After spending the night—and morning—with James, I was on cloud fucking nine. I drove her to class, popped back home for a few, then headed to campus, where I spent the day basking in a perfect post-sex high.
Okay, so I wasn’t overly focused on my lectures. Economic theory was going in one ear and out the other while I daydreamed about various naughty scenarios—with the odd hockey-related tangent thrown in—but I was in a good mood, at least.
Dallas, on the other hand, was not so chipper. Like he was brooding underneath a massive black cloud. I’d seen him in passing on my way out the door, and he was grouchy as hell. When I’d said “see you later,” he’d grunted. Snarled might have been a more accurate descriptor.
By the time practice rolled around in the late afternoon, his mood hadn’t improved. He barreled into the dressing room and threw his bag down on the bench beside me like it had personally offended him.
I finished pulling on my socks and glanced up at him with a questioning look. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” he said under his breath.
Right…
“Are you and Shiv okay?” I asked, trying to catch his eye. “I thought I heard you two arguing this morning.”
Over Dallas’s shoulder, Tyler widened his eyes, shaking his head emphatically. Whoops. Too late now.
Dallas avoided my gaze. “Dunno.” He bent over and unzipped his bag, then pulled out his socks and base layers and worked on removing his street clothes.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” I said, fastening my shin pads. “How can you not know?”
Ty cleared his throat loudly and shot me a what the fuck look. But subtlety had never been my strength, and it was a genuine question. My relationship experience was obviously pretty limited, but wouldn’t one know if their relationship was okay or not? Didn’t people talk to each other? Especially when they’d been together as long as Dallas and Shiv.
“Just worried about you,” I added gingerly. “You’ve been off all day.”
“Look,” he said. “I take it that you finally got laid, and I’m happy for you, man. I really am. Shiv and I are not in a good place. We got into it at O’Connor’s.” Dallas yanked on his compression pants and stood, grabbing his base shirt. His jaw ticked. “Some dumb shit was hitting on her.”
Dallas had, shall we say, a mild jealous streak. Shiv did attract a lot of attention. Combine that with her refusal to fully commit, and he got a little touchy at times.
Tyler made a show of turning away, silently exiting the conversation. They’d probably already been through this, and Tyler’s usual blunt “just fucking deal with it” advice likely went over like a lead puck.
“Was she flirting back?” I asked.
“No. But she wouldn’t even say she had a boyfriend. Just told the dude that she was there with ‘someone.’ Like, what the fuck? I’m ‘someone’? So I told her, in or out. Decide.”
“Holy shit.” I pulled on my shorts, turning to face him. “Isn’t that kind of awkward if she’s staying with us?”
“Guess I’ll crash on the couch.”
“Are you serious?”
“I’m not sure.” Dallas hung his head. He raked a hand through his hair and looked at me, expression tense. Then he ducked in closer, lowering his voice. “I’m just fed up. I mean, come on. I have chicks all up on my jock left and right. But the only one I want can’t stomach calling me her boyfriend?”
It was ironic. Being hard to get was part of Shiv’s appeal early on. While so many other girls tried to land Ward by any means possible, like nudity or offering up blowjobs, Shiv wasn’t one of those chicks who liked the idea of landing a hockey player.
I understood the intrigue. I liked that about Bailey too. Being wanted for what I was rather than who I was had gotten old fast. But months later, Dallas only sort of had Shiv, and it wasn’t enough. I could see both sides. On the one hand, it was just a label. On the other, the label was kinda nice.
“Has she said what her issue with that is?”
“Something about her ex,” Dallas muttered. “Turned psycho and got possessive. She won’t give me any details.”
Bailey had sort of alluded to that too but hadn’t gotten into it. All I’d gathered was the dude was worse than Morrison, which meant he must be pretty fucking terrible.
“That’s rough.”
“Sure,” he agreed, stepping into his skates and lacing them up. “But obviously she knows I’m not a psycho by now.”
“Except when it comes to video games.”
Dallas made a face. “Ha ha. Fuck off.”
“Doesn’t really sound like a you problem.” Which meant he couldn’t fix it, but telling him that wouldn’t be helpful.
“I know, but how long do I put up with this? It’s been, like, five months. Almost six.”
“What’s the alternative?” I gestured. “Come on, man. Are you really going to end things with Shiv because you like her too much? You realize that sounds fucking stupid, right?”
Behind Dallas, Tyler snorted.
“Thanks, Ty.” Dallas drew in a breath. “And your brutal honesty is refreshing as always, Carter.”
Pulling on my shoulder pads, I shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
“I like that you’ve had a girlfriend for like, twelve hours, and suddenly you’re a goddamn relationship guru.”
“To be fair,” I said, “I’ve been calling out your stupidity for years.”
Dallas rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I gave up on yours. That shit would be a part-time job.”
“I’ll have you know I haven’t done anything stupid in at least a month or two.”
Admittedly, the summer had been rocky, and I’d made more than a handful of regrettable decisions. But fall had been smooth sailing. Mostly because of Bailey. Okay, solely because of Bailey.
“Pretty sure that’s a record,” he said, pulling his red captain’s jersey over his head.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Pretty sure it is.”
I was amped up on testosterone and refueled sexual frustration during practice, which meant I had no shortage of energy. Yeah, I was frustrated again. It would take a while to work that out of my system. A long while.
“Carter!” Dallas shouted.
I snapped back to reality in the middle of the rink. “What?”
“The puck?” He gestured. “Go get it. We’re done for today.”
“Oh, right.” I skated off to the side and retrieved it before hopping off the ice.
One would think finally having sex would temper some of my horniness, but instead, it fueled it. Now I was thinking about James twenty-four seven. That part wasn’t new, but the scenarios had heated up significantly.
Though I was still trying to reconcile what she told me at XS with how she was in my bed, because they were like night and day. Seemed like actually paying attention to her needs went a long way.
Christ. I felt sorry for chicks. Sometimes I wanted to mail a map of the clitoris and a fucking clue to other guys.
On the plus side, it made me look good in comparison.
After hitting the showers, I got dressed quickly and headed for Coach Miller’s office. I’d hoped weekly check-ins would go to the wayside now that my probation had ended, but I still had the pleasure of seeing his shiny bald head and stern, cranky face for one-on-ones every five to seven days.
“Hi, Coach.” I set down my bag, flopping into the seat across from him.
Hopefully, this would be another in-and-out meeting so I could go do literally anything else. Maybe hit the library before my last class to write my economics paper or text James or think about James instead of writing my economics paper. Ooh, James as a sexy librarian…goddamn it.
“Carter.” Coach Miller tented his fingers, furrowing his brow. “I’d like to talk to you about the game the other day. Tell me about the hit you made on that Morrison kid from Callingwood. The one where you got a charging penalty.”
Well, this wasn’t good. Last thing I needed was to get benched for our next game against Callingwood because Miller thought I was a liability.
I mean, I probably was. But I didn’t need him to know that.
I kept my expression neutral, my tone to match. “What do you mean?”
Dodging the Bullet 101: When sensing trouble, keep the other person talking to determine what, exactly, they know. Thus avoiding incriminating oneself.
Learned this one the hard way. Several times.
“You’re lucky they didn’t call a major penalty on you for that,” he said. “You went way out of position to hit him. Why?”
“Got carried away, I guess.” I shrugged.
“You never get carried away.” He narrowed his eyes, studying my face with the intensity of someone reviewing game tapes. “Don’t think I missed your verbal altercation with him beforehand. That hit was clearly personal.”
“Off day,” I said. “Won’t happen again.”
The lie detector determined: that was a lie.
He harrumphed, leaning back in his reclining desk chair. “Make sure you keep your head on straight out there. Your game was a little uneven too.”
He wasn’t wrong. The rest of the team wasn’t pulling their weight, either, but that didn’t excuse my lapse in performance.
“Noted, Coach.”
BAILEY
After the night with Chase, I spent the following day in a total daze. I’d phoned it in for my classes, squealed over the new developments with Zara and Noelle at the Callingwood Daily office, and thought about him way too often.
Then I had to meet Siobhan to discuss which apartment to go with and pretend like I had my brain together.
I did not.
And like I’d thought about apartments.
I had not.
Roughly speaking, I was about 90 percent ecstatic and 10 percent terrified. I had no reason to be terrified. No excuse for feeling that way. Things had been nothing but amazing. And that’s what scared me.
Being so high meant there was so much farther to fall.
“So,” Siobhan smiled at me expectantly across the table, “how are things?”
Heat creeped up my neck. Suddenly, the cafe felt like a sauna.
“Good.”
“Things with Chase, I mean.”
“Really good.”
She grinned. “Dallas wanted to bring people back to the house last night, and I told him no way.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, hiding behind the menu to conceal my blushing. “The alone time was nice.”
“Did I hear him call you his girlfriend before you guys left?”
I broke into a grin. “Yeah, he sure did.”
“That is adorable.” She made a puppy dog face.
“Right? It’s nice to finally make it official.” I set the menu down. “What about—I mean, you and Dallas. You guys still haven’t had that talk? If I’m being nosy, just tell me, and I’ll shut up. We can blame it on too much time with Chase.”
Shiv laughed at my last comment, then her expression sobered. “We had a fight about that last night, actually.” She pursed her lips, looking away.
“You did?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Some guy hit on me, and Dallas got pissy over it. I turned the guy down, so what does it matter? But then he tried to give me an ultimatum. I mean, he didn’t phrase it that way. It was more of an ‘are you in or not’ type of thing?”
I sucked in a breath. “How did you guys leave it?”
“A little frosty. But we’ve had this argument before. It’ll probably blow over.” She shrugged. “It’s not like I want to date anyone else.”
“But…” I prompted her.
She winced. “What if making it official changes things?”
“That doesn’t mean it’ll change for the worse,” I said gently. “It could change things for the better.”
At least that’s what I was hoping for with Chase. Not that there was much to improve on. But I felt more secure in our relationship now. Hopefully, I could work through some of my residual trust hang-ups. Might take a while, though.
Shiv frowned at her Diet Coke. “This is going to sound stupid. Like, really stupid. But I honestly never thought of it that way.”
“If Dallas was anything like your ex, you wouldn’t still be with him.”
“I know.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m crazy about the guy. He’s right there in front of me. The man’s perfect. What the hell is wrong with me?”
I shrugged. “Once burned, twice shy. I get it.”
“Honestly, I’m this close to taking the leap.” She held her thumb and pointer finger an inch apart. “I just need to wrap my head around it.”
After we ordered, our conversation turned to the reason we were here: living arrangements. At this point, we’d narrowed our apartment selections down to two. The unit I had liked initially, plus another new one that had come onto the market when its prospective tenant fell through at the last minute. It was one hundred dollars more per month, which wasn’t totally make-or-break, but still a factor.
Shiv took a sip of her drink, then slumped over the table. “I hate making decisions,” she said, muffled by her arm.
“Me too,” I admitted. Between the both of us, it was a tough combination. “The possession date for the first one is in four weeks. But the new unit on Pine is available almost immediately.”
“Right,” she said, glancing up at me. “As soon as we clear reference checks, get the deposit, and all of that.”
Shiv was fronting almost all of the deposit. She claimed not to care—Chase said her parents were loaded, which was probably why—but I hated feeling like I was freeloading.
Then my phone vibrated. I glanced down, expecting a text from Chase. But it was from Amelia: Found someone who wants your room. They want to move in within two weeks.
I wrote her back: Fine.
“Okay.” I locked my phone and set it down again. “Sorry about that. What are your thoughts on going with the unit on Pine? That was Amelia, and they found someone to take my room. I need to be out in two weeks.”
It wasn’t about the money so much as getting the hell out of there. And this was the push I needed. Being away from that toxic environment would be a relief.
The server set down Shiv’s chicken quesadilla, then my buffalo chicken sandwich.
“If it makes the decision for us, maybe all the better,” she said, dipping her quesadilla into the little bowl of salsa. “Then we don’t have to agonize over it.”
“Do we have an agreement then?”
“Yep.” She nodded, doing a little dance in her seat. “I’ll email the rental agent. I’m excited!”
“Me too,” I said honestly, grabbing my sandwich. With an escape plan solidified, food had never looked so good.
My phone vibrated again. I expected a snarky follow-up from Amelia, but it was a text from Zara.
Zara: Good news, bad news. Liam just quit. Sports section is all yours! But that means you need to cover that volleyball tournament out of town. Sorry, I know it’s short notice.
I let out a gasp. “Oh my god.”
Shiv frowned. “Everything okay?”
“Everything is great,” I said, staring at the screen in giddy disbelief. “I just got a promotion at the school newspaper.”
This was the experience I needed to build my portfolio for after college. If I landed the paid internship, the combination of the two would look seriously impressive to potential employers.
Except…this meant I’d be attending more Bulldogs games. And, like, interacting with the team to get quotes and conduct interviews.
Ugh. Talk about a double-edged hockey stick.
After finishing up dinner with Siobhan, I texted Chase about the volleyball tournament. Now that I was handling the entire sports section alone, it was even more imperative that I attend. Although I didn’t mind having an excuse to take a day trip with him.
Bailey: What’s your schedule like the Saturday after next?
Chase: Practice at eight Saturday, off Sunday.
Bailey: Perfect. I have an exciting proposition for you.
Chase: Keep talking.
Bailey: I’ve got my hands on a pair of super hot tickets to…
Bailey: Callingwood’s volleyball game in Roseford.
Chase: And I have the text version of blue balls.
Chase: Just kidding. If it’s with you, I’m down.
Bailey: It’s our team’s finals. But…it’s 1.5 hours away, early Saturday afternoon. Does that work? I would give you gas money.
Chase: Of course, and not a chance.
Bailey: You never let me pay for things.
Chase: Never will. Sorry, James.
