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P.S. I’m Still Yours: Chapter 8

HADLEY

I blink repeatedly, as if to make sure my half-asleep brain isn’t deceiving me. “Jamie?”

An infectious smile curls on her face. “Bitch, how could you not tell me you were back?”

I’ve missed many things about the beach house in the past five years—lazy afternoons on the beach, skipping stones at the docks with the guys, eating double my body weight in pizza at Sandy’s—but nothing more than I’ve missed Jamie Torres.

I pull her into my arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even know I was coming back until a few hours ago. How did you find out I was…” I withdraw from the hug, giving her a once-over. “What are you wearing?”

This isn’t the right question.

The right question would’ve been, why are you wearing a uniform from Sandy’s? I’d recognize that salmon-pink, short-sleeved button-up shirt anywhere.

I put two and two together. “Do you work at Sandy’s?”

She nods. “For three years now.”

I can’t believe she still lives in Hillford.

Growing up, she couldn’t stop saying how eager she was to get out of this town. I’m guessing her extended stay has something to do with her dad—he got diagnosed with Parkinson’s a little before Mr. Wilder died.

Knowing Jamie, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d put her life on hold to take care of him. She’s always been so grateful to him for raising her and her brother all on his own after their mom bailed.

I circle back to my initial question. “How did you know I was here?”

“I knew someone had bought the house, but I didn’t know who. You can imagine what went through my head when I heard we had a delivery for this address. Under Evie’s name, no less. Then I rang the doorbell, and your mom opened the door. I thought I was hallucinating.”

“Girl, it’s been ages. We have so much to catch up on.”

She grins. “Well, then I guess it’s a good thing you’re staying for the summer.” She must notice the question marks multiplying in my eyes because she adds, “Your mom told me all about her flooded apartment.”

I have to admit I thought seeing her again after all these years would be awkward, but it’s like nothing has changed—well, apart from Jamie’s new eyebrow piercing and her haircut.

Her hair used to be much longer. Not only is it shoulder-length now, but she also dyed it light brown with amber highlights. It sure is a big change from her natural blonde hair.

I’m not sure where to begin. “So, how’s everything?”

“You know, same old, same old. My life’s pretty much all work these days. I’m starting college at the end of the summer. I was supposed to enroll earlier, but I had to defer to take care of my dad.”

“Right. How is your dad?”

Color drains from her face.

Shit.

“He, um… He passed away three months ago.”

Nice going, Hadley.

“Jamie, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“What happened?”

“He had a stroke. Although, if I’m being honest, his quality of life was declining super fast by the end. He couldn’t walk. Or swallow. He told me when he first got diagnosed that if it ever got to that point, he’d want to go, and, well… he got his wish.”

I ache for her. “How are you holding up? Really?”

“Some days are harder than others, but I’m getting there. It’s Cal I’m worried about. He’s been in denial since it happened. He went away to college and missed the last years of Dad’s life, and I think he hates himself for it. He just got back for the summer, and he won’t even acknowledge Dad.”

“Hold on, you mean he took off while you stayed to take care of your dad all by yourself?”

Sounds a bit selfish.

She nods. “Yeah… but I understand why he did it. He knew if he stayed, he’d break. We couldn’t both break at the same time.”

Memories of Jamie’s brother, Callum, return to me.

Gray, Vince, Cal, and Kane used to be this inseparable quartet growing up—granted, Jamie and I tagged along everywhere they went, so it was more like a sextet. The little shits couldn’t go a day without landing themselves in trouble.

“I was actually thinking about that time Gray dared Cal to lick that guy’s bald spot the other day, and…” Her words trail off. “Oh my God, Gray.”

Realization seems to slap her in the face.

“Hadley, I… I’m so sorry we couldn’t make it to the funeral.”

I shake my head. “You and Cal were all alone and taking care of your father. Don’t worry about it for a second.”

She cringes. “Still. I wish I could’ve been there for you.”

“I know.” I flash a grateful smile. “I appreciate it.”

“Did they…” She pauses, carefully choosing her words. “Did they ever catch the guy?”

Anger rises in my chest. “No.”

In all fairness, they didn’t have much to go on.

You’d think the fact that we had outdoor and indoor cameras recording the whole thing would’ve made for an open-and-shut case, but it was night when the murderer’s van pulled up, and the quality was so bad we couldn’t even make out the license plate.

I can still see the passenger-side door flying open and the masked man jumping out before booking it inside the store. He was packing a gun under his jacket.

To make things worse, the cameras my mom had installed didn’t have audio. Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference. Or… maybe it would’ve changed everything.

For all we know, we would’ve recognized the killer’s voice. Or been able to trace it back to him based on the conversation he had with Gray.

The footage inside the store shows the dirtbag running his mouth while pointing his gun at sixteen-year-old Gray, who stood behind the counter with his hands in the air and gut-wrenching panic on his face.

My mom didn’t allow me to watch the rest—because it fucked her up emotionally and mentally—but from what she told me, the bastard got Gray to dump the content of the cash register into a large bag.

After that, he rushed to the door to leave, giving the impression that the nightmare would end there.

That’s when Gray said something under his breath, a look of shock and realization plastered to his face.

It was a few words, at most. No one could tell what, thanks to the blurry, pixelated footage, but it made the guy stop dead.

The shitbag didn’t move for a few seconds.

Then he turned around.

And shot my brother in the head.

Gray died instantly.

I remember my mom’s desperate cries late at night. The way she would call his name and beg for her boy to come back when she thought I was asleep. When she wasn’t asking for her son back, she was asking for answers.

And we got some, but nothing of real substance.

The detectives later found the van from the surveillance tapes abandoned in a ditch, and after running the plates, it came up as stolen. They did pull fingerprints from the car, but none were registered in the database, making them useless.

Mom wound up hiring a private investigator once it became clear the cops weren’t going to solve the case. She worked day and night behind the very counter where her kid was murdered just so she could afford the investigator’s services, but nothing came of it.

Whoever killed my brother is still out there, walking free while Gray is rotting away underground.

“That’s fucking horrible.” Jamie’s features twitch with a hint of rage, but I refuse to match her reaction. I almost drove myself mad with anger. I’m not doing it again.

I quickly change the topic. “Can you believe the last time I was here, Gray and your dad were still alive?”

She lets out a bitter laugh. “And Kane wasn’t a famous asshole. Did you know he ghosted all of us?”

My jaw goes slack.

“Wait, he ghosted you, too?”

“Oh yeah. Well, he ghosted the guys. Didn’t even answer one of their texts. Such a dick move.”

I can’t help the scoff shooting from my lips. “Preaching to the choir, sister.”

“I swear if I ever see him again, I might have to sucker punch him in his moneymaking face.”

I pause.

She has no idea, does she?

“My mom didn’t tell you?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Tell me what?”

“He’s moving back for the summer. His mom wants him to lay low for a while.”

“He what?” she blurts out, earning herself a chuckle.

“I know.” I share the sentiment. “Oh, and get this. It’s not just him. Dude is bringing his whole team with him. His drummer, his publicist, his fucking private chef.”

Her eyes widen. “Holy shit.”

“Holy shit indeed.”

“Have you seen him at all since he kissed you?”

Jamie’s the only person, apart from Lacey, I told about our kiss in the shed. I texted her the second it happened.

She’s known about my crush on Kane since we were kids. I didn’t even have to tell her. It was that obvious.

“Nope. Unless you count the time he showed up to Gray’s funeral, completely shit-faced.”

Her jaw drops. “No way?”

“Yup. He could barely walk.”

“Damn… And you’re sure you’re ready to see him again?”

Am I ready to share a house with the guy who stole my first kiss and ripped my heart to shreds on my birthday?

Hell no.

“Whatever. It was a long time ago.”

My bedroom door opens the next second, and Mom pops her head into the gap.

“Sorry to interrupt, girls. Hadley, your food’s going to get cold.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Mom closes the door and jogs back down the stairs.

“I should probably get back to work,” Jamie says.

I trap her in a parting embrace. “It was so good to see you. Thanks for stopping by.”

She squeezes me a little. “You too.”

She’s halfway to the door when she halts and shoulder-checks me.

“You got any plans tomorrow night? My friends and I are having dinner at my place. Just something low-key with cocktails and takeout.”

“Nope, no plans. You, Cal, and Vince are the only people I know around here. About that—do you know if Vince’s parents still vacation here?”

She nods. “Yep. Every summer without fail. He messaged the group chat just this morning, actually. He’s getting back into town tomorrow night.”

There’s a group chat?

I’m a little hurt, even though I get why I wasn’t included. After all, I stopped visiting Golden Cove years ago while Cal, Vince, and Jamie continued to get together.

Jamie’s obviously gifted with telepathy because she adds, “It’s not that we didn’t want to include you. It’s just… we didn’t want to spam you with messages, and it had been so long.”

“You really don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know. I just don’t want you to think I didn’t want to talk to you anymore, because I did. I should’ve reached out more often. I—”

I cut her off. “Jamie, it’s okay. Really. No hard feelings.”

We’ve barely spoken these past five years, so absorbed by our own lives and tragedies that we inevitably drifted apart, but now that I’m seeing her again, I wish I’d tried harder to keep in touch.

It’s just one of those situations where it’s no one’s fault.

Her shoulders drop with relief. “Anyway, I’m going to add you real quick.”

She unlocks her phone to do just that, but then she notices the time. “Shit, now I really have to get back to work.” She trails to the door. “See you tomorrow, my place? Six o’clock?”

I nod. “Sounds good. It should give me enough time to go drop some résumés around town.”

If I’m going to be stuck here all summer, I might as well make some money out of it. Getting a job would also give me an excuse to stay out of the house and avoid Kane.

Jamie’s eyes light up with interest. “Wait, you’re looking for a job? Because we have an opening at Sandy’s. This girl I used to work with got knocked up by her mom’s boyfriend, and they shipped her off to boarding school.”

I fake gasp. “How scandalous.”

She laughs. “Please. This is nothing compared to the shit I hear on a daily basis. I’m telling you, the tea gets so hot it almost makes up for having to wear this shit.” She gestures to her pink uniform. “I might even be able to get Fred to pay you a few dollars above minimum wage. He’s been working for two since Trudy got sent away. Poor guy is desperate.”

“Is Fred your boss?”

“Yes.” Her eyes grow in realization. “I have to ask, do you have any waitressing experience?”

I cringe. “Not really.”

Doubt flashes in her eyes, her smile waning.

“But I worked at my mom’s store in high school, so I’m good with people. And I’m a fast learner. Plus, I have nothing going on, so I’m free anytime. Days, nights, weekends. Doesn’t matter.”

Her smile is back in an instant. “See? Selling yourself already. Let me talk to him, and I’ll get back to you about an interview.”

I give her a grateful smile. “That would be great. Thank you so much.”

She shoots me a grin over her shoulder and walks out.


I go to bed early that night.

I figured I’d toss and turn, but I was certain I’d manage to quiet my mind after a while. It would seem I failed to take into account that I’m not just nervous about what’s going to happen tomorrow.

I’m fucking scared.

Scared to see Kane again.

Scared that I’ll look him in the eyes and see a stranger.

Or worse.

That I’ll recognize him.

The boy I knew.

The boy who once threw himself at a guy three times his size to protect his mom.

That boy had broken ribs, a broken guitar, and an even more broken soul, so it should come as no surprise that in the end, he was the one to break my heart.

I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep for hours now. I’m exhausted, but I can’t get my thoughts to stop racing long enough for my body to relax.

Oh, and I have to pee.

I have to pee so freaking bad my bladder might explode if I don’t go soon. I should’ve known better than to down three of Evie’s famous margaritas with dinner.

It’s a little after 5:00 a.m. when I roll out of bed and make my way to the second-floor bathroom.

The house is dark, bordering on creepy, as I rub my eyes and slink down the hall.

I’m so out of it I only notice the light peeking underneath the door once I’m a few feet away. I realize the shower is running in the background and stop dead.

That’s when I hear him.

“Are you deaf? I told you to leave.”

Holy shit.

Kane?

“You had a long flight. Let me help you relax,” someone answers.

It’s a woman’s voice.

I’d say she’s in her twenties.

No one speaks for the next few seconds, but the sound of a zipper and the sharp breath leaving Kane’s lips tells me Mystery Girl is not the quitting type.

“Get your fucking hands off my cock if you want to keep your job.”

Her job?

Wait…

She works for him?

I remember Evie mentioning he was bringing a few of his employees with him.

There was his publicist.

And his sober sponsor.

“Stop bitching. I know you want me.” The girl ignores his threat.

“Look, Tori… Tori, is it?”

Her name is Tori.

That’s his sober sponsor, I think.

“How do I put this in a way your tiny fucking brain will understand? I don’t want you.”

I assume it’s going to end there until she says, “Even if I do my hair like her?”

Like her? Her who?

There’s a beat of silence.

“Get on your knees.”

What the fuck?

Not even a second ago, he was kicking her out, and now he’s into it?

I hear what sounds like someone dropping to the floor.

“That’s right, baby. I can be whoever you want me to be.”

He groans. “No talking.”

I wish I could see through doors when silence fills the air.

“Like this?” Tori asks.

“Make it higher.” I’m guessing he’s commenting on her hair.

“What about now?”

“Better.” I cringe all the way to my bones.

Why am I still here?

I should go back to bed or sneak downstairs to use the bathroom instead of listening to the first boy I ever loved get a sloppy blow job from his employee.

“Same as last time?”

Just fucking go, Hadley.

“Deeper,” he instructs.

I hear his pants fall to the floor, his belt clinking against the bathroom tiles.

“You’re so big,” Tori moans.

“Last warning,” he spits. He’s asked her to shut up twice now.

She doesn’t comply. “I can make you feel so much better than she can.”

That’s what does it for him.

“Fuck this.”

I understand he’s shoved his pants back on when I hear his zipper being pulled up.

“Wait, I’m sorry, I—”

“I’m only going to say this once, so I’d listen if I were you. I’m going to go take a shower, sleep for like fourteen hours, and you are going to get your shit and get the fuck out of my house.”

“Are you… firing me?”

He gasps. “So, you do have a brain.”

“You can’t do this. I’ll tell everyone what we did!”

His laugh chills me to the bones. “You do that and I’ll sue you out of every fucking cent you’re ever going to earn in your miserable life. You signed an NDA, remember? And a foolproof one, at that.”

Tori huffs an indignant “You’re an asshole.”

It doesn’t faze Kane one bit. “No shit. Bye now.”

The door swings open before I can even think of hiding.

I’m frozen.

No, I’m a goddamn ice statue at this point.

The first person I see is this Tori girl. I drink her in, analyzing her freckles and hairstyle.

Then my gaze lands on him.

The most hated celebrity on the face of the earth.

He’s shirtless, leaning back against the bathroom counter with his messy brown hair dangling in front of his eyes. He looks like a fucking god, I can’t even lie.

His jaw is sharper than a knife, and you would think his body was designed by the world’s best sculptors—although credit probably goes to his personal trainer and crazy-strict diet.

I zero in on his tattoo. He has a bleeding rose with thorns wrapped around a guitar on his shoulder, the ink stretching over to his right pec. He’s nothing like the boy I remember.

He’s a man now.

The most attractive man I’ve ever seen.

And no one’s more bitter about it than I am.

He hasn’t noticed me yet. But Tori doesn’t hesitate to remedy that.

“Who the hell are you?”

Kane’s green eyes lift to mine in a heartbeat, and I’m faced with my worst fear.

Everything else is unfamiliar.

But his eyes…

I know them.

I know him.

Kane doesn’t look like a stranger.

He just looks like an older, toughened-by-life version of himself. However, I must look very different because color spills from his skin the second we make eye contact.

“Hadley?”

I thought when we saw each other again, he’d show little to no reaction. But the way he said my name—with utter disbelief—makes me wonder if he knew I’d be spending the summer at the beach house.

Did Evie forget to tell him?

He starts to say something, but he can’t finish his sentence.

Because I’m already racing down the stairs.

I can’t help picturing his sober sponsor on my way down, the similarities between us impossible to ignore.

She’s a redhead, just like me.

But the craziest part?

She had her hair in a ponytail…


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