I didn’t even realize I was opening my eyes. I’d been in the dark, in a deep night full of muffled sounds and random words that I struggled to put in order and comprehend. Then, all at once, I could see the hospital. It was bright, and the machines were beeping; I’d heard them for days, I realized, along with the soft voice of a girl whose words had soothed me like a lullaby urging me to sleep.
I opened my eyes. I needed that voice. But instead, I found something totally different.
“Oh my God, Nick!” Sophia shouted next to me.
I groaned in pain. My head felt like it was about to explode.
“I’ll call a doctor,” she said and ran out.
I blinked, trying to get used to the light and the blue of the evening sky outside. The room was small, with only enough space for my bed, a two-seater sofa, and a TV. I tried to get up, but my arm throbbed, and I realized moving around was a bad idea.
Sophia reappeared with the doctor. I let him examine me and give me some information about my condition, but while I listened, all I could manage to do was formulate one question, a question that made me tense, nervous, upset…
“Where’s Noah?” I asked, trying to get up and instantly regretting it. An unbearable pain shot through my ribs, as though I were being burned alive from the inside.
Fuck.
Sophia helped me lie back over the pillows.
What was Sophia doing there?
“Noah’s at your apartment, resting, I think.”
I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. Looking down, I saw the bandages on my ribs and my arm immobilized against my chest, making it impossible to move.
Son of a bitch, I thought, wondering who had done this to me. “Where’s Steve? I need to get up, I need—”
“You can’t, Nicholas,” Sophia said, and this time, I looked closer at her and saw her eyes were red and swollen. Her hair was pulled back on her head, and she was wearing jeans and a plain white shirt. “You need to rest. Please, stay still.”
I lay back, trying to remain calm. If Noah was resting, that meant she was okay, right? Steve had to be with her…
I looked back at the girl who was gazing at me with a mixture of relief, joy, and longing. I remembered when I’d told her we were done. Of all the girls I’d been with, Sophia was the only one I really never wanted to hurt. In her own way, she had helped me that past year. What we had shared was far more than a friendship, and yet, in the end, that was all we could be: friends.
No one and nothing could do to my body and soul the things Noah was capable of with a single glance, and Sophia had always known that.
“What are you doing here, Soph?” I asked.
She shrugged and wiped a tear from her left cheek.
“I needed to see you and be sure you were okay. When I heard on the news what happened…” She grabbed my hand, carefully. “You know how you can tell the relationship you had with someone wasn’t even a relationship?”
I didn’t react as I observed her.
“When no one from their family even picks up the phone to tell you something’s happened to them.”
“Sophia, you and I…”
“I know. We broke up a month ago. I didn’t forget. I just thought…”
I needed to end it with Sophia, for real. In her eyes I saw a glimmer of hope. It was time to be direct with her. Sophia had hoped Noah’s mistake meant I could never really take her back, but that was over, we had passed that point, we’d moved ahead, matured…
“Sophia, Noah’s going to have my child,” I told her as tactfully as I could.
I felt her hand go cold, and instantly, she let me go. She seemed to need a couple of seconds to assimilate my words, seconds to let any glimmer of hope she had disappear. “Is that why you got back with her?”
“I got back with her because I love her,” I said calmly. Not only did I love her, I loved her more than anyone else. But I didn’t say that because I didn’t want to hurt Sophia.
She nodded and looked lost, as if that were the last thing in the world she’d expected to hear. “You know, for a moment, I thought…that you’d opened your eyes because you heard my voice. I thought I saw…”
I’d opened my eyes because the very voice I needed to hear was the one that wasn’t there. I’d opened them because I was desperate to find Noah. “I never wanted to hurt you, Sophia. This past year with you… You were the flame that lit up my nights.”
Sophia nodded and took a breath, and from her face, I could tell my message was clear. Sophia wasn’t a little girl you had to explain everything to step by step; she was a grown woman, the only woman I might ever have fallen in love with if Noah hadn’t come into my life and made everything else pale in comparison.
I was relaxed as she bent over and gave me a subdued kiss on the corner of the lips.
“I’m happy you’re okay.”
I nodded and watched her gather her things and leave the room. Another door had closed, but it was one too small for me to ever fit through, and just then, I saw the open portal of the life I was ready to start with Noah awaiting me.
