Ryan is fidgeting in the backseat with Matias and Ari. He’s smooshed between them and looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.
“Hey, want to see my cool scar?” Ari asks, tugging the neck of his shirt down to show the nasty-looking burn.
“Oh my god.” Ryan rolls his lips together, and the color drains from his face.
“Wicked, right?”
“It looks painful.”
“Don’t let Ari fool you, Ryan. He isn’t in pain.”
“I was in pain. I was in a ton of pain.”
“You aren’t now,” Matias mumbles.
I watch in the rearview mirror as Ryan looks back and forth between Ari and Matias, bickering, and I put a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing.
“It’s like having children already. It’s a great test run,” Carmine says.
“He started it!” Ari defends himself, reaching over Ryan to shove Matias.
“I’ll fucking finish it too.” Matias pushes Ari back.
“That’s enough!” Carmine barks, yanking off his sunglasses as he lifts his eyes from the road to look into the mirror. “I will pull this car over right now, and none of you will get ice cream after the work is done. Except for you, Ryan. You can get ice cream.”
Ryan beams and places his hands in his lap, a new mood completely taking him over.
“How can he get ice cream? That’s not fair, Carmine.” Ari crosses his arms over his chest and looks out the window while I’m laughing so hard, I have tears spilling down my cheeks.
“Life isn’t fair. Maybe don’t act like a brat.” Carmine flips on his turn signal and takes the next right, which isn’t toward the school at all.
I sit up, ignoring the harsh whispering in the backseat while I look around. “Where are we going?”
“We are making a quick stop before going to the school. I promise,” he squeezes my leg, and I relax against the seat.
The longer we travel down the road, the more familiar it looks. My heart races when I realize where we’re going.
“Carmine?” I can’t keep the struggle out of my voice.
“Yes, Sweetling?”
“Are we…” I have to take a breath. “Are we going to see my dad?”
He takes my hand in his and nods. “I wanted to surprise you. I feel like you need him right now, and while I will forever protect you and not understand why he did the things he did, he’s still your father. Your professor’s office hours are only for another two hours, so we can’t stay long.”
I lean over and kiss his cheek, the press my forehead to his shoulder. “Thank you.”
“I’ll unblocked his number from your phone,” he says. “I’m not as stubborn as you think. I needed time with you first.”
I wasn’t sure if I was ready to talk to my father, anyway. I’ve been mad at him. The more I think about everything he did and the ways I’ve had to clean up his messes over the years, the angrier I felt. It’s been nice not having that pressure on my shoulders.
Not only has Carmine forgiven my father’s debt, but he’s paid the debt I had to take one, bailing my dad out of bad situations.
Carmine has saved me in more ways than one.
We slow as he turns on the blinker and pulls into the parking lot of my dad’s mechanic shop.
“Where are we?” Ryan asks.
“We’re visiting Delilah’s father first,” Ari says.
“You knew?” I gape at him. “And you didn’t say anything?”
“And risk the wrath of Carmine? No thanks. No ice cream is worth that.” Ari climbs out of the car, and Ryan debates following him or not, then Matias gets out, leaving Ryan all alone.
He scurries out of the backseat, and I stand outside the door, looking up at the old building. The white paint is chipped and peeling from the cement blocks. Two cars are taking up the two bay areas. They’re up on lifts, and Dad is under one tinkering away. He hasn’t noticed me yet.
I take a step forward, but Matias is in front of me, Ryan and Ari are behind me, and Carmine is at my side.
We’re safe at all angles.
Our shoes scuff on the floor, and the clinks of tools come in and out of the red toolbox I got him a few years back. It’s beaten up and rusted, but he always told me he refused to get a new one when this one was bought with love.
“We’re booked for the day,” he says, without taking his eyes from the car. “If you see Mikey at the desk, he can make an appointment for you.” Something in his tone sounds absent as if he isn’t there or something is on his mind.
“I’ll keep that in mind, but I’m not here to make an appointment.”
The tool in his hand crashes down when he hears my voice, and he rolls out from under the car. He stands, wiping his greasy hands on a stained rag. There’s a black smudge on his cheek, and his overalls need washing. Dad has never been good at taking care of himself.
Tears spring to my eyes as I take a step forward. “Hey, Dad.”
“Lilah? Is that really you?” He drops the cloth from his hand and rushes forward, nearly tripping over his feet.
I step to the side so he can see me. “Hey, Dad.”
“Lilah.” He runs to me, slamming against me so hard my breath is knocked from my lungs. He holds onto me tight, and I do the same, missing how he smells of coffee. I inhale him and cry, sobbing against his chest.
“I’ve missed you,” I whisper.
“I’ve missed you too. Let me look at you.” He grabs me by the shoulders and leans away, smiling. “You look beautiful, Lilah. You look good. He’s been good to you, then?” His eyes are red-rimmed, and he wipes a tear away.
“Yes,” I reply, holding my hand for Carmine to take. “He’s been very good to me, Dad. We’re married.”
“Married?” He narrows his eyes at Carmine, putting the pieces together. “Lilah…”
“Don’t, Dad. Just don’t. Not this time. I’m happy; that’s all you need to concern yourself with.” I place my hand on my flat stomach. “And you’re going to be a grandfather.”
“What did he do to you? Did he force himself on you? Did he hurt you?” he shouts, and Matias has a gun pointed at my dad’s head in the next instance. My Dad freezes.
“Careful,” Carmine tsks. “We wouldn’t want things to get out of hand here.” Carmine’s arm wraps around my waist.
“Please, put the gun away from my dad, or I swear, Carmine, you’ll be sleeping alone tonight.”
Carmine gestures for Matias to listen, and his brother does, tucking it into his waistband. Ari closes the bay doors to give us privacy.
“You married him, and you’re pregnant? God, Lilah. Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you put yourself in that position?”
I take a step forward, scoffing at his words. “I put myself in that position? You really think my first thought was, hey, I’m going to find the mafia boss, marry him, and have his baby?” I chuckle. “Do you want to know who put me in that position? You.” I stab my finger against his chest. “I saved you. Again. I agreed to marry him and give him an heir, to save you. Luckily, I fell in love with him. and what we have is more than a transaction. This is my life. So, I guess I should thank you because I’m happy. I’m happy for the first time in a very long time.”
“I’ve been watching you, Mr. Reynolds. I’ve been making sure you haven’t done any dirty dealings again,” Carmine says, which has me holding my breath. I didn’t know he was keeping an eye on my father. “You’ve been doing well. You’ve paid down some of your credit card debt, fixed your house, and your business is doing better. It seems you’re getting back on your feet. If you keep at it, I’ll allow you and Delilah to have more time together.”
There’s a moment of rage, just a moment, that builds inside me. I almost want to ask just who the hell does he think he is deciding how much time I can spend with my own father. Then I remember Carmine is the boss. There are rules to consider, things we agreed upon in the contract.
I know Carmine wants to be the number one man in my life, and he is very protective. At the end of the day, I know putting trust in my father not to hurt me again is a big deal. He doesn’t want me to clean up any more messes my dad creates.
And I would.
Carmine knows it.
He’s protecting me from myself and the absolute disappointment of my father failing me again.
“Who are you to say when I can see my daughter?”
Carmine blows out a slow breath, and his fingers curl against my hip.
“Dad—” I whisper in a warning.
“I think I’m the man to whom you owed a shit ton of money, money you couldn’t pay up. I think you’re the man who lets his daughter pick up too much slack. You never took care of Delilah. She’s mine now. Mine. Do you get that? She’s my wife. The mother of my child. My entire fucking world, and what was she to you? A person to clean up your messes. Do not fuck with me again, Mr. Reynolds, or the slack I’ve given you, will burn.”
“Say your goodbyes, Delilah. We need to go.”
I hug my dad and sigh, wishing things could be different, but I can’t fall back into the mindset of always needing to take care of my dad. He’s a grown man. It shouldn’t have to be this way. “I love you. I’ll call you later, okay?”
He squeezes me tight. “I love you too. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I can’t be better.”
“It’s okay. Maybe things will be all right when the baby comes.”
“I can’t wait to meet him or her. Take care of yourself, and don’t be a stranger. I have a lot to improve on, but I miss you. I love you. I never meant for things to be so messy.”
“I know, Dad. Let’s just take things slow, okay? I know this isn’t the life you expected for me, but I’m happy. That’s enough, right?”
“Yeah, Lilah, it’s enough.” He gives me one more hug before letting go, and Ari opens the bay door.
We start walking out, and Ryan is the first one to get in the car, accompanied by Ari and Matias flanking him.
Carmine opens the door for me. “Are you okay, Sweetling?”
“Yeah, I’m sad. It makes me wonder how damaged our relationship was before you came into the picture,” I say, trying to remember a good moment with my dad.
He grips my chin and brings his lips down to mine. The kiss is quick, but it’s enough for me to feel better. Carmine’s good at that. Always making me feel better. “I’m sorry, Sweetling. You don’t deserve that. You deserve nothing but the best.” He manages to put a slight smile on my face as he shuts the door, leaving my stomach in an array of butterflies.
I look out the window to see my dad watching us, and I lift my hand to wave goodbye, but it’s just my palm in the air, not moving.
Dad does the same, regret swimming in his eyes. Carmine starts the car and drives away, forcing me to break eye contact with my dad as we get back on the road. The car is silent, and I lean my head against the window, watching the trees blur as we pass them.
“Are you okay, sis?” Ari asks, gently tugging a piece of my hair.
“I’m okay. A little sad, but I’m okay.”
“Well, um, you know, we’re here, I’m here, if you ever want to talk,” Ryan mumbles, rubbing his hand up and down his arm as he chews on his lip. “You don’t know me very well, but you’ve been so kind to me. I’m a good listener.”
“Aw. You’re so sweet.” Ari puts Ryan in a headlock and rubs his knuckles across Ryan’s head.
“Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay, stop.”
Ryan laughs. A genuine laugh. The kind that takes me by surprise because I’ve never heard him laugh before.
It all feels…normal. This is my family now. When this first started between Carmine and me, I thought he’d be the death of me, and maybe he is, but it’s the old me that’s died. I’m someone else now, someone better. Coming to terms in the beginning was impossible. I wanted to fight Carmine tooth and nail. I wanted to be difficult. I didn’t want to accept my reality.
This reality is better than any dream I could have made up in my head.
Fifteen minutes later, with me still lost in my thoughts, we are pulling into the school. We park near the science building.
The cellar is right there, attached to the side of the building. The metal doors are locked with a chain, but being drugged and taken down there, threatened to be cut into a million pieces and delivered to Carmine has me frozen in place.
“Hey.” Carmine’s fingers graze the side of my face, and I slowly blink away the haze and turn to him. “He can never hurt you again. I killed him. I burned his body and tossed his ashes into the wind. He can’t hurt you, and anyone who try will have to deal with my wrath because I will bring hell to them. You’re safe.”
“I’m safe.”
“That’s right,” he says, kissing my right cheek, then my left. “And you’re here with us. No one here will let anything happen to you.”
“Anyone fucks with you, sis, I’ll blow out the back of their head. Scouts honor.”
“Oh, shut up. You were never a fucking scout, and that’s not even the gesture for it. That’s Lowe’s promise.”
“Well, Lowe’s is a great place. Their promise should hold up.” Matias is the one who gets out of the car first.
Ryan laughs again, holding his stomach, and then snickers, covering his mouth as he tries to calm himself. “I can’t offer anything. I might be able to trip someone for you, but I don’t know how to fight or shoot a gun, so if you’re stuck with me, you’ll probably die. I’m sorry.” Ryan is laughing so hard that he has tears leaking from his eyes. “Sorry.” He clears his throat and awkwardly gets out of the car too.
Ari grins like a madman at me before standing outside the car, leaving me alone with Carmine.
“Gianni is already here. He scoped out the entire place to ensure everything was okay before entering. He was the one who put the lock on the cellar.”
I don’t know why that makes me breathe easier, but it does.
“Okay,” I say, with a fall of my shoulders.
“It will be okay. We will be okay.” He leans over the middle console and grabs me by the back of the head, smashing his lips against mine. “We will talk to your professor. I might threaten him if he says no.”
I giggle, leaning into his palm.
“And then we will go home, where I’ll rub every inch of your gorgeous body. How does that sound?”
“Sounds like a dream.”
But that’s Carmine. He’s always wanting to make my dreams come true.
