It’s been over a week since London decided she was done with me. I can’t say I blame her. After all the bullshit, I couldn’t expect her to stick around. It wasn’t what I wanted, but naturally, I did what I do best.
I pushed her away just like I push everyone else away in my life that gets too close.
I couldn’t let her see that it was actually ripping me into pieces to have things end like this between us. I always knew it would come to this in the end. It’s such a crock of shit, the way my mind tricked me into thinking that I actually deserved some shred of happiness.
There’s a part of me that knows London is right. I need to get my shit together and start making my life better than it has been. I’m the only one who is in control of that. And London was the only one who could really make me see that.
Now I have to do it all on my own. There is something positive about it, though. If I can do it without her, then I can show her I was never using her as a crutch. I want to get my shit together to be the man she deserves. I want to give her the world, but I don’t know how to.
I didn’t have to be as cold as I was, but fuck it. It’s too late to take it back now. And somehow, I haven’t even run into London a single time. It’s like she completely vanished—and trust me, I’ve been watching for her. I’ve seen every other member of her family, but it’s like London knows my routine, so she knows exactly how to avoid us seeing each other.
I can’t say I blame her for that either. I really fucked up this time. I let my thoughts drag me back into the past and I shifted back into the person I was trying to not be. London never deserved that. She wasn’t even necessarily pissed off that Charlotte dropped me off. It didn’t look good and I could see why her first thought was that I slept with her.
After I explained, she seemed to understand, but that didn’t get me out of the doghouse. If anything, it just solidified everything she was saying. I needed to get my shit together before I ruined my life completely. I was under the misconception that it was already ruined because of my hockey career being ripped out of my hands, but I was wrong.
There are so many worse ways to ruin my life…
“Excuse me?” the man in front of me says as he waves his hands in front of my face. “Is anyone in there?”
I tear my eyes away from where I was staring off into the distance and focus on his face. It’s weathered with age and wrinkles form at the corners of his eyes as he smiles at me. “Sorry about that… I was lost in my thoughts.”
“It’s all right, son,” the older man tells me with a wink. “It happens to the best of us.”
I attempt to force a smile, but my lips just refuse to cooperate. Instead, I nod and grab the few items he has on the counter and begin to ring them up. “Is this everything?”
“Yep,” he says as he shifts his weight on his feet. I can feel his gaze on me as he watches me set his things into a few bags and finish ringing him up. He doesn’t even wait for me to tell him the total before handing me a one-hundred-dollar bill. “You’re Vaughn Carter, right?”
A lump instantly forms in my throat and I swallow roughly over it. “Yeah, that would be me,’ I mumble as I keep my eyes on the register and grab his change for him.
“Heard about your accident. It’s a shame what happened.” His gaze meets mine as I hand him the money. “I do have a proposition for you, though…”
I stare at him for a moment. The mention of what happened feels like a sting, but it doesn’t hurt as badly as it once did. I’ve had a lot of fucking time to think about getting over my past this last week… though I’m still a work in progress.
“What’s that?” I ask him, curiosity getting the better of me.
“I own IceWorks, the rink in town It’s only about a thirty-minute drive from here.” He pauses for a moment as he fishes his keys out of his front pocket. “I’m also the director of the hockey program we have there. I’m in need of some good coaches for our AAA kids. Have you ever thought about coaching before?”
His entire speech catches me off guard and it feels like the oxygen is quickly draining from the shop. In a way, I feel like I’m suffocating. “No.” I shake my head at him. “Kind of wrote off hockey since my career was ruined.”
The man frowns. “That’s too bad. Someone like you would be amazing for these kids. They’re all going places, but we don’t have the staff we need. Someone of your caliber could really help them get to the next level.”
“I haven’t even been on the ice since it happened,” I admit, my voice quiet as I don’t fully trust it in this moment.
He smiles at me. “That doesn’t mean a damn thing. Someone who played with your talent doesn’t just forget how to do it. It’s in your blood. Natural goddamn talent.” He pauses for a moment and pulls a business card out from his wallet. “My name’s Gill Davis. Think it over and stop by the rink sometime. You don’t have to make any commitments today and there’s certainly no obligation. Just come by and check out our program.”
I look down at the card, reading the name of the ice rink again and his name before glancing up at him. “Thanks,” I tell him as I set the card down on the counter and push his bags over to him.
“Just think about it,” he says again. “We could really use someone like you.”
“I will,” I assure him, although it’s something I’m not sure I’m ready to fully explore yet. Mr. Davis grabs his bags and wishes me a good day before he disappears from the shop.
I pick up the card again and read over it as his words play over in my mind. I’ve never once considered coaching. After my accident, I had completely written off hockey and anything that involved it. I wasn’t lying when I told him that I haven’t been on the ice since it happened.
There was no sense in me ever putting on a pair of skates again. Sure, it was something I had always enjoyed, but what is skating if I’m not able to play hockey? How could I even be sure that my knee would hold up for something like that?
My physical therapy exercises that I was told to do were something I had completely shelved. If I would have kept up with them, perhaps my leg would be stronger. Then again, it’s not too late for me to start doing them again. It’s not too late for me to change my future and the path I’m on.
If I want to be the man London deserves, this would be a step in the right direction. I just don’t know if it’s one I’m ready to take yet…
My phone vibrates from my front pocket and I reach for it as I replace it with the card Mr. Davis gave me. As I unlock the screen and go to my messages, I see that there’s a message from Maverick. We haven’t spoken since he showed up to warn me to stay away from his sister. Damn him for being right. He knew I was going to hurt her before I realized I would.
Maverick: Hey man… I know we exchanged some unpleasant words the other day and I know I threatened to drown you in the lake if you hurt my sister.
My jaw clenches as I read over his message. I don’t know where he’s really going with it and whether he plans on approaching me in a violent manner, I have no choice but to take it. It’s what I deserve.
Maverick: I know you guys aren’t seeing each other anymore. She told me she was the one who ended shit, so I suppose I can’t really be mad at you for it since you weren’t the one who hurt her.
Damn London. She didn’t lie to him, but she always didn’t throw me under the bus either. I was ultimately the one who hurt her and ruined things between us. I don’t know why the hell she was trying to save my ass instead of letting her brother drown me in the lake.
Vaughn: Yeah, I fucked things up. She came to her senses and realized I’m not in the right place to give her what she deserves right now.
Maverick: Thank God for that lol. Take it from someone else who has fucked up… it’s better this way.
I choke out a harsh laugh to myself as I read over his words. Now Maverick Hayes is comparing us to one another. He’s a completely different breed of person. I may have fucked up things, but he’s someone who constantly lives on the edge of potential alcohol poisoning.
Maverick: I’m having a party tonight. Stop over if you aren’t doing anything.
My stomach rolls at the thought of running into London. Of course I want to see her, but I don’t think it’s the best thing right now.
Vaughn: Is your sister going to be there?
Maverick: Probably not. I think she was going to Emery’s for the night.
I don’t really do the party scene anymore, although it would be a nice change from the misery I’ve been living in the past week. If London isn’t going to be there, then there’s no reason why I can’t stop by and have a beer or two. At least get my mind off the bullshit that has been weighing me down lately.
Vaughn: I might stop by. I’ll let you know.
Maverick: No need. Just show up if you want to.
I read over Maverick’s message again but choose not to respond. After my run-in with Mr. Davis, I could use a drink tonight. He opened up a whole new possibility to my life and I’m not sure which way to turn right now.
London won’t be there… what could one drink possibly hurt?
