My mind is occupied by the thought of her. Day in and day out, all I see is her. When I sleep, I dream of her, when I eat, I have to have her next to me.
Which is why I have distanced myself from her.
I haven’t allowed her to leave the house. Bianchi’s warning about having only three days have come and gone. Two weeks have come and gone, and I’ve become a madman because I won’t let Rosie even step foot outside. I won’t let her get too close to the windows, which have all been replaced with bulletproof glass.
I’ve imprisoned her and I don’t care if it means keeping her safe.
I love her.
I love her fiercely, unhealthily, and obsessively.
I barely speak to her during the day but late at night, when she’s asleep, I slip into bed and kiss her shoulder.
I’ve been battling with myself. I’ve had to pull myself away from her to protect her. I’ve been planning a strategic attack with Matias and Gianni.
A big part of that plan is finding Zander.
“There’s been a vehicle driving by the gate every seven minutes,” Gianni informs me while I sit at my desk. My mind is only half here. Guilt racks me every day I’m not with Rosie. I’m trying so hard to keep her safe but the one person she isn’t safe from is me.
“It’s probably Bianchi trying to make good on his threat. I’m surprised he hasn’t attacked sooner.” I toss my pen down and rub my eyes. The lack of sleep is getting to me.
My wedding ring is cool against my skin, and I pull my hand away to look at it. I’m doing my duty as a husband, aren’t I? I can’t let her leave the estate. Anything could happen.
I shouldn’t have gotten so involved with her. I should have made the contract more hands-off. Sexual contact when only necessary like when she would be ovulating or maybe getting embryos implanted like she suggested would have been better because now I can’t think straight.
Now I love her.
Who am I kidding? Having sex with her when needed wouldn’t have been enough. I would have gotten addicted to her the moment I laid eyes on her body, the moment I sank my cock into her virgin cunt, I would have been addicted. She would have been mine just like she is now.
“I want you to follow that SUV,” I say, leaning back in my chair, suddenly so fucking tired of this bullshit that is Bianchi. “Don’t bring them back here. Kill them and have their bodies delivered to Amor. I want to show Bianchi I’m done waiting. We’re going to bring the fight to him.”
“Ari, can I speak frankly with you?”
I frown, spreading my arms to signal him to speak. “You always can. You know, you were my friend first. That hasn’t changed.”
“In this position, you rule with more hesitancy than your brother did. I understand why you wanted an alliance with Bianchi, but he would have never done it. I’m not saying either way is wrong or right, I’m just saying, sometimes the attempt into making alliances is not worth it.”
“That’s how it started, but I don’t give a fuck about it now. Bianchi knows I’d do anything for Rosie and now she’s in danger. I did all this to protect her. She’s here because of me. I can’t help but wonder if I would have just let her go with her family, what would have happened.”
“She would been killed, and you know it. You did the best you could at the time, regardless if it was selfish or not. She’s here now. She’s family. And we protect our family.” He brings his phone to his ear and relays a voice note to the security team next, “Meet me in the garage. We have a job to do.”
“Keep me updated on who is driving. Only take two other men with you. I need the rest here to protect Rosie.”
“And you,” he adds. “You as well.”
I don’t care about me. I only care about Rosie’s safety.
So much for keeping things strictly business with her. I was kidding myself. Things have never been business. The moment I saw her in the club, I knew she belonged to me.
“Right,” I say to Gianni with a tight smile. “And you’re right about being too soft. I won’t be doing that anymore.”
“I didn’t say you were soft. You are careful and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep the peace here, but sometimes in order to have peace, you have to fight through chaos.” Gianni spins on his heel and walks away, leaving me alone in the office.
I drop my head in my hands, “Fuck.” Maybe Carmine made the wrong decision. Maybe Matias would have been a better leader. He wouldn’t have let the threat of Bianchi go on for so long.
“Are you going to talk to me?”
Rosie’s voice cuts through my pity-party and my heart pumps a little louder when I finally hear her speak to me for the first time in days.
I don’t say anything, knowing I’m making the wrong decision, but she has to know I’m doing what’s best for her.
“Talk to me, Ari. Talk. To. Me.” She marches into the room and slams the door. “You are being an asshole.”
I narrow my eyes at her in warning and she scoffs, looking me up and down.
“You don’t get to be upset with me. You don’t get to question me when I curse at you because I have so many things I want to say.”
“Rosie—”
“—Oh! Oh, he speaks. Do you know what you’ve put me through the last few weeks? Do you know how alone I’ve been? We have an amazing night together. I thought we were building something and then the next morning I wake up and it’s like you were a whole new person. You haven’t even looked at me.”
I slam my hand on the desk and stand abruptly. The chair rolls back and hits the bookcase. “I look at you. I look at you every chance I fucking get. You think this is easy for me? Do you think I like having to do what I’m doing? I’m doing this for you.”
She sneers with disgust, swiping her arm across my desk and papers go flying. “Don’t you dare act like you’re doing this for me. Don’t you dare act like you aren’t a selfish son-of-a-bitch. You’re doing this for you.”
“That is the second time—”
“—I don’t give a fuck, Ari. I’ll do it again and again because when this conversation is over, you aren’t going to be able to do anything about it depending on how this ends. You are the one pulling away from me. You are the one who left me high and dry. You are the one keeping me locked in here—”
Fury bursts free from me. “Because I am keeping you safe! I am keeping you alive. Don’t forget who is out there looking for you. I am the one who came to you to keep you safe, remember? I am the one protecting you!” I pick up a snow globe that’s been sitting at the edge of the desk for years and toss it. The glass shatters against the wall, the water inside it drips down in rivulets, and Rosie doesn’t move an inch.
She’s fearless in ways that will get her killed.
Just like when she went into the club and ended up killing a man. She had no idea what she was doing, and that kind of recklessness will get her killed.
“You’re killing me.” She wraps her cardigan around herself tighter. “This isolation that you have somehow forced me into is killing me. I’m on a fucking island. The days are blending together. I don’t bother looking at the clock anymore because time doesn’t matter. My only lifeline was my family, and they are gone because I sacrificed myself for their happiness. I always sacrificed for them. I was never happy and finally, I thought…” She scoffs lightly, her arm dropping to her side after waving her hands around while she speaks. “I thought I had found happiness with you, even if it started out superficial. You made this decision on your own. You decided this without talking to me to figure out what I wanted.”
“What you want doesn’t matter,” I say harshly, leaning forward and spreading my palms across the table.
My words have her flinching as if I hit her which only breaks my heart further. I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck when the muscles begin to tighten and ache. “You need to understand why I’m doing this.”
“Nothing you say will make me understand why you’re acting like this because it goes against everything you’ve said to me over the last few weeks. You kept saying I was yours that…if I was pregnant, we’d be yours.”
Her eyes swim with tears, filled to the brim and I reach out for her, but she steps away from me, taking a piece of my heart with her.
“You lied,” she whispers, the words an emotional croak.
I run around the desk, slipping on a piece of paper on the floor and catching her wrist with my fingers. She fights me. She pulls and tugs, using her weight to set herself free.
“Let go of me,” she seethes through clenched teeth.
“Not until you hear me. Not until you listen.”
She rips herself from me, breaking our hold and she pushes against my chest so hard, my lower back hits the desk.
It surprisingly hurt.
“Fuck you!” Her eyes shine with hurt but her tongue twists with hate.
“Tesoro, please, listen to me.”
She points a finger at me, her jaw tense. “Don’t you dare call me that. Don’t you dare. You have no right. Not anymore. I’m not your treasure. I’m glad I took it upon myself to look it up instead of listening to you because you obviously don’t mean a thing you say.”
“That’s not true. I’m doing this for you, Rosie. I got close to you very fast. It was blinding my ability to protect you how I promised. Did you know Matias has killed three of Bianchi’s men who have tried to breach our property? To get to you. I can’t protect if I—” I stop myself from saying it because the words no longer matter.
I can’t protect her if I love her, but it’s too late for that isn’t it? I love her so much; it fills the cavity of my ribcage and makes it hard to breathe.
But if I’m not careful, it’s my love that will kill her.
I had hoped giving her my protection meant something, that it would save her, but she was damned either way, wasn’t she?
If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t be in danger. Without me, she would have been in danger. It seems Rosie can’t ever have a life of her own.
Unless I leave her be. We will stop all forms of physical contact even if it kills me and drives me insane slowly. We will wait and see if she’s pregnant and if she isn’t… or maybe even if she is, I’ll void the contract.
“I don’t know what kind of woman you take me for, but if there is one thing I’ve learned about myself, it’s that I won’t be sticking around and waiting for people to decide what kind of life they want with me.”
“Rosie—”
She holds up her hand to stop me from speaking and her lips pinch together as tears stream down her face. “—Don’t. I don’t need any more of your excuses, Ari.”
“There’s a lot at stake here. It’s life and death.”
“It always is,” she says, in a long daze.
She doesn’t blink. She doesn’t move. She’s completely checked out.
“Everything I told you that night in the shower is what I’m focused on,” I explain. “It won’t be like this forever. I’m going to make a move soon.”
“And what do you expect me to do, Ari? Do you want me to wait in the room like a good little girl, locked away so no one can hurt me, while you’re still in the same house but you might as well be a thousand miles away? Do you want me to wait until you’re finally ready to let me back in?”
I’m a selfish fuck. That’s exactly what I want her to do.
“You know, if you would have talked to me about your concern, if you would have let me in, shared your plan, I would have gladly listened to you if it meant I got to be by your side. If it meant you didn’t leave me lonely and held me. I can’t remember our last kiss. If I would have known—” a sob escapes her before she turns her head away, covering her mouth with her hand for a moment. “—It doesn’t matter. I can see whatever I thought this was….it isn’t.”
I shake my head and walk forward, needing to hold her, to reassure her, but she lifts her hand and I stop.
“Please, don’t. Don’t. I don’t…I can’t touch you right now.”
“Rosie.”
“Don’t.”
It’s the way she looks at me that makes me stop trying. The desperate plea shining in her eyes, the tears constantly wetting her face, and the defeat in them.
There’s no anger.
There’s only pain.
“You are my Tesoro, no matter what you believe,” I say to her, tucking my hands in my pockets to stop myself from reaching out and holding her.
I really haven’t held her in weeks.
I miss her body against mine.
I miss…everything.
But I can’t think straight when I’m around her.
And I can’t think straight when I’m not.
She grabs the door jam and pauses. She spins around and throws herself against me, holding my face in her hands as she kisses me. I swallow one of her sobs as our lips touch for the first time in too long. We hold one another, kissing desperately, and everything in my world rights itself.
Her tongue slides against mine and my brows furrow, focusing on putting everything I feel into this kiss.
It’s more than hot. It’s passionate.
And then she pulls away, fleeing out of the room before I have a chance to stop her.
My lips tingle and miss her presence immediately.
She fills the room with electricity, either from rage or pain, and I feed off it because I’ve seen her peace. I’ve felt it.
For the first time in a long time, regret rolls through my stomach and I grab the chair as a crutch.
Goddamn it, I’m a fucking idiot.
I don’t know how long I stand there, but I zone out, not thinking about anything other than royally fucking up. My heart is racing, and my head is spinning.
I’m not cut out for this. I never have been.
I take a seat, lowering my head between my legs to breathe and get my shit together. I’m not like my older brother Carmine when it comes to emotions. My emotions live on my damn sleeve, and everyone knows it. Now, I’m angry at Carmine for setting me up to fail. He knew I wasn’t cut out for this. Emotions have no place in this world we live in.
My jaw suddenly hurts, and I find myself flat on my back, staring up at a concerned Matias. My ears ring and my cheek throbs. My vision swims for a second and my name is being called in the distance. I finally come to and launch my fist against Matias’s face, my knuckles meeting his chin.
“What the fuck?” I groan, getting to my feet.
“What the hell is wrong with you? I’ve been shouting your name for ten fucking minutes.”
“Ten minutes?” I rub my cheek and look at my watch.
Holy shit.
Have I been out of it for nearly an hour? Where did the time go?
The alarms are ringing full blast and once again, time slows. No one needs to tell me what this is about. I run out of the room, sprinting to the master bedroom. I hear Matias’s heavy feet behind me and he’s yelling at me, but I can’t hear him from my pulse beating loud in my ears.
I open the door and stand there, still, holding my breath as I look around for any sign of her. The bed is a mess still from when we slept in it, but the room is dull. The spark of her is gone.
“Where is she?” The words are quiet, calm, and I’m barely able to keep myself under control.
“I don’t know.”
The words have me turning slowly, a cold dread settling in my bones. The emotion I was so worried about is gone and the man Carmine trained me to be, surges forward. In two large steps, I have my brother against the wall, gripping him by his shirt.
“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know? Where. Is. My. Wife!” I shout the title so close to his face, I know he can feel the warmth of my breath.
“Ari, I don’t know. She was here and suddenly, she wasn’t. I don’t know how she got around the security, but we’re looking at the cameras.”
“And the car that was driving back and forth by the gate? What’s the update on that?”
“Don’t know. They vanished. We searched for them for hours.”
“And then you came back, and my wife is gone.” I let him go. “Fuck!” I gutturally shout.
“Ari!” Gianni’s voice echoes from down the hall and I hurry down the hall, hoping he has answers.
The alarms stop wailing and Gianni holds an envelope out to me. “This was attached to the gate.”
I don’t open it yet. “How the fuck did someone get to the gate?” I pull the gun from the waistband of my slacks and pull the hammer, placing the barrel under his chin. “This shouldn’t have happened, so you need to tell me how it did.”
“Nothing seemed amiss,” he explains steadily. “Rosie must have had the codes to everything. It’s why nothing was questioned.”
“Then how did the alarms get tripped?” I ask.
“I sounded them when I found she was missing,” Matias explains. “I wanted the entire compound to know.”
I press the barrel into Gianni’s chin. “I want a complete rework of the security systems. I want an explanation as to why this was so fucking easy. I’ve been keeping her safe all this time and for what? I want every single man who works for me called to the conference room. Now. I want fucking answers and I don’t care who I have to kill to get them. Do you understand me?”
“I understand.”
“And when we find her, you’re going to be her fucking bodyguard. If I can’t be by her side, you will be.” I drop the gun and slide the hammer in place, throwing the safety on to be sure before tucking it back in my waistband.
I rip open the envelope and the simple gold wedding band slides out, clanking on the counter. The note is short and to the point.
“If you want her back, give me the gem.”
I crinkle the note and throw it.
“Fuck the plan we made. We’re going to Amor.”
And I’m shooting every man who tries to get in my way.
