing the receiver and its cord gone.
What…? My heart skipped a beat. I just had it in my hand.
I quickly scanned the room, knowing someone was in here. I tried to spot them in one of the darkened corners, or their eyes peeking through one of the bookshelves…
Maybe Michael Crist’s red mask, Kai Mori’s broad shoulders, Damon Torrance’s stupid smirk, or Will Grayson’s black hoodie.
But I wasn’t waiting around. Leaving, I ran back toward the teachers’ lounge and darted into the girls’ bathroom, hopping up onto the radiator and unlatching the window. Flipping it up, I hung my arms over the side and stuck my head out.
I tried to lift myself up, my legs flailing as I tried to get some traction against the wall to push myself up more, but my back ached, and the muscles in my stomach burned as I struggled.
If my spaghetti arms could lift more than a blueberry, that would be fantastic. God, I was pathetic.
I grunted, using every ounce of strength to pull myself up, but I heard something and stopped.
Looking over the gym roof, I saw Michael Crist on the outdoor basketball court dribbling a ball and shooting baskets in the rain.
He was outside.
He wasn’t inside.
Were they all outside? If it wasn’t the Horsemen up here with me, freaking me out, then who…
The bathroom door suddenly whined behind me, and I didn’t know if someone was leaving or coming in, but I scrambled, hopping down off the radiator and whipping around to face whoever it was.
The door swung closed, no one in front of me, but then a click pierced the silence, and my eyes flashed to the stall door.
The closed one.
Someone was in here. Someone’s…
I couldn’t swallow.
If it wasn’t Will and his pals, then that changed things.
Running past the stall, I threw open the door and dashed into the hallway, making my way for the chemistry lab. It had a window like the bio lab, and I could crawl out onto the roof—flail, scream for help, whatever. I was safer in the open than stuck up here with God-knows-who.
Laughter broke out from somewhere, echoing down the hall, and I noticed more wet tracks on the floor, some leading back to the bathroom where I was and some moving alongside me.
Tossing a look over my shoulder, I saw a dark shadow moving through the glass in the other hallway and the door to the bathroom swing open, another figure emerging.
My stomach rolled. What the hell?
Racing into the chem lab, I closed the door, locked it, and pulled the shade down on the window.
Rain fell all around, pummeling the roof and tapping the windows, but I heard it louder in here.
I narrowed my eyes.
It was loud. Just like in the bio lab.
Looking over my shoulder, I saw that one of the windows was open in here, too—rain bouncing against the roof outside and drenching the countertop along the wall.
I dropped my eyes to the floor, my heart sinking as I saw more wet footprints.
Only this time, they weren’t leaving the room. Following the trail around the desks, I walked toward the back of the room and stopped as they disappeared into the dark corner.
I tried to inhale a breath, but I couldn’t stop shaking.
Grabbing a pair of tongs off the tray on the table, I kept them in my fist before picking up a flask, rearing back, and launching it into the corner.
It shattered against the bookshelf, missing the corner by a mile, because I suck, and I picked up a beaker next, throwing it at him—whoever it was—and hitting the wall this time.
I kept going, picking up a cylinder and loading my arm, but then…
He stepped out, his dark form somehow much bigger than I was expecting.
I took a step back but released a breath, looking up.
Jeans, black hoodie, and a white paintball mask with a red stripe down the left side.
Will.
I almost relaxed. Until I dropped my eyes and noticed the gloves. Black leather. He balled his fists, making them grind and whine as he stretched the material that glinted in the moonlight.
I glanced at the door, but it was no use. Kai and Damon, I assumed, were out there somewhere still.
I glared at Will as he took a slow step toward me.
“I’m not scared,” I told him.
He cocked his head.
“I’m annoyed.” I clenched my weapons in my hands. “I have to walk home in the rain now.”
I threw the cylinder at him, damn-near hitting him, but he whipped out his arm and swatted it away before it hit his face.
It crashed to the floor, and I backed away, snatching another flask off a table as he stepped closer. “You got a problem with my brother, then you take it up with him. Don’t be a coward.”
He stalked toward me, and I launched the flask. It hit him in the chest, making him stumble, but it didn’t break, tumbling to the floor instead, the glass finally shattering.
He walked, the glass cracking under his boots, and I watched as he laid his gloved hand on the black lab table, gliding it over the top as he moved.
My heart pounded in my chest, my stomach swirling as the fear took root, and I looked up at his face, his eyes through the little holes in the mask barely visible in the darkness.
I stopped, suddenly lost in those voids for a moment.
He took another step, and a jolt hit my heart, my whole body warming.
Still, I didn’t move.
I couldn’t.
Another step. He was almost at me.
Why wasn’t I moving?
My pulse raced more by the second, and the feeling almost made me smile because I kind of liked it.
Something built inside me, stacking one brick on top of another until I was a wall, and every second more that I stood there, the more the room started to spin around us like a storm.
And he and I were the eye.
What was I doing? What if this wasn’t a joke?
Just another second. Just one more second. I wanted to push it.
With every moment that passed, my lungs worked faster to take in air, and I just wanted him to take another step—one more step—to be closer to me. Until…
Until he was there, two inches from my body and looking down at me—so close that if I spun around to bolt, there was no way I’d get away.
My stomach swirled, and my knees shook.
I tried to swallow, but I couldn’t. “Is this the part where I giggle?” I said, trying to sound tough but failing. “Or beg?”
He cocked his head to the side again, like he was studying me.
I forced a smirk despite my hands shaking with fear. “Stop it, you’re scaring me,” I whimpered, imitating one of his Barbie dolls. “Oh, no. Whatever will I do? Don’t be too hard on me, Daddy.” I bat my eyelashes. “But I admit, I like it when you’re hard on me. Sooooo hard.” And then I moaned for good measure.
Then I dropped the smirk and cocked an eyebrow. Is that what he expected from me?
“You… don’t scare me,” I repeated.
Shooting out my hand, I grabbed a set of test tubes and reared my arm back, throwing them through one of the windows. I growled as it crashed through, all the glass hopefully falling on top of the skylight of the gym below and alerting someone I was up here.
The sound of rain filled the room even more, and cool air rushed in, the wind blowing my hair. I looked up, glaring into his eyes, hoping that that did it and he’d stop now.
But he just stared down at me.
And then, as if accepting a challenge, he reached out and swiped an entire stand of beakers, flasks, and funnels off the countertop and onto the floor.
The crash ached in my ears, but I didn’t flinch. Reaching out, I grabbed hold of another stand and pulled it onto the floor, every empty vial and container shattering between us as I backed away and he advanced.
Passing the next student worktable, he reached for the left and pulled the chemistry set onto the floor, and I reached right, yanking another between us as he continued walking, the glass crackling under his feet.
We moved faster, him reaching left and me reaching to the right, metal stands clanking to the floor between us as glass crashed and filled the room with chaos after chaos.
Again. Left, right, left, right. We kept going, his getting faster and me stumbling back to grab the next table’s stand as something filled up in my stomach, my muscles charged, and I started to smile.
He moved into me, and I stumbled back, tripping on my foot and losing my balance. I fell backward, but he followed, his arm circling my waist just in time as his other grabbed the table for support.
I looked over my shoulder, seeing bits of glass on the floor where I would’ve landed.
Turning back to him, I stared up into his eyes as my fingers clutched his shoulders.
And then I felt it. The smile still on my face.
I was smiling. A little.
Shit.
Slowly, I let it fall, but I couldn’t take my eyes off his. Guilt washed over me at the mess we made, knowing I couldn’t pay for it, but the worry left as quickly as it came, because all I could feel was the here and now.
The rain and wind blew through the room, and I reached up, my hands shaking as I lifted his mask off his face and dropped it to the floor.
He just held me as I slipped the hood off his head and looked up into dark green eyes.
“I was never trying to scare you,” Will said, rain glistening on his face and wet hair. “I just wanted to see something.”
I stared at him, because I couldn’t speak no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I…
I wanted to go, but…
I didn’t want to leave.
I liked this.
But I twisted out of his hold, stumbling backward and landing on my hands away from the glass. A smile glinted in his eyes, and he dropped to his hands and knees, too, watching me with mischief.
My heart raced again, hearing the glass crunch under his palms, and I held his eyes, scooting back slowly as he moved toward me.
But just then, he moved with the speed of light, barreling right at me, and I yelped as I leapt to my feet and so did he, but before I could run, he crashed into me and pinned me to the wall.
I exhaled hard, trying to keep the smile off my face, but I couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped. My heart was beating so fast.
His body pressed into me, and I could feel his eyes on me as he tipped his chin down, his nose nearly brushing mine.
“Get… get…get away from me,” I stammered, because I was trying not to laugh.
A drop of sweat trickled down my back, his body on mine making it too unbearable to even breathe.
He took my chin in his hand and lifted it up, trying to get me to look at him.
His heat surrounded me, and the pulse between my thighs throbbed.
I didn’t want him to go anywhere.
And I hated that.
Blinking long and hard, I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked up into his eyes, hardening my gaze. “You’re all assholes,” I said, grabbing his wrist. “Boring and predictable, and maybe that shit works on everyone else, but not me.”
I yanked his fingers off my chin and shoved him in the chest, stepping away.
He didn’t want me. He wanted to use me, and no matter how much I wanted to indulge a fantasy of fun and excitement, I’d be the one to pay later. Not him.
Getting me into bed, so he could get laughs when he told everyone what a lousy lay I was or rub it in my brother’s face that he’d gotten me to spread my legs, were the only things he was interested in.
No. He wasn’t going to win.
“Unlock the doors,” I told him.
But he just stared at me for a moment, and instead of heading to the hallway and toward the stairwell doors that had been locked, he walked for the wall of windows, the wind and rain barely staying at bay beyond the broken glass.
“Unlock the doors,” I said again, walking over to his side.
“Why?” he asked.
I scowled. “Why?”
What do you mean, why?
“I wasn’t trying to scare you,” he said, staring out at the rain pummeling the roof, “but why wasn’t I?”
“Real monsters don’t wear masks, William Grayson III,” I retorted. “They look like everyone else.”
He kept staring at the rain, but he didn’t respond.
“Now unlock the doors.” I turned around. “You’re pathetic, and you’ve wasted my time.”
I walked for the classroom door, but then I heard his voice behind me.
“They won’t let you walk home in this weather,” he said.
“They can’t stop me.”
“I won’t let you walk home in this,” he clarified. “You’ll sleep here tonight.”
I glanced over my shoulder at him, placing my hand on the door handle. “Make me.”
And before I could even turn the doorknob, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, tapping the screen.
“‘Stop it, you’re scaring me,’” I said on the recording. “‘Whatever will I do? Don’t be too hard on me, Daddy.’”
I stopped breathing for a moment, every muscle in my body losing strength. My hand dropped from the knob.
“‘But I admit, I like it when you’re hard on me. So hard.’”
I closed my eyes, hearing myself moan on the phone. Shit.
I turned around, meeting his self-satisfied little smile and knowing he’d recorded his prank. They always documented their dumb crap on that stupid phone.
I almost walked out. My feet almost took that step, and they could post that online for everyone to have a good laugh. My brother would get angry, because his mind would make up whatever story was the easiest to go along with what he thought was happening in that recording, too.
No skin off my nose because I was used to it.
But then Will said, “Door’s unlocked. Go get some pizza.” And he picked up his mask off the floor. “We’ll clean up here.”
I hesitated, looking around at all the broken glass and how much trouble I’d be in if my brother found out I’d helped make this mess. Even though I was kind of defending myself, I still didn’t want him to have any idea of what happened up here because he’d just blame me.
I blinked long and hard. Fine.
I walked out, charging down the hallway and through the doors to the stairwell.
I should be at home. I should be with my grandma.
He just wanted to play with me to prove he could.
But… a night away was rare. At least I could relax, knowing Martin wouldn’t be here. I had my earbuds and a book.
I still wasn’t giving Will another inch tonight, though. The lock-in was filled with witnesses. Let him try.
I kicked rocks all the way back down to the gymnasium, ignored the pizza, and planted my butt on the bleachers.
Opening my phone, I tapped the app and tried to continue reading The Night Eternal as the music and activity went on around me.
But after ten minutes, I’d barely absorbed a paragraph.
And when he and his friends finally came back downstairs, I forgot about the book as I waited for him to come over and try something.
Engage me. Annoy me. Tease me.
But he didn’t.
He left me alone.
I faltered for a moment, a little confused. I expected him to try to piss me off or coerce me into the scavenger hunt they were having or something.
But he just left me sitting there, the minutes stretching into an hour, and the hour stretching into two.
Just as I thought. To prove he could…
The band director called my brother and asked if I could put in more work-study hours by helping in the kitchen tonight. Then they’d keep me over since it would be too late to go home.
Martin was probably fine with it since I was “working,” but I didn’t for one second think the director came up with that lie herself.
Because I didn’t help in the kitchen at all.
I just sat there, trying to read on my phone. Will glanced over every once in a while as he spent time with his friends or slow danced with some girl to make sure I was where he’d left me.
He just liked making me sweat. That’s what this was about.
Control.
Before I knew it, the lights were dimming and Will was shoving me toward his sleeping bag smack-dab in the middle of Michael, Kai, and Damon.
I groaned. Did I really have to be here?
“Take it.” He pushed me again, and I stumbled. “I’m warm enough without it.”
Like I care about your comfort. Seriously.
He laid down on the mat next to his sleeping bag—black with red and black-checkered lining—and I stood there, scowling.
Keeping my shoes on, I climbed inside the sleeping bag, seeing Crist on my right, Torrance lying at my feet, and Kai above me. Michael pulled off his T-shirt, his long, toned torso spread out next to me like he didn’t know we were still in public no matter where we were sleeping.
I quickly turned away, heat rising to my cheeks.
I scooted up toward Kai—the safe one—but something grabbed my feet and yanked my ass back down. I glared at Will, but he just smiled to himself as the lights in the gym went off and everyone settled in, giggles piercing the air and chaperones patrolling to keep peoples’ hands off each other.
Yes, let’s lock up over a hundred hormonal teenagers in one space. What a stupid idea.
My stomach growled, and I shot a glance up at Will, seeing his eyes closed, his arm propped up under his head as a pillow, and his lips curled with a smile.
He’d heard that. Someone brought me pizza earlier as I sat on the bleachers—maybe at Will’s behest—but I told him to screw off.
Now, I regretted it. I hadn’t eaten in over twenty-four hours.
The minutes passed, the chatter started to quiet, and Bryce started to snore from the other side of the gym. Arion Ashby slipped on her sleep mask and some students put on their expensive headphones to cancel out the noise.
I was too hungry to sleep, and the granola bar in my pocket called to me.
I turned my head, looking over at Will. His hair had dried, and even though I’d never seen it looking so messy, he still pulled it off, because he was born with it. Stern brown eyebrows, a sharp nose, but soft lips and the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen behind those sweet, sleeping eyelids and long lashes.
Why couldn’t guys this cute ever be nice?
I blinked, dropping my gaze. Of course, he did give me his sleeping bag.
And probably the granola bar and Godzilla, too, even though he broke into my locker to leave it for me.
“So what were you trying to do?” I asked in a low voice.
“When?”
I looked up to see his eyes still closed. “You said you weren’t trying to scare me upstairs,” I told him. “So, what were you trying to do?”
His chest rose and fell in steady breaths, hesitating a moment. “I was trying to see if you liked it,” he whispered.
If I liked what? Him?
The chase? The danger? The risk?
Well, I didn’t.
But I couldn’t help but ask, “And? What conclusion did you come to?”
The corner of his mouth curled into a smile, but he didn’t open his eyes, and he didn’t answer. “Go to sleep.”
I turned my eyes back up to the ceiling, seeing the rain still hitting the skylight.
He needed to leave me alone. Just give up. If he kept pushing me, I’d do something stupid because I could feel it coming.
I clenched the sleeping bag in my fingers.
There were moments I wanted to do something outrageous. I mean, sure, I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted fun.
But I couldn’t bring someone into my life. It was a nightmare, and I needed to keep it together for my grandma.
Just mess with someone else, Will Grayson. I don’t want your attention.
Unable to stop myself, I turned my head again, taking in the peaceful look on his face as he slept. The way his neck looked so smooth and soft, and what would’ve happened upstairs in the chem lab if I hadn’t pushed him away.
I would’ve regretted it, but I would’ve liked it, I think.
I stared at his lashes and the way they draped over his skin underneath his eyes.
My own burned with tears I refused to let loose.
I guess I understood people letting themselves be used, even for just a night if it meant not being alone for once.
I turned over on my side, watching him sleep, but then my eye caught something, and I looked down, seeing Damon lying on his stomach and watching me. His head was propped on his hand, his eyes sharp as he brought up his fingers and dragged his thumb across his throat, not blinking once as he stared at me.
I clenched the sleeping bag tighter at the small scowl in his eyes.
Rolling over, I stared at the ceiling again, getting the message. You’re not special, so don’t get confused, girl.
I reached into my pocket and fisted the granola bar.
But I was no longer hungry.
