September 11th
Grade 11
Something was wrong. I hadn’t talked to Bennett in two days. Not that long, objectively speaking, but an eternity for us given that we usually hung out at school between periods and texted a couple of times a day. He’d even been missing from the classes we shared together.
Not to mention, the entire school was buzzing with rumors about his father’s arrest. I knew it couldn’t be easy on him, and I was trying to be a good friend, but that was difficult with the way he’d gone MIA on me. How could I be there for him if he kept dodging me?
Maybe this was the guy way of coping: blocking out the world. Still, I couldn’t deny it stung a little… or a lot
When I came out of AP Chemistry after fifth period, I spotted Bennett down by his locker at the end of the hall, talking to Russell Barnes. Nervousness bubbled in my belly, and I slowed my pace to a crawl, praying would Russell leave before I reached Bennett. I wanted to talk to him—and I needed to do it alone.
Unfortunately, their conversation seemed to drag on and on. I was about to make a left to head for the library instead when they exchanged a nod and Russell walked in the other direction. Bennett turned away, yanking open his locker. With his back turned to me, he pulled a history textbook out of his backpack, swapping it for another.
“Hey.” I shifted my book bag on my aching shoulder; it was overloaded with hardcover textbooks. I should have made a stop at my locker too, but I’d been trying to catch Bennett all day. “Everything okay?”
Bennett turned to face me, but his expression didn’t brighten like it usually did. “It’s fine.” He slammed his locker shut in a way that seemed to contradict what he just said.
“I texted you.”
Bennett leaned a shoulder against his locker, giving me a bored look. “I know.” His voice was flat, lacking all the usual warmth it had when he talked to me. He was acting so strangely that I couldn’t reconcile it. Was he getting high at school again or something?
“You didn’t reply,” I said, stating the obvious and immediately feeling foolish for it.
“And you didn’t take the hint.”
The words landed like a slap. I recoiled on the spot, heat rushing to my cheeks. My breath snagged, and before I could stop it, my eyes started to well up with tears. Bennett could be mercurial sometimes, especially to other people, but he never acted like this to me.
“What’s your problem?”
His square jaw ticked. It hit me then that he seemed angry about something—angry with me, but I didn’t know why.
“You should know,” Bennett said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Right.” He let out a huff of derision. “You don’t even realize it.”
Realize what? I wanted to press him, to figure out what he was getting at, but I was too close to breaking down in the middle of the hallway.
When I didn’t respond, he shook his head and threw his bag over his shoulder. He stepped around me, heading to the biology lab for his next class without so much as a goodbye.
I remained frozen on the spot for a solid minute, caught in some combination of shock and denial. How did we go from the way things were between us at the party last weekend to this? Did Bennett change his mind about going to homecoming together? Was this his way of trying to get out of taking me? My heart sank, landing at the floor by my feet with a sad little splat.
A group of Quinn’s gossipy friends walked out of the English room. Clenching my jaw, I swallowed back tears and spun on my heel, barreling for the girls’ washroom around the corner. Lola was walking out as I was heading in.
“Whoa, Thay.” She ducked her head, trying to catch my eye. “What’s wrong?”
I brushed past her and headed to the sink furthest from the door, turning on the cold water and splashing my face. Lola followed me back into the bathroom, checking to ensure no one else was in any of the stalls. She walked up to me, offering me a paper towel.
I gently patted my blotchy face dry. “Thanks.”
“What’s going on?” Lola asked softly. “Did something happen with your chem exam?
I hiccupped and shook my head, biting my bottom lip. If only it was that.
“Then what is it?” she asked. “You’re starting to freak me out.”
What was it? If only I knew.
Avoiding meeting her eyes, I drew in a shaky breath and held it for a couple of seconds, blowing it out in a huff. My eyes were brimming with more tears dangerously close to breaking free, and I hated crying in front of other people—even Lola. I stared down at the floor, fidgeting with the sleeve of my navy uniform blazer. Lola waited patiently, gently rubbing my upper arm.
“It’s Bennett,” I finally managed to say. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He just completely blew me off.” It was hard to admit, even to her.
Lola sighed. “Oh, Thay. He’s probably just stressed with everything that’s going on. You know how he can be.”
“No, Lo. This was more than that. He looked at me like—” My voice started to climb, cracking along with my heart. “He hated me.”
