CAM DROPS the condoms on top of my nightstand and crawls onto the mattress, my gaze falling to his erect cock, quietly marveling at its size. He is probably the biggest guy I’ve ever been with and Travis was no slouch. He just didn’t know what the hell he was doing. We were so young, so inept.
And Randy? He was flat out selfish in bed.
Not that I need to think about my exes during a moment like this, but it sort of can’t be helped. The other two I’ve been with were random hookups. One over the summer when I was feeling lonely and ended up just feeling used.
Sex makes things so complicated most of the time. And it’s never as great as I hoped. At least, until I started messing around with Cam.
Now it’s all I can think about. Everything he does to me, everything he says, even when he just looks at me…sends me into this pre-orgasmic, blissful state. When he demanded I touch myself earlier, I knew I would. It had been hot, stroking myself while he watched, his gaze tracking my every movement. I felt powerful in that moment. Like I could do anything and he’d approve.
The feminist in me should rise up and boldly state that I don’t need this man’s approval, but it’s so much more than that. Even when he’s telling me what to do, I feel…powerful. Like a woman whose man is completely enthralled with her.
That’s heady stuff, knowing Camden Fields, campus legend and quarterback of the football team, is in my bed. Currently on top of me, his championship-winning hands running up and down the outside of my thighs, making me shiver. I reach out for him, cupping his beautiful face between my hands, staring into his eyes. His touch slows, coming to a complete stop and resting on my hips, and I drift my thumb across his cheek, smiling at him.
“This is going to be so good,” I whisper.
“I’ll do my best,” he says, full of sudden modesty, but I know the truth.
He will do whatever it takes to ensure I have my orgasm before he has his. He is the furthest thing from selfish, and I know, without a doubt, that it’ll be better than good. Most likely earth-shattering, if I’m being real right now, not that I want to say that out loud to him.
No need to freak him out.
Cam dips his head, his mouth finding mine, delivering a sweet, tongue-filled kiss that is slow and delicious. He takes his time with me, his hands wandering, mapping my skin. I release his face and slide my hands down his back, running my fingers over his muscles, enjoying the way they flex beneath my fingertips. His body is absolute perfection. Strong and capable and all mine to touch and explore.
But our slow, savoring moment turns into hurried, frantic touching, and I’m suddenly too eager to feel him move inside me to want to linger much longer. Instead, I’m reaching for him, curling my fingers around his cock, bringing him where I want him, dragging just the head against my wet center. He nudges my clit and I moan, the sound swallowed by his greedy mouth, until he eventually breaks the kiss, slapping my hand away from him while he leans over and grabs one of those condom packets, tearing the wrapper open.
I rise up on my elbows to watch him roll the condom on, my lips parted as I take in his thick shaft. The vein that runs down the side of it. The flared head that was dribbling with pre-cum. I lift my gaze to find he’s already watching me, his fingers still wrapped around the base of his shaft. He gives himself a stroke and something tugs deep at my core, wishing I would’ve asked him to touch himself in front of me.
Next time, I think as he repositions himself, coming down over me, his face in mine. He kisses me and I keep my eyes open, running my hand over the side of his head, my fingers sinking into his soft hair. Everything about this man is beautiful.
I’m starting to realize his heart is beautiful too.
His cock probes, seeking entry, and I lift my hips, eager for the same. He guides himself inside my body, filling me with just the tip at first, pausing and hanging his head. Breathing deep. Like he needs to regain some semblance of control.
Like the greedy girl I am, I tilt my hips, sending him deeper, and he groans. His eyes are tightly closed and there’s a vein throbbing in his forehead. The man looks like he’s going to lose it at any moment.
“You feel so fucking good, B,” he whispers, his voice harsh.
“You’re barely inside me,” I protest, wiggling beneath him.
He clamps his hand on my hip, keeping me in place. “Stop moving. You’re going to make me come too fast.”
I make him feel like he’s going to lose control and that knowledge is powerful too. I savor the sensation of his fingers pressing into my skin, pinning me in place, and I wait breathlessly for him to start moving again.
With a deep, even breath, he pushes his way inside me, inch by delicious inch, until I’m full to the very hilt. We go still the moment we’re fully connected, his breathing matching mine. I’m staring at his face, smiling when he opens his eyes, his arm curved around the top of my head, his fingers in my hair. We don’t say a word to each other, but he dips his head, his mouth finding mine in another one of those slow, sweet kisses. Communicating to me without words that he cares.
That this moment means something.
Oh God.
He starts to move, slowly at first, that delicious drag of his cock pulling almost all of the way out of my body before he pushes back in, making me moan with his every thrust. I run my hands down his sides, curving them around the hard muscles of his ass, pushing there. Wanting him as deep as I can get him.
Soon enough, we lose all patience, our bodies moving in tandem, our pace increasing. Until we’re both straining, his hand slipping between us, his fingers toying with my clit, sending shivers up and down my spine. Our skin is sweaty, slapping against each other, and he presses his forehead against mine, swallowing hard before he begins to thrust with earnest. It’s a steady, unrelenting pace that sends me closer and closer to the edge, my orgasm hovering just on the horizon…
And then I’m reaching for it, just…right…there…
The shivers roll over me in waves, my mind going blank, my body one hundred percent focused on the pleasure sweeping through me and nothing else. The waves take me under and I cling to him, shaking, crying out when he thrusts extra deep, my name on his lips as he goes still, just before his own orgasm takes over.
I hold him close, soothing him as he shudders and shakes above me, my hands running up and down his back. I’ve never felt this connected to another human being ever, and when he kisses me, I can tell.
He feels it too. The connection.
It’s undeniable.
I wake up to soft lips on my forehead and a whispered goodbye, my eyes popping open, vision needing to readjust in the darkness to find Cam leaning over me, fully dressed.
Pushing my hair away from my face, I ask him, “Where are you going?”
“I have a game today.” His smile is rueful. “Gotta go, B. Get some real sleep for at least a couple of hours.”
“No. Stay with me.” I sit up, reaching for him, and he comes to me, sweeping me into a hug, my bare torso pressing against his T-shirt. He’s warm and firm and I wish he was still naked with me, but I understand. He needs rest.
And we haven’t been doing any real resting since he came over last night.
“Can’t.” He leans in and gives me a kiss. “But come to the game later, okay? We can meet up after.”
“We can?” I sound hopeful. Way too hopeful, really. Like some sort of dumb fangirl or worse…a groupie.
“Definitely. Come to Logan’s. We’ll be there after the game. Hopefully celebrating.” He smiles, kisses me one more time and then he’s gone.
I fall back asleep the moment he’s gone, not waking up until I hear a knock on my door before one of my roommates barges into my room. I crack open one eye to see it’s Rita, standing by my bed with her hands on her hips, studying me.
“Are you naked, Blair?”
I slide farther under the covers, praying nothing was on display while I was sleeping. Rita doesn’t need to see my bare ass. “Go away.”
“Did you have a guy over last night? Oh my God, you DID. Cheyenne!” Rita is screaming, so I tuck my comforter around my head to block the sound. “Get in here! We need to question Blair.”
“Please don’t question me,” I croak from beneath the covers, hoping they’ll leave me alone.
But no such luck. Within seconds, Cheyenne is in my bedroom too, and I peek over my covers to see her completely dressed and ready for her day, munching on an everything bagel slathered with cream cheese.
“Blair.” Rita tries to tug on my comforter, but my grip is too firm. “Talk to us.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I say from beneath the mound of covers.
“There so is. You’re naked under there. And I swear I could smell men’s cologne lingering in the air when I first woke up. You had a fine ass man in this house and you didn’t bother to tell us!” Rita sounds pissed. Excited but mad.
Yanking the covers down so only my head is visible, I contemplate my roommates, who are both watching me with curiosity lighting their eyes. They want all the scoop and normally I would spill every damn detail, but I don’t know…
Cam might not want me to. He hasn’t said anything about keeping us a complete secret, and he knows that would trigger me, but I don’t feel right blasting our—whatever it is we’re calling it—to my roommates. Not yet at least.
Though I suppose they do have some right to know who was in their apartment last night.
“Rita, leave her alone. Maybe she’s trying to keep it quiet for now. Doesn’t want to jinx anything.” The knowing look on Cheyenne’s face tells me she has her suspicions and they’re probably correct.
“Jinx what? The fact that she’s having sex with some random?” Rita yells.
“He’s not random,” I say. “I know him.”
“How well?” Cheyenne asks.
“If it’s one of your brother’s teammates, I’m going to explode with jealousy,” Rita says.
“Boom.” My voice is quiet and I can’t help but start giggling.
Rita frowns. Cheyenne eventually gets it and starts to laugh too, which only adds to Rita’s confusion.
“Looks like you just exploded, Rita,” Cheyenne says.
“Oh shit!” Rita throws her arms up in the air. “You have to tell us, Blair. It’s not fair, keeping such a juicy secret to yourself.”
“It’s not that juicy,” I start to protest, but they’re not having it.
“Nope. No way. You’re spilling your guts!” Rita jumps on my bed, reaching out so she can tickle me. I dodge her hands, laughing harder, and when she touches my bare skin, I let out a scream.
“You do not want to put your hands on me,” I warn her. “I’m naked!”
“Oh, you whore.” She flops backward onto my mattress, her tone light. I know she doesn’t mean anything by calling me that. Her head is at the foot of the bed and her feet are practically in my face and I scoot away from them, sighing when Cheyenne plops onto the edge of my mattress too.
Looks like they’re going nowhere soon. I’m going to have to explain myself. Somewhat.
“Just give us a couple of details and we’ll leave you alone,” Rita says.
I sit up, propped against the pillows, my comforter wrapped all around me. Cam’s hoodie is still lying on the floor nearby in a heap and I wish I could pull it on. “He came over last night. We’ve been sort of seeing each other when we can lately.”
“Define lately,” Rita says.
“The last couple of weeks.”
“And what’s his name?”
I press my lips together. It feels so…final, if I say his name out loud. There’s no turning back once it’s out there. My roommates will know, and they might make a scene the next time they run into him, which I absolutely do not want. Us being together—if that’s even the right word—and becoming public knowledge is overwhelming. This is just so weird and awkward and truly unchartered territory.
And I haven’t even thought about what we will do once Knox finds out. He might lose it. He might be really pissed, and what happens then? Are we done? Will Cam back away out of respect for my brother? What about me and my feelings?
It’s too much to even think about.
“I’m not ready to reveal that information yet,” I say, keeping my voice even. “I’ll tell you when he’s cool with it.”
“Why wouldn’t he be cool with it?” Rita sounds suspicious, and I don’t blame her.
“I just don’t want to put him on blast, without consulting him first. I’m trying to be considerate of his feelings,” I explain.
Rita’s mouth opens, ready to protest when Cheyenne cuts her off.
“Leave her alone, Rita. She’ll tell us when she’s ready.”
With a sigh, Rita leaps to her feet, studying the two of us, though her gaze comes back to me, extra shrewd. “You better come clean as soon as possible, Blair. I’m dying over here. I need to take a shower.”
With that, she strides out of my room and holes up in her bathroom, the crank of the shower turning on obvious less than a minute later. Cheyenne is still sitting on the edge of my bed and she finally stands, a knowing smile on her face.
“If I asked if his initials were CF, would I be correct?” she asks.
I shrug, trying to play it off, but I feel the way my cheeks heat. I’m sure they’re bright pink.
“That’s what I thought.” She taps her index finger against her lips. “Your secret is safe with me.”
I watch her leave, softly closing the door behind her, and I sink under the covers, pulling them over my head.
I hope I can trust her to keep my secret. If this gets out now?
There might be hell to pay. And I’m not referring to my brother either.
I’m talking about Cam.
