I EASILY MAKE it through my first day of celibacy, so I’m feeling confident. Even cocky. By the time practice is finished, it’s spread through the team what I’m doing. The coaching staff finds out too, our special teams’ coach pulling me aside while on the sidelines and letting me know he thinks it’s a great idea and wishes more of my teammates would follow suit.
“Chasing tail is fun, and it’s easy when you’re young and literally on top of your game,” he explains. “But damn, pussy is a giant distraction. You’re better off staying focused on the game.”
I nod, wholeheartedly agreeing with him and feeling smug about my decision. It’s a great idea. The perfect idea.
I’m so fucking arrogant about it, I even admit my decision to my dad when we’re FaceTiming later that night. His call came in at the perfect moment, just when I was ready to shove aside my statistics homework to scroll on my phone.
“You’re doing what?” Dad practically shouts when I tell him I’ve given up sex, which of course gains Mom’s attention.
“Everything okay with Knox?” she calls from the background.
“Do not tell her what I told you,” I mutter, my voice fierce.
“I won’t, I won’t.” He turns away from the screen. “He’s fine, babe! Everything’s good.”
“I want to talk to him when you’re done!” she shouts.
I briefly close my eyes, sort of hating this. I love my parents with everything I’ve got. I’m close to them and I feel lucky they’ve been such a positive force in my life. They’ve always urged me to go after what I want, never shitting on my dreams. I can’t say my friends have been so lucky.
“Son, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Dad says once he’s tucked away in his office. I recognize the walls and the giant window that overlooks our backyard. “Giving up sex during the entire football season?”
“Who needs it? Not me.” If I keep saying it, maybe I’ll believe it.
“You’ve always had a…healthy appetite.” He winces. Clearly, he’s uncomfortable talking about this.
Well, so am I.
“I like women. But I’ve grown tired of going through one after the other, hardly getting to know them in the process. Besides, constantly hooking up is such a distraction when I need to focus. My class schedule this semester is heavy. I’m taking that statistics course, and that one English class I’ve been putting off since freshman year. Plus, the entire team is looking at us to lead them. Me and Cam,” I explain.
Dad loves that I was made a team co-captain. He thinks my leadership skills will take me far. I can only hope he’s right.
“You’ve got a lot on your plate. I get it. You’re feeling overwhelmed, and it looks like the only thing you can cut is…”
“Women,” I finish for him.
He sighs, shaking his head. “You are a different breed from me, I can tell you that.”
“The difference is, you fell in love with Mom when you guys were really young and that was it. You two were set for life.”
I don’t have that. Not even close. And I’m not mad about it either. I don’t want to settle down. Hell, I’ve been having the time of my life the last three years, getting as much pussy as I want from an endless list of willing women.
But there’s more to life than having sex. What about a conversation? And not just about football either. Yes, I live and breathe it, but maybe there’s a woman out there who’s worth getting to know. Not that I’m looking for her at this moment.
“Best life I could’ve ever had too.” His gaze grows distant, his smile on the dreamy side. Like he’s thinking about Mom in ways I don’t really want to know.
“What you guys have is great, but I don’t want that.” I pause. “Not yet at least.”
“Can I give you some advice?”
If I were to tell him I don’t want to hear it, he’d tell me anyway. Not that I would ever say that. My father gives great advice.
“Go for it.”
“There’s something about having a woman by your side from the very beginning of your football career, whether that be in college, or when you go pro. Hell, someone you’ve dated since high school is good too, though I know you don’t have that option. When you find a good woman, who’s known you before you found success, someone who believes in you and isn’t dazzled by all the bullshit, you can’t go wrong. If you’re in a solid relationship like that, she knows the real you.”
“Dad…”
“No, let me finish. Your mom and I have known each other since we were practically kids. We grew up together, and yeah, we had some growing pains, but I know her love for me isn’t because of what I was or how much money I made. She knew me when I was a broke-ass joke who smoked too much weed.” He chuckles and I do too.
“I don’t think that’s going to happen for me,” I admit. “And who’s to say I’ll go onto the NFL?”
“You’re going,” he says firmly, in that tone that says he doesn’t want any arguments. “I know you are. I have faith.”
We end the call, and I know he was trying to pump me up and make me feel good but…
His words just freak me out. Put more pressure on me that I don’t need. What if I don’t make it into the NFL? What then?
His disappointment—and mine too—will be monumental.
“What do you think of that one?” Derek asks me, his pointy elbow nudging my ribs. “She’s a fine piece.”
I don’t bother looking. We’re sitting at a table in front of the student center grabbing a quick lunch. The place is packed, swarming with students doing the same thing we are and I don’t think I’ve seen the campus this full of people ever.
And there are so many new girls. Like, women everywhere. It’s still warm outside, though the weather could turn on a dime, and they’re all clad in skimpy tops and shorts that show off their long legs. They flip their hair behind their shoulders when they laugh, their smiles big. What the hell was I thinking, going celibate now? When I’m a freaking senior on the football team and can get as many women as I want?
I’m an asshole. An asshole who’s half-tempted to hand Derek a grand and be done with this bet shit. Hell, I can hand over a grand to Cam as well and have a clear conscious. I owe both of those fuckers, since we all made the bet together.
Money-wise, I’m lucky, and I’m aware enough to realize it. My father had a successful NFL career and played for nine seasons. He made a lot of money and obtained solid endorsements that lasted at least five years after he retired. Our parents set aside money in a trust for each of us, and I came into mine recently when I turned twenty-one. I haven’t spent much of it, but when do I have any time to go out and spend money?
Never, that’s when.
So I’ve got plenty to hand over to my friends to get them off my back because, holy shit, I’m already over Derek trying to tempt me on a constant basis. We only made this bet less than twenty-four hours ago.
“She’s not his type,” Cam finally pipes up, his gaze on his food and not the woman Derek is trying to point out to us.
“You didn’t even look at her.” Derek’s voice rings with accusation.
“I just know.” Cam shrugs.
“Who’s his type then?”
“Yeah.” I glance over at Cam. “Who exactly is my type?”
“The next girl who walks past our table alone,” Cam says, sending us a lopsided smile.
This guy has no clue who’s going to walk by. He’s just saying this shit to bug me.
“What if she’s a dog?” I wince the moment the words leave my mouth. I’m the one who sounds like a dog.
Derek laughs. “You have the best luck out of all of us. She’s going to be a total babe, I can guarantee it.”
“See?” Cam’s expression is pleased. The guy loves it when he’s right.
And he’s not even officially right yet.
Quietly, we wait, and all I can think is we must be really bored. A bunch of guys walk by. Then a cluster of girls. Overly loud, overly dressed freshmen who are trying to impress with their coordinated outfits.
Total waste of time. They’ll be in sweats soon enough, tired of putting so much effort into it. Overwhelmed with school, and with life in general.
Finally. I spot the shadow of a lone female approaching our table. She’s walking briskly, her head down, fingers clutched tight around the straps of her backpack. Her long dark brown hair streams behind her, floating on the warm breeze. She’s in cropped jeans and a black T-shirt, a cream cardigan tossed over it, and all I can think is damn, she must be hot. In the literal sense.
Then I glance up and see her face, immediately recognizing her. It’s the girl from the bookstore.
I don’t even know her name.
Figures she’d be the one to walk by. It’s like I can’t get away from her.
“Bro, why you gotta diss our captain like that?” Derek shakes his head, dropping his wilted French fries back into the paper container they came in. “That girl is nothing like his usual type.”
“She’s cute,” Cam says.
I send my best friend a quick look, surprised he would describe her as cute.
Not that she’s hideous. Not even close. I like her dark hair. Her dark eyes. She has freckles that dot her nose. I noticed them yesterday when I was at the bookstore and she was ringing me up. I caught myself staring, and thank God she didn’t notice because I felt like a creeper.
I have to agree with my best friend. She is cute. And she’s got a great ass, which I got to feel up close and personal when she kept bouncing on my jock at Logan’s.
The moment lasted all of five seconds, but still. My body reacted immediately. And that hasn’t been happening as much lately. There are a lot of girls who make their way onto my lap, who “accidentally” brush their fingers against my junk. Some are bold enough to just grab it, like my dick belongs to them.
This almost always happens in a bar, and the last few years, I always responded positively. Lately though, I gently push them away with a faint smile and a slight shake of my head. Their disappointment is obvious for about ten seconds before they’re off to find a new guy to conquer.
And this is why I’m not interested in sex lately. I’m tired of being simply another name on someone’s list, and I’m completely over adding names to my list.
I just want to…
Be.
“She’s wearing a fucking sweater when it’s ninety degrees outside.” Derek takes a giant bite of his burger yet keeps talking. “What do you think she’s hiding?”
“I can’t take it when you talk with your mouth open, D. It’s gross,” Cam says as I crane my neck, trying to catch sight of her again.
But she’s already long gone.
“This celibacy idea is stupid,” I mutter as I turn to face forward once more, my appetite disintegrating.
“I’ll say.” Derek swallows down his food. “Why did you want to do it again?”
“So he could stay focused on our team and his classes,” Cam answers for me, his gaze pointed when it lands on me. “Right?”
“Right.” I grab my turkey sandwich and take a bite, knowing I’ll need as much protein as I can get to make it through the day. “Still think my idea was stupid.”
“Totally agree,” Derek says.
Cam’s gaze slides from me to Derek, then back to me again. “I don’t think it’s stupid. It might actually be smart, avoiding women. I have to agree they’re a complete distraction. The constant hooking up is draining. What’s so wrong about being with the same girl for a while?”
I rear back. “What’s going on? You suddenly have a steady girlfriend? Someone we don’t know about?”
I live with the guy. You’d think I’d know if he’d found someone.
“No.” Cam sounds defensive. “Of course not.”
“You ask me, I think you’re both ridiculous. How can messing around with women fuck with your focus that bad? And a steady relationship is the wrong way to go,” Derek explains.
“No one asked you,” Cam tells him.
“I spoke to my dad last night. He actually said starting a serious relationship at this point in my life might be smart. Finding a woman who knows you before you become famous means you can trust her, according to him. She’s not dazzled by your fame or how much money you have. She loves you for who you really are, and not what you have,” I explain.
“See?” Cam nods. “Your dad is a smart guy.”
“That sounds like a bunch of horse shit.” Derek points a fry in my direction. “I love your dad, but that’s some bad advice.”
“He met my mother when he was nineteen,” I tell him.
Derek lets the fry fall, landing on the table with a plop. “Lucky him. Why would he tie himself down at nineteen? Sounds like he wasted all of his best years…”
His voice drifts the longer I scowl at him and Cam shoves at his shoulder.
“Don’t disrespect his mama, jackass.”
“Sorry.” Derek looks around, his eyes lighting up. “Oh damn, look at the tits on that one!”
Cam and I both lift our heads, checking the area out for a girl with an impressive rack. But the only female I spot is…
Oh, holy shit.
“God, you’re a moron.” Cam shakes his head, his face a mask of barely contained rage. “That’s his sister, for Christ’s sake.”
“No way.” Derek turns to me, his voice shaky, eyes wide. “I didn’t recognize her, man. I swear I didn’t!”
“Whatever.” I sit up straighter as Blair approaches, a friendly smile on her face. “Hey sis.”
“Hi, Knox.” Her gaze slides to my best friend, her smile small. “Camden.”
“Blair.” He nods, gathering up his trash in quick, efficient movements and shoving it in the small to-go bag it came in. At the same time, he rises to his feet, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I’ll see you guys later.”
Cam nods once and is gone, lightning fast.
“What’s his problem?” I ask once he’s out of hearing distance.
Blair takes the spot Cam vacated. “Who knows? He always acts like he has a stick up his ass around me.”
“Blair,” I chastise, making Derek chuckle.
He goes silent when I send him a death glare.
“I was hoping you could help me out.” Blair offers her best smile, the familiar one that always appears just before she asks for a favor.
“With what?” I ask warily.
“I need a new laptop. Like, yesterday, and Dad said the only way I could get one today is if you go shopping for one with me.”
I mentally go over today’s schedule. “I can’t leave campus this afternoon. I only have another—”
“Forty-five minutes until your next class. Mom sent me your schedule.”
I hate that everyone in my family keeps tabs on me. Plus, I’m pretty sure she’s lying. Dad would never say she needs me to hold her hand while buying a new laptop. Blair is pretty damn independent. “Yeah, and that’s not enough time to go anywhere.”
“They sell Apple laptops at the campus bookstore,” she sing-songs, her smile growing. “Just come with me there, okay?”
Oh shit. The bookstore.
I wonder if bookstore girl is working this afternoon.
