Ellie
“Thank you… you don’t have to do that,” I mumbled, trying to mask the pain and the exhaustion from my voice. Our last meeting had left a sour taste in my mouth and I felt a little ashamed that I’d slapped him. He had no right to kiss me when his wife had probably been upstairs waiting for him. I kind of lost control then, acted impulsively. His short but intense kiss was his weapon. It had pulled me back to my apartment and our night together.
Mack picked up all my shopping bags without saying anything. He looked awesome in a black coat and a red scarf around his neck. I felt worse, knowing that he was never going to be mine, that I had to keep away from him for the sake of his marriage.
“What happened to your hand?” he asked, concern in his voice.
I grimaced when I moved my hand. I wasn’t used to this kind of pain. My skin felt like it was literally on fire. “I had a little accident today in the kitchen at work.”
We were standing inside the building and his grey eyes were looking through me intensely. My heart skipped several beats, but I plastered Andrew’s face in front of me as a reminder that I didn’t sleep with married men anymore.
“First or second degree burn?”
“First, but it’s all right. It doesn’t hurt that much anymore,” I assured him, lying through my teeth. Of course it bloody hurt, but I didn’t want him to be concerned about me.
“I have something upstairs that should ease the pain and help with the swelling. Let’s go,” he commanded when the lift arrived. It looked like Mack wasn’t angry or even annoyed about that slap from a few days ago. I was clear enough when I’d told him to stay away, but now he was helping me.
Well, great. Now I felt like crap because I’d overreacted and kissed him back.
Oh God, and it felt good.
The dead silence stretched on while we were in the lift. I shifted my weight to the side, biting my lip.
“Mack, listen. I have to apologise,” I said. “I shouldn’t have slapped you that day, but I was so overwhelmed. We shouldn’t have been making out in the sauna. It was wrong.”
This was the worst apology that I had ever given, not to mention that I just admitted to him that I was attracted to him. I crumbled when he was around me, but Claire was a nice person. She didn’t deserve any of this.
His face was tight and he didn’t show any emotion. The tension rose, coursing between us, making me aware that any wrong move would cost more than I’d bargained for. Heat surged down underneath my dress, and all I could think about was him being inside me that night.
My hand throbbed with pain and I couldn’t focus properly. Life kept throwing hurdles in front of me. Andrew had achieved what he wanted with his affair with me. He made a deal with my father and forgot about me as soon as I was no longer needed. That was painful, but it made me realise that I never did belong there. Dad always admired my little sister; I was his constant disappointment. The black sheep, as he used to call me.
“Things aren’t how they seem, Ellie,” Mack said, moving closer to me, placing his mouth next to my ear. “I don’t regret anything; I couldn’t. That night was so special and I loved how you responded to my touch.”
His fresh cologne caressed me. It pushed all the worries away, soothing the discomfort and guilt that shrouded me. I swallowed hard, knowing that we shouldn’t be discussing this right now. I had no idea what it meant. Sometimes I imagined what being married to someone that truly loved me would be like, but those dreams were so pointless. I found it hard to believe that love existed in this cruel world.
“I shouldn’t have slapped you, but that night was a mistake,” I told him. “Don’t you love Claire? How could you have done that to her, betrayed her so badly?”
He inhaled sharply, pressing his lips in a hard line. His eyes were filled with frustration and some anger. I didn’t know what kind of life he was living. Maybe Claire wasn’t making him happy.
“Sometimes people get married for reasons other than love,” he replied.
His answer confused the hell out of me. Was he saying that he didn’t love Claire? The door to the lift opened up.
“Open the door to your apartment, Ellie.”
That strong commanding voice sent a shiver of lust down my spine. My head spun, and that urge to be in his arms grew. I needed to remember that he was taken, even when he fucked me. He probably felt guilty, so he wanted to do me a favour, like all neighbours do. Mack walked inside my apartment, putting the groceries on the worktops.
“Do you want me to help you with putting these away?” he asked, standing way too close to me.
My heartbeat was unsteady but I licked my lips, dismissing whatever the hell was going on inside my body. “No, I’m all right,” I assured him.
“Then come with me. I’ll give you something for that burn,” he commanded. I didn’t know why, but I kept hearing the same domineering tone in his voice, the same one he had when he was ordering me to strip.
“Mack, you don’t have to do this. The stuff that they gave—”
“This isn’t a request, Angel,” he stated and walked back to the corridor, heading to his own apartment. Angel… that nickname was like another invitation. I quickly pulled myself together and followed him. Inside his place, I found Claire in the living room, doing something on her laptop. She greeted me in a friendly way and we chatted for a bit. Shortly after that, Mack explained that I’d had an accident at work and that I had burned myself. Claire looked sympathetic and she told Mack to help me with my groceries. We left five minutes later.
“Let’s sit down; it’s better if I apply the gel myself,” Mack stated.
“No, I’m fine. You don’t have to do that,” I argued, afraid to be so close to his gorgeous scent.
“Why do you always have to defy me? You were so damn obedient in the bedroom,” he muttered and dragged me back to the sofa. He smelled amazing, and I instantly wanted to run my lips over his abs. This was getting absurd, to the point where I was no longer thinking rationally. His hand carefully unwrapped my bandage, and goose pimples rose all over my arms.
“If I hadn’t been committed, I’d have asked you out on a date,” he said after he inspected my wound carefully.
I was so shocked by his words. “Yes, maybe. It was just sex that I needed from you that night, nothing else. I wouldn’t really date you.”
“And why is that, Ellie? Stay still, please,” he asked.
My wound hurt like hell, but I was trying to be brave, forcing myself to stay still. Despite his huge physique, he was very gentle. “I’ve had some bad experiences with men and it’s been a very stressful month,” I explained, looking away.
“Did it work?”
“What?”
“Me putting my cock in you, making you mine, fucking you that night? Did I do my job well in de-stressing you?” he asked, with a hint of lust.
I swallowed hard, remembering his touch on my skin. “You were very satisfying, but we shouldn’t be talking about this right now and you shouldn’t be even be touching me,” I told him, feeling heat grow between my legs. “Are you going to tell her about us?”
“I haven’t decided yet, Ellie. We’ve had our ups and downs. I think we should forget about that night for now and try to be friends, or at least cordial neighbours.”
Mack’s face was telling me that this wasn’t what he was thinking about right now. His eyes were hovering over my cleavage.
“I would like that,” I said. I was so engrossed by our conversation that I didn’t realise when he was done with my new dressing. The skin was still stinging, but the gel was soothing the pain.
“Next time, try to take care of yourself a bit better.”
“Thank you.”
He smiled, left the tube on the table and left. My heart was speeding, as usual when he was around, and I told myself that his sweet gesture didn’t mean anything; he simply didn’t like to see me in pain. I’d had butterflies in my belly whenever I was with Andrew, but he had never given me feelings as intense as Mack had. Once I settled back down, I took out my bottle of wine that I bought earlier. The next morning I had to get up early to try to do some work, but hell, things couldn’t get any worse. I was ready to empty that bottle tonight, without feeling bad about it.
The guy that I’d had the most amazing sex with was still married. Andrew had gotten away with cheating on his wife and making a lot of money by spreading malicious rumours to the papers about me. And on top of that, I couldn’t use the keyboard for the next couple of days until my wound healed.
In the past week I had tried to make a contact with a man inside the police station. I figured that if I had a reliable source, I could convince Phil that I had a reliable enough informant to write a good story. I had spoken to that guy only once, but he said he was willing to help. It was a favour from an old friend. The guy didn’t fully trust me yet, but he promised to phone once he had anything new. My phone was dead, so I plugged it into the socket. Suddenly there was a blue flash and all the electricity went off in my apartment. I guess the fuses just blew out. I sat in the darkness for a few seconds, trying to figure out what’d happened and how to fix it.
Frustrated and angry, I phoned downstairs to the concierge and explained what’d happened. They took a while and by the time I could plug the phone back in, I was really pissed off.
An hour later when I checked it, the phone was still dead. Nothing had happened. It looked like the charger must have gotten damaged and stopped working. All that was left for to me do was to sit down and cry. Karma… I knew that it would finally get me. I’d made lots of terrible mistakes, hadn’t trusted my instincts, and now I was paying for it.
It looked like I might be missing out on another story. At least my hand had finally stopped throbbing. There were still a lot of unpacked boxes in my bedroom, and there was probably a spare charger somewhere in there, but I just wasn’t prepared to go through all that stuff tonight.
Ten minutes later, dressed more casually, I was knocking at Adrian’s apartment. I could have gone back to Mack’s, but I didn’t want to look any more pathetic. It took him a long moment to open the door. I wondered if I had interrupted something important.
“What’s up, neighbour?” he asked, lowering his eyes to my cleavage. Okay, I needed to re-think the reasons I thought he was appealing enough to date. Mack had lied, but I didn’t think I could date Adrian after all.
“Please tell me that you have an iPhone? My charger just blew up.”
“Yes, I think so. Hold on,” he said and then disappeared inside. It looked like he wasn’t going to invite me in. Maybe he’d changed his mind about me too. I stood in the corridor, praying for my source to call this evening. I needed to write something worthwhile, something with an edge that people could get behind. A few moments later, Adrian came back with the charger for me.
“What do you mean, you don’t know? Mack, this is serious. How are we going to pay our bills?” It was Claire’s voice coming from next door, shouting pretty loudly.
I looked at Adrian, who lost his smile. I didn’t want to listen to Mack and Claire’s argument in front of him.
“Get off my case, woman, and stop nagging. I’ll get a job!” Mack shouted back.
I took the charger from Adrian. “Right, thank you—”
“Me, nagging? You ungrateful bastard. I have been supporting you all the way with that stupid business of yours. Get a freaking job. It’s not difficult. Our debts won’t pay themselves!”
Her loud angry voice cut me off. I couldn’t believe that they were so loud. Adrian shook his head but didn’t say anything. They had seemed all right just half an hour ago. I didn’t know that Mack lost his job. During that first evening in his apartment, he mentioned that he was doing some contract work.
“Fuck, I can’t take your bullshit, Claire. Life isn’t perfect. We wouldn’t have to worry about money if you didn’t spend a fortune on fucking shoes!”
“I earn money, so I can buy whatever I want. You’re useless, Mack. You’re just a loser that can’t support himself. My father told me not to marry you. He knew.”
Her comment set Mack off and he started blaming her for all the things that had gone wrong in his life. Adrian seemed to be enjoying the argument. Me, on the other hand, I couldn’t just stand there and pretend that it was okay to listen to their fight.
“All right, thanks. I’ll buy a new one tomorrow and get this back to you,” I assured Adrian, trying not to pay attention to the screams coming from next door.
“No big deal, Ellie.”
Mack
Claire suggested the little show. She wanted Lurkin to hear our argument. I couldn’t fucking deny it—the idea was good. Now it all depended on whether Lurkin was ready to take his cleverly prepared act to the next level and actually offer me a job. A guy like Lurkin only cared about his reputation or saving his own skin, and as soon as Claire understood that her plan had failed, we could move on to do things my way.
Claire was determined and she kept me on my toes, but she was too distracting. Memories from the past carried way too many scars and emotional memories. People were making assumptions about me, thinking that working undercover for so long was my way of getting back what I’d lost.
And Claire didn’t like the fact that I seemed more worried about Ellie than I was about our operation. That night in the shower I stroked my cock, thinking about Ellie. Fuck, I wanted her so much. We didn’t know each other at all, and I simply couldn’t get to know her, as much as I wanted to—it just wasn’t possible.
None of this mattered. Lurkin was going down either way, and I needed to start by taking really small steps.
Next morning, Claire went back to Glasgow, probably to report our progress, whereas I wasted some time over the next few hours, knowing that I had to show up in the pub about two o’clock—around the time when Lurkin often went there—and it was best if I looked more miserable than usual. People were more sympathetic with losers than confident assholes; that was why I liked playing one. A guy who couldn’t keep his job and had problems with his wife definitely seemed like a loser. Ellie and her petite body occupied my mind, however. This whole sitting on my ass all day and waiting for the right moment was taking its toll on me. I liked being out and about. Anticipation, adrenaline and fear of the unknown kept me going. It had taken me a year after the shooting to pick up my gun again. Doctors told me that I had PTSD, but I knew that I was simply grieving.
I threw on some jeans and a jumper and my old leather biker jacket and went out. I liked living in this complex, away from the busy life in the city. The beach was on my doorstep and I had a chance to work out whatever I wanted.
The walk to the local pub was about twenty minutes. Claire knew that she had to leave me alone today. Her comments were slowly grating on my nerves, more than usual. She also knew that we had to put our issues behind us and work together to fix our rocky relationship. After all, we had always been good friends before I met Charlotte.
The sky was grey and it was pretty damn cold for November.
I went in, ordered a pint of Guinness, and sat down at the corner in front of the TV. It was before kickoff, but the pub was already packed with men and women, all wearing blue and white colours. The Scots were playing the English today, so the atmosphere was pretty good.
“Mind if I join you?”
Fuck me, that was quick. I wasn’t expecting him until later, but I guess that I struck a bit of luck. Lurkin was standing in front of me with a pint in his hand. It had taken me a while to figure out where he liked to drink. He was a damn good actor, trying to blend in, staying away from his real occupation.
“Feel free. My wife won’t be coming, that’s for sure,” I said, emphasising the word wife.
“Rough night?” he asked.
I bet he didn’t give a damn at all, but at least he was making conversation. “She hates rugby. Besides, I needed a drink. It should be a good game,” I muttered.
Lurkin agreed with me until the match started. For the next forty minutes there was a lot of growling, shouting and cursing. Scottish people were very passionate about national sports teams and it wasn’t a happy crowd when after the first half we were fucking losing by ten points.
Lurkin chatted to me about banal stuff, asking me about the complex. He had done well for himself. He created his own cover, making sure that no one suspected anything dodgy from a decent citizen like him.
“You know our cute neighbour, Ellie?”
“Yeah, what about her?” I asked, annoyed that he brought her up.
“I asked her out the other day. She seemed hesitant, but I bet I can break her.” He laughed and I clenched my fists. This was going to be a hell of an afternoon, and I had thought it was going to be easy.
