The breath left my lungs as Chops’ words rang out over the entire room. I looked over at Porter and saw something akin to fear and wrath on his face. And when I dared to stare up at my brother, the look he gave Porter made me want to jump in front of the man and yell at him to run for the hills. How in the world did Chops even know about us?
I didn’t have time to worry about that, though.
I had to save Porter from my brother’s need for blood.
“Is it true?” Brooks asked.
I reached up and grabbed his chin, slowly pulling his gaze to mine. I was the one responsible for all of this. I was the one that didn’t do much to stop Porter’s advances. So, in my opinion, I was the one that needed to take the brunt of my brother’s anger.
“Brooks, take a breath. You look like you’re about to murder someone.”
His eye twitched. “Depending on how you answer my questions, I just might.”
“You lay a finger on anyone in this room and one phone call to your parole officer puts you back behind bars. I’m pretty sure that gun you’re carrying on your hip isn’t registered, or part of your rules you need to follow once out of prison. Don’t make me send you back there to keep you from doing something stupid, because I will.”
His nostrils flared. “You better start talking and quickly. Is what Chops said true?”
“Take a breath first.”
Brooks knocked my hand away. “Answer. My fucking. Question.”
Porter growled. “Touch her like that again and it’ll be you and me, got it?”
Brooks tried to turn around, but I grabbed his hand. I pulled him back toward me before I shot Porter a look that told him to shut the hell up. I knew my brother, and I knew if he got angry enough Porter would surely pay for what had just happened, and I didn’t want to see that go down. I didn’t want to be the one to call the cops and rat out my brother’s entire crew because he couldn’t keep his fucking temper in line.
“You keep your eyes on me, otherwise my phone is in my purse,” I said.
He swallowed hard. “Answer my question. Did you and Porter sleep together?”
I heaved a heavy sigh. “Yes, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I’ve cared about Porter for a very long time now, and I’d do it all over again if I had the chance.”
I stared off with my brother for a very long time, and I saw all of the questions swirling around in his mind. But for some reason, he didn’t ask any of them. Instead, all he did was rip away from me, storm toward the front door, and charge his way through it.
With blood leaking down the back of his leg.
“Brooks!” Cole yelled as he rushed toward the front door. “I still need to stitch you up, man! Get back here!”
I sighed. “Son of a—Brooks!”
As much as I didn’t want to, I needed to go after my brother. I jogged through the front door and leapt down the steps, trying to catch him before he got to his bike. I lunged myself at his arm and he shoved me back, which caused me to fall straight on my ass.
And before I could get up, Porter hovered above me.
“What? You’re so pissed that you’re shoving women to the ground now?” he growled.
Brooks wrapped his hand around Porter’s throat. “You should’ve stayed away. You promised me you’d stay away from her, man.”
I stood to my feet. “He promised what now?”
The guys poured out of the clubhouse behind us as I pried Brooks’ hand away from Porter.
“Answer me. What the fuck is this promise?”
Porter sighed behind me. “Your brother made me promise years and years and years ago that I’d never hook up with you. That I’d keep my hands off you.”
I turned to face my brother. “Is that true? Did you make him promise you that?”
Brooks nodded. “And he didn’t keep it.”
I shrugged. “Because I’m not a little girl anymore, nor am I underaged. I can make my own decisions on who I want to be with, and I chose Porter. Do you hear me? I chose him, not the other way around.”
Brooks clenched his fists at his sides. “Doesn’t matter. He’ll have to pay. I thought you were my brother, Porter. But you’re nothing but a stupid piece of dick trying to get to my sister.”
I slapped Brooks across the face and that seemed to pull him out of his trance. The crack echoed around the space we existed in, and pretty soon his red face was pointed down at me. I fisted his jacket and pulled him close, glaring into his eyes.
And the words I spat at him finally got his attention. “You don’t get to be the protective brother when Porter’s spent more time with me in the last few days than you have in the last fucking decade. You hear me? Family isn’t just a noun, it’s an action. And for the last however many years, all I’ve been is invisible to you. Discarded. Nothing but an afterthought. So, you wanna be the protective big brother? Then, start with making the ‘big brother’ part true.”
He pulled away from my grasp. “I’ve done nothing but protect you my entire life.”
“Yeah, at the expense of our relationship. Having someone from the crew ride by my place every once in a while doesn’t count as being a big brother. The only thing it makes you is two ticks away from a stalker. Where were you when I was in the hospital six years ago?”
He blinked. “You were what?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Where were you six years ago, before you went to prison, and I was in the hospital? I called and left three voice messages. I’d been in a car accident and they had to rush me to the E.R. I stayed in that place, alone, for an entire fucking week. So, where were you, protective big brother?”
He swallowed hard. “You were—what happened? Were you injured?”
I threw my hands into the air. “Of course, I was injured! I almost died, Brooks! And you didn’t even have the balls to come visit me. Hell, I don’t even know if you listened to my voice messages. For all I know, you just deleted them when you saw they were from me! Oh, and my celebratory party for nailing that voice-over job in the Pixar movie two months before you went to prison. Where were you for that? I sent you two invites and texted you about it on four separate occasions. You too busy doing other shit to be a big brother?”
Porter put his hand on my shoulder. “I think he’s got the point.”
I shrugged off his touch. “After all the emptiness and all of the abandonment I’ve endured my entire life, I deserve the ability to say my peace. Got it?”
I peeked over my shoulder and saw Porter nod before I stared back up at Brooks. “You left me to take care of Mom so you could run around with some stupid motorcycle club that’s clearly trying to get you killed. And you didn’t even attend her fucking funeral. Your own mother’s funeral, you asshat. The one I paid for out of pocket because you weren’t around to help. The one I worked three jobs just to pay down the debt because you were MIA and completely off the grid. And now, you want to be angry and play the big brother when you find out your best friend’s screwing around with me? That’s when you finally want to step up? After everything I’ve endured alone because of a brother that doesn’t give two shits about me, and you only hop in when your best friend is involved? You know what that shows me?”
Porter murmured. “Don’t say it, Astrid.”
I closed the distance between my brother and I. “It shows me that you only care when your actual family is involved. Not the family you abandoned in order to fill the void of pain you stuck me with after you left because you’re no better than Dad.”
It felt like the entire world stilled. It felt as if everything had come to such a careening halt that the world itself stopped turning. An angry sickness washed over me, taunting me with all sorts of things I wanted to do.
Slap him again.
Kick him in the shins.
Tell him how much you enjoyed fucking his best friend.
“Well!? You got anything to add!?” I exclaimed.
Brooks sighed. “I was only trying to keep you safe and out of this life.”
I snickered. “A life you willingly brought into our family by pledging yourself to it. That’s rich, Brooks. That’s really rich.”
He shook his head. “You were really in the hospital?”
I threw my hands into the air. “All you’ve done our entire lives is push me away and make me feel like shit. All you’ve done is shown me, time and time again, that I’m not important to you. That I’m nothing but an afterthought. That even in the midst of something as terrible as a car accident that almost killed me, you believe you’ve got better things to do. Well, let me tell you about your best friend, Brooks. Let me tell you how alive he made me feel. How beautiful and cherished he made me feel. How important and seen and heard he made me feel. Let me tell you how wonderful it is to stand at his side and know I’m worth something. Let me tell you how amazing it is to laugh with him and feel so carefree that, for once, I’m not looking to run. I’m not looking to hide. I’m not looking to fill the void with empty sex and useless paychecks. Because that’s what he gave me. That’s what he still gives me. And if you don’t like something that makes me feel so good and so loved and so amazing inside, then you’re nothing but a succubus. And I want nothing to do with you ever again, if that’s the case.”
Angry tears streaked my cheeks. My knees quivered with a want to collapse. I held myself firm, though. I stood strong and held my head high all by myself like I had done for all of my days. Then, something wonderful happened. Something so amazing and so thrilling that the only word I have for it is “perfection.”
Porter stepped up to my side and nodded. “She’s right. She’s right on so many things. She had the guts to say something to you before I did, but it doesn’t make what she’s saying any less true. So, if you really believe that we all treat women with respect, then I suggest you start with your sister. Because she’s been neglected like this for far too long, and I’ve seen enough of my fair share of it just over the past few days.”
And in that moment, I loved that man more than anyone else on this fucking planet.
