I stare at Nikolai, too shocked to express words. From the information I unearthed about Vladimir the past four days, I know every word Nikolai speaks is valid, but it doesn’t make them any easier to hear. Vladimir is a reincarnation of the devil. He is a man who’d rather slay the weak than offer them a hand off the ground, but murder can’t be the only solution to defeat him.
I know from personal experience how deadly revenge is to an ethical mind. It wreaks havoc with the most honorable men. But more times than not, when the person seeking vengeance doesn’t achieve the outcome they set out for, their thoughts turn even more sinister.
I wanted to look Col Petretti in the eyes as he took his last breath. When that opportunity was taken away from me, I felt hollow and bleak. The man who haunted my dreams was dead, but instead of being grateful, I was angry. I wanted to be the one who made him pay his penance. I wanted to show him what he did to me didn’t affect me. But more than anything, I wanted to see the look on his face when my brother walked out of prison a free man. Because the best revenge you can achieve is showing those who hurt you how great your life is after you’ve been scorned.
When I say that to Nikolai, the tenseness in his eyes grows tenfold. Heat crackles in the air as the tick in his jaw turns manic. Although his eyes show he doesn’t appreciate my continued arguing, my campaign doesn’t falter. I said mere minutes ago that Nikolai needs a person strong enough to stand next to him, not three paces back, so that is precisely what I will do.
“I understand you want revenge, Nikolai—”
“It’s not revenge,” Nikolai interrupts, his voice gravelly and thick. “It’s taking back what’s mine and proving I’m more of a man than Vladimir raised me to be. You said it yourself, Ahren. I may have been born into this lifestyle, but it only became my life when I let it. It’s time to take back what’s rightfully mine. Killing my father is the only way I can do that.”
I still, paralyzed by my own words. I didn’t realize when they stumbled out in a moment of anger that they would have such a significant impact on Nikolai. I intended to show him there is an entire world outside of his family. I didn’t expect them to encourage murder.
My lips twitch, preparing to continue my plea, but Nikolai pushes his finger against my mouth. “No more,” he commands, his tone gruffer than usual. “We have hours, Ahren. I don’t want to waste another second debating a matter not up for discussion. I’ve made my decision. Nothing you could say will change it.”
I stare at him as my brain compiles the facts. From the way he pursued me, I can confidently declare he is a determined man who goes after what he wants with a ruthless edge you can’t help but admire, so the chance of me altering his mindset is practically impossible, but what sort of woman would I be if I sat back and watched the man I’m growing to admire dwindle into half the man he is?
“You said I’d be worth three days in lockup, Nikolai. You never said I’d be worth a lifetime in hell.”
I push off my feet and head for the open balcony door before Nikolai can comprehend what is happening. The sun is barely peeking over the skyline, but the fireworks raging in my gut overtake my desire to witness the ultimate Vegas light show.
After throwing a dress over my shuddering frame, I begin packing my belongings. I don’t know why I’m the one leaving when this is my apartment, but my emotions are in such turmoil, my flight mode mechanism has kicked into overdrive.
“What are you doing?” Nikolai asks from his station at the balcony door. His tone would make grown men wet their pants, but my stupid body reacts on the opposite end of the spectrum. I’m turned on by his deep timbre, not scared.
Sickened by the lust-craved idiot I’ve become the past thirty-six hours, I head to my closet to pull down my suitcase stored on top. I’ve barely yanked down the heavy object when Nikolai snatches it from my grasp and propels it across the room. It smashes into the far wall with a thud, proving its guarantee to withstand any amount of pressure was fraudulent.
“You are not leaving, Justine,” Nikolai warns, his words so volatile they are spat off his tongue in rapidly fired hits.
I snap my eyes to him, the anger in them doubling from his assumption I can’t leave of my own free will. There was only one time I was told I couldn’t leave—it ended with me being mauled by a dog.
“Don’t tell me what to do, Nikolai. You don’t own me. Nobody does.” My voice cracks with emotions at the end. I know Nikolai would never hurt me, but haunted memories are holding my vocal cords hostage.
When Nikolai’s face lines with anger, I rush to the door, the value of my belongings not high enough to worry about leaving them behind. Possessions can be replaced. Values can’t.
A squeal bellows from my parched mouth when Nikolai beats me to the door, snapping it shut with so much violence, the wood trim around the doorjamb loosens. My lungs hunt for air when Nikolai curls around my back. His body temperature is as hot and brooding as my mood, a dangerous combination of anger and need.
“I don’t take anything not willingly given, but help me God, I will fuck you where you stand if that’s the only way you’ll learn who you belong to. I may not yet own your mind, Ahren, but I own every inch of your body,” Nikolai hisses into my ear.
I arch my back, despising the way my body heightened with anticipation from the fury in his clipped tone. “A weekend fuckfest doesn’t imply ownership.”
Nikolai slants toward me, turning what should be an honest declaration into a lie. “The moment I slipped my cock into you, I asked if you understood what that meant. You said you did. Are you saying you lied?”
“No,” I reply with a shake of my head. “I knew what you meant.”
In that instant, I became Nikolai’s. My body knows it. Nikolai knows it. It’s just my brain failing to get the memo.
“But that doesn’t mean I’ll sit by and watch you make a mistake you can’t take back. I’d rather run through the gauntlet again than have you kill a man for me.”
“When the choice is to kill or be killed, I’d rather kill,” Nikolai snarls, his words not as volatile as earlier.
“That can’t be the only option. That can’t be your only choice,” I mumble, my voice breaking into a sob.
I’m not tearing up at the prospect of Nikolai becoming a killer—his laidback attitude toward the potential loss of life the past four days leaves no doubt Vladimir won’t be his first hit; it is the thought of him being killed flooding my eyes with moisture.
‘If there were another option that would guarantee you the same level of safety, I would take it. But there are no other options, Ahren. You are my weak spot, and the instant Vladimir discovers that, he’ll use it to his advantage.” His ominous tone plays havoc with my astuteness.
I love how protective Nikolai is. I love that in such a short period of time I’ve crawled so profoundly under his skin he is willing to do anything to protect me. But do I love those traits enough I’m willing to let it supplant my morals? I’d like to say no, but since I place a high value on integrity, I keep my mouth shut.
Sensing that my fighting stance is weakening, Nikolai continues chipping at my hostility. “I gave you my word that I’d never let anything happen to you, Ahren.” He gathers my hair to the side, exposing my neck to his torturous lips. “I’m going to keep my word,” he murmurs into my ear before placing a peppering of kisses down my neckline.
“Are you sure there isn’t any other option?” I mumble through a moan.
My contradictory responses can’t be helped. Nikolai’s lips are as dangerous to my ethics as his handsome face. One touch and my reservations combust as readily as my senses.
“There has only been one time I’ve been more certain.” Nikolai locks his wintry blue eyes with mine, spearing me in place with their intensity. “It was knowing I had to make you mine.”
I moan again—even louder this time.
While lavishing my neck so effectively the turmoil in my stomach drops several inches lower, Nikolai’s fingers skim the side boob my free-flowing dress can’t conceal. He is barely touching me, but my skin sets on fire with every little movement he makes. I’m practically panting, my eagerness at the swift change in our exchange leaving me breathless.
“I’ll protect you and keep you safe.”
The misting of sweat on my neck amplifies when he slips his hand beneath the loose material of my dress to cup my engorged breast.
“I’ll stop at nothing to ensure the world knows if they mess with you, they’re messing with me.” Every word spoken coincides with a tweak of my nipple.
I lean into him more deeply, encouraging his pursuit no matter what objections my brain is firing. I want him—anywhere and anyhow—and no matter what the cost.
“But first, before any of that, I’m going to remind you who you belong to.”
The possessive growl of his words turns me on more than I could ever articulate. I should be ashamed I’m allowing my desires for this man to overrule my astuteness, but I’m not. Just his lips on my neck make my inhibitions falter, so what chance do I stand after hearing his pledge of protection?
None. I am defenseless to him.
“Tell me you want this,” Nikolai murmurs into my ear as his hand slithers across my quaking stomach to draw me in even closer to him. I purr softly when he grinds his erection on the globes of my ass, ensuring I know what his question refers to.
“I want this,” I say in a hushed whisper, my voice full of need. “I want you.”
You’d think continued sexual contact over a prolonged period would weaken the hold Nikolai has over me. It hasn’t. Not in the slightest. His influence over my body is more powerful now than it’s ever been. The fact he switched my devastation to excitement within seconds reveals how significant it is.
“Turn around and face me. I want your eyes on me,” Nikolai demands, his voice husky with arousal.
When I do as requested without qualm, his lips curve upwards. He isn’t shocked by my obedient response; he is pleased. I learned quickly that passiveness is well-rewarded by Nikolai. The more submissive I am, the more mind-hazing our interactions are.
My heart kicks into a mad beat when Nikolai crouches down in front of me. “Put your leg over my shoulder,” he requests before fisting the hem of my dress.
Not the least bit concerned two bite marks will be thrust into his peripheral vision, I curl my right leg over his shoulder, devoid of a negative thought. Nikolai’s ardent stare ensures not a snick of hesitation thickens my blood. He idolizes me as much as I crave him, so I refuse to let two measly marks hamper our exchange.
“Now watch me eat the tastiest cunt I’ve ever eaten,” Nikolai demands before his tongue spears between the folds of my pussy.
I cry out loudly, my desire heightened beyond belief when he loses control on my throbbing sex. He sucks, licks and nibbles on my aching core, causing waves to crest in my stomach before crashing into my womb.
With my clit still sensitive from earlier stimulation, the pressure in my pussy soon becomes too great to overlook. “I don’t think I can hold back for long,” I warn, my voice as colorful as my cheeks.
Nikolai smiles against my soaked sex before his effort to have me spiraling into climax doubles. He sucks down hard on my clit as his fingers join the Derail Justine Train. He pumps two fingers into me before quickly switching to three. Even stretched to a point it is almost painful, I moan on repeat, a more intelligent response beyond me. The sensation is overwhelming, charging my desire to climax to within an inch of the finish line.
“Oh, God, Nikolai. I can’t. I don’t think I can come. I’m too sensitive,” I mumble a short time later.
My words are whimpered with devastation. I’m so worked up, I honestly feel over-coiled. Can an orgasm build at a rate so fast it will never break? If so, that’s what is happening to me now.
“Ohhh,” I moan in a throaty growl when Nikolai’s teeth graze my clit before he tugs on it—hard.
The weight of my leg on his shoulder doubles when I’m blindsided by the sudden arrival of an orgasm. My mouth dries up as perspiration beads on my skin. I convulse without reservation, my climax too powerful for a restrained reply.
“That’s it, Ahren. Give it to me,” Nikolai murmurs against my quaking lips. “Give me every fucking drop of your goodness.”
I moan on repeat, adoring that he brought my climax to fruition with the same aggressiveness our exchange began with. Before Nikolai, any type of hostility was a turn-off. Now. . . I can’t get enough. I relish every graze of his teeth, mark of his hand, and pounding of his cock. His touch is like a drug: the more I have it, the more I want it.
I’m still shuddering uncontrollably when Nikolai scoops me into his arms and moves us across the room. With my lungs void of oxygen, all the weight in my body relocates to my eyelids. I’m exhausted—both mentally and physically.
Not letting my tiredness impede him, Nikolai places me on the mattress on my hands and knees. My face smushes into my pillow when he raises my ass high into the air, erotically staging me for his visual pleasure. Even being the most exhausted I’ve ever been doesn’t stop me cranking my neck to peer at Nikolai as I hear him unzip his pants.
“Oh, sweet Jesus,” I whisper under my breath when his thick, rigid cock springs free from his jeans.
Every vein in his body is working hard to feed his manhood, making it so mouthwateringly delicious, I’m tempted to fall to my knees in front of him and devour him with the same wickedness he conveyed consuming me. The only thing stopping me is the image of him tearing open a condom with his teeth.
I stare, mesmerized and shameless when he rolls the condom down his thick shaft. I never knew a mundane task could be so riveting. That thin sheet of latex should offer protection from STIs and pregnancy, but it is much more symbolic than that. It is the only thing stopping me from being wholly consumed by Nikolai. If there weren’t a condom between us, there would be nothing between us. That is how close we’ve become this weekend.
I raise my eyes to Nikolai’s face when I feel the heat of his gaze on me. He is staring at me, hot and devoted. “I’d give up everything I have before I give this up,” he grinds out as the head of his cock dips between the folds of my pussy.
He coats himself in my arousal, his actions as enticing as his sweet-talking gaze. “A thousand men couldn’t keep me away from you, Justine.” He swipes the crown of his cock over my clit, sending a jolt through my body. “So what chance does one man have?”
Stealing my chance to reply, he thrusts into me hard. My hands clutch the bedding in a white-knuckle hold as a mangled groan rolls up my chest. Nikolai stills for a moment, giving me a chance to acclimate to the sheer girth of him—a painstaking few seconds filled with nervous excitement. Lust has thickened my blood, but I didn’t miss the hidden innuendo in Nikolai’s statement. Even guiding me through a star-detonating climax hasn’t diminished his determination one bit. He is out for revenge, and his target is his father.
Just like he has for every second of every minute of every hour since I’ve known him, Nikolai puts my mind and body on opposing teams. He works my body with the knowledge a man who has only known me for days shouldn’t have, immediately blurring the line between right and wrong. He drives me to the brink, proving lust is more poisonous to an ethical mind than revenge. He fucks me until I’m just as convinced as he is.
There is no other option. His father must die, because falling in love is beautiful but it is keeping the connection alive that can make things ugly.
