Earlier that day…
Calista Green has gotten through.
Every barrier.
Every strategically placed defense.
Every part of me that I’ve kept hidden.
She’s seen me. Open and emotionally vulnerable, a place of weakness I loathe, yet she stayed. Not ridiculing me, or worse, pitying me. Instead, she showed compassion.
Something I lack.
Something I want more of.
Only from her.
Although she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, Calista’s nurturing, caring side is what I find most attractive. It’s what has drawn me to her since the beginning even though I’ve tried again and again to dismiss her. Despite my efforts, I yearn for what she gives with a hunger that ravages me daily.
Hourly.
Every fucking second.
It’s what propelled me to comfort her in this office. During work hours, no less. And she’s the first.
I thought her panic attack triggered my automatic response, the one rooted in me due to my past. Except it wasn’t. I wanted to help her.
As perplexed as I was by my behavior, the pleasure I received from it confounded me even more. There was no disgust. Not only that, but I enjoyed holding and consoling Calista.
It soothed me in a way I’ve never felt.
And I never would’ve stopped if she hadn’t left.
I’ve become addicted to her. I know this and won’t deny it any longer. But what I can’t come to terms with is my need for her. How strong it is.
How all-encompassing.
She has obliterated my control. Like a vortex, she pulls me to her, leaving behind my goals and desires—even my need for justice—until nothing exists except her.
I haven’t killed anyone since the day she buried her father.
Well, except Jim. But that was for Calista, not me.
Rules bring about law and order, a peace to chaos, and a punishment to crime. The justice system isn’t always just, which is why I don’t feel the need to operate within it. My motivations are my own.
Just like my code of ethics. These maintain my sanity, provide stability, and give me purpose. They’re also a warning, an echo of my past. The events of my childhood sliced into me like a knife, cutting away weakness with every stabbing of the blade and every drop of blood spilled.
Even so, my need to right the wrongs of society doesn’t drive me, doesn’t ignite me the way Calista does with a mere glance. And when she smiles?
Fuck. Me.
I would do anything to have her look at me that way.
ANYTHING.
I drop my head and massage my temples, squeezing the hell out of my skull as if that’ll relieve my mind from these tumultuous thoughts.
It doesn’t help. Nothing does.
Except being with her.
Even knowing this, I want to push Calista away. I have many secrets, but I revealed the one that means the most. The one that weighs heaviest on me.
My mother, the drug addict.
My reason for getting justice.
My reason for killing.
I reach into my desk drawer and retrieve the tiny object inside, setting it in front of me. It’s round and white, an ordinary medicine tablet that’s supposed to treat headaches and minor aches and pains. Except it’s a depressant with an unknown compound that results in behavior similar to a ‘date-rape’ drug.
The symbol on it is a starburst, which could’ve been chosen to represent euphoria or instant relief. But to me, it’s an explosion. Like a bomb, this little pill took my mother’s life.
And the party responsible hasn’t been found.
Every year, finding the manufacturer of this drug becomes more hopeless. Regardless, I won’t give up because my mother deserves to be avenged. Just like Calista.
Someone fucked with her, and I won’t stop hunting them.
How can I fully immerse myself in my obsession with her and make her mine while not knowing what memories torment her? I suppose I could fuck Calista’s secrets out of her, but that doesn’t sit well with me. I prefer to execute a well-thought out strategy as opposed to using brute force. In my experience, manipulating people to give me what I want goes further than violence.
Although with Calista in my life, I’m more volatile than ever.
Just another way she’s ruined me.
A quick glance at the clock on my office wall has anticipation running through me. After putting away the pill, I retrieve my phone from my pocket and send her a message before placing it on my desk, waiting for Calista to text me back. The cell phone I bought her should’ve arrived by now.
Will she follow my instructions?
Hayden: As soon as you get this, text me back so I know you received the phone and everything is in working order.
My phone dings, and I snatch it up, a smile working its way onto my face when I see Calista’s name appear on the screen. Such a good girl.
Calista: I did. Thank you for the phone.
Hayden: You’re welcome. Keep in on you at all times and always answer me.
I’ve always prided myself in how effectively I communicate. I explain everything in detail so that any message I send can’t be misconstrued. No, I make sure people understand exactly what I’m saying, so I can get exactly what I want.
Calista: 🫡
My brows gather at her response as I try to make sense of it. Is this her way of telling me I’m being overbearing? Or is she flirting with me? I sit there, mulling over this for several minutes, still unable to come up with an answer.
I know for certain that Calista’s attracted to me. Or else she wouldn’t have come while saying my name. However, I want to know what happened on June 24th. Every fucking detail. The fact that this unknown sits between me and her pisses me off.
She will surrender to me.
In all ways and in all things.
Or I will control her through her secrets. Once I learn them.
Calista: The emoji was a joke.
Hayden: When you say something funny, I’ll be sure to laugh.
Calista: I doubt you know how.
She’s not wrong. I barely smile, let alone laugh. Although I did when I killed her father. I doubt she’d appreciate that.
The joke’s on me. He was innocent.
My mood immediately plummets, despite conversing with Calista.
Hayden: Are you done?
Calista: I’ll make sure to bring the phone with me to work.
Hayden: Keep it on your person and be sure to answer me.
Calista: K.
Hayden: That type of response is beneath your intelligence, Miss Green.
Calista: 🙄
If she were here with me, I’d redden her ass for that. Even so, I find myself reaching into my pocket as arousal replaces my anger. A soft material brushes my fingers, and I bring the pink underwear to my nose, inhaling. My cock gets hard.
It always does when she challenges me.
Hayden: Is this a pathetic attempt to flirt with me, or are you deliberately provoking me?
Hayden: I’m going to assume by your lack of response that you’re provoking me.
I unzip my pants and free my cock, gripping it hard enough to force a grunt from my lips. The soft material of her underwear is still nestled in my palm, and I bring it up just enough to stroke my length with it.
I close my eyes and imagine her here with me, standing before me and blushing with embarrassment. I can almost feel the warmth of her skin under my hands as I spank her ass red, the same shade as her face. She’d squirm against me, pushing back against me despite her shyness at being exposed in such a way.
Shifting slightly in my chair, I can’t help but groan softly into the quiet room as I increase the pace of sliding her underwear up and down my cock. I feel them wrapping around me like the soft palm of her hand, pressing into my skin with each stroke. Her delicate scent still clings to the fabric, and I can almost taste her sweetness on my tongue.
My breathing grows more ragged, and it’s not long before I’m jerking on my cock more forcefully, faster and harder than ever before, the rough movements causing my biceps to ache. Fantasizing about her presence intensifies the sensations to an unbearable level.
Grunting her name, I’m undone.
I come hard against her underwear, imagining the relief that’d come from being inside her body. Inside her pretty pussy which haunts me. The warmth of her skin against mine, my hips pushing against hers as I thrust into her. Again and again. I can almost hear her breathy moans in my ear as I collapse in the chair, fully exhausted.
Her underwear stained with my cum—like I want her skin to be—goes back into my pocket where they belong for now. Until the next time, at least.
Now I owe her another pearl…
This is what she does to me. I forget myself and everything else except her. Calista is the one thing that makes me vulnerable.
And I hate it.
I’d hate her too if I didn’t want her so much.
