“Are we really going to do this?” Lennon whispers, walking along beside me to Jaci’s office.
Her shoulders are stiff with tension. I itch to reach out and massage her worry away, but I keep my hands firmly at my sides. She’s not mine to touch. I got slapped in the face with that reminder when she told me this morning that she’d been on a date. One set up by her mother, but a date nonetheless. She said she hadn’t planned to tell me, and even in my annoyance, I wondered what had made her change her mind.
But once she told me, I decided we needed to put the truth out there once and for all, at least here. Maybe it would make her think twice before agreeing to a date if the entire staff thinks we’re dating.
“Yes.” I try not to sound as perturbed as I feel. When she screws up her face in annoyance, I know I’ve failed.
“It feels like lying.”
Because technically it is.
“We have to tell her at some point.”
She presses her lips together in a thin line, giving a single small nod. “All right. Fine. Let’s do it.”
I knock on Jaci’s door, and it’s only a moment before she calls for us to come in. I grip Lennon’s hand before we enter, not just to make a point but also because I think she needs it.
And maybe I need it a little too.
Jaci’s brow arches at our clasped hands.
“Hello,” she greets us, standing up from behind her desk. “I guess I can imagine what this visit is about.” She tries to hide her smile, eyeing our joined hands.
Lennon’s grip starts to wiggle in mine, nerves and whatever else. I tighten my hold, reminding her it’s too late to back out now.
“Yes,” I begin, giving her hand another reassuring squeeze, “we wanted to tell you first, since it’s you we have to thank for this.” I give Lennon the most loving look I can muster. It must work because Jaci has hearts in her eyes when I turn back to her. “We’ve been dating since the Chicago trip.” I tug Lennon a little closer to my side, sending up a silent prayer that it doesn’t look like I’m holding her hostage.
“Oh.” Jaci’s eyes light up. “This is wonderful news.”
Lennon’s eyes widen, and I pinch her side to keep her from saying anything ridiculous, but I must not do it soon enough. “Really?”
She sounds so fucking shocked that our boss would be happy for us that I’m mildly offended.
Jaci gives her a funny look. “Of course! I’ve sensed the chemistry between you two from the start. I didn’t send you on that trip thinking this would be the outcome, but I’m also not surprised.”
“Chemistry?” Lennon murmurs under her breath. In the small office there’s no chance that Jaci didn’t hear her.
“There’s more.” I speak up, hoping my voice will carry over Lennon’s. It’s a futile hope, though, since apparently she’s determined to self-sabotage us.
“I’m with child!” She slaps a hand over her mouth dramatically.
Jaci’s brows furrow in confusion. “You’re with . . . oh, you’re pregnant! You’re pregnant?” I have to give a small chuckle at the surprise when she said it the first time and the complete confusion in the next instant.
Lennon nods. “Yep, we’re having a baby.” She gives me a cautious smile, no doubt knowing she’s turned this into a complete disaster. Apparently, Lennon can’t keep her cool under pressure.
“This is great news! Wonderful!” Jaci’s enthusiasm seems to startle Lennon, and she gives me a surprised look when Jaci pulls her into a hug, our hands finally letting go.
See, I try to say with my eyes, I told you everything would be fine.
Jaci releases Lennon to hug me, smacking a kiss on my cheek. “This is great news. I’m so happy for you, Sulli.”
“Sulli,” Lennon mouths behind Jaci, pretending to gag. I give her the finger.
“Does anyone else know yet? Brendan?”
I move back to Lennon’s side, wrapping an arm around her. She stiffens at first, then slowly relaxes against me. I swear she even sniffs my shirt. I give her a funny look, but she ignores it.
“No,” I say, turning my attention back to Jaci. “We wanted you to be the first to know.”
She puts a hand to her heart. “I’m honored. I must say, Jaci is a great name for a girl.” She winks.
“We’ll keep that in mind.” No, we won’t. “Anyway,” I begin, wanting to end this conversation before Lennon says anything else to jeopardize us, “we should get to work.”
“Yes, right, of course.” Jaci gives each of us another hug, which is a bit awkward since I won’t let Lennon go. “Congratulations, again.”
“Thank you, we appreciate it.” Lennon’s smile is tired, a bit forced, and I get the impression that she has more on her mind than just this conversation.
Is she thinking about that guy she went out with? Did she actually like him? Is she regretting that, thanks to the baby, she’s stuck with me?
We leave Jaci’s office, with Lennon almost trying to sprint away from me.
“Not so fast, honeybee.” I tug her hand, pulling her into a darkened corner. She squirms, wanting to get away. With a gentle chuck under her chin, I urge her head up. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
I cannot believe I’m begging this woman to talk to me, but here we are. I don’t like her being in her head, especially if it’s about another man.
“It’s nothing.”
“Then why are you trying to run away from me?”
She sighs heavily, pressing her kissable lips together. Despite my annoyance at her going out with another man, I can’t take my eyes off her mouth. “It’s not you I’m running from. It’s . . .” She looks on the verge of tears. “I freaked out telling our boss,” she hisses softly, panic written plainly on her face. “How the hell do I think I’m going to tell my parents? And why should it even matter?” she goes on. “Why do I care what they think of me when I can never do anything right anyway?”
My whole body relaxes, relieved that this isn’t about the guy. This, I can handle.
I hold her wrist gently in my hand, circling my thumb against her pulse point. Anger on her behalf is slowly building inside me. “What do you mean?”
“Jesus.” She sniffles, wiping beneath her eyes with her other hand. “It’s not like you don’t know how my parents are. I never was good enough in their eyes. Not like my brother. Hunter is their golden child. And this”—she points at her barely showing stomach—“will be another reason for them to say I’m a failure. And I don’t . . .” She clears her throat, fighting to keep her emotions in check. “This wasn’t a part of the plan, but this baby doesn’t make me a failure.”
“No,” I agree, trying to hold back my irritation—not at her, but her family.
“I’ll get over it.” She gives me the side of her face, like she doesn’t want me to see too much in her eyes.
Gripping her chin, I force her head back, refusing to let her hide from me. “There’s nothing you should have to get over. They shouldn’t treat you like that.”
Despite how close I was to her, to her family, I didn’t realize that they treated her poorly. Maybe on some level I realized, but I was so young, blinded by my own beliefs, that I just . . . didn’t notice.
She closes her eyes, swallowing thickly. “I hate to ask you this—”
“Ask me anything.”
I hate to admit it, but anything she’d ever want, I’d go to the ends of the earth to make sure she got.
“Will you hug me? I really need a hug right now.” Her lower lip starts to wobble, and it’s nearly my undoing.
“Yeah.” I clear my throat, trying to rid myself of how choked up I sound. “I can hug you.”
I hold my arms open wide, and she dives into my chest, wrapping her arms firmly around my torso, the side of her face pressed between my pectoral muscles. She fits seamlessly right there, like my body was cut out to be the perfect nesting spot for her.
I close my eyes, wrapping my own arms around her so she feels safe. Protected. Resting my chin on top of her head, I give myself a moment to simply exist in this space and time with Lennon. It’s selfish, really, as I let my imagination run wild, to consider what it might be like if she were mine and I could hold her like this anytime I wanted.
After a minute, maybe longer, I say, “We should go tell everyone else.”
“Yeah.” She lets me go, stepping away and gathering herself. I can see her putting bricks back up, erecting those walls that exist between us. “Let’s do it.”
