Lowell: Gordie?
Hollis: Umm…no.
Lowell: Howe?
Hollis: How what?
Lowell: No. Like Gordie Howe.
Hollis: Goldie Hawn???
Lowell: What? NO!
Lowell: GORDIE HOWE
Hollis: Never heard of her.
Lowell: I…
Lowell: I thought your hockey knowledge was much more up to par than this.
Lowell: I have failed you.
Lowell: In fact, I’m retiring right now. I cannot, in good conscience, have a baby with a woman who doesn’t know who Gordie Howe is.
Hollis: You’ll get over it.
Lowell: Sorry. I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m dead.
Hollis: And dramatic. Don’t forget dramatic.
Hollis: Um…sir?
Lowell: Okay, first, I didn’t realize that would be hot.
Hollis: It’s not happening, so move on.
Lowell: *grumbles* Fine. Moving on.
Lowell: How may I help you, ma’am?
Hollis: Did you have a pizza delivered to my apartment? Specifically a heart-shaped one?
Lowell: Oh. That.
Lowell: Yeah, it was me.
Hollis: Why????
Lowell: Because it’s Valentine’s Day.
Lowell: Our baby might not be here yet, but I wanted to make sure Momma was taken care of.
Hollis: That’s…really sweet. Like really, really sweet.
Hollis: I kind of want to kiss you right now.
Lowell: I’d let you.
Hollis: I’m sure you would.
Lowell: I wish we weren’t on the road AGAIN.
Lowell: Fuck, I hate road games.
Lowell: Especially because I’m always stuck on the bus next to Miller and he never wants to shut the hell up.
Hollis: Miller shuts up?
Lowell: No. Literally never.
Lowell: Right now, he’s telling me the same story he started telling me ON THE PLANE.
Lowell: That was HOURS ago.
Lowell: And it’s not even a good story. I guessed the ending two minutes into it.
Hollis: Tell him to pipe down.
Lowell: I have. I do.
Lowell: Next time, I’m bringing duct tape.
Hollis: He’ll probably just lick it off.
Lowell: Probably.
Lowell: How’s work going? Getting ahead like you wanted to?
Hollis: Yes, though I think I’m going to call it a night. I’m tired. Baby is sucking up all my energy today.
Lowell: Go rest, then. Take your pizza to bed and spoon with it and pretend it’s me.
Hollis: That’s not weird at all.
Lowell: Hey, I know some people who take their pizza very seriously and wouldn’t bat an eye.
Hollis: I am really scared to know if you’re “some people.”
Lowell: Guess you’ll never know.
Hollis: See you tomorrow?
Lowell: Yes.
Lowell: Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day.
Lowell: I’ll give you your present tomorrow. *tongue emoji*
Lowell: Elsa?
Hollis: She’s a total badass, but no.
Hollis: What about Georgia?
Lowell: Like the state?
Hollis: Yes.
Lowell: Hmm…I don’t hate it.
Hollis: This would be a lot easier if I knew what we were having…
Lowell: It would be, except you don’t want to know, remember?
Lowell: In fact, you promised me bodily harm if I tried to tell you.
Hollis: So you’re saying you’re scared of me?
Lowell: HA! Not a chance.
Lowell: But also…yes.
Lowell: Then again, if you punched me, it wouldn’t be the first time.
Hollis: LOWELL!
Hollis: I swear, if you keep bringing that up…
Lowell: It was traumatic!
Hollis: It was not! If anything, it probably turned you on.
Hollis: Lowell?
Hollis: Oh god.
Hollis: It did, didn’t it??
Hollis: LOWELL!
Hollis: Oh, wait. I just realized you’re probably playing hockey right now.
Hollis: GO TEAM! TOUCHDOWN!
Hollis: I think the doctor missed flirting with you today.
Lowell: I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.
Hollis: Me too.
Lowell: How’d it go?
Hollis: Everything is looking good. Baby is healthy.
Lowell: And Momma?
Hollis: She’s healthy too. Just hungry.
Lowell: What do you want? I’ll send you food.
Hollis: You don’t have to send me food every time I’m hungry. I’m a big girl. I can feed myself.
Hollis: Besides, I have another appointment to get to.
Lowell: Another one?
Lowell: I don’t see anything on my Google calendar.
Hollis: It’s for an apartment viewing.
Lowell: Oh.
Lowell: Is that what you want? A bigger apartment?
Hollis: More like I NEED a bigger one.
Hollis: Hell, YOU barely fit in this one.
Hollis: Besides, it’ll be nice to be closer to you and the rink and everything. Makes it easier on everyone for when the baby comes.
Lowell: Because you’ll be there, and I’ll be here.
Hollis: Exactly.
Lowell: That is what you want, right?
Hollis: Are you coming over tonight?
Lowell: Probably not. Early morning at the rink. Rain check?
Hollis: Sure.
Lowell: Night.
