I CAN’T BELIEVE I just said that. I wish I could take it back. We keep circling around the subject because he’s not interested in me like that. Well, he is, but he isn’t. And his mixed signals always leaving me confused isn’t good for my soul. I don’t need to try and get involved with someone like that.
But the things he admits to me, the way he looks at me…I love every bit of that. His fingers are currently tracing circles on my bare shoulder, and his body heat has seeped into me, leaving me hot enough that I swear I’m going to break out into a sweat.
His intense gaze focuses on my lips and he stares for a beat too long. To the point that it’s probably not appropriate, how he’s looking at my mouth. As if he’s imagining all the things he could stick in it.
Yeah. I just went there.
“You want me to kiss you?”
I nod, unable to speak. Afraid of what I might say.
He licks his lips, and oh my God, that was so…arousing. What is he trying to do to me? “Someone could see us.”
I glance around the tiny room. There’s a couple standing in the archway. He’s leaning against the wall and she’s standing in front of him, the two of them engaged in a serious conversation. Otherwise, no one else is around. No one is paying us any attention. “Who? I see no one I know.”
“Doesn’t mean they’re not watching.” His smile is slow and naughty, making me melt. I squirm, pressing my thighs together, and when those fingers streak down the side of my arm, I almost slide off the couch.
Okay, I’m exaggerating. A little.
“Let them watch,” I whisper as his head descends, his lips drawing close.
Even closer…
They brush mine, light and fleeting, and tingles spread all over my body, making me shiver. He pulls away before I can register that he actually kissed me, his gaze hooded and zeroed in on my mouth. “We need to get the fuck out of here.”
The promise in his voice is what has me pulling away from him and rising to my feet. He does the same, heading for the front door, without a word, and I follow him. He holds the door open for me and I exit the frat house, pleased when he keeps pace next to me as we cross the crowded porch. He ignores the guys who shout his name as we descend the stairs. Ignores everyone as we walk down the walkway and turn onto the sidewalk, heading for his car.
Our pace is brisk. Our breathing slightly heavy. Still no words are said and my imagination is going wild with all the possibilities.
He hits the key fob when we draw closer to his car, rushing ahead of me to hold the door open for me. I crawl into the passenger seat, my breath lodged in my throat when he jogs around the front of the car and throws open the driver’s door, sliding into the seat and slamming the door hard before he starts the engine, then turns to me.
I stare at him expectantly, still not breathing. I don’t know how I’m able to function. He’s so close. So tempting. So deliciously Cam. I see the conflict in his gaze. The pain in his expression. He’s torn. His loyalty to my brother is admirable but…
I want him to be more loyal to me.
His gaze drops to my chest, lingering there, and I swear my nipples harden the longer he stares. I’m not wearing a bra. It would take nothing for him to tug on the fabric and expose me. To put his hands on me. His mouth…
An agonized groan leaves him, and he leans in, his mouth hovering above mine, but not quite touching. “If we do this, it changes everything.”
“Promise?”
He tilts his head to the side, his mouth finding mine with ease. A sigh of total relief leaves me when he kisses me again and again. Soft, sweet kisses. Gentle presses of his lips. As if he’s testing me. I kiss him in return, my lips parting more and more with every pass, until his tongue sneaks out, teasing the seam of my lips, sliding past them. I touch his tongue with mine, pleasure rippling through me when he moans.
Cam reaches for me, his hands landing on my waist, lightly tugging. I break away from him first, both of us breathing harder, our gazes meeting. His pupils are dilated and his lips are parted.
He’s achingly beautiful. I can’t take looking at him for too long. It hurts my heart too much. I never thought this could actually happen.
“We can’t do this here.”
His dark brows draw together. “Why the fuck not?”
“Anyone can pass by.” I wave a hand toward the window. “Everyone knows this is your car.”
“No one can see us.”
“And I refuse to be just another number in the Challenger,” I add, which is the real reason I refuse to make out with Cam in this car.
I’m not going to be a statistic to add to his long list of hookups.
“Let’s go.” His voice is deep. Quiet. Full of hidden meaning. I stare at him as he starts the engine, puts the car in drive and pulls onto the street with a roar of squealing tires.
I almost want to laugh, but there’s nothing funny about the way he’s looking at me. He’s so intense. So freaking quiet as he drives through the streets, heading God knows where. Just…anywhere but this neighborhood.
Shock courses through me when he turns into his apartment parking lot minutes later.
“Really?” I ask when he parks the car. “Here?”
“Where else?” He shrugs. “Come on.”
He’s out of the car before I can say another word, opening my door for me and offering me his hand. I take it, loving how it completely engulfs mine when he tugs me out of the car, pressing me against the side, his body pinning me there. I press my hands against his chest before he can kiss me, the confusion obvious on his face.
“Where’s Knox?”
Cam glances around the parking lot, frowning when his gaze meets mine. “In our apartment.”
“I can’t go in there.” I shake my head. No way.
“I can sneak you in.” His gaze turns pleading. “It’s late. He’s probably already asleep.”
“What if he’s not?” Anxiety claws at my chest. This is not how I want my brother to find out about us.
I don’t even know if there’s actually an us yet.
“Come on.” He pulls away from me, grabbing my hand and leading me toward his apartment building.
Despite my worry, giddiness rises within me, leaving me shaky. Nervous. I can’t believe we’re doing this. Even crazier, I can’t believe Cam is so willingly dragging me to his apartment. We’re taking a huge risk here.
What if Knox is still awake? What then? How are we going to explain ourselves?
When we’re in front of their apartment door, Cam places his finger to his lips, making a shushing noise before he shoves his key in the lock and undoes it, opening the door and sticking just his head inside.
“It’s dark in here,” he whispers to me. “He’s asleep.”
“You don’t know that for sure,” I whisper back.
He glances over his shoulder. “Hold on.”
Cam leaves me out on the front stoop of their apartment, shutting the door behind him. I wait, wrapping my arms around myself to ward off the cool breeze that washes over me. The chill in the air sobers me up and worry gnaws at my thoughts, making me think a little clearer.
This is way too risky. We’re being ridiculous. Knox is going to be so pissed—
“Coast is clear.” The door swings open, and Cam is standing there, quickly ushering me inside, an intense gleam in his gaze as he reaches for me.
I follow him into the apartment, my eyes barely having enough time to adjust to the darkness when he grabs my hand and pulls me in deeper. We’re quiet. I don’t even hear us breathe as he tugs me into his room, shutting the door behind us with a soft click. I hear the turn of the lock…
And then he’s on me, as if he’s a starving man, his hands on my waist, his mouth finding mine even in the absolute darkness of his bedroom. I reach for him, circling my arms around his neck as I open to him immediately, our tongues gliding together, his hands roaming upward, lightly touching my skin that’s exposed, thanks to the cut-outs of my dress.
It’s like this for long, delicious minutes. Us kissing and kissing, my jaw growing tired, my entire body on fire from his touch. His lips. I gasp into his mouth when his fingers slide beneath the fabric of my dress, touching the bare skin of my waist, moaning when he shifts to my throat. I tilt my head back, hitting it against the wall when he kisses his way down my neck, licking and sucking my sensitive skin.
I open my eyes, staring into the darkness, my fingers sinking into his hair, clutching him to me. It feels like all of my dreams are coming true, being with Cam like this. His mouth on my skin, his hands on my body. He’s solid and warm and I can feel him, hard and insistent against my hip.
“I’m not.” He pants against my skin. “Having sex.” He sinks his teeth into the spot where my neck meets my shoulder, making me gasp. “With you.”
I go completely still, and he lifts his head so his gaze meets mine. Only a sliver of light shines in through the blinds on his window, but I can make out his handsome face. The seriousness swirling in his gaze. This man is incredibly confusing. “Why not?”
“Your brother is in the next room for one.”
I wince. Didn’t really need the reminder. “Why did you sneak me into your apartment then?”
A ragged exhale leaves him and he presses his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. “Because I had to.” The agony in his voice makes my stomach flip. “And you make me fucking insane.”
It feels good, knowing he’s all twisted up over me, just like I am over him. At least I’m not alone in this predicament, considering for the longest time, I thought I was the only one willing to take it another step.
“Can we cuddle at least?” I trace my fingers down his firm chest slowly, up and down.
“Cuddle?” His voice is hoarse. Raspy. He says the word like a curse.
I nod, rising up on my tiptoes, circling my arms around his neck, my mouth at his ear. “It’ll be nice. I promise.”
His arms circle around my waist, pulling me completely into him, our bodies molded. Fitting together perfectly. He’s solid and hot and hard as a rock, and I initiate the kiss this time, taking from him exactly what I want. Kissing him with total abandon.
He responds, his arms tightening their hold, his mouth becoming more insistent. I let him take over, my tongue tangling with his, our simultaneous moans ringing in the air a little too loudly.
Cam breaks the kiss, his hand slipping over my mouth, covering it lightly. “We can’t be loud,” he whispers. “Someone might hear.”
At least he didn’t say my brother’s name out loud. Talk about a mood killer.
Slipping out of his hold, his hand drops from my mouth at the same time I duck and make my escape, heading for the bed. It’s neatly made with two very flat pillows and I grimace, turning toward him.
“Your pillows…”
“I like ‘em flat,” he says when I don’t finish the sentence. He’s reaching for the front of his shirt, undoing the buttons, and I stare, excitement bubbling within me at every inch of skin that’s revealed.
“I don’t,” I counter, my mouth going dry when he finishes with the buttons and shrugs out of his shirt.
I eat him up with my gaze. His shoulders and neck and chest and pecs. His rib cage and that flat expanse of stomach. The ridges there. His navel and the thin line of hair that leads from the bottom of it, disappearing into the waistband of his jeans.
“When you say cuddle, do you mean naked?” His voice sounds so hopeful, I can’t help but giggle.
“No.” I shake my head. “You’re the one who said we can’t have sex, Cam.”
“Right.” He looks like he might regret that decision.
“And I can’t give it up to you the first night we kiss.”
“All of our conversations have been foreplay, B.”
“Don’t you think we should continue the foreplay for a little while longer?” I need to make sure he’s serious about this. About me. I refuse to let him fuck me and then forget me.
Nope.
His groan is loud, and now it’s my turn to rush toward him, slapping my hand over his mouth. “He’ll hear you.”
He nods, his hand coming up to circle around my wrist and remove my hand from his face. I let him, my mouth popping open when he licks my palm. The sight of his tongue does something to my insides, lighting me up.
Setting me on fire.
Slowly, he pulls away from me, his hands going to the waistband of his jeans, his gaze locked on mine.
“No naked cuddling then?” he asks with an arched brow.
I slowly shake my head, telling myself I cannot be tempted. “Nope.”
“You won’t take off the dress?”
“There needs to be some mystery here, Cam.” I rest my hands on my hips, my tone a little stern. A lot teasing. My resolve is totally weak when it comes to this man.
He’s currently taking off his jeans. He is literally stripping right in front of me, kicking off his shoes before he tugs the denim from his body. I wish the lights were on so I could really ogle him. Standing here in the semi-darkness and trying to get a good look at everything is proving difficult.
“I’m all for giving up on the mystery part.” He falls onto the edge of the mattress, shoving at his jeans until they’re completely off, leaving a denim lump on his floor. “If you want.”
“Cam.”
“Just saying.” He jumps to his feet, moving quickly as he yanks back the comforter and pats the mattress. “Join me?”
I toe off my shoes, nerves making my stomach churn. “Okay,” I whisper.
He frowns. “You sound nervous.”
“I’m a little nervous,” I admit.
“I’ll keep my hands to myself.” He lifts them up above his head.
That is the last thing I want, though I don’t say so. Instead, I tug the covers down on my side of the bed and crawl beneath them, yanking the comforter up so I’m completely covered.
Cam slides beneath it, the heat radiating off his body and reaching toward me. Trying to lure me in.
It takes everything I have to stay on my side of the bed, the comforter tucked under my chin, my entire body covered. I watch him as he pulls the comforter to about mid-chest, his pecs and shoulders on total display. My gaze greedily roams all over his exposed skin, my heart hammering in my chest at having him so close.
Touchable close.
Kissable close.
Wrap myself all around him and melt into his skin close.
What made him change his mind, inviting me into his home? With Knox sleeping in the bedroom next to us?
My heart starts hammering for a different reason.
“Cam?”
“Yeah?”
“What are we doing?”
He’s quiet for a moment, the air heavy when he says…
“I don’t really know.”
