I stand with my left leg extended, my hand gently touching the barre. The District News team snaps several photos of me. My smile is genuine and a little silly. It’s awkward posing for strangers.
‘That was perfect, Cassidy,’ Lilly says as she leans over to view the camera. She nods at her photographer. ‘That one, definitely.’
I pull my legwarmers up and walk over to her. ‘Did you get everything you need?’
She smiles at me. ‘Just a few more questions. The Nutcracker is a constant every year at Christmas and has become a District tradition. We have seen you play Clara every year since you were fourteen. We love you as Clara. So, will you miss her?’
Still reeling from the news of my new role as the Sugar Plum Fairy, I answer with excitement. ‘I won’t miss being on pointe the whole time.’ I laugh. ‘But yes, I think I will. It’s Clara’s journey, ultimately. That role is a huge responsibility. I won’t have as much stage time this year, but being the Sugar Plum Fairy means I’ll get to do some iconic choreography – including a pique ménage sequence I’m still trying to wrap my head around.’
Lilly nods. ‘Ah, yes. Can you explain this sequence to us?’
‘Well, a pique is one move. But to do the pique ménage, like the one the Sugar Plum Fairy does, I’ll need to push off my left leg on pointe and turn and repeat this over and over. It sends me in wide sweeping circles around the stage. It’s not just about technique, but stamina and keeping my head level or I’ll fall over. It’s dizzying. Not only that, but I often can’t feel my left ankle the next day.’
Lilly smiles at me. ‘That sounds like a lot of work.’
‘It is. But I love it.’
‘How do you feel about your headline: ‘Golden Girl Cassidy Slater Our Sugar Plum Fairy’?’
Oh my gawd.
I blush. ‘Honestly? Flattered. Awkward.’ I giggle and Lilly’s smile widens.
I hadn’t realised I was the ‘Golden Girl’ of the District. I wonder if I’d still be their Golden Girl if they knew what I let Max Butcher do to me last night. . .
The entire time they’re packing up, I can’t wipe the beam off my face. I wave goodbye to Lilly and the crew before going back inside my studio to call Toni. I put him on speaker phone. Laying the device on the floor beside me, I begin my stretches.
Toni’s voice sings through the phone as soon as he picks up. ‘Did they make you wear something God awful?’
‘No.’ I move into the thread the needle position, twisting my hips so my shoulder touches the floor. ‘I’m just in a leotard and legwarmers.’
‘I can’t talk to you, anymore. You’re just too fabulous for me these days.’
‘I’m a Golden Girl.’ I laugh.
‘Oh my giddy aunt, is that what they’re calling you?’
‘Yep.’
‘I’m mortified and jealous. I’m jortified.’
I giggle. ‘Tell me what’s the next move I make. . . with Max.’
‘You don’t make a move, Golden Girl. He will.’
‘Um.’ I swap arms and press my shoulder into the mat. ‘We kinda parted in an awkward way. I want to like apologise or something.’
He tsks at me. ‘Apologise for the blue balls you gave him? Yes, they hurt, Cassidy. You hurt Max. I hope you’re happy.’
‘You’re not helping.’
He chuckles. ‘Then we are right on track.’
‘I want to make it up to him.’
‘Good! Suck his dick.’
‘Toni.’ I sit up and stare at the phone. ‘I have no idea how to do that. And it’s Max Butcher. He’s probably had more blow jobs than hot meals.’
‘He’ll appreciate the effort. Trust me.’
I move into the downward dog position, walking on the spot and stretching my calves. ‘Fine, how do I do it?’
‘I’m so thrilled we’re having this conversation! This is where I shine. So first, forget the term blow job. You don’t blow on it. Well, you don’t blow on it. I might.’
‘Gross, Toni.’
‘Alright, so you suck him slowly. Leisurely. Keep the foreskin up. . . if he has foreskin. I imagine he would because they’re all Catholics.’
‘Max is Catholic?’ My mind drifts to his mouth between my legs. ‘He must go to confession a lot.’
‘Well, his dad is part Sicilian and they are very Catholic, so I presume so.’
‘How do you know all this?’
‘Twitter.’
‘Riiight. You know that if YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook all became one platform, it could be called You-Twit-Face.’ Which about sums up my feelings towards those social media platforms.
He laughs. ‘I’m stealing that one.’
‘Go for it.’
‘So,’ he continues, ‘make sure your mouth is really wet. You want to fold your lips over your teeth so there is pressure, but no grating. Don’t grate his cock, Cassidy. Suck him in long strokes and use your tongue on the underside where the skin meets. . .’ He makes a squirming sound. ‘I’m getting a semi having this conversation.’
I roll my eyes. ‘Toni.’
‘Okay. Keep his foreskin up while you do this, but if it slides down by itself, lick the tip, but be gentle. Don’t over stimulate. I repeat, do not overstimulate. You will struggle to make him come if you go hard and fast. A guy like Max Butcher won’t be easy to make come. Tease him. Change up the movements and then when you think he’s ready, you pump him like you’re milking a cow.’
I scrunch up my face. ‘I’m grossed out by that analogy.’
‘I’m grossed out by your fanny.’
‘Toni, for your information, my vagina happens to be beautiful and smooth and very satisfied right now.’
My studio door swings open and Flick rushes in, squealing, ‘This is so great!’
‘I gotta go,’ I say to Toni and hang up the phone.
My sister’s red hair sways around her shoulders as she bounds towards me. Falling on top of me, she envelopes me with her long arms.
‘Oh my God, you’re not my type,’ I laugh, rolling around on the floor with her.
We flop side by side with our legs folded over each other and sigh.
Her grin is infectious. ‘I’m so excited.’
I twist my head to stare at her. ‘Why are you so excited?’
‘Um, der, you’re coming with me to Bali!’
‘Oh yeah.’ I stare up at the downlights in the ceiling. ‘I’d actually forgotten all about that with everything going on.’
‘Oh, well don’t! Aurora is expecting the Cassidy Slater to entertain everyone. I set it up so Stacey and I are in a room together. You have your own.’
‘Oh.’ I frown at her. ‘I thought I was sharing a room with you?’
‘I thought I wasn’t your type.’
‘Hahaha,’ I snicker.
‘Don’t worry, we’re in the same villa. I’ll be right next to you.’ Her eyes sparkle as she describes our accommodation. ‘It has a private pool and outdoor kitchen and like a common area. It’s just stunning. The boys let us choose from a few close to the reception.’
‘Oh.’ I curl my lips together to keep a smile at bay. ‘So we’re in the same villa as the boys.’ My chest feels tight. I couldn’t be more excited to spend a holiday with Max, but I’m not sure he’ll share my enthusiasm. We aren’t friends. We aren’t anything according to him.
She nods. ‘Yeah.’
‘Why are you Max’s plus one?’
‘Well, because Xander can pretty much get whatever he wants from his big brothers, and Stacey can get whatever she wants from Xander. She wants me there, so that’s that. Plus, I think Max likes the idea of having a girl on his arm who won’t cramp his sexual prowess, know what I mean? He’s a complete man whore, but he has very little respect or time for women. That doesn’t stop them though. It’s strange because the other boys aren’t like that at all. Xander is very considerate and open, and Bronson has been in love with the same girl since he was thirteen.’
Discomfort knots my belly. ‘Sounds like you’ve finally traded diaries.’ I picture Max’s smile last night after he’d made me come. A smile that had lacked his usual arrogant demeanour, instead seeming raw and revealing. I think about the night we’d slept beside each other without touching. He respects me.
‘Stacey knows the boys really well and she seems to worry about them a lot.’
‘So what’s the deal with Stacey and The Butcher Boys?’
‘They don’t have a sister, but if they did, it’d be Stacey.’ She twists to face me. ‘You don’t mind that I said yes to going with Max, do you?’
I feign indifference. ‘What? Why would I mind?’ She lifts a beautiful auburn brow at me and says nothing. ‘What? I don’t care.’ Her eyes stay glued on mine and amusement tugs at her lips. ‘I don’t mind. Why would I mind?’ I cover my face and grin into my palms, my cheeks flushing. ‘Okay. Yes. I have a crush on him. But I know the score. It’s fine. I’m fine with it.’ She’s analysing me dubiously and her lack of verbal communication is getting under my skin. ‘Flick, don’t just stare at me!’
‘I’m just reading you like a book, my little love.’
‘Well, that’s good,’ I stammer. ‘It’s been a while since you, like. . . read.’
She grins at me. ‘Is that the best comeback you have?’
‘Yes.’ I smile back, knowing I’ve lost this round with my sister. ‘Your grin is so annoying right now; I want one of those pies to squish into your face.’
She rolls over onto her knees and stands up. ‘I’m really glad you’re coming, my little love. I’m going to stay in Connolly with Stacey for the weekend. Tell Dad, okay?’ She dances along the mats towards the door and then swivels to wink at me.
