I’M FUCKING HORNY.
It’s bad. All I can think about is Blair. Sexy as fuck Blair gasping and shaking when the orgasm took over her. Hot as hell Blair grinding her pussy on my dick. Offering to take care of me. Wearing my shirt and hoodie, looking cute as hell in my clothes.
The conflict has weighed heavy on my mind since Tuesday morning when I woke up with an aching dick and the memory of her pussy gripping my fingers so damn tight. It was too much. Not enough. I’m totally into her. I shouldn’t touch her again.
I told myself I would leave her alone and I did. I spotted her a few times on campus and went right when she went left. Another time, I found her heading straight for me and turned to go in the other direction. It was for the best. Knox is going to murder me. He might murder her too. We don’t need to die at the hands of one of my favorite people. I’d rather be his friend than fuck his sister.
At least that’s what I kept telling myself until we ran into her only a few minutes ago. Looking hot as shit wearing that green get-up that clung to her body like a second skin. Her hair was up in a ponytail, her eyes extra green, thanks to the outfit, and all I could think about was getting her out of it.
Instead, I talked to her about workouts and got her phone number because my mama didn’t raise no fool. I can finally text and call her freely, though I should probably have her contact name say something different than Blair.
I’m staring at my phone right now while Knox drives us back to our apartment, smiling as Blair and I keep texting. She hit me with we’ll see when I mentioned we should get together.
Yeah, we’ll see all right. I’ll be seeing plenty of her later tonight because I can guarantee we’re getting together. Somewhere preferably with a bed.
“What are you smiling at?” Knox asks out of nowhere, irritation in his voice.
“Nothing.” I send Blair a quick response and pocket my phone. “Texting a girl.”
Knox grins, all irritation gone, just like that. “Some hottie you met at Logan’s?”
“Something like that,” I say, purposely vague.
“I’m, uh, seeing a girl tonight.” He clears his throat, suddenly uncomfortable.
“Who?” I think I know who. I’m just trying to torture him.
“Joanna.”
“Bookstore girl?”
“Yeah.”
“She seems nice.”
“I like her.” I glance over at Knox, catching him swallowing hard, like that was tough to admit. “A lot.”
“That’s great, man.” I’m not going to be a dick and discourage him from seeing her. If that’s who he wants, then he should go for it.
“You’re not going to tell me it’s a dumb idea to start dating someone now? At this point in our lives?”
It is a ridiculous idea for him to start dating someone now. His last year in college, during the most important football season of his life. He’s going to be busy as shit—we all are—and next thing we know, he’ll be getting drafted and moving on to a professional team. Now is not the time to start a relationship that has more potential to fail than anything else.
But who am I to judge, when I’m thinking about the same thing? And even worse, I’m determined to keep it under wraps because I don’t want Knox to find out I have a serious—thing for his sister.
I don’t know what else to call it, but Jesus, she’s all I think about. This isn’t some occasional booty-call, hookup scenario. At least, I don’t think it is.
“I’m not,” I finally say, keeping my voice neutral. “You do you, bro. I just want you happy. And she doesn’t seem to be fucking with your mojo out on the field.”
“She’s not. It’s the weirdest thing. I was always afraid getting with just one girl would make me lose my focus, but I swear to God, I feel more determined out on that field than ever. I am fucking untouchable right now.” Knox slaps the steering wheel for emphasis.
“That’s great.” I’m the slightest bit envious of his ability to freely see whomever he wants, whenever he wants, and to be able to talk about her too.
“I’d recommend you do the same, though I don’t know if you’re looking for anything serious.” Knox chuckles. “A girl will set you straight, bro.”
“I’m sure.”
“And I’m serious. Though you should probably steer clear of my sister.”
Unease slips into my veins, reminding me of what I’m doing, and how mad he’s going to be if he ever finds out.
I’m only fooling myself. He’s eventually going to find out.
“You two were kind of, I don’t know, flirting earlier?” I glance over at Knox to find him sending me quick looks, while also trying to keep his eye on the road. “It was weird.”
“That’s why you said we were being weird?”
“Yeah. Look, I know I always tell everyone to back off from Blair, even you, but there’s a reason for me saying that.”
“A reason beyond you just being an overprotective asshole?” My tone is light. I’m teasing.
Not really.
“Ha ha,” Knox says, the sarcasm thick in those two short words. “But really. When it comes to Blair, I worry about her.”
“Why?”
“When she falls, she falls hard. She’s all in. And every single one of her boyfriends did a number on her.”
“Seriously?” I do not want to hear this. Nope.
Okay fine. I’m dying for more details.
“Yeah. God damn, it was so bad when her high school boyfriend broke it off with her. I thought she was going to fling herself off a bridge. She was so freaking upset. Crying all the damn time. Mom always having to console her. It was a lot.”
I hate hearing that. Knowing she was crying over someone who wasn’t worth her tears. “Did you know that loser?”
“Yeah, but I was here when they split. It was their senior year. Little dickhead broke her heart and she was in love with that fucker.” The bitter expression on Knox’s face would be sweet if I wasn’t worried about how he’d react about us. “Dad told me she locked herself in her room and cried for days.”
I think of her wearing that asshole’s shirt and I’m fucking glad I tore it. Threw it in the trash when I got home too. Fuck the shirt, and the guy too.
“And then there was her boyfriend she had last year. Randy.” Knox makes a face.
“What was wrong with that dude?” Oh, I am as casual as I can be, slouched in the seat, propping my feet up on the dash even.
“Put your feet down,” Knox chastises, and I do as he says because I’d never allow that shit in the Challenger either. “He was the complete opposite of Travis. Quiet. Kind of nerdy. Really smart. He talked down to Blair. I witnessed it myself when I was home over winter break. Guy was a massive, pretentious prick.”
“Why did they break up?”
“I don’t know the exact reason, but she was the one who ended it that time around. I gave her a high five when she told me and that was that.”
I want more info, but I can’t ask Knox without alerting him. He’ll wonder why I want all the scoop on his sister’s previous boyfriends and I won’t have a reason why. More like, I can’t tell him the reason why.
I want to know every little thing about her. Even about the guys she’s been with before me. Despite the jealousy that courses through me at the thought of her being with some other dude, I want all the details like the sadistic fuck I am.
“Are you really going to work out with my sister?” Knox asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“Yeah. If she’s interested.” I shrug, playing it off. “You know me. Any time I can get back into the gym, I’m going for it.”
“She has zero stamina,” Knox informs me. “She always gives up kind of fast. A bit of a wimp if you ask me.”
Zero stamina, huh?
I bet I can have her going all fucking night long.
I finally give in and send her a text at nine o’clock that night. Knox is long gone, off to see his precious bookstore tutor girl, and I’m all alone. With thoughts of an orgasmic Blair and my dick urging me to reach out to her.
Me: Whatcha doing?
Bumblebee: Nothing. What are YOU doing?
I smile at the all-caps you, and I don’t even understand why.
Me: Want to come over?
I wait for her response, which takes longer than I like. I probably shouldn’t have led with that, but fuck it.
I’m dying to see her.
Bumblebee: Where’s Knox?
Me: Not here.
Bumblebee: What do you want to do?
I bark out a laugh.
Me: What do you think?
Bumblebee: I refuse to be the girl you only hook up with in secret.
My stomach cramps. Not like we can come out and make whatever we’re doing public, and she knows this.
Me: Maybe you shouldn’t come over then.
My phone starts ringing. That familiar tone indicating it’s a FaceTime call.
From…
Bumblebee.
I answer her call and her pretty face appears in seconds.
Her pretty, irritated face.
“I don’t expect us to come right out with this,” she says as her greeting.
“Hello to you too.”
She rolls her eyes. “And I don’t even know what we’re doing.”
“Do we need to define it?”
“I just don’t want you to think of me as a casual hookup. Like…someone you could toss away like a piece of trash or whatever.” She bites her lip, seemingly embarrassed she just admitted that.
“I would never think of you like that.” I fucking hate that she worries about it. “You just…have to be patient with me.”
She watches me with those big green eyes and my gaze drops for a moment, noting that she’s wearing what looks like a black tank. “Patient with you.”
I nod. “I’ve never been in a relationship before.”
“Never?”
“Ever.”
“Really?”
“Don’t act so shocked.” I chuckle.
“I can’t help it. I am shocked. You’re what…twenty-two?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’ve never been in a relationship. Not even in high school?”
“Especially not in high school.” Wasn’t like I was banging a bunch of girls back then, but I wasn’t about to let myself be tied down either. I was a lot angrier back then too. Pissed off at the world and not capable of caring about anyone else but myself.
When you witness your parents’ toxic relationship and eventual crumbling marriage, that leaves a lasting impression, especially at the age I was when it all played out. Made me wary of relationships my entire life. I never allowed myself to get close to a girl. Woman.
Until Blair.
She’s so damn wholesome—well, outwardly at least. I’m thinking she’s got a few kinks tucked away in that devious part of her brain. But when it comes down to it, she’s a good person. She comes from a great family. People who actually love each other and take care of each other.
My dad only takes care of me now out of a sense of guilt for all the previous shit he’s doled out on me. Mom still apologizes to me out of nowhere, seemingly for no reason, but I get what’s happening.
She’s trying to unburden herself of all of that old guilt.
This is why I’m not interested in being in a relationship. I’ve set up all of these personal rules with myself that I can never break. I’ve been playing by them for a long ass time.
Then Blair comes along and she’s got me thinking I should break every single one of those rules.
“Wow.” She stares off into the distance, her gaze finally shifting to me. “I’ve been in a few.”
I know, is what I want to say, but I don’t. “You’ve got more experience than me.”
“Only in relationships. Not with the…other stuff.”
My curiosity is piqued. “What other stuff?”
“You know. The sex stuff.”
“Blair.”
“Cam,” she returns, her cheeks the faintest shade of pink.
“You were doing all right a couple of nights ago.”
“That was nothing.” Her cheeks are brighter, and she waves a hand, dismissing me. “On my part at least. That was all you.”
“You’re the one who kissed me all over my face,” I remind her, my voice soft.
That had been a sweet moment. And sexy too. No one has ever taken the time to do that to me before and I liked it.
A lot.
“That was probably childish.” She ducks her head, her blonde hair falling across her face. It’s damp again, much like it was a few nights ago, and I know she must’ve already taken a shower. Meaning her skin is extra soft and fragrant.
“Not childish,” I reassure her. “Not with the thoughts running through my head when you did it.”
“You liked it?” She lifts her head, her gaze finding mine once more.
“I like just about everything you do.”
Her smile is small. Adorable. “You keep saying stuff like that and make me swoon when I should be annoyed at you for treating me like a casual hookup.”
“You’re not a casual hookup.” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them and I realize in that moment that I mean them.
Blair is so far from casual to me.
I don’t know what we’re doing, and we’ve already established I don’t like the words serious or relationship, but I do know one thing.
I’m not ready to let her go. I want more.
Her demeanor shifts, her shoulders relaxing, and it’s like my words just eased all of the tension out of her. Tension that I caused, which makes me feel like a jerk.
“I like you too,” she admits.
“I know I don’t have any relationship experience, but I think we’re beyond that stage,” I tease her.
“You’re right. We are.” She laughs.
“Are you coming over?”
She sobers right up. “Are you sure it’s…safe?”
“Knox isn’t here,” I remind her.
“When is he coming home?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where’s he at?”
“With a girl.”
“Who?”
Am I supposed to tell? I know she buddied up with Joanna and her roommate Natalie at the game, but I don’t know how much I should reveal.
“Is he with Joanna?”
Relief floods me at not having to say her name first. “Yeah.”
“Oh, I love that. She’s so nice.”
“She is.” I hesitate. “Your brother is into her.”
“I can tell.”
Frustration ripples through me. “Blair.”
I say her name a little too fiercely because now she’s frowning.
“What?”
“Get your pretty ass over here. Now.”
“So bossy,” she murmurs, and I’m pretty sure she’s said that to me before.
“Please?”
She laughs, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Fine. Give me a few.”
“Don’t worry about changing into a different outfit or whatever,” I tell her. “Just—come as you are. I want to see you.”
“Will do.” Blair salutes me. “See you soon.”
It won’t be soon enough, I think after we end the call.
I’ve got it so bad for her.
Really hope I don’t fuck everything up.
