NATALIE NEVER CAME HOME. I have no idea where she is, but she sent me a curt text message a few hours ago, letting me know she was out for the evening.
Okay, then. Guess she’s still mad at me, though I’m mostly over it. I’m not one to hold a grudge for long, but I’m sure Natalie views that as a character flaw, especially when it comes to Bryan and the way he treated me.
Considering I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening alone, I had plenty of time to think. And Nat is right—Bryan did treat me badly sometimes. I always blew it off, excusing his behavior like a ‘good little’ girlfriend should.
All that got me was a lot of alone time living the single life, while he was off having fun with God knows who.
So when Knox texted me saying he missed me, that kind of blew my mind.
And made me giddy.
Here I am now, about to knock on his front door, when it swings open before I get a chance. He’s standing there shirtless, wearing a pair of gray sweats and bare feet. Oh, and he’s got a hat on backwards.
What the hell? He’s like my every Knox-fueled sex dream come to life.
I blink at him, thinking of the videos and memes I’ve seen in the past dedicated to men in gray sweats. I always thought they were kind of funny, but there truly is nothing like seeing a man with six-pack abs and a giant dick wearing those lust-inducing sweats and nothing else.
“Come here.” He grabs my hand and yanks me into his apartment, slamming the door behind me before he shoves me against the door, pinning me there, the heat of his chest seeping into my sweatshirt. “You took forever.”
Before I can argue with him, he’s kissing me, stealing my breath and possibly every single one of my brain cells. By the time he pulls away, I’m panting, my hands molded to the wonder that is his chest, one leg swung around the back of his thighs. I wish I was taller, so I could feel that majestic erection right at the spot I want it the most.
“You look cute.” He pulls away from me, and I slump against the door, not feeling very cute at all. My hair dried naturally, so it’s a little out of control. I have no makeup on—actually had to scrub off the zit cream dotting my face that I apply religiously every night before I headed over.
My outfit isn’t one to impress, though I am braless, which I’m guessing he’ll appreciate when he makes the discovery.
Hopefully he will.
“I look terrible,” I respond and his expression turns cross.
“Always putting yourself down.” He shakes his head, grabbing hold of my hand and leading me to his bedroom. “Kind of over it, Sutton.”
“You caught me at a bad time, Maguire,” I chastise him as we enter his bedroom, though I don’t mean a word of it.
I’m so glad he texted me. I’m so glad I’m here. With him.
He drags me over to his dresser so that we’re standing in front of the mirror that hangs over it. He looms behind me, tall and broad and mouthwateringly handsome, with his gaze locked on mine in the mirror.
“Tell me what you see.”
I’m frowning. “Me and you?”
“No, tell me what you see when you look at yourself.” He wraps his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. “And don’t list all of your faults. Say something positive.”
My gaze is caught on his face, the kindness I see there. The sincerity. No one has ever asked me to do something like this before, and it feels…weird.
“Don’t look at me.” He smiles, reaching up to angle my face more toward the mirror. “Look at you, Jo Jo. Tell me all the good things you see.”
My self-confidence isn’t the best, meaning my brain is scrambling as I study myself. “Um…I like my eyebrows.”
He chuckles. “Why?”
“They’re a good shape. I don’t have to pluck them much. My mom’s are pretty much the same.”
“So you’ve got your mama’s eyebrows.” He lifts his head, resting his jaw against my hair. “Tell me what else.”
“I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging—”
“It’s not bragging. It’s like, what do you girls call it? Self-affirmations.”
I frown. “How do you even know this?”
“I have two sisters, Jo Jo. They keep me up to date.”
Thank God for sisters.
“I guess I like my hair, though it looks a little wild right now,” I admit softly.
“I like it wild.” He smooths it away from my cheek, dropping a kiss there.
My knees want to buckle, the gesture was so sweet.
“My lips are okay.”
“Your lips are sexy as fuck.”
They part, all the words I could’ve said disappearing at his comment, and the heat in his gaze. I can feel him behind me, pressing closer, the length of his erection nudged against my butt.
“My boobs could be bigger.”
“I think they’re perfect.” He slips his hands beneath the hem of my sweatshirt, sliding them up, over my rib cage, until he encounters nothing but bare flesh. “No bra?”
“I don’t wear one to bed.”
“Lucky me.” He cups my breasts, his thumbs playing with my nipples, and a shuddery breath escapes me, my gaze locking on the movement of his hands beneath my shirt. “Say something else, baby. Tell me what else you like about yourself.”
A throb starts low in my belly at him calling me baby. “I think I have decent fashion sense.”
He’s smiling. “What are your thoughts about wearing my T-shirt to bed and nothing else?”
Oh Jesus. The man is trying to kill me. “I um, wouldn’t be opposed to it.”
Knox presses his face into my hair, breathing deep. “You always smell good.”
“I do?” My voice is weak, every part of my body on high alert. The way he touches me. The things he says.
It feels too good to be true.
“Yeah. Fucking turns me on, how delicious you smell.”
“You smell good too,” I admit.
“This isn’t about me, Jo. This is about you. And how beautiful you are, even though you can’t see it.” He removes his right hand from beneath my shirt, curling his fingers around my chin, holding my face, his thumb stroking my jaw. As if he can’t stop caressing me. “Look at you.”
His voice is reverent, his heated gaze skimming over my face, like he can’t get enough. I can hardly breathe at the way he studies me. How it makes me feel. As if I’m just as beautiful as he says I am.
It’s not a word I’ve heard much in my life. Oh, my mom and dad would tell me I looked beautiful, but they have to. Friends tell me I look pretty, but usually when I’m dressed up for something. Same with Bryan. He didn’t praise me much.
“Do you see what I see? A beautiful, sexy woman, who I can’t stop thinking about. And it’s not just your outer beauty that gets me. You’re beautiful inside too.” The hand beneath my shirt slides to the spot between my breasts, directly over my heart, making it turn over.
“You really think so?” I sound so doubtful. I’m not surprised by the way he scowls at me. “We barely know each other.”
“We know each other enough that I’ve learned you’re generous and smart. Thoughtful. Patient, because you have to be to tolerate my ass. You’re also pretty funny.”
“I am?”
“You like busting my balls, Sutton.” I turn my head so I can look in his eyes and he slips his fingers beneath my chin, tipping my face up, so he can deliver a soft kiss to my lips. “But I don’t mind.”
I kiss him again, because I can. And because I can’t get enough of him and his sweet words and gestures. Like, what is this world I’m currently living in, with Knox Maguire totally into me?
He eventually pulls away, his fingers directing me to face forward and look in the mirror once more. My eyes are dilated, my lips wet from his kisses. “Tell me you see what I see in you.”
“It’s—hard.” I swallow past the lump that’s formed in my throat, wishing I could make him understand what his belief in me feels like. It’s heady and overwhelming and truly mind-blowing. I was with Bryan for years, and he never gave me a boost of confidence like this.
“You know what else is hard?” He thrusts against me, pressing his cock against my ass.
“Um, no. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
The look he sends me has me erupting in giggles, and I’m not a giggler. Not until this sweet, sexy man waltzed into my life—well, the bookstore. “Busting my balls like usual.”
“You make it so easy.” A soft gasp leaves me when he curves his hand around my left breast, his fingers lightly pulling at my nipple. An answering pull throbs in between my thighs, and I lean more fully into him, loving how his big body supports me.
He nuzzles my hair away from my neck, his soft lips making me shiver, murmuring how warm I am. How delicious I smell. I close my eyes, lost to the sensation of his mouth on my neck, both of his hands cupping my breasts now, his thumbs rubbing slow circles around my nipples, making everything inside me loose and languid.
“You don’t think we’re moving too—fast?” I ask at one point, my eyes cracking open to find him staring at our reflection. “Are you watching us?”
“It’s hot as hell, Jo. Watch.” He lifts my sweatshirt, slowly exposing me, his hands covering my breasts. “You’re so tiny.”
I know I have small tits, but I don’t think that’s what he’s referring to. “I should take the sweatshirt off.”
He whips it over my head, tossing it aside and now we’re both shirtless. I reach for the hat on his head, yanking it off. “Why are you wearing this?”
“You want the truth?”
Oh no.
“I know chicks dig it when we wear our baseball hat backwards.”
I groan, settling the hat on my head. “That’s so cheesy.”
“It worked right? The sweats. The hat.”
“What, is this your seduction outfit?”
“It’s my, let’s seduce Joanna outfit. I think you like it.” He turns me around, so I’m facing him, the hat still sitting on my head. It’s so big it practically covers my eyes and he shoves it back, smiling down at me. “You’re cute in my hat.”
I take it off, setting it on the dresser beside me. “And you’re ridiculous, trying to seduce me with your sweats and hat combo.”
“You love it.” He lifts me up, making me squeal as he settles my butt on top of the dresser. I spread my legs when he steps closer, his mouth finding mine and kissing me senseless, his hands sliding around my waist and settling on my lower back.
Until I’m panting against his lips, my head spinning, heat spreading over my skin like wildfire. His hands curve over my ass, hauling me against his erection and the friction of my sweats has me crying out.
“You’re already close, aren’t you?” The satisfied hum in his voice has me flushed all over.
I nod, frantically kissing him, disappointed when he pulls away.
His mouth is at my ear when he whispers, “I want to be inside you.”
Oh God. I want that too. So much.
“I know you might think I’m moving too fast, but I want you so fucking bad.” His hand is in the front of my sweats, his fingers brushing my panties, and a jolt ripples through me when he cups me there, his fingers a sweet pressure that ratchets up the need building within me. “Tell me you want me too.”
“I do.” I kiss him, overwhelmed with the way he’s touching me, the words he’s saying. He’s got me basically sitting on his cock, my butt perched on the very edge of the dresser. One wrong move and I’m falling to the ground.
“Thank fuck,” he mutters, his mouth fierce when it lands on mine, his tongue thrusting in time with his hips. He’ll probably kill me when we finally have sex. I’ll either be split in half because of his dick size or the orgasm will be so strong, I’ll stroke out.
I don’t know what would be the better way to die. Probably the orgasm.
“Oh shit,” I cry out when yep, I’m about to fall out of his embrace and onto the floor, but I should’ve known he’d grab hold of me, his hands firm on my ass, keeping me from slipping out of his grip. He hauls me into his arms as if I weigh nothing and carries me toward his bed, settling me on top of it as he settles himself on top of me.
His hands are braced on the pillow my head is on, his gaze hot as he lets it wander over my face. He doesn’t say a word and I can’t either. I’m too choked up with anticipation, watching in dazed wonder as he slowly slides down my body, his mouth everywhere, mapping my skin, making me shiver.
Making me sweat.
He kisses along the waistband of my sweats before he’s yanking them off, tossing them onto the floor. Next are my panties, which he begins to tug off with his freaking teeth.
Oh. My. God.
“You have another tattoo.” He sounds so surprised, I almost want to laugh. I’m lying on my back with my legs in the air, trying to help him make it easier to dispose of my panties when he makes his discovery.
“I do.” I close my eyes when those warm, rough fingers trace the words on the back of my right thigh, just under my ass cheek.
“Why here?”
“Why not?” I throw back at him, opening my eyes to find him leaning in closer, squinting as he tries to read it.
He chuckles. “’Fuck the patriarchy’?”
“Another Taylor Swift lyric that hits home.” My eyes blaze into his. “Please don’t make fun.”
“As if I would make fun of a woman who’s got a tattoo that says fuck the patriarchy. I’m not an idiot.” He lightly presses his fingers onto the tattoo. “It looks fresh.”
“I got it a few months ago. Right after…”
My breakup.
“All Too Well” spoke to my soul and I listened to it on repeat for months, crying almost every single time. I was so bitter over my relationship ending with Bryan. It felt so liberating, to revel in the anger of the lyrics. To mark myself with the words from one of Taylor’s sadder songs.
I was hopeful and pissed, all at once.
“Right after you broke it off with your boyfriend?” His voice is quiet, and I think he’s terribly brave to ask such a question about my ex when we’re basically naked and about to have actual sex for the first time.
But I appreciate his bravery. I can’t avoid the subject. My relationship with Bryan won’t disappear, but I want Knox to know that it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Bryan hasn’t mattered to me in a long time.
“Yeah.” I drop my legs and sit up, reaching for him. It’s my turn to touch his face, my fingers tracing the firm line of his jaw. His chin. He’s so attractive. The most attractive man I’ve ever seen and definitely ever been with. Should I tell him that? Though there’s so much more to Knox than just his looks. “I don’t want you thinking I’m hung up on him.”
Knox sits up straighter, my hand falling away from his face, his expression stoic. “I don’t think you’re hung up on him.”
“Good, because I’m not.”
“Yeah.” He smiles. “I can tell you kind of like me.”
“I do.” I touch him again, scooting closer, my fingers drifting across his shoulder, and all of that warm, hard muscle. “I may have got a tattoo out of anger, but it really had nothing to do with him, and was more about me empowering myself.”
“So fuck the patriarchy?” His lips curve up in the smallest smile and I lean in, pressing my lips to his in a closed-mouth kiss.
“Yes,” I whisper against his perfect mouth. “Fuck it.”
“I’d rather fuck you.” The next kiss is hungry. Insistent. I respond to it, crawling on top of him until he’s falling onto his back and I’m sprawled across him, straddling his hips, grinding down on his erection. His hands are on my ass, pressing me into him, our harsh breathing the only sounds in the room, my pounding heart roaring in my ears.
I suddenly remember his vow and pull away from him, a flash of annoyance on his face when he cracks open his eyes. “Why’d you stop?”
Swallowing hard, I take a moment to catch my breath. “Your celibacy vow.”
He stares at me and I get lost in those gorgeous green eyes. “I don’t care about it. Besides, I’m on fire right now at practice.”
I frown. “You are?”
“Yeah. It’s like I messed around with a hot woman who let me come in her mouth, and next thing you know, I can catch every ball Cam throws my way.” He grins, looking very smug.
While I can’t help but be the tiniest bit embarrassed. “Knox.”
“Shh. Just let me enjoy my moment.” He kisses me, making me forget all my worries.
All I can do is feel.
He runs his mouth all over my body and I try to do the same, but he always pushes me away, more than eager to lavish all of his attention on me. Eventually, I give in and let him, throwing my arms out wide on the mattress, lying there like some sort of naked sacrifice. And oh how he worships me—with his firm hands and hot lips and tongue. Until I’m a squirming, explosive mess, unable to focus on anything else but the intense burning building inside me.
“Knox.” I sound like I’m in agony because I am. He’s the only one who can satisfy the ache inside me.
The only one.
He kisses me, his tongue doing a thorough sweep of my mouth before he murmurs, “Hold on.”
I watch in a daze as he reaches for his nightstand, fumbling around as he tries to open the drawer. Within seconds, he’s got a condom clutched between his fingers and he’s kneeling in front of me, tearing open the wrapper.
“Is that extra-large?” I ask as he starts to roll the condom on. I’m teasing yet I’m also serious.
Pausing, he glances up, his hot gaze making my stomach flutter with excitement. “Yeah. It is.”
The fluttering turns into nervousness and I swallow hard.
“Look.” He fists his cock, stroking himself, and even with the condom on, it’s undeniably hot. “I have an idea to make this…easier on you.”
“What do you mean?” I ask warily.
“I want you on top. That way, you can control everything. Like—how deep I can go inside you.”
That’s all he says, and it’s as if I can’t speak either. I realize, after a few quiet seconds pass, that he’s dead serious. He’s afraid of hurting me with that damn large dick of his.
Being on top isn’t my favorite position. With he-who-shall-not-be-named, I would always feel awkward doing it that way, with my tits in his face and him grabbing at my butt or my thighs while they’re extra jiggly. The positioning almost always had me coming too fast. A tiny orgasm that would leave me unsatisfied and it would always happen before him. Then I would get…
Oh God, I used to get bored and would think, Come on. Get this over with already.
That’s awful.
Knox finally speaks up.
“If you don’t want to do it that way—’
I interrupt him. “I’ll get on top.”
“Yeah?” His brows shoot up, his grin one of pure pleasure.
He loves the idea of me being on top, which is just…
Freaking adorable.
“Yeah, but no judgment.”
His grin fades. “I won’t judge you, Jo Jo. You should know this by now.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I roll my eyes and laugh.
So does he.
We readjust ourselves, so we’re lying on the bed on our sides, face to face, kissing and touching each other. His fingers are between my legs, stroking lightly, teasing me. Making me shiver.
“You’re so fucking wet.” He kisses my neck, his thumb pressing against my clit. “I turn you on, don’t I?”
“Oh my God, of course you do. As you can tell.” Is he looking for praise?
Maybe he gets off on it.
Next thing I know I’m back on top of him, his cock nudging my ass, my hands braced on his chest. He’s lying there with an expectant look on his face, breathing hard, and I can feel him reach for his cock, his fingers circling around the base, guiding himself closer to me.
I lift my hips and shift downward, the head just nudging my entrance, and a sigh leaves me, my inner walls pulsating, eager to be filled by him.
“Take it slow. Make sure you’re ready,” he urges as I slide down on top of him, taking him in inch by inch. “You can stop if you need more time to get used to me.”
His shaky voice tells me he absolutely does not want me to stop.
“I’m not stopping,” I whisper as I slowly rise up, until I’m basically sitting on top of him, his cock completely embedded inside me.
I can’t move, I feel so full, stretched to the limit. He’s in so deep, it feels like he’s poking my stomach.
“Damn, look at you. You’re doing so good, taking all of me.” His gaze is zeroed in on the spot where our bodies are connected. “Lift up a little, baby. I wanna see it.”
I do as he asks, sliding up, exposing a few inches of his cock, and he groans, reaching out to touch the spot, his fingers brushing against my clit.
“Ride me,” he encourages, and I do.
It’s awkward at first. I’m trying to establish a rhythm, and he’s just so freaking big. Leaning forward, I run my hands up his chest, until my hands are gripping his shoulders, my face in his as I slowly begin to work my hips.
“Oh yeah, just like that.” He growls. “Does that feel good?”
“Yes,” I bite out as I lift my hips higher, until he’s almost completely out of me before I thrust forward, taking him all the way back in. That slow and steady drag lasts such a long time, stoking the flame inside me, the two of us moaning every time I take him to the hilt.
I’m already going to come. I can feel it. And then the next thing I know, I am coming, Knox nudging something deep inside me, shattering me into pieces. He fucks me through the orgasm, his arm clamped around my waist, holding me still while my pussy pulses around his cock.
“Gonna give you another one of those,” he warns before he flips me over on my back and plunges deep inside me once more.
I’m so wet and loose, it doesn’t hurt. No, it feels amazing as he basically fucks me into the mattress, grunting with every thrust. I watch, fascinated by the drips of sweat sliding down his temples, the way his chest glistens, all of those muscles standing out in definition. His hips are frantic as they bump against mine, and I spread my legs wider, bending them at the knees, tilting my ass up, wanting him to get as deep as he can.
That position has me arching my back, my mouth hanging open as I struggle to breathe. It’s too much. Too much—
“I’m coming, babe.” He reaches between us, his fingers pinching my clit, his cock nudging that particular spot again and I see stars.
And then I swear to God…
I black out.
