“You could just talk to him,” Dakota says, her eyes flashing with amusement.
I’m on her couch, boneless and staring up at the ceiling.
“How will that help again? He’ll either confirm what I already know—which is I’m not good enough for his smug, billionaire face—or he’ll just say what I want to hear.”
“What if it’s number two?” She pours a cup of tea and slides it over.
“Oh, God. You’re making tea for me now? That means it’s really bad.” My jaw hangs open as I lift the drink and listen to her laugh. I couldn’t count how many times I made her coffee and scones back when we were neighbors. “Anyway, you know I’ll just get sucked back in. It’s a vicious cycle. This is Derek all over again—without Derek.”
“He’s not married. I’m pretty sure he’s younger and hotter, too.”
“Bleh. I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse. I mean, I’m not his sidepiece, but at least there was an obvious reason why Derek couldn’t commit. He had a wife and a family. I’d almost rather not be good enough for a man because there’s someone else in the picture than just not be good enough for him period.”
“So, what do you want to do?” She smiles wickedly. “FYI, I still have that serving spoon ready for his balls. Or even better, I bet I could get Lincoln to snag another trained raven. How does a whole month of getting pooped on sound? Every time he steps outside, I promise.”
“Dakota, no. You’re a mother now. You don’t get to go full Edgar Allan.” I sigh. “I don’t know, but I don’t think I can keep working there…”
“Oh, crap. Are you sure? This is like your dream job—or at least a big step to your real dream. Just because it didn’t work out, it shouldn’t cost you everything.”
I shrug, wrinkling my nose. “What’s the alternative? Keep the job at the expense of my dignity? Continue to report to him every day? Half the office gossip already revolves around Cole Lancaster. I’ll have to hear about every new girl he’s with…”
“It’s too early to give up. Linc and I broke up once.”
I laugh. “How could I forget? I was ready to kill him for you.”
She hugs her knees to her chest with a far-off smile. “Funny how that works. I’m ready to destroy Cole Lancaster now. But we worked it out, you know. You guys could, too.”
“Not likely. Lightning rarely strikes twice.”
“He did apologize. Technically, several times,” she points out.
“Yeah, and never to my face. Not a good sign.”
She picks at a loose thread in her shirt, thinking before she says, “He gave up, Eliza. You wouldn’t talk to him.”
“But if I accept his apology, what’s next?”
“What do you mean?”
I sit up.
“I knew from the beginning I didn’t belong with him. I’m a total stranger in his sparkly world of Hawaiian houses and like fifty personal servants. It’s just a matter of time until it comes up again.” I stop and sigh. “Cole isn’t a monster. Even if his apology was sincere—or he gives me one that’s not so lame—I’m just not from his circle. Oh, he’s sorry now, sure, because we have fun together and things are light. We have long talks and good sex. But we can’t do serious.”
“Eliza,” she warns, but I’m not done.
“If we kiss and make up, it just doesn’t fix anything. What if a few years from now we’re planning a holiday meal, and he has some billionaire client flying in, and my parents are coming into town, but I can’t serve sweet potato pie because that’s not sophisticated enough for foreign billionaires and—ugh.”
Snickering, she shakes her head.
“Linc is such a good man. I never had to worry about this crap.” We sit quietly for a minute, and then she asks, “Have you gone to work since it happened?”
“Not much, and I’m running out of PTO fast. I have to go back soon or resign,” I say miserably.
“Big decision. What are you going to do? Don’t think, just say the first thing that pops into your head,” she tells me.
“I think…I’m finish out the week and quit on Friday. Then I’m flying back to San Diego for a while.”
“No two-week notice?” she asks, stunned.
“It’s just expected, not required. This time, I think I deserve an exception.”
She laughs. “So you’re just going to be like eff off?”
“Pretty much.” I nod firmly, even though the idea turns my stomach.
“Badass. But if you do that, you probably can’t expect to have Wired Cup as a reference, and you’ve given them an entire product line. Burning bridges that big is never a good thing. Mr. Lump doesn’t need to take away your credit.”
“…I have no idea what he’ll say about me, but I can’t imagine it’d be flattering after this. Better to just leave and pretend it never happened…”
Her face falls, worry shining in her eyes.
“Are you sure, Eliza?”
I nod. “I always manage. You know that. After Derek, I swore I’d never be anyone’s sucker again. I’ve let Cole Lancaster consume too much of my life already and it’s the only one I have.”
She nods. “I’ll support you all the way. I just hate seeing you like this. You guys seemed good together. You were happier than I’ve ever seen you.”
Ouch.
I try not to let that pain in my stomach show on my face when I smile at her.
“Who knows. As long as I’m stuck pining over Cole freaking Lancaster, I’ll never know what happiness is.”
After lunch on Friday, I work up the nerve to talk to Gina.
I wait impatiently by her desk until she spins around to face me.
“Hi. So, I need you to come watch the campfire method with the peaberries one more time, and ask any questions. I’m not coming back on Monday.”
“Oh, that’s no problem.” She waves me off. “We won’t need to run the next lab test before Thursday, anyhow.”
“No, I won’t be here next Thursday either.”
Her eyes narrow. “Well, whenever you get back.”
“Gina…” I clear my throat. “I’m not coming back.”
She blinks in surprise. “Oh. Oh, no, but why? You’re not jumping to a competitor so soon, are you? Mr. Lancaster would—”
“No. Nothing like that.” I set my face. “You’ve been seriously great. The whole team has, really. I just don’t think I can work here anymore.”
“Oh, Jesus,” she says, making a pained face. For a second, she looks up at the ceiling before she meets my eyes again. “This is because of Mr. Lancaster, isn’t it?”
I don’t answer. I don’t even nod.
The whole point of trying to exit gracefully was to avoid gossip-drama. If only I could stop my face from turning into a flushed tomato.
Gina rolls her chair back and stands. “Okay, I’ll come watch. But are you sure, Eliza? Shouldn’t you at least get your bonuses and whatever licensing fees he promised?”
“I don’t care, honestly. I just want to be done…”
I hate that I’m so transparent.
She can probably read an entire book of heartbreak written on my face.
“I gotcha,” she whispers with a friendly pat on the shoulder.
Holding back tears, I walk her through the process one last time, answering her questions as they come.
Luckily, the peaberry brew isn’t hard to replicate at this point when I’ve done it dozens of times with other lab techs.
“What are you doing for the rest of the day?” she asks when we’re done.
I hesitate. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to do one more experiment while I still have access to the equipment. Then I need to send Cole an official resignation. Quitting without notice is bad enough. I can’t just no-show. I also need to mail something I picked up for Destiny before I’m done…”
“Of course!” She gives me a sad look. “What’s next? You’re so talented. I hate to think of you leaving the industry. Is there really no way to work things out?”
“I haven’t decided. After work tonight, I’m flying home.”
“San Diego?”
“Yep. I’ll take a small breather and figure out my plan while I’m there.”
“Wow.” She sucks in a breath and lets it out slowly. “So, this is really happening.”
“Unfortunately,” I say.
She retreats to her desk while I stand over the metal countertop, wondering what to brew. Falling in love pulled me away from my own projects for too long.
I decide to try this black-and-white thing, throwing cocoa and vanilla beans together with the peaberry blend.
There’s another experience I wouldn’t have had without Cole.
When will I work with peaberry beans again? I might as well go for broke and use them while they’re here.
The brew gives off a delicate, wonderful aroma from the start. It’s sweet, almost like a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies.
I keep inhaling because it actually makes me feel better.
Until my phone pings.
For half a second, I hope it’s Cole before I remember I shouldn’t.
And it’s not.
So much for the shrewd businessman who won’t take no for an answer. It only took him a few days to give up on me.
It’s actually my father. I open Dad’s text and smile.
Can’t wait to have you home. How about I make you all the coffee this time? It’s only fair.
A tear runs down my cheek and falls on my shaky smile. He hasn’t forgotten all the years I spent making him coffee after the salt prank.
You know what? This won’t be so bad.
I’ve always found comfort and healing in good coffee and family. That’s where happiness lies.
I spent so much time with Cole and this fairy-tale lie that I lost track of that.
Now, it’s time to reclaim my life.
It’s after five on a Friday night, so people start straggling out, calling their goodbyes and heading off on their weekend adventures.
My goodbye brew is almost ready, and then it’s curtain call.
I still have to clean up and send my resignation, too.
Gina hugs me on her way out. “It’s been a good run. I just wish it would’ve been longer. Not to be a pest, but are you sure I can’t talk you out of this?”
I smile at her. “I’m sure. Thanks for everything.”
“No, thank you for everything you’ve done. Stick around as long as you want, but don’t miss your flight. It’s supposed to be a stormy night.”
She’s the last one out.
When I’m alone, I glance around this amazing lab, trying not to linger and trip any new emotional switches.
Ten minutes later, I kill the burner under the coffee and let it sit while I clear out my desk.
Once that’s done, I ladle my steaming black liquid into a cup and take a sip.
Oh, mama.
It tastes like one of those old-school “twist” ice cream cones. Half chocolate, half vanilla, with a hint of coffee.
But instead of being frozen, it’s warm and comforting and exactly what my heart needs.
I fill my thermos and dump the rest, clean up, and then prepare for the highlight of my day.
The end of this screwed up chapter of my life.
I plop down in my desk chair for the last time and wake my computer, then log in to my email and type in Cole’s name and CC the entire world.
Mr. Lancaster,
I have coffee, comfort, and the best family anyone could ask for. That’s all I’ve decided I need in life. I appreciate the opportunity to contribute to several important regional beverage lines that will hopefully delight your customers for years to come.
My resignation is effective immediately. I have a flight to San Diego tonight, and I’ll no longer be checking my work email or messages after I sign off for today.
Goodbye.
Sincerely,
Eliza Angelo
Done.
I log off and leave my ID badge on the keyboard.
It doesn’t hit me until I stand up and stretch for the last time.
Leaving this place is harder than I expected.
This lab has all the stuff coffee dreams are made of, and now I’m saying goodbye.
I cleaned up well after that last batch, but I grab a few towels and wipe down the counters again anyway for good measure.
Bad move.
A million memories flood my head like swarming bees.
Destiny’s adorably awkward baby seal impressions. Her freaking out over turtles and dolphins and her eyes shining so bright the first time she was back on the beach after I showed her how to surf.
She’s too sweet for life. I’ll miss experiencing the world through her young eyes.
And then the obvious, everything good and bad and impossible to forget.
Cole.
His wildfire kisses.
Those searing nights in paradise that permanently stole a piece of my heart.
Cole leaning over me, tangled in his huge arms, a rough growl on his lips as he pushes his way inside me.
Cole grumping at everyone but me.
Cole telling me he loves me in the worst way possible—and then robbing me of the chance to hear it, to see it on his face.
God.
Our stillborn love darts across my mind like a violent racquetball.
Memories I wish like hell I could forget, but can’t.
The sweetest memories turned sickeningly bitter.
I shake my head, pressing a palm to my mouth.
If only he’d been honest from the start, he would’ve spared us both some agony.
But I still hope our brief time together did them some good.
I’ll never completely regret it if the trip to Kona took the edge off old tragedies. For Destiny, at least, that seems to be true.
After I grab my suitcase, I head upstairs and out the door—right into a frigid rain and a growling sky.
“Yikes!” I sputter, slinking back against the wall.
The downpour floods the gutters and drowns out the world, drenching everything in sight. The street isn’t full of puddles—it’s a freaking river.
“Way to go,” I mutter, pulling out my phone for the forecast I should’ve checked hours ago.
How could I forget what Gina said?
I barely read the words heavy rainfall, thunderstorms, three hours before my hair starts falling down my face in wet, clumped strands.
I race back toward the exit door and pull, but of course it’s firmly locked. And in all my infinite wisdom, I left my badge inside, thinking I’d never need it again.
Brilliant.
There’s a bus shelter on the curb, just a quick jog across the parking lot.
I think. In this mess, it feels like it’s ten blocks away.
I can’t see it clearly in the pounding rain and hazy darkness, but I know it’s there.
With a deep, exasperated breath, I take off at a ground-eating run, dragging my luggage behind me.
I’m not sure how any Lyft driver sees me through this storm. I haven’t even had a second in this mess to order a ride yet.
Not that it matters.
I’m an ugly, drowned rat before I’m even close to the bus shelter.
With my footsteps splashing water up my legs, I finally hit the sidewalk, just a few more mad paces from that stupid shelter.
Then a car whips past, stops, and backs up next to the curb. The passenger window powers down.
“Who invited the whole ocean into town? You need a ride?” a familiar voice asks. I see Troy Clement’s leathery grinning face and let out a huge sigh of relief.
I grab the passenger door handle and hop in. He turns on his flashers while he stalks outside to grab my bag and stuffs it in his trunk.
“Oh my God. Thank you so much!” I gush once he’s back behind the wheel. “Today has been a crap sundae and this is just the cherry on top.”
“Yeah, I saw your email. You okay, Miss E-lectric?” His sharp silvery eyes shine with concern.
I wince a little without showing it, shivering in the sudden blast of AC. But hearing him mention my resignation also plays on my nerves.
I didn’t expect to have to answer to anyone face-to-face after sending that email.
Water drips off my hair and nose as I tilt the vents away from me.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” I finally say.
“Here.” He puts his heater on full blast, which helps with the soggy chill. I just wish he wasn’t giving me that hangdog look dripping with sympathy. “What happened, lady? I hate like hell to see you go. You just taught that old hound dog some new tricks with those killer fucking drinks. I really thought you had a future with Wired Cup—and with Cole. Hell, I thought you were the future.”
I cringe, heat rushing to my face.
“I just…my mind is made up, Troy. It’s personal, but thank you,” I say.
He presses his lips together as the car starts moving. “Sorry. So there’s no talking you out of it, huh?”
I shake my head vigorously.
“No. I just want to get home to my family and clear my head. Any chance you could drop me off at the airport? I have a flight to catch.”
“Definitely. That gives me a good half hour to try to change your mind.” His goofy smirk says he’s only halfway serious. “You know you’re the best person we’ve had in R & D in ages, hands down. Gina Walker’s nice and all, but she goes by the book. The lab geeks assemble recipes, but they don’t cook, if you know what I mean.”
“Troy, I know—” I hate that he’s right.
He laughs loudly again. “And you’re so modest too. What the hell? I bet if you asked to double your pay, you’d get it approved in a heartbeat.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh, even if I feel disembodied. “Come on, now you’re just kissing butt. The pay was great, so it’s not that. I’m just…not a good fit. Not for this company…or for him.”
Whoops.
I clamp my lips shut.
I didn’t mean to say that last part out loud. In the silence, it hangs in the air like an armed grenade, ready to explode.
“Damn shame, Eliza,” Troy says slowly, inching the car forward in the rainy traffic. “You’re mighty good with both Lancasters.”
“Both of them?”
“The big man and his princess, yeah. You broke up their old routine and believe me, they needed it,” he says, his eyes fixed on the road.
There’s that twang of guilt on my heartstrings.
I’m going to miss that girl so much.
About as much as I’m trying not to miss her ginormous prick of a father. He’s too good at giving me all the conflicted feelings in the universe.
“I hope they’ll be all right,” I whisper. “Destiny was so upset when those guys knocked her down and took the necklace. I felt awful for her, and I still hate that I could’ve prevented the whole thing. I shouldn’t have let her walk over to the park alone. Now, she’s lost another piece of her mom…”
“You’re still worrying about that?” His tone hardens, but then he looks over with that easygoing smile. “I mean, it was daytime. A lot of folks hang around a crowded café. She told me all about it. No reason to think she’d be shoved down and robbed in broad daylight, as shitty as this city gets sometimes. Me, I can’t wait to get back to Bali.”
I manage a thin smile. “I could’ve had her wait to meet me. I shouldn’t have let her go wandering on her own. Cole trusted me. I just wish I hadn’t ruined it.”
“She’s fifteen years old. Not five.”
True enough, I guess.
Actually, that reminds me…
I start pawing through my purse, double-checking that I have everything I need for my flight. When I see the small black box, I freeze.
“Oh. Oh, crap!” I moan.
“What’s up?”
I look at him. “My friend Wayne makes this amazing jewelry. I had him make a replica of Destiny’s necklace. It’s not perfect and it’s definitely made of cheaper materials, but it’s good enough to tide her over until she gets something better. I know it can’t replace Aster’s necklace, but…I hoped it would give her some comfort.” I slouch in the seat and sigh. “Except, it won’t now. I forgot to mail it. I know this weather sucks, but do you think you could swing by UPS on the way to the airport? I really want to get this to her.”
I open the box, retrieve the necklace, and hold it up, letting the black onyx turtle dangle from the chain.
We hit another touch-and-go traffic snarl.
Troy looks over as he stomps the brakes and stares, his jaw visibly tightening.
“…um, is something wrong?” I ask.
“Eliza, in my humble opinion, you ought to think twice about mailing that thing,” he says.
Whoa. I’ve never heard this hurt, oddly sad edge in his voice before.
“No? Why not?” It’s hard to get the words out.
“Not all memories are good ones, lady. Destiny’s been through enough shit with her mom and I never wished her any harm—”
“What? What do you mean by harm?” I ask, confused.
I don’t understand the weird change in his mood. It’s just a hamfisted replica of her mom’s turtle necklace. What’s the big deal?
He stares at me like he’s trying to decide if I’m stupid or cruel.
“Shit, never mind. That came out wrong.”
I cock my head, eyes still on him as he stares at the road. We’re finally moving again at a five mile per hour crawl.
“I don’t follow, Troy. Why would you say you never wished her any harm? It’s not like you had anything to do with the robbery…”
“Because you didn’t let me finish the sentence, chatterbox. Jesus,” he snaps.
My eyes go wide.
Why do I get the impression I’m riding with someone very different than Cole’s goofy sidekick? It’s like there’s another side to this silly, almost boyish best friend.
He licks his lips and continues.
“Look, I just meant there’s a silver lining to her losing the damn thing I don’t think you’re seeing. Have you ever thought that maybe she doesn’t need to think about her dead mom every day? Does she really need such a morbid trinket swinging from her neck? The funeral was ten years ago.”
“Funeral?” Now, I’m really confused. “But Aster only wore it when she was alive, right? I thought it was the last gift Cole ever gave her. I guess I just don’t see the harm in—”
“Shut it,” he growls, his eyes flicking over at me and then back at the mess outside. “Sorry. That was rude. It’s just a goddamned mess out here and I’m trying to focus. Give me a few.”
Holy crap.
Is it really just the storm and traffic stressing him out?
That appeasing smile he always wears is gone, and there’s a hard edge to his words now. Very strange, but maybe he’s had a rotten day, too.
“Okay.” I try to keep my voice even.
For the next few minutes, we’re quiet as we turn onto the highway. Things are moving slightly faster, but it’s still like riding in a hovercraft.
His eyes narrow when he looks at me again. “Sorry about that, again. Me and my big mouth. Guess I’m just a little overprotective when it comes to Dessy and all that shit. I’ve been hoping they’re finally moving on, is all.”
Okayyy.
So, apparently, we’re not dropping it.
“I’m just surprised. Back in Hawaii you seemed happy that she found the turtle necklace.”
“It was Aster’s last memory. I had to respect that. Plus, with how Dess behaved on the rest of the trip, I figured she could handle it. But I have to be honest with you, E—I was goddamned glad to see it go. Way more than finding it. In my opinion, if you care about her, you’ll hang on to that thing a while longer. Maybe you’ll give it to her someday years from now, or maybe you won’t. Right now, not only is it a symbol of her dead mom, it’s also a reminder she was attacked.” He’s quiet for a minute, his face set like stone.
I frown. I hadn’t thought about it like that.
Maybe he has a point?
The rain picks up again, though, pelting the windshield and dragging us to a complete stop.
I decide he’s making some sense, even if he seems weirdly pissed about it. I’m just not convinced he’s right.
“Sorry if I upset you,” I say, stuffing the necklace back in my purse. “I’m really not trying to rub salt in any old wounds. I just…I care about her, too. I want her to be happy.”
“What do you have to be sorry for?” he asks.
Red and blue flashes spin up ahead through the gloom. Police lights.
Awesome, more traffic.
Good thing my plane doesn’t leave for two hours.
“I think I’ve just been on edge since Destiny got mugged that day,” I tell him. “I’m in constant Mama Bear mode—funny, because I’ve never thought of myself like that.”
I try to brush it off as that. I don’t dare mention stupid Cole and his stupid emotional roller coaster stressing me out.
Slowly, we creep by the accident.
It’s a newer car that slid off the road into a ditch. Small crowds of people are milling around in the rain, watching a stretcher being loaded into the back of an ambulance. We both eyeball it as we drive past, our faces set.
I’m going to need a good rom-com or something on the plane after talking about death and potentially seeing it, too.
Troy’s appeasing smile returns—like the grim scene makes him lighten up—and he nods. “That’s what makes you bowing out even sadder. Dessy needs somebody to be protective of her. Someone with a lighter touch than her bear of an old man.”
“That’s Cole, all right,” I say bitterly.
“Girls need a mom, too. Or if they can’t have that, at least a badass woman in their lives.” He shrugs, his knuckles tightening on the steering wheel. “Don’t you think? Correct me if I’m wrong since I’m not a chick. I just know Destiny loved the crap out of you, Eliza.”
“Yeah.” I nod glumly, trying to smother the heartache.
Lightning blazes across the sky like broken glass and I jump. My heartbeat triples.
“Y’know, I get why you feel responsible for her losing the old necklace,” he says.
“You do?” The fact that someone else understands just confirms that I’m right to blame myself.
I feel like such a loser.
How did I ever let a teenager get robbed?
“Yeah. She got hit because you weren’t around. And now maybe that you’re taking off to live your own life—understandably, I’ll add—you feel a little guilty leaving her alone again. Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up.”
“Sure,” I tell him.
The rain quickens until it’s coming down in sheets. The blurry lights cutting through the darkness aren’t nearly enough.
“Fucking hell. Can’t see shit,” Troy says, slowing to a stop again.
I shiver. “It’s bad. What are we going to do?”
“We’re gonna pull over for a few and wait this out. Don’t see how I can keep driving in this crap,” he grumbles.
“Got it. Whatever you think is best.” I wonder how long this storm will last. If I have to swap my plane ticket out, I will, though flights will probably be delayed in this.
I must fall into my phone for a while. Because when I look up, Troy’s silvery eyes are locked on my face, staring through me with this odd, blank expression.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. No. Not exactly…” He inhales sharply before he says, “Eliza, listen. I keep thinking about it and I really don’t think you should mail Destiny that necklace. Neither of them need that ghost fucking haunting them again. It was such a shitty, sad experience. Cole, he’s spent years blocking it out. He couldn’t even remember buying the damn thing. But ever since that thing turned up, it’s been on his brain a lot. It makes him think more than he should. It isn’t healthy.”
“He really loved her.” I pull my phone to my chest.
“He didn’t,” Troy snaps, his lip curling. “That was the fucking problem all along. He tried, but he couldn’t do it. They were tossed together in crappy matrimony and they weren’t a good fit. She needed a different kind of man, someone stronger and more energetic than Cole. He wasn’t up to snuff, and that’s why he’s so damn broken up about it, even ten years later, if you want to know the truth.”
What the what?
I’m floored.
Where’s this coming from? I’ve never seen Troy look so unsettled, so mad, his cheeks painted splotchy red.
There’s another side to this man and it’s a little scary.
I don’t even process that we’re moving again through the downpour, darting through gaps in the traffic. He has to be guessing whether or not there are cars in front of him.
Rain slams the windshield like the entire sea crashing down on us, turning everything black.
I don’t even know what to say.
I’m deathly curious about Troy’s word vomit, but it feels like asking more will just make him…angrier?
Not wise in this weather.
Not wise at all.
“Umm—maybe we should pull over,” I suggest gently.
“Yeah,” he throws back.
But he keeps on driving, weaving the car around the back of a large truck, dangerously close to its trailer.
My heart climbs into my throat. “Can you still see here? Because I can’t…um, Troy?”
“Don’t worry, big mouth. I’ve got this.”
Big mouth?
I feel the color draining from my face.
I’m starting to worry. What exactly does Troy think he has under control?
The sky matches my feelings when it rips open again, drowning my fear in a deafening clap of thunder.
