“You know what I’ve noticed?” I glance over at Saint as his fights continue to play in the background and smile. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”
“What is it?” Saint asks, resting his hand on my right thigh. He slowly begins tracing circles on my upper thigh, warming my skin with a touch so addictive.
“Ever since we returned from Stinson Beach, you haven’t been smoking a lot…”
He grins. “You noticed, huh?”
“Mmhmmm.”
“I’ve been trying to stop the habit, yeah.” He nods. “I want to be around, you know, want to be around for everything life has to offer with you. I thought back to those statistic numbers you told me about the day we first met three years ago. I don’t want to be a statistic.”
“I don’t want you to be one either.” My heart clenches. “So, you’re stopping smoking?”
“Trying to ease out of it, yes.”
“Why now?”
“Because I wanna have you for the rest of my life, wildflower. Don’t want our future children to grow up in an environment filled with smoke and bad choices because of me, you know.”
Not being able to resist, I peck his lips. “I’m proud of you, Santo, and just know I’m here to support you every step of the way.”
“Thank you, baby. I also got in touch with my former counselor today, just asked him a couple of questions. He thought it best I perhaps see a therapist in Seattle, better to keep a solid therapist than keep changing, so I’m going to do that, I think. Don’t want to book a session without you knowing, but I think it’ll help with that closure. The door’s closed and locked, but I wanna make sure it’s kick-the-door-open proof and that the key is thrown the fuck away. What do you think?”
“I think that’s the perfect choice. It makes me so happy you’re doing these things now.”
“Me too.” Saint smiles and kisses my forehead. “Just wish I had the courage to do all this a long time ago. Wish I had the courage I do now back then. Thank you for encouraging me to do all this. It really sparked all these ideas in my mind that night at the beach house when I opened up about everything. You told me that seeking help isn’t a bad thing, and it truly isn’t. So, thank you.”
“Anytime at all. You know I’ll always be here to support you.”
“Likewise.”
I smile and we spend the next few moments wrapped in each other’s touch as I straddle Saint’s waist. I love that we simply stay like this, forehead to forehead, heartbeat to heartbeat, forever against forever.
“It takes a very strong man to admit to me everything you just did,” I murmur against his lips. “Thank you for always being real with me.”
I’m careful with my fractured wrist as I slip out of his hold. It doesn’t hurt me as much as it did yesterday and with the medication, it’s slowly easing too. It’s going to be a long six to eight weeks until it’s off, but a summer I’ll never forget nonetheless.
The bowl of glossy dark red cherries on the coffee table catches my eye and a memory crosses my mind. Grinning over at Saint, I gesture toward the bowl. “Last week you told me you can do that trick where you tie the stem with your tongue. Show me!”
Chuckling mid-groan, Saint throws his head back against the edge of the couch and shuts his eyes. “Oh God, nooo.”
“Come on now, baby. Don’t be shy. Damn, Maralyn’s right. Is there anything you can’t do?”
“Say no to you, apparently.”
“Yeah, but you don’t want to do that.”
Saint flutters his eyes open and winks. “Obviously.”
“Come on,” I purr, seductively biting my lip to make my point. “I’ll show you how grateful I am if you do it.”
He blindly takes ahold of the bowl of cherries and sets it down in the space between us on the rug. “Oh, really now?”
“Mhmmm.”
Saint’s eyes darken, pure dripping desire. “This better not just be some upscaled persuasion, babydoll, because my cock is getting harder by the second. Ti guiro su Dio. I swear to God.”
My eyes flicker to his crotch through his jeans and then back up to those piercing ocean blues. “Ti guiro su Dio, Santo.”
“Fuckkk,” he moans. “Don’t do that, baby.”
I giggle. “Do what?”
“Seduce me in Italian when I’m already turned on.”
“But I don’t even know Italian! I just said four words!”
“Trust me, that’s enough.” Saint smirks as he takes a cherry from the bowl with a long stem. “I definitely need deflection now, so let me show you this apparent talent of mine.”
Saint’s bedroom eyes never leave mine as he sexily tugs the stem off with his teeth and shuts his mouth, obviously moving the stem around inside.
Mmhmm.
This is easily the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life.
I stare at him in such fascination, pure awe as it only takes him a few seconds before he opens his mouth and holds out the knotted cherry stem with his teeth. Whoa.
Gasping, I take the knotted stem out of his mouth and the heat between my thighs intensifies as I cross my legs together on the floor, feeling my sex throbbing wildly. It’s then I glance back up at Saint beneath my lashes and moan out in satisfaction, “Impressive.”
The sexual tension between us is extremely high as our extended stare only becomes more heated. My nipples harden against my bra and I know exactly what Saint means with the way he’s looking at me… the quiet evening after dinner plans we had are definitely not going to last. It’s our first night living together, and I want to explore everything that comes with it. Sex can come a little later.
Yeah, right.
What a farfetched thought that is, Paisley.
“Sooo.” I half laugh to myself. “You never told me how today went with Nico.”
Well, that seemed to do the trick because at the sound of Nico’s name Saint groans and rubs his face. We begin eating some of the cherries and Saint sighs. “It didn’t.”
It didn’t? Huh?
My brows knit in confusion as my chewing slows. “What do you mean?”
“Well, apparently word around the city travels quickly. Didn’t even realize at the time, but there are tabloids everywhere of the incident yesterday. There are a couple photos of you and me coming out of the hospital, but I don’t give a fuck. Either Nico saw them or spoke with Alaric, but he practically told me to fuck off and laughed in my face when I mentioned expanding the fitness studio to Seattle. So I quit.”
“You quit?” I gasp. “But you’re the co-founder.”
“I know I am,” Saint says, leaning his head against the couch as his hand slips through mine. “But quite honestly, I’m at a stage in my life where I’m happy with what I have. Don’t want to cause any drama, so I’m going to let him buy my portion and was thinking of opening another fitness studio in Seattle that’s completely my own. But then that had me thinking about the early hours and late nights. Now, I start as early as four thirty some days, finish as late as eleven some nights. If I open my own place in Seattle, there won’t be the flexibility I have with Nico here. I want to start a family with you one day, Pais. Want to be right there beside you for every step. Opening my own fitness center will be crazy wild, and while I’m capable, I just want to enjoy time with my family. I want to be there for the one a.m. wake-up calls when our baby can’t sleep, the early morning school drop-offs, the date nights with you. So I thought about something that allowed all that.”
My heart warms at the fact that he’s not only thinking about himself, alongside us, but our future family too. That truly says something about the type of man he is.
“What’s that?” I ask, loving to know more.
Saint’s eyes sparkle. “Thinking about opening up a shelter for mental health sufferers, the homeless, and survivors of all types of violence. Volunteer work. Food runs. Accommodation. Listening to people’s stories. Lifting them up. Providing them therapy and assisting them in getting back on their feet and working. Profits would come from myself and sponsors. Part of everything we make will go into the charity, Silent Hearts, which I created a few years back to assist sufferers of mental health, homelessness, and domestic violence to find themselves again. I’ve had the charity for so long, but it wasn’t in my hands, you know… ain’t afraid to face it anymore.”
“Aww, that is such a beautiful idea, Santo. It’s so touching and heartwarming. You’re a great motivator and so very inspiring. A shelter is the perfect step forward. It’ll help so many lives, save so many too. I think it’s truly your calling.”
“I think so too.” Saint smiles the brightest, squeezing our hands together. “But if I really want to start something, I want to get the ball rolling now. Oversee a property to buy in Seattle and figure out all the logistics and finances. Thought also it could have a gardening section, some tips from yours truly. You, if you want to. Guess it’s a form of therapy too. Giving something substance and watching it grow. I’m going to work at the fitness studio until we leave for Seattle, but already reduced my hours. Told Nico I want the mornings and evenings off. Need time to spend with my wildflower when she isn’t brightening up the florist.”
“You’re so beautiful, inside and out, Santo.” I kiss his cheek, feeling myself melt right here next to him. “I’d love to do that. Love that you’re thinking about us as a family one day.”
He smirks. “Let’s allow you to enjoy college first, all right?”
“All right. But I’ve already got baby fever, so these four years are going to kill me.”
“Well, we can still think about names now…” With his free hand, Saint brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear and smiles as his thumb brushes over my lips. “Look around for a house that’ll suit a growing family… Write a list of all the sports our future children will play…”
“Yes!” I laugh, the funniest scenario conjuring in my head. “You’re going to be such a coach, telling our son to do five pushups every time he runs past you.”
“Yes, and he’ll just be like, ‘Who the heck is my dad’?”
“Bet you all those ‘rules suck’ comments will bite you in the ass. I feel like our kids will be complete cyclones. I just hope stomping all over my flowers isn’t in their blood.”
Saint bursts out laughing. “Definitely in their blood. But don’t you worry, baby, we’ll put one of your crazy signs up and make our children stare at our garden like it’s a museum. ‘Look, but don’t touch’.”
“They’re going to hate us.” I giggle.
“Love us,” he murmurs against my lips. “They’re going to love us to bits, just like we do.”
I smile. “If you say so.”
“I know so.”
Saint sensually pecks my lips and we’re grinning when we pull away. I know so too.
He slowly glances between my eyes, sentiments gushing through his gaze as he cups my jaw and whispers, “I want you to meet my family, Paisley. It’s the last piece of us. When your wrist heals up real nice, come to Santa Rosa with me. My mom and Nonna have been calling like crazy ever since the news of the crash, so I wanted to visit soon… and I want you to come with me. I’ve never introduced a girl to my family before, ever, so they already know you’re something special.”
My eyes turn glassy with emotion. “You… you want me to meet your family?”
“More than anything in the world. I know they’re going to adore you already.”
“Yes.” I smile, bringing him into a tight embrace that I never want to let go of. “I want nothing more than to meet the two women you love the most too. Nothing more, Santo.”
“With you right here, it’s three women I love. Always will be.”
Moments pass in pure and utter comfortable silence filled with nothing but pure love. Meeting Saint’s family… that’s huge for me, but something I so desperately would love too.
“Okay,” Saint says after a little while and stands up. “Let me get that surprise for you before I spend the rest of the night kissing you instead. Wait here, babydoll.”
“Not going anywhere!” I grin back, as Saint disappears upstairs two steps at a time. Returning my gaze to the television, I pop a juicy sweet cherry in my mouth and feel my heart melt away.
Not going anywhere, my blue-eyed boy.
Saint’s back moments later completely shirtless, holding a few pieces of paper, two gray led pencils, and an eraser. Huh?
My lips curve into a smug smirk as I eye his abs. Well, I like this very much. He chuckles when he sees the mixture of bewilderment and satisfaction on my face. “You’re confused, right?”
“Just a little.”
“Well, it will all make sense in a minute.”
Saint retakes his position beside me but doesn’t sit down yet as he lowers the volume of the television. “So I kind of did something today after I bought the Lamborghini…”
“Seems like you did a lot today while Maralyn and I were talking our ears off.”
“But I like it when you talk your ears off,” he teases, and my heart skips a beat as he sets the pieces of paper on the coffee table and winks at me before turning around… and then I see it.
I gasp, staring at his lower back in complete awe. “Santo!”
“You like it? The tattoo artist who’s a friend thought I was crazy for getting more ink after all the shit that happened yesterday, but I couldn’t wait anymore. I wanted to do it, Pais.”
Standing up, my finger grazes down his back where a few bruises from the incident are. I weave across the preexisting cross and angel wings he had there, but as my hand reaches his lower back and brushes over the plastic tattoo wrap, I completely lose my breath.
Wow.
I can feel the rapid beats in my chest at the pad of my fingers, those pitter-patters going wild as I trace over the plastic, over the tattoo by his lower back that he redid that previously read Lea. Now, the Lea is gone and instead the script writing reads, Wildflower, alongside all different types of roses, lilies, and daises surrounding the word in beautiful black and white shading, with a little tinge of blue over the lilies. It’s a tribute. A tribute to me. Only me.
Saint remembered.
Saint remembered lilies were my favorite flower and the reasons behind it.
“Santo, it’s so beautiful! I’ve never…” I get all teary-eyed seeing the breathtaking tattoo because it means the world to me. “I’ve never felt like this before… so happy.”
I take it in a little longer, hot tears trailing down my cheeks as the warm smile continues to rise on my lips. The second Saint turns around, I jump into his arms and they wrap around me with so much security, holding me so close to him. I’m careful of my plaster cast as I wrap my arms around his neck, looking down at him lovingly.
I know Saint. I know what his tattoos mean to him. It’s much more than just a tattoo or collection of tattoos together. Every brush of ink has a significant meaning and reasoning behind. To have me tattooed on his skin… it only confirms how much we’re a forever thing.
Those ocean blues I’ll always love warmly stare back at me, so much emotion in his gaze as my vision continues to blur. “You really did that for me? It’s so stunning. I can’t believe you got it done,” I murmur against his lips, my voice breaking at the final words. “You went over Lea’s name when you’ve had it for such a long time. What if you regret it?”
“I’ll regret it more if I don’t have you with me everywhere I go because I love you with every inch of my heart. Every inch, baby,” Saint whispers. “My story with Lea… your mother… it’s over. It has been since a long time ago, but yesterday really gave me a lot of closure when everything was revealed. My life isn’t Lea, it never was. It’s been you, Paisley Reign. I love you more than words exist. That’s why I need to have my wildflower on me, every day, everywhere I go, because you remind me of home. Only you.”
Because you remind me of home.
Only you.
Cupping Saint’s jaw with my good hand, I rub my fingers over his stubble, tracing the deep dimples on his cheeks as he grins at me so damn beautifully. Everything inside me explodes as I grin back, my heart beating wildly. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Santo, the very best thing. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you for turning my life around.”
“You’re not the only one who’s feeling that way, babydoll.”
“I’m glad.”
“Surprise, wildflower.” Saint smirks and then my lips are on his, kissing him with everything I have as his warmth becomes mine and I show him just how glad I am that I found him. He kisses me back fondly, addictively, as if nothing else matters… because it doesn’t.
We continue kissing for what feels like forever, getting more urgent with tender moans by the second. So much love. So much resolution glossing over the people we once were and the ones we are together. We’ve grown together, mended our flaws, found love unexpectedly no matter how forbidden or bittersweet for people that don’t expect love because all that matters is him and me…
Nobody else…
Nobody else but us…
I giggle as he spins us around before setting me down on my feet. It’s then he picks up the sheets of paper from the coffee table and turns them around.
“Wow,” I say, glancing over the first page, which is full of rendered and shaded designs of all different varieties of flowers. I see roses, irises, lilies, and so many others. A few different versions of veins, leaves, and thorns make a feature, as well as a beautifully drawn compass, which is so lifelike and 3D, almost as if it’s popping out of the page with its detail and the P&S etched into the metal edge. All the other few pieces of paper are blank, ready to be drawn on.
“What’s this all about, Santo?”
“I want to get my left arm tattooed in a complete sleeve too, but this time I want it filled with flowers, this stopwatch to show how time is the essence of all great things and everything that we are. So, I did a little mockup of some of the flowers and thorns, but I think we should design it together. Want to think of you every time I look at it. What do you say?”
There’s this tang in my chest as Saint wipes away my tears. I’ve never felt this complete in my life. So special.
“I think that’s the craziest idea in the world!” I lift my eyes to him in pure intrigue and awe. “And guess what? I LOVE it!”
“I’m so happy to hear that because I love it too.” Saint grins, holding me tight in his strong arms as he pulls me even closer. Strong arms that I know I’ll be safe wrapped in forever. “Gotta get these flowers tattooed on me. Want to have you on me forever. A permanent reminder of exactly who we are from this moment forward. There’s not going to be a day in my life where I’ll regret it because I’ll never regret loving you, my wildflower.”
Oh my… My heart.
I grin up at Saint, so crazy in love with my beautiful Italian blue-eyed boy. I adore him with more love than I ever knew existed as he continues his touching speech.
“I’m going to have your favorite flowers tattooed on my skin to remind me of you, Paisley Reign, and to represent the beauty of our love that’s bloomed. Going to have thorns to represent all the hardships along the way that have all evidently led me back to you. Then, I want your name written in the flowers, in striking cursive, because I want every fucking person in this world to know you’re mine. And next… next, I want the words in the piece of poetry that you wrote me etched on my skin. Want the title right there with it. Want to look at it every day, want to look at you every day, want to look at us every day and know we’ve made it. Going to have that piece of poetry written out across my back, beside the cross. Going to have it wrap around the left side of my chest, so it’s script. Going to have it in a way you sign your signature by my heart, ’cause you’re the only woman in it. My world is tattoos, yours is flowers… so, let me immortalize you with them both because that’s how much I love you. I’ll love you forever, my forever girl.”
Six Weeks Later…
The conditions I’ve reduced Saint to in the last month and a half living together. I’m laughing in my head just thinking about some of them.
Late night self-care face masks.
Morning yoga to stabilize the mind.
Therapeutic bubble baths that always end in him devouring me.
It’s a good thing he has the patience and really loves me… but this one right now tops the cake. It feels like we’re less than a minute away from passing the ‘Welcome to Santa Rosa’ sign on the highway when I tell Saint to come up with an impromptu song about Santa Rosa.
“No wayyy!” Saint’s booms through my helmet in the Bluetooth intercom. “Nah ah!”
I’m riding on the back of his Harley, hands tight around his waist as we make our way to Saint’s homeland. In just a few minutes I’m going to be meeting his mom and Nonna for the first time and I couldn’t be more excited to finally be with the ones he loves the most.
“Oh, come on!” I giggle as his metal beast speeds closer and closer toward the city he grew up in. “Once it becomes catchy, I’ll sing along too!”
“Why about Santa Rosa, though?”
“Because it represents who you are and is also iconic of everything we are… Santa is Santo…. Rosa is Rose. That’s two of the things I love most in the world… you and flowers. It couldn’t be more perfect!”
“All right, you got me,” Saint sexily murmurs, and I can hear the smile in his voice. Bringing his left hand off the handlebar, his leather gloved hand moves to his waist, over my left hand, and threads our fingers together. I giggle as he brings my left hand to his lips, kissing my skin softly. “Anything for you, babydoll. Anything for you.”
I was allowed to finally take off the cast at the start of the week and gosh how much better it feels. No more pain and no more not being able to do anything. It’s such a relief. I grin at the sweet gesture, knowing how much this call means to us both. It’s one step closer to Seattle. One step closer to our future.
Although there are still some slight nerves whenever we’re on the road together after the car accident almost two months ago, I just keep on reminding myself that we weren’t in the wrong and it gives me ease and confidence in our travels. Besides, Saint’s such an attentive driver and rider… even when he’s riding the Harley with one hand.
I can’t stop the laughter that escapes me as Saint starts singing the best impromptu song about Santa Rosa just as we fly past the welcome sign and into the city. It’s such a belly laughter that I feel it from the pit of my stomach and all up my body. Being with Saint makes me so happy. His quirky and hilarious side is such an added bonus.
Leaning my helmet against his shoulder, I grin at his beautiful voice. Damn, this man can sing. It’s a sultry, sexy, gravely perfection… a perfect mixture between Ed Prosek and James Gillespie, and the soft compelling melody takes me to places beyond return. It’s not his voice that I’m laughing at, but rather the lyrics as he sings about me and his nonna becoming best friends when we’re in Santa Rosa because she’ll bribe me with Italian food, him accidentally on purpose forgetting to pack facemasks for us while we’re here, and loving falling in love with a forbidden kind of girl. The melody even turns a little country meets rock and I enjoy it so much.
We’re laughing the rest of the ride and talk about anything and everything that we are.
It’s the middle of July and we’ve had such a beautiful summer so far. Whenever we’re not working, we’re soaking up the last few weeks we have here in sunny Sacramento. From discovering new beaches, to decorating his home, to riding around on his Harley from dusk to dawn watching the surreal sunrises and sunsets, to weekend getaways to Stinson Beach, to flower shows and so much more… it’s all been a dream. An absolute dream.
I’m going to miss the warm beaches and late-night swims, but the calming rain and possibilities in Seattle will be such a welcomed relief. Saint and I have passed the last six weeks simply enjoying one another and becoming lost in our little word. Saint’s flower sleeve tattoo on his right arm and the poetry piece I wrote him is now tattooed on his left side, curling across to his chest, the signature I handwrote with the tattoo gun right by his heart.
It’s such a beautiful tribute to everything that we are and so special to me. I love Saint so much, so seeing my words of poetry that I wrote specifically for him inked on his skin… it means so much to me. I fall asleep every night in his arms, my fingers tracing every word and his lips on mine.
I’d like to say the situation with my father has simmered, but it hasn’t and is the complete same. He won’t answer my calls, nor take one step into understanding, and while it hurts, I’ve learned to accept the things we cannot control. And as unfortunate as it is, my relationship with my father, or lack thereof should I say, is beyond my control.
Today was my last day working at the florist and between Maralyn and I both, we cried a river. We promised we would stay in touch and see each other regularly, even though I would be two states north soon. So, it was the perfect time to spend some time away in Santa Rosa.
We’ve also bought a house in Madison Park, Seattle, sight unseen. It was a gorgeous home that Giulio designed with a developer, and I was so in love with everything about it from the pictures and virtual tour the relator gave us via FaceTime. What I loved most about it is that it overlooks Lake Washington and the beautiful glimmering water will be our view forever.
A couple of weeks ago a huge blow-out between Nico and Saint saw the process of him giving Nico full rights of the fitness studio fast-tracked, so now it’s completely out of his hands. It pains me a little that Saint had to sacrifice his friendship with both Nico and Leo (and my father) for our love, but it brings comfort knowing Saint wants this relationship more than anything. Both Nico and Leo have sided with Alaric, hating how Saint hid it all from them. Nico and Leo feel like they can’t trust him anymore, and that hurts. A bittersweet hurt. I only hope with time these wounds will heal. If one day Nico, Leo, and my father turn around and accept us, then that will be beautiful, but if they don’t, that’s okay too. They’ll just be missing out on knowing the greatest man to ever exist in this world.
Saint
“WOW! You’re beautiful!” My mother grins the second she sees Paisley, grinning as she pulls her into a tight hug right here in the driveway of my nonna’s house. My mother’s light blue eyes land on mine as they embrace, and I swear they haven’t been any warmer… prouder.
Seeing two of the strongest women I’ve ever known together makes me so happy. I don’t have a big family—it’s only my mom, my nonna, auntie, and my cousin, Enrico—but I adore them more than life. Everything I do is for my family, and so it means the world to me that they’re loving Paisley just as much as I do and are accepting of our love.
My mother throws me a thumbs-up and as she pulls away from Paisley, can’t stop staring at her in awe. “It’s so nice to finally put a face to the name. Santo’s been talking about you nonstop. Now I see why!”
Paisley glances over at me and beams. “Oh, has he now?”
Oh yeah, they’re definitely going to be best friends.
I feel my cheeks flush as my mother simply smirks at me. “Oh my God, Mom. Stop.”
She snickers and leans toward Paisley. “You see that, honey? Look how red his cheeks are getting. He’s totally into you, not that you needed the confirmation. I’ve never seen him like this before!”
“Mom, give Paisley some space.” I laugh.
“She sees your face all day, let her see the face of the woman who made you!”
“Oh, God.”
My mom smiles devilishly and turns to her. “He’s a sweetheart, isn’t he?”
“A complete gentleman.” Paisley grins back. “It’s so nice to finally meet you too, Mrs. Lisconti. It’s an honor.”
“Oh, the honor is all mine, and please call me Cecilia.”
The second I pull my mother in a tight embrace and her rose scent consumes me, life couldn’t be more perfect. I haven’t seen her in a long few months, so it feels so nice to see her so happy as she squeezes me hard and reaches up to her tippy toes to whisper in my ear, “She’s beautiful, Santo. Inside and out. I can already tell she’s the one for you.”
I kiss her cheek. “I feel the same, Ma.”
“I’m so glad you brought her home! I love you.”
“Ti amo anch’io, mamma.”
I love you too, mamma.
I’m grinning as I pull away and love that both my mother and my wildflower are too. Paisley is just about to say something when the front door swings open and my nonna comes rushing out with a wooden spoon with Italian sauce dripping from it. I can’t help but run to her and embrace her so tightly. My nonna is my everything and I love her dearly. Her wisdom, her charisma, her humor… it’s what makes home, home. And I’m just so happy Paisley’s here with me too, because she’s my home too.
“I missed you so much, Nonna!”
“Me too, Santo!” She grins, her eyes traveling down, and she lets out a dramatic gasp as she pauses at my legs. “Oh Dio, Santino. What happened to your jeans? Did you have a crash on your way here and ripped your jeans at the knee? Did you hurt yourself, bello?”
Throwing my head back in laugher, I glance down at my distressed ripped jeans and shake my head. “No, Nonna, I promise I’m okay. This is just the way these jeans are made.”
Her eyes widen in horror. “Gesù Cristo. I was about to get out my sewing kit!”
Chuckling, I pull her into another warm hug and she sways us from side to side. “Ti prometto che sto bene, nonna.”
I promise I’m okay, Nonna.
“Bravo.”
Good.
Before I can introduce her to Paisley, my nonna slips the wooden spoon laced in pasta sauce in my mouth. “Tell me if it’s okay, Santo. I’m making your favorite meatballs because Nonna is the best.”
Chuckling, I nod as I swallow down the delicious sauce and my eyes almost turn into hearts. “It’s perfect, just like always, Nonna. There’s somebody I want you to meet.” I turn around to Paisley with the deepest grin on my face, my heart spasming at the huge smile on hers too. So beautiful. As Paisley steps to my side, I take her hand in mine and kiss her cheek. Then, I glance back at my nonna and say, “This is Paisley, mia ragazza… La amo così tanto.”
This is Paisley, my girl… I love her so much.
The love in both my nonna’s and Paisley’s eyes is so pure and tender. So much love as my nonna steps forward and cups her face, even though she’s so much shorter than my girlfriend. A few seconds pass before my nonna whispers, “You love my grandson?”
Paisley smiles, her voice thick in emotion. “Very much so.”
“Then I love you too, gioia.”
The second they embrace, my heart explodes and my vision blurs in such happy tears. Never been the type of man to cry, but ever since I met Paisley that changed. It all changed for the better. Seeing her with my nonna… with my mom… it has me praying heaven is just as good as this because I don’t want to let her go into the next world. Want to hold onto her forever.
“Aww, baby.” Paisley smiles beautifully when she pulls away from my nonna and turns to me. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I try to laugh a little to ease the knot in my throat, but it ain’t any use because my forever girl notices. I know she does.
Cupping my stubbled jaw, Paisley glances at me with worry. “Everything okay, Santo?”
“Mhmmm, just glad you exist, that’s all.”
Paisley grins. The light freckles on her cheeks come out with the humid heat of Santa Rosa and the shining sun. “Ditto, my blue-eyed boy.”
I have no mercy and crash my lips on hers, holding her tight as I kiss her like I mean it. I feel her smile against my lips at my mom and Nonna, who don’t stop cheering, and it only makes the tears roll down my cheeks faster because Paisley Reign makes me feel this way. She makes me appreciate life so much, in a way I’ve never looked at it before. She makes me want to marry her. Have a family. Go to fucking Mars if she asked me to, because I would. I’d do anything for her.
We probably look like complete messes as we wipe away each other’s tears while laughing because life is fragile and precious, but God how beautiful it can be too.
“You turned my son into a crier,” my mom teases. “I love it. I love it when my son feels all these emotions. Makes me know his father and I have done a good job bringing him up.”
“Your son has a heart of gold, Cecilia. A pure heart of gold.” And then Paisley laughs. “It’s funny because when we first met, I was just a kid and I hated him because he stepped on my flowers when he moved in next door to me.”
My mom playfully shakes her head at me, while my nonna clasps her hands together with a gasp. “Gesù Cristo, Santo! How many flowers have you destroyed in your life?”
I furrow my brows in confusion. “What do you mean, Nonna?”
She glances at Paisley. “When Santo was a little boy, he helped me with gardening. One day, my friend Maria called, so I went inside the house for five minutes just to have a little talk. Then, when I finished, I stepped outside and my beautiful roses… all gone! This little bastardo cut them all out. They were the most beautiful flowers in the world.”
I chuckle, remembering this story now. It’s pure gold. Don’t know how I forgot. “Kind of not the best thing you want to hear, right, Paisley?” I turn back to my nonna. “Tell her about what you did after.”
“Well, I did what anybody else would have done. I chased him around the yard with a garden hose. I couldn’t catch up to him. He has legs like a bloody frog, but the water got him.”
Paisley can’t stop laughing alongside all of us. My mom is wiping away happy tears from her eyes and I’m honestly doing the same. It’s so nice to see the three women I love the most all here together.
My nonna claps her hands once more and turns to me. “So, when you gotta get married? They stopped making my favorite lipstick, so I gotta use it for the wedding before it finishes.”
Paisley’s cheeks heat and I chuckle, feeling mine do just the same. “I’m sure we can help you find another lipstick before, Nonna…”
“Nope.” She shakes her head and grins. “You marry Paisley. I make the meatballs for the wedding. Deal?”
It’s heaven being in my nonna’s house again after so many months in Sacramento. It takes me back so many years… so much nostalgia of being a little kid and racing up and down the backyard I’m currently looking out at through the kitchen. The same backyard my mom and Paisley are walking around, talking, and laughing. This yard takes me back so much. Making the tomatoes with my grandparents during Pomodoro season. The sausages during the celebrations. Everything is so vivid and in exactly the same space it once was. It even smells the same, gorgeous, sweet citrus mixed with ripe peaches and zesty lemon.
I remember the races my father and I used to have from the fence and back, how he’d always let me win by accidentally tripping or creating some sort of disadvantage for myself. Now, I look around and while all the nature around me is the same, the people that made this place so vibrant and lived in have condensed to two. Three with Paisley. I’ve got everything to lose, and I used to hate that feeling. Now it’s hope for me. Hope that with time Paisley and I can start our own little family in a few years’ time, and we can watch them run around this yard simply enjoying life.
Voluntarily helping Nonna with prepping the apple pie we’re having later tonight, I peel the apples with a knife because that’s as Italian as it gets, while my nonna cuts the apples into long, thin slices. Santa Rosa means a lot to me. I rediscovered my love of boxing here and put all of my dedication into training, working hard, and began playing at a professional level. From that moment, Santa Rosa wasn’t just home to me—it was my happy place, as well as Marin County and Stinson Beach.
There are memories here.
A second chance.
Life is better… much better… just like it is today with Paisley by my side.
Paisley.
God… I love her so much.
“JESUS CROSS!”
Jesus Cross? Isn’t it Jesus Christ?
“Huh?” I glance over at my nonna, whose eyes are practically bulging out of their sockets as she motions to my hands. “Look! Look what you’re doing, Santo!”
I glance down to observe the mess I’ve made, laughing when I’ve peeled the apple down to the core. “Well, I guess I’m going to make a terrible husband, aren’t I?”
Nonna smiles, playfully slapping my cheek with a hand towel. “No, bello. God will forgive you for that. But he won’t for all the tattoos. Every time I see you, you have more!”
“What’s wrong with my tattoos?” I ask, as if we haven’t had this conversation since getting my first at sixteen. Yeah, I wasn’t going to wait another two years for it.
“The devil will take you with those tattoos!”
That has me grinning.
“But I like the devil, Nonna,” I joke.
Nonna gasps and playfully hits me again with the towel. “Cosa hai detto?”
What did you say?
I smirk. “Ho detto… Portami a chiesa.”
I said… Take me to church.
“FINALLY!”
Paisley can’t shake the grin off her face as we slip into bed in my nonna’s guest bedroom that night, and neither can I. The thrill of it all just feels so good… having Paisley in my heart like this feels so good.
“I didn’t think I could love you more than I do,” she whispers, tracing her fingers over the completed tattoo of her poetry piece and the completed left sleeve tattoo filled with flowers, a stopwatch and everything that we are. “But then I saw you with your mom and your nonna and I felt so alive… so happy to know you. It’s been so beautiful seeing just how much you adore your family and how much you value it over everything else.”
As Paisley falls asleep in my arms tonight, I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I watch her so beautifully against me. I brush my knuckles over the soft skin on her cheek, feeling the action brushing over my heart. I may not have been a perfect man at the start of our relationship, I may have had falls, but lying with her tonight as the stars twinkle in the night skylight above, I feel my flaws flutter away and transform into scars of strength.
Everything is perfect.
Everything is perfect because I have her.
A soft knock at the bedroom door flickers my gaze there.
“Santo? You still up, dear?”
It’s my mom.
Slowly slipping out of bed, I’m careful to not wake Paisley after the busy day we’ve had as I slip on my navy satin sleep pants. I greet my mom with a warm smile as I step out of the bedroom and softly shut the door behind me. She has her pink nightgown wrapped around her and her dark hair pulled back in a high bun, grinning at me.
“Hey, everything okay, Ma?”
“Yeah, perfectly okay. There’s just something I wanted to say to you. It wouldn’t get out of my mind all night, so I know I just need to say it to you before I head to bed.”
I cross my arms over my bare chest and nod. “Go on.”
“Well…” Her smile remains, but emotion clouds it as she swallows thickly and glances up at me. “I just wanted to say I know it hasn’t been easy growing up without your dad. He was such a hero to us and I miss him dearly, but what I miss the most is seeing the awe in his eyes every time you excelled in life. Your father was so proud of you, Santo. Every single day he was. He still is. You know what he always used to say to me?”
I shake my head, afraid that if I speak my voice will break.
“He always used to say…”
I reach out and pull my mom to me as emotion takes over her voice. Rubbing her back softly, I kiss her cheek and whisper, “Breathe, Mamma. Take a breath and tell me.”
She sniffles and nods with a sad smile as her blue eyes land on mine. “Your father always used to say he just wanted you to be happy and seeing you today with Paisley only reminded me of that. I’m so grateful you two found each other, Santo. She’s an angel and I know how much she means to you because you’ve never brought home another woman. I know the revelations you uncovered a few weeks ago were shocking. I was shocked too that Lea is her mother, but that doesn’t change anything. Lea didn’t deserve you. She ruined you, Santo, and you were too good of a man to see it at first. But now you do, and I’m glad, because Paisley is the woman for you and I’m so happy you both worked past it. Life is so bittersweet, you know that already, bello, so I’m just so happy you’re going to be sharing some of life’s sweetness with her.” My mom reaches out and softly cups my jaw while she glances between my eyes. “Your father would be so proud of you. So proud of the man you’ve become because of Paisley.”
Gulping down the emotion in my throat, I nod and smile widely at my mom. “Thank you, Mom. I know he would be proud too, and not only of me, but of you too. I’m so happy you love Paisley as much as I do. She means everything to me. It just hurts a little that it all had to go south with her father. I wish Alaric could just understand that I love his daughter more than anything and will never do anything to hurt her.”
“I know. It’s such a tough thing. Do you see him ever changing his views?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “But I really don’t see us ever getting our friendship back. I miss him, you know. He was a good friend, but I can live without it. It’s Paisley I feel worse for. He’s her only family and I just want everything to be perfect for her.”
My mom nods. “I understand but look at it this way. You told Alaric everything you could. Now, it’s up to him. I know it was a shock, but love should be celebrated, all kinds of love. It shouldn’t matter that Paisley’s only eighteen or you were his close friend. He should see that and know he can trust you with her life. Your age gap with Paisley… who gives a shit about it. When you know, you know. I was eighteen when I had you and look how far your father and I made it. Age is only a number. It’s what’s in your heart that matters.”
It’s what’s in your heart that matters.
I smile down at my mom as I pull her into another comforting embrace. “I couldn’t agree more. Love should be celebrated, all kinds, no matter the risks. Which is why…” We pull away and I glance back into her glassy blue eyes. I clasp her hands in mine and admit to her something I’ve kept hidden in my heart for the past three weeks since I custom designed it…
Something I know we both so desperately crave…
Something Paisley has no idea about… yet.
My mom grins in curiosity. “Which is why what?”
“Which is why tomorrow… I’m asking Paisley to spend the rest of her life with me.”
Later that night as I lie in bed beside Paisley once more, I can’t help but itch for my phone on the nightstand and pull up Alaric’s contact. I know we haven’t spoken since the day everything exploded in all our faces. I know it’s just after midnight. I know he won’t give a shit… But as much as I’m not in the slightest a traditional type of guy, I still feel in my heart of hearts this is the right thing to do. I won’t be able to forgive myself if I don’t at least try one last time.
SAINT: I’m not asking for your acceptance or understanding… I know I may never get that, Alaric. We’ve all been through a lot. I know it’s a shock. I know it’s tough. I know you’re hurting, but I’ve learned time heals all wounds and I hope one day you can realize that too. All I want is a little closure, a little peace, a little resolution, if not for me, then for Paisley. She loves you. Always will. She’s your daughter, your only child. Please don’t lose sight of that in all of this. She deserves much more than this silence from you. I love your daughter, Alaric. I love her with all that I am. It’s why I vow to always protect her. Always cherish her. Always support her, for however long I shall live. It’s why I’ll never stop loving her… Why I’m going to propose to Paisley tomorrow. I just want you to know all of this, because you still matter to us. To me. To her. No matter how much it seems as though she doesn’t need you, she still does. Trust me. I know because I would do anything to spend another second with my father. I know because I feel Paisley deserves more than what you’re giving her right now. And I know deep down in my heart of hearts… you feel the same way too.
Sent.
Delivered.
Now it’s the waiting game…
My heart is pounding as Paisley stirs by my side, and I bring my lips to her forehead until her soft breaths stabilize. Smiling, I turn back to my phone, a little stunned to see that the message doesn’t have ‘delivered’ down below anymore but ‘read’ now.
Alaric’s reading this… he’s seeing it at least.
After a few minutes, those haunting three bubbles appear, notifying me that Paisley’s father is typing. Hope. This could be some hope. And then, just like that, the typing bubble disappears and I feel my heart drop into my fucking stomach.
Completely restless, I stay wide awake until 1:00 a.m.
I wait, and wait, and wait for Alaric…
But that reply… It never comes.
