Joss
In a state of complete and utter shock, I frown at him. “How the hell would I prove a thing like that?”
He shrugs and the couple are now basking in the afterglow, still not thinking about the evil presence that lurks in their basement.
So realistic.
I glance over at Dane as he thinks quietly. Meanwhile, my heart’s racing like crazy.
“The fact that it’s taking you so long to respond only confirms my point—that there’s no way to prove a thing like that,” I gloat.
“Hang on.”
When he speaks, I pause the movie with a smile ghosting on my lips. It feels like I might’ve just regained the upper hand, so I’m confident.
“What could you possibly have to say now?” I’m smirking right up until my gaze locks with his. It leaves because there’s something about the sudden intensity and focus of his expression that has me shaken.
“You claim you’re in complete control, so… I’d like to put that to the test.”
“How?” I ask, hearing the sound of my own quivering breath.
Dane, on the other hand, is confident, focused.
“We’ll play a game,” he answers. “Let me push your limits, see how much you can take before you ask me to stop.”
I don’t move. Yeah, we’ve flirted here and there, but in all the years we’ve been friends, he’s never been so bold.
My heart damn-near leaps from my chest and, for several seconds, I question whether I misheard. But the longer we remain focused on one another, I’m positive that’s not the case.
“We can’t just—”
“Joss… you know you can trust me.”
The way he says my name has the excuse I was prepared to give locked inside my brain, proving that my mind and body have differing opinions as to how this should play out. His stare moves down to my mouth and I swear I can taste him.
“What’s your goal? What are you hoping to prove?”
His brow arches and he doesn’t make me wait for an answer. “Guess I’m just curious what’ll happen. You said watching those two fuck didn’t make you feel anything. I’m wondering if, maybe… you’ll feel something with me.”
I don’t think he meant for those words to hold a double meaning, but I pick up on it either way.
The laundry list of excuses I’ve made over the years—to myself, to others—it flies through my thoughts at warp-speed now, and as badly as I want to hurl each one of them his way, I don’t. Instead, I’m thinking about that game of Truth-or-Dare we played months ago, thinking about how badly I wanted to kiss him then, while I had an excuse to do so.
And… it feels like that chance is circling back again.
Dane doesn’t blink and I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but…
“Okay.”
This is completely reckless, and I know he feels it, too. He must. I also know there’s more to this experiment than him wanting to test my limits, which should’ve been all the more reason for me to say no.
There’s a fleeting thought that comes at me hard and fast. It’s the reminder that he’s just come home from a date. With another girl. But then that thought is followed by two others. The first being that our history runs deep, and he’ll always be more to me than he is to any other girl. No matter what title she’s given, no matter the role she fills. I’m possessive of my place in his life and won’t be moved easily.
The second thought is a simple one. Two words.
Fuck Shawna.
As far as I’m concerned, she’s a nonfactor and means nothing in the big scheme of things. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, all I can think about is the fact that I’ve just given Dane carte blanche to take things as far as he wants to until I tell him to stop.
His emerald-green eyes are trained on me and I can’t move. I know I agreed to this, but I’m admittedly not sure how two friends who’ve never shared more than a hug go about venturing into these uncharted waters.
But apparently, Dane’s not so confused.
My eyes stay trained on him when he sets the laptop on the nightstand and closes it, plunging us into darkness. I stare as his back settles against my headboard, and the only light that touches us is the silver glow of the moon where it filters in through my window. He pushes the comforter off his lap, and I don’t move a muscle until I’m coaxed by the warm hand that reaches for me, then smooths across my waist. He grips just tight enough to draw me closer, bringing me to straddle him. My knees settle deep into the mattress and, perched on top of his solid body, I feel weightless, safe. His cock’s hard as a brick beneath me, the bulge straining against his shorts, aligning perfectly between my legs.
Ho-ly shit.
The contact draws a deep breath out of me, leaving me to wonder if I’ve ever wanted to give in to someone more than I do in this exact moment. We’re best friends, sometimes more like each other’s family, but… I’m imagining him naked right now, and there’s nothing friendly or familial about it.
“Before we move forward, I only have one rule,” he breathes close to my ear.
“What’s that?’
I feel him exhale against my skin and the sensation has me leaning into him, letting my breasts push against his chest.
“From now until we’re done, no lying,” he warns. “Every word that leaves your mouth has to be true.”
I’m shaking a bit when I nod. “Okay.”
Dane breathes warm air over my mouth, and I swear we’re right back in Louisiana. Right back in his grandfather’s living room playing Truth-or-Dare. Only, this time, we’re not surrounded by spectators waiting to see what will happen next, spectators whose presence would’ve stopped us before things went too far.
Here and now, it’s only us and what little willpower we have that might pull us back before things go too far.
There’s a subtle roughness to his palms that’s got me addicted, wanting to feel them everywhere. They push up from my knees, slowly moving over my thighs where I think he intends to stop, but… he doesn’t. Instead, he reaches back and grabs my ass. Tight, squeezing just enough that I release a sigh inches from his lips.
“I have a confession,” he says with a labored breath.
My breasts heave when I gather air to whisper, “What’s that?”
“I know we’re supposed to respect each other’s boundaries and shit, but… you have the most incredible ass I’ve ever seen in my fucking life,” he rasps.
On cue, he squeezes tighter and at the feel of it, I bite my lip.
“Still don’t feel anything?” he asks in a low, gravelly voice.
Lifting his hips, his erection pushes into me, pressing against my clit. In a completely involuntary motion, I grind into him and wish I could get so, so much closer. Needless to say, I can’t think to answer, which fills my room with dead air. Mostly, I’m wondering how my lonely night with a book, and Dane’s night out with another girl, turned into this—me riding him slow while we both secretly wish all these damn clothes weren’t in the way.
“I don’t… know what to say,” I eventually respond.
“There’s no wrong answer,” he points out with a deep laugh. “Just tell me what you’re thinking.”
Then, the next sensation that overwhelms me is the feel of his lips pressing against my neck, followed by moist heat where he gently sucks the hollow of my throat.
My eyes fall closed, and my hands move from his shoulders to the back of his hair.
“I feel confused,” I admit, which has him chuckling against my skin.
“And?”
After asking, he gently lifts his hips again, wedging his dick deeper between the lips of my sex, taunting me because it’s still not enough.
“And… weak.”
This time, my confession doesn’t draw a response from him. Which could mean that’s the answer he hoped to hear.
I’m so wet for him. Like, soaking-through-my-underwear wet. All from barely having been touched tonight. But the longer he holds me like this, the longer his tongue and lips move over my throbbing pulse, the more possessive I feel. So much that, when a thought of him touching someone else this way enters my head, it makes me furious.
I’m sorting through my feelings, trying to understand why he has so much control over my emotions when his mouth moves up my throat, to my chin, and finally to my lips. It’s just one gentle peck, but I’m not sure what to do. It’s not that I’ve never kissed a guy before, but I’ve never kissed him before.
Although, I’ve imagined it many, many times.
He comes closer and, slowly, his mouth touches mine again. My lips come to life as fear falls away. We’ve been careful for so long—denying ourselves the pleasure of touching one another—that this feels foreign. But when his tongue passes my lips, I welcome him in, gripping his hair in my fingers when I do.
It’s not every day that a girl can end the mystery surrounding what her best friend might taste like. Mine leaves a hint of mint and something sweet in my mouth.
His dick swells more, and I’m not sure how much longer either of us can stand this teasing.
“How about now? What do you feel?” he asks during the brief second that we tear ourselves apart.
I don’t bother with an answer because he already knows—I feel everything.
It’d be so easy to just… lower his shorts a few inches, pull my panties over just enough for him to slip inside me. At the thought of it, I move one hand over the smoothness of his shoulder and down his chest, until I feel the ridges of his abs against my fingertips.
And then… his waistband.
Realizing how desperate I am to touch every inch of him, I feel oddly vulnerable, lacking the control I bragged about before this all began.
“We should take this a step further,” Dane breathes into my ear.
I’m only half-coherent as my face turns into his hair, breathing him in. It’s on the tip of my tongue to answer, ‘You can take whatever the hell you want,’ but I catch myself just short of letting those words slip out.
“You plan to lose your virginity this summer,” he says. “So, I’m thinking… maybe I can get you ready for that.”
The suggestion has my eyes opening slowly, processing what he’s just offered.
“There are things you might want to learn first or… try first,” he adds.
While I think, he slowly moves both hands beneath my shorts and inside the elastic of my panties, gripping my bare ass this time, clouding my judgment.
“Does that sound good to you?”
Honestly, there isn’t much I wouldn’t agree to right now, but I manage not to blurt the first thing that comes to mind.
“Before you answer, I need you to know something,” he adds. “We’ve been friends since we were kids, Joss. You’re not just some girl to me. You do know that, right?”
My heart races, staring at his outlined silhouette through the darkness as I nod.
“I know, but… there are things I haven’t told you, Dane, reasons I hold back.”
His eyes stay trained on me. “What is it?”
My head’s spinning and I feel the moment slipping away, the heat of it dissipating as we wander into more serious conversation. One we probably should’ve had a long time ago, instead of me letting him think I was fighting the pull toward him for other reasons.
It’s hard to think while we’re close like this, so I slide off to the side of him where I can hopefully gather my thoughts more easily. His hand settles on my thigh, though, and the feel of it makes me want to pick up right where we left off, but we can’t.
“This is how things started for my parents,” I begin. “They met as friends their first year of college when they both moved to the States. I think it was that common thread—that notion of not quite feeling at home—that drew them together. They were tight like us, told each other everything, double-dated with whoever they were seeing at the time. But then, their junior year of college, they crossed the line. Mom says they were able to keep things in perspective for a while and were just having fun at first, but then things turned serious. That lasted a while, until they started bickering more and drifting apart.”
Dane’s focused on me, listening as I share details my mother shared with me years ago.
“They eventually broke up and stopped speaking altogether. It didn’t matter that they’d been friends before, didn’t matter that they were once each other’s everything, because once things started going bad, it consumed them.”
Dane squeezes my thigh, drawing my attention to his gaze despite how difficult it is to look at him right now.
“You know they’re not us, though, right?” he asks. “I mean, you know I’d never hurt you or let anything ruin what we have, don’t you?”
I sigh, feeling like he’s missed the point.
“I’m sure they didn’t think that either, Dane, but it happened,” I say.
There’s so much more to the story, but I’m not in the mood to go there right now. I already feel raw just having said that much, which forces me to realize how deep their wounds have cut me. I guess growing up in a home where the love was professed out loud but never shown stuck with me, damaged me.
When Dane’s finger touches my chin and I’m made to look into his eyes, a tear slips down my cheek. I think he takes it for what it is—a sign of how seriously I’m taking this, how important our friendship is to me.
“Joss, you have my word that we’ll never turn into them. Whatever course we take, we won’t end up like that.”
It’s dark, but I can still see his sincerity. And when he kisses me, I feel it.
This is new—impromptu displays of affection.
Is this the door we’ve opened? Who we’ve become—friends who kiss and touch?
He pulls away and I inhale slowly to steady my breaths.
“If you don’t want to do this, I’m cool with that,” he adds, “but my offer stands.”
My body’s still overheating from our make-out session, but I know that has nothing to do with the answer I’m about to give. But first, like with anything else, there have to be rules, boundaries that will hopefully prevent disaster.
“If I say yes, we have to promise each other a few things.”
His brow quirks when he smiles. “Ok, shoot.”
“We have to swear to keep our emotions out of it.”
Right after I speak, there’s this weird twisting in my gut. Like my body’s trying to tell me that I’ve already broken this rule. Hell, maybe he has, too, but it needs to be said anyway. The point of this isn’t to fall for each other, but rather for me to experiment with someone I trust.
And… maybe get some things out of our systems before curiosity burns us alive.
I don’t miss how he seems to sober up a bit more before answering. “Sounds fair, I guess.”
“And you have to promise there won’t be other girls. I don’t mean you can’t go out or anything, just no… physical stuff,” I say shakily, feeling like I have no right whatsoever to make these kinds of demands. Mostly, because I’m not his girlfriend and this is clearly just a friends-with-benefits situation, but these are my terms, what I’m comfortable with if we’re to move forward.
He can absolutely turn them down and I’d understand.
However, he doesn’t even hesitate.
“You have my word.”
I search his eyes and see that he means it. I’ve known him long enough to spot a lie.
“Then… okay,” I say, agreeing to something I never thought I’d agree to, but by it being Dane, it feels different.
It feels right.
He leans in and kisses me again, and it’s soft this time, not meant to lead to anything more. A girl could get used to this feeling, get addicted to it even. And now that we’ve reached an agreement, I imagine this summer will be filled with many more just like it.
