I CHASED AFTER HER.
I don’t do that.
Ever.
Yet, the moment she left the table, I was possessed with an unfamiliar urge to follow her. I excused myself from Daphne—fine we hooked up my freshman year. And my sophomore year. Okay, fuck it, we also hooked up last year, but I’m not interested in her. Not at all—and went after Joanna.
And now, here I am, in the women’s bathroom at Logan’s, staring into her eyes in the mirror, my arms braced around her. Keeping her from leaving.
It’s an excuse. I just want to be close to her. Smell her fragrant hair. Feel her body heat seeping into mine. I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but that little incident earlier between me and Daphne that had Jo Jo fuming and eventually running away?
Telling.
“Can you move please?” She sounds downright hostile.
I slowly shake my head, my gaze never straying from hers. “Not yet.”
She’s shaking. I can feel the faint tremble wracking her body.
Is it because of me?
“You shouldn’t have followed me.” She drops her head like she’s speaking to the sink. “We can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what?” I tilt my head toward hers, nuzzling her hair, breathing in her fresh, floral scent. I could get high off her smell, swear to fucking God. She’s definitely become that piece of chocolate cake I can’t stop thinking about, and all I want to do is devour it.
Devour her.
A shuddery breath leaves her and she angles her face toward mine, her gaze lifting, meeting mine…
The door swings open and I spring away from her, taking about five steps back in a matter of seconds. Four women stream into the bathroom, laughing and talking loudly, going completely silent when they see me standing in front of them.
All of them go bug-eyed, one brave enough to squeak, “Knox Maguire?”
“See ya.” I wave at them and bolt out of the bathroom as fast as possible, which is pretty fucking fast because y’all have seen me on the field.
I’m hella quick.
I’m back at the booth and settled in when I notice Cam is sitting across from me once more.
“Where did you go?” he asks.
“Had to piss.” I jerk my thumb toward the bathrooms. “Where’s Blair?”
“With her new friend. The girl that was hanging out with Derek.” Cam glances over to where Natalie and Blair are sitting at a separate table all alone. “I don’t know her.”
“Her name is Natalie. She’s Joanna’s roommate.”
“Uh huh.” Cam nods, his eyes twinkling. Like he knows all of my secrets, which thank God, he doesn’t. “How do you know bookstore Joanna again?”
“She’s my tutor, remember,” I mutter, not wanting to say it too loudly. There are too many people at this table who could be listening. I want to keep this shit private.
I make idle conversation with everyone at the table, sipping on a fresh mug of beer, my gaze tracking Joanna’s every movement when she emerges from the bathroom minutes later. Her hair is tucked behind her ears and flows down her back, and I remember how it felt earlier when I sneakily tested the strands. Silky soft.
She joins my sister and her friend at the other table, the three of them with their heads bent close as they talk. They’re sitting right in my line of vision, so it’s easy to watch them gossip and laugh. I wish I knew what they were talking about.
Wish I could hear her voice whisper in my ear.
Feel her hand on my thigh, burning through the thick fabric of my joggers. Slowly but surely, her fingers would creep higher. Higher—
Derek slaps the table, making me jump and glare.
“What the fuck was that for?”
“I’ve been trying to say something to you, but you’re not paying attention.” Derek sits right next to me in the booth, and I have no choice but to move aside to give him room. “You better not be staring at Nat.”
I scoff. “I’m not. You pretty much laid your claim on her back on the field right after the game.”
Derek grins. “I sure as hell did, huh? I think I’m headed back to her place tonight.”
He rubs his hands together greedily, the son of a bitch.
I ignore the flare of jealousy that rises within me. Not that I’m jealous he’s hooking up with Natalie. She’s not the one I want.
That’s Joanna.
It’s more that he can so freely go to her house and hook up with Natalie without any repercussions. She lives with Joanna. He’ll get to see where she lives, and spend time in her environment. Check out their apartment.
That’s what I envy.
“Lucky you,” Cam says wryly.
“Like you can’t bag any of the women swarming this place?” Derek glances around the crowded bar. “You can have your pick of ‘em. You and Maguire. Oh wait.” He grins. “Maguire is celibate. All the women are hands-off.”
“Don’t remind me.” I down the rest of my beer, feeling restless. Moody. Derek moves to refill it but Cam stops him.
“He’s had enough to drink.”
“I have not,” I protest. “I definitely need more.”
“It’s making you down in the dumps,” Cam points out. He turns to Derek. “He needs a break.”
“Okay.” Derek backs off the pitcher of beer and I scowl at both of them, annoyed that they’re playing like they’re my mom or some such shit.
We sit like this for at least twenty minutes. Derek and Cam chatting. Me glowering. The girls at the other table glancing over at us every once in a while. The only reason I know this is because I stare at their table the entire time. My excuse is Blair. I’m watching over my sister and I see the dirty looks she shoots my way.
Tough shit. I’m not even looking at her. I can’t keep my eyes off of Joanna.
The way she smiles at her friends, bending close to confide in them. The sound of her laughter. She absently twirls a dark strand of hair around her finger, her teeth sinking into her lower lip when someone else is talking, seemingly lost in thought.
Until her gaze drifts and lands on me. She always seems surprised to catch me staring, but she never looks away quickly. No, she holds my stare, looking right back at me for a few long, burning seconds before she finally returns her attention to her friends.
She probably thinks I’m a stalker. I’m acting like one and it’s obnoxious as shit.
Again, I don’t really care. I’m just waiting for some asshole to approach them and try to flirt with Joanna.
I won’t let it happen.
Taking a deep breath, I rub the back of my neck, annoyed with my own thoughts. I sound like a caveman. All territorial and shit. What the hell is wrong with me?
“I think she gets the hint,” Cam says when Derek finally leaves our table and heads for the bathroom.
I frown at him. “Who are you talking about?”
“Your sister. You can’t stop glaring at her.”
“Oh. Right.” I nod, playing it off. “I don’t want any schmuck to approach her.”
“With the way you’re staring like you’ll cut off someone’s balls if they even look at her, I don’t think you have to worry about it,” Cam says wryly.
I lean back in the booth, a sigh escaping me. “I’m overprotective.”
“I’ll say. She can handle herself, you know. She’s pretty smart.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I just sat next to her for at least a half hour and talked to her.”
“You two spoke?”
“Of course, I talked to her. I’m not going to just sit there and glare like a statue. That’s more your style.” I know he’s trying to tease me and lighten the mood, but it doesn’t work.
I don’t even want Cam talking to my little sister, and I trust that motherfucker more than any other guy on our team.
Cam’s smile fades when I don’t respond. “Come on, Maguire. Lighten up. What’s your deal anyway? And don’t say this has anything to do with Blair. You don’t get this twisted up over her.”
A sigh leaves me and I scrub my hand across my face, wishing I could confess everything.
But I made the bet with Cam too. Even though he said kissing doesn’t count, he might change his mind and view my encounter with Joanna as breaking my celibacy vow and I’ll owe them money. And while losing the money doesn’t matter that much to me, losing in general does. I don’t like to lose.
Ever.
“Let’s get out of here,” I tell Cam, rising to my feet. I lift my arms above my head, stretching out my cramped frame from having to sit in that shitty booth all night, and when my gaze shoots in Joanna’s direction, I find she’s already watching me.
I smirk at her and she looks away.
Ha. Caught her checking me out.
“Let’s go.” Cam appears at my side, and instead of walking straight out of the bar, I stop at the table where my sister sits, pointing at her like a jackass.
“Don’t leave with anyone but these two.” I point at Natalie and Joanna.
Blair rolls her eyes. “Sure Dad.”
Natalie giggles. Joanna keeps her head bent.
“See you around, Blair,” Cam drawls.
My sister actually blushes. “Good night, Camden.”
I slap my best friend in the chest. “Stay away from her.”
“You can’t tell me what to do.” He slaps me in the chest in return, making all three women laugh.
“Come on, Knox. Leave him alone,” Blair says, taking Cam’s side.
No surprise. She’ll do anything to go against me. She’s always been contrary like that.
“We’ll make sure she gets home safely,” Joanna reassures, her eyes glowing when they meet mine.
“Thank you,” I tell her, hoping she can sense how sincere I am.
Feels like no one is on my side tonight, except possibly…
Joanna.
The moment we’re in Cam’s truck and headed back to our place, he lays into me with the questions.
“What’s going on with you and Joanna?”
“Nothing.” I lean back in my seat and close my eyes.
“Liar. I know you were trying to play it off like you were watching out for Blair, but I eventually realized you weren’t staring at her. You were staring at the pretty brunette. Joanna, right?”
I crack open my eyes when he says the word pretty. “Stay away from her.”
“Again, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m a grown-ass man and you’re warning me off of grown ass women. If we want to hook up—”
“You try and hook up with her and I’ll have your nuts in a sling,” I threaten.
Cam just grins, the sadistic bastard. “Which her are you referring to? Blair or Joanna?”
Joanna. Not that I can admit that.
“It doesn’t matter,” I mutter.
“It kind of does. I’m curious. Do you have a thing for the tutor?” Cam hesitates, turning onto the main drag that leads to campus and our apartment complex. “Did you hook up with her?”
A few days ago, is what I want to say, but I don’t.
It’s quiet in the car. Tense as shit. No way can I tell him what really happened.
“She’s my tutor.” My voice is a harsh whisper. “That’s it.”
“Why didn’t you want to talk about that earlier in the bar?” Cam turns right into the vast parking lot. “Why keep that a secret?”
“I don’t want anyone else knowing I have a tutor. I feel like a dumbass.”
Not too far from the truth. Just close enough to be believable.
“You’re not a dumbass, Knox. No one thinks you are.”
“I want to keep this private.”
“All right, all right. I won’t say a word. You know you can trust me.” He pulls into his assigned parking spot and shifts the truck into park before shutting off the engine. “How’s that going anyway? The tutoring?”
Fucking fantastic. A few sessions in and I know what she sounds like when she moans while I kiss her. I’m learning a lot.
“Fine.” I shrug. “I hate English.”
“Is she helping you?”
“Yeah. She’s really smart, and she’s taught me a few tricks to help with my reading. You know, with the dyslexia and all, it’s not always easy.”
It’s embarrassing, having to admit that. Even after knowing for all of these years that I have this issue, I don’t like talking about it. Not even to my best friend.
“That’s great, man. I’m glad she’s helping out. And hey.” I lift my gaze to his. “You can trust me to keep this quiet. I don’t want to blow your cover. If you want to keep the tutoring thing to yourself, I can respect that.”
“Thanks.” I nod as I reach for the door handle. “I appreciate it.”
“Of course. And any time you need me to watch over Blair, I’ve got you. I was just giving you shit about her.”
“I know.”
“She’s got a good head on her shoulders, though. She’s not going to fall for just any jackass football player.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I need to trust her more.” I nod, knowing he’s speaking the truth.
Also knowing I won’t necessarily do it. It’s hard, letting my sister make her own decisions, especially when it comes to guys. I know what they’re like.
Me. and I’m the worst.
I can’t help that I feel so overprotective of my little sister. I know the assholes that are on our team, who I hang out with. They don’t give a damn about her feelings—just like I don’t give a damn about anyone but myself.
The guys on my team? They just want to get into a girl’s panties. They’re all looking for a hookup and that’s it.
Just like I used to. But I don’t want that anymore. All I want now is…
Joanna.
