I was seriously considering selling all my belongings and becoming one of those guys who lived in a van down by the river. At this point, it seemed easier than facing the fallout that was imminent in my life.
No Thayer, because I fucked that up. No Flux, because I fucked that up too. And probably no Ian when all was said and done, because he wouldn’t appreciate being taken down with me. Bankruptcy would strain even the strongest of friendships.
The literal only silver lining was that my mom had gotten encouraging news from her doctors. It was early, but so far, her cancer was responding to treatment. I was thankful for that. I just wished everything else wasn’t shit.
“We have to keep going,” Ian said, bringing me back to reality, where I was seated across the table from him at Saltlick, an upscale steakhouse down the street from our office. He’d dragged me out in some attempt to cheer me up, or maybe just to get me to eat something.
I stared at him blankly. “Why?”
“Because we can’t lay down and die?” He waved his fork at me, loaded with a bite of medium-rare steak. “That’s your favorite motto.”
“I’m tired.” I scrubbed a hand along my chin, clad with enough stubble that it was now more like a beard. A full plate of food sat in front of me, untouched. I poked at my filet with disinterest. “Really fucking tired.”
“That’s what Adam wants,” he pointed out, trying to goad me into being angry. Normally, it would have worked, and I would have perked right up on a mission to destroy. But I hadn’t slept in several days, and I didn’t have the energy to care.
“It’s not done until it’s done,” Ian added. “The planning department hasn’t issued a decision on the bid yet.”
“We both know what it’s going to be,” I muttered.
He studied me over the rim of his glass of ice water, eyes assessing. “How much of this has to do with Thayer?”
All of it.
Even if we did manage to bail out the sinking ship that was Flux, it would be a hollow victory without her. In fact, if I had to pick one or the other, I would have chosen her. But that didn’t matter, because she didn’t want me back. Which was fully my fault.
I shrugged helplessly. “It isn’t helping, that’s for sure.”
“All couples fight,” Ian said. “A fight isn’t necessarily the end of the world.”
“It is when she won’t talk to me.”
