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Princess at Heart: Part 1 – Chapter 11


‘Where do you disappear to?’

‘Excuse me?’

Jamie watched Haru, fascinated by how much strength he was able to cover up by simply slipping on a shirt. They were cooling down in the locker room after training on the field, although Jamie was quite sure Haru had only called it training to trick him into some frivolous racing games.

‘Your princess and her friends. Sometimes at lunch and during free periods I cannot find you anywhere.’ Haru glanced over from where he was pulling his tie into position, his heavily lashed brown eyes as comforting as hot chocolate. ‘It’s like you vanish into thin air.’

His gaze was soft, his tone sweet, and, despite what Jamie had seen he was capable of, he didn’t seem like a Partizan at all.

‘We’ve all been through a lot. We like to keep to ourselves,’ Jamie replied, avoiding any mention of Lottie’s hidden study.

‘Do you talk about Leviathan?’

Jamie’s head caught in his T-shirt, leaving him stuck in the fabric until Haru’s hands carefully pulled it into position. It made him feel like a child, and angry heat bloomed in his cheeks at the intrusive question and the patronizing gesture, yet he didn’t leave.

‘Why are you worrying about something that doesn’t concern you?’ he asked instead, the words coming out harshly in his embarrassment. ‘And why have you come to Rosewood?’

‘I worry about anything that causes you or your master trouble, Jamie-kun,’ Haru said, calling him by the pet name he’d used in Japan. ‘Your well-being is important too.’

When Haru smiled up at him from tying his shoes, Jamie’s boundaries instantly dissolved. It felt like Haru could melt away any misgivings he ever had like butter in the sun. It worked every time and soon he found himself following Haru through the corridors, away from the gym, to Dame Bolter’s office, alone with him again.

When they had learned that Haru was taking a sabbatical at Rosewood, Jamie had been filled with confusion. Partizans were allowed them once they reached the age of twenty, and subsequently every five years after, but all the Partizans he knew of turned them down. It simply wasn’t the done thing. He kept thinking of Haru’s master, Sayuri. Perhaps they weren’t close; perhaps Haru was planning to quit being a Partizan altogether. It was as if he treated his position as nothing more than a job that he was free to leave at any moment. Jamie couldn’t imagine being so casual about his own vocation to protect Ellie. It was Haru’s apathy that fascinated him so much. But was it apathy or something else – something more dangerous?

Jamie blocked out the thought. He hated that he could never trust anyone. He hated that he was so cold to this person who only seemed to want to be friends. Why couldn’t he just let himself believe in someone else for once? Why did he always have to make it so hard?

‘Just a second; I have something for you,’ Haru called behind him.

The Conch House mother’s office was filled with trophies and cultural artefacts from her travels during her time as an Olympic athlete, all of them glittering proudly on the mahogany shelving behind her desk. The room was also immaculate, with virtually no sign of human disturbance except for a small wastepaper basket in the corner that was filled almost exclusively with orange peels.

From the doorway Jamie looked at his companion, who was now searching through the house mother’s top desk drawer. ‘Should you be rifling through that?’ he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Haru chuckled. ‘Don’t worry – this is my drawer. I do a lot of errands for her in this office so she let me have this for my things.’

Curiosity getting the better of him, Jamie followed into the office, leaning over the desk to take a peek into Haru’s drawer of ‘things’.

The inside was a mess, entirely at odds with Dame Bolter’s perfectly ordered room, and it was no wonder he couldn’t seem to find what he was looking for. Jamie was about to take a step back when his attention snagged on something that seemed out of place, a tattered old locked box.

‘What’s that? he asked, pointing to it.

Haru pulled it out gently, as if it were a sacred item made of gold and not a simple wooden box with a withered lock. ‘This?’

Jamie nodded.

‘Would you believe me if I said it’s where I keep my secret diary?’ he replied, grinning as he gazed at it.

Jamie regarded Haru. If Jamie tilted his head, the oak beams and shadows from the vases of sunflowers on the shelves behind Haru gave the strange illusion that he had sprouted ram’s horns, his smile turning demonic.

‘Fine, don’t tell me,’ Jamie huffed, taking his place back at the door and refusing to bite what was obviously bait. ‘I’m not interested anyway.’

‘I am not lying,’ Haru protested, leaning down to return the box to the drawer. ‘I will show you what’s inside when we are closer.’ He seemed to ponder for a second and then changed his response. ‘When you’ve earned it.’

Jamie frowned, trying to figure out what was going on behind Haru’s easy-going smile as he continued to rummage through the drawer. He was so lost in his thoughts that he jumped when Haru shot up, presenting him with a brightly coloured packet that was covered in Japanese text. ‘Here it is.’

Haru was so pleased that it took Jamie a moment to register what he was holding.

‘Are those … cat treats?’

This only seemed to amuse Haru, who gave Jamie a mischievous look. ‘They’re for the little beast you brought back with you from Tokyo,’ he said, tossing it at Jamie who caught it one-handed. ‘The cats at Takeshin always loved that brand.’

Jamie hardly had time to wonder if it was safe for Haru to know about Vampy when Haru read his mind.

‘Don’t worry – I will not tell anyone about your little beast,’ Haru assured him, before stepping round him and blocking the exit. ‘Where will you go when you are old enough to take your sabbatical?’

The question came flying out of the blue, and Jamie was sure he saw Haru’s smile curl a little at the edges, like the sly grin of a fox. Waving him off, Jamie moved to duck underneath him, but Haru didn’t budge.

‘I doubt I’ll ever take one and, quite frankly, I’m surprised you took one yourself. How does Sayuri feel about you leaving her?’ Jamie asked confidently. ‘And for you to pick Rosewood … Why would you want to spend your sabbatical here, another school?’

Haru didn’t even blink. ‘It’s part of the job that we are allowed to take a sabbatical. Or are you suggesting you don’t respect this rule?’

‘No,’ said Jamie, ‘I respect the rules, particularly the one where I make sure my master is secure at all times.’

‘And does your master feel secure knowing you feel that way?’

Haru’s words conjured up an electric cityscape in Jamie’s mind, with static in the air that hinted at a storm. No longer was Jamie in Dame Bolter’s orange-peel-scented room but on a rooftop in Tokyo, his nostrils filled with the smoke from celebratory fireworks. The Goat Man had asked him something similar that night, cornering him with questions they both knew the answer to. Not long after, he had found out that the Goat Man was no demon or mysterious stranger – he was Claude Wolfson.

‘It’s not the same for me.’ Jamie stopped short, surprised that the words had left his mouth at all, and, like a reward for his honesty, Haru finally moved.

Shuffling past his fellow Partizan, Jamie swiftly headed towards the building’s reception room where only a set of glass double doors separated them from the rest of the school.

‘You’re still a Partizan,’ Haru called after him. ‘You’re entitled to time –’

‘I owe the Maravish family for taking me in.’ Jamie stopped and turned to face Haru. He felt his shoulders sag, not realizing how tense he’d been. ‘And that’s why I can’t relax until I find out what Leviathan are planning and I can stop the man responsible for all this. I need to find where he’s hiding.’

The shadowy figure of the goat-masked man morphed in Jamie’s mind, transforming into the painting of Claude from the palace hallway, inky-black hair and leering eyes the elegant and flamboyant green of a peacock feather. Those eyes haunted his dreams. He had to make sure they never turned themselves on Lottie.

‘Is that how they make you feel, Jamie-kun? That you owe them?’

Jamie scowled, snapping out of his thoughts with a jolt, his fingers uncurling as if Claude were escaping his clasp. He looked at Haru leaning casually against the wall and he remembered himself, turning hot at how rude he’d just been to a superior Partizan. He was at once distracted by his shoes, noticing that the laces had come undone on one foot.

Haru noticed too.

‘Maybe I am misunderstanding,’ Haru continued, kneeling down to tie them before Jamie could stop him. ‘But it seems to me that if you’re trying to stop the man who has caused you all this trouble and you haven’t made any progress so far, perhaps you are looking in the wrong places …’

Haru held his hand out for Jamie to help him up, regarding him with an inquisitive look in his eye.

Jamie paused before reaching out to take it, mulling over Haru’s words. They only reiterated a thought he’d already had: that he was missing something. That if he was going to keep Lottie and Ellie safe and figure out Claude’s plan, he had to prepare for the possibility he’d find out something unpleasant. The writing in his wardrobe appeared in his head, and the question Lottie had been so worried about swam into his mind.

Why is Jamie your Partizan?

Looking in the wrong places, he thought. Like the words were a mantra or an important clue.

‘To answer your other question,’ said Haru, ‘I wanted to be close to you.’

‘What?’

‘The reason I came to Rosewood.’ Haru’s fingers locked around Jamie’s, their palms pressed together, skin smooth and rough in all the right places. ‘I wanted to get closer to you.’

In all Jamie’s life he had never had anyone say anything so honest to him. He was shocked that someone would expose themselves so willingly. He became hyper aware of the touch of Haru’s fingers on his.

At Rosewood he’d learned how his appearance and attitude affected other students, who giggled and blushed when he walked past. It was only since being away that he’d admitted to himself that he might be capable of having these feelings for other people, for people like Lottie, but Partizans were not supposed to get distracted. Not in a million years would he have considered that Haru might be added to that list of distractions.

Jamie pulled away in one swift movement. ‘Haru, I’m not sure I –’

‘Looks like my time is up.’ Haru’s eyes were looking out through the glass doors into the grounds.

On the other side, blue from the shadows of the final seconds of sunlight, Lottie was sitting on a bench, waiting for Jamie. She gave him a wave when his eyes landed on her, round cheeks turning into ripe apples as she gave him a beaming smile, the kind that made his chest hurt and his stomach twist in a way he’d given in to.

‘I’ve stolen you away for well over an hour now, Jamie. You should go back to your princess.’ He gave Jamie a soft push towards the door, ignoring his protests, and despite himself Jamie thought of the box again, part of him wanting to open it. ‘We’ll train again next week.’

As usual, Haru left him feeling confused. But Lottie, and most likely his princess, were waiting for him. The crown always came first.


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