A thick blanket of snow had settled when Ellie and Lottie arrived back at school after Christmas. It felt disconnected from the Rosewood they had left. Then, their world had been hazy with fog and rain. Now, the air was crisp and peaceful.
Slowly, her mind clearing with the cool air, Lottie began to realize something was wrong, something Ellie wasn’t telling her.
They were accompanied by Samuel Petrov, who would be staying on campus. The school had assured them security would continue to be maintained at the highest degree since their Partizan and Haru had been ‘called away on a confidential expedition by the Partizan Council’ – or so Haru’s note had alleged.
A routine quickly formed, and during classes Samuel would wait for Lottie outside the door, then escort her to the next class and so on. The blanket of protection quickly began to feel suffocating, but it wasn’t until their third day back, when they were in the library studying, that Lottie started to become suspicious.
The instructions from the crown were simple enough.
Do not tell anyone what has become of Jamie.
Cease all research into Leviathan’s plan.
Do not go after Jamie.
Lottie had no intention of following these rules, but she hadn’t expected to find herself being watched so closely.
‘He never showed up for movie night,’ Raphael moaned for the hundredth time, an untouched mug of tea turning cold in front of him. ‘He didn’t even say goodbye; it doesn’t make sense I tell you …’
Ellie didn’t so much as flinch, her eyes cast down over her coursework, the perfect tableau of a high-school girl studying for her exams. It was creepy.
‘Not to mention that he completely abandoned Vampy. It’s just so unlike him,’ Raphael continued, yet still Ellie didn’t look up.
Lottie’s heart wrenched at the thought of the cat.
Saskia, Anastacia and Binah’s eyes flicked between the two girls, the only ones aware of what had really happened, all of them sworn to silence. They weren’t what Lottie was worried about. Behind Ellie’s chair, watching her pointedly, was Samuel.
Lottie gulped, trying to make her voice as calm and hinged as possible while feeling like her heart might explode at any moment. ‘I’ve told you, Raphael. Jamie and Haru have been loaned to an important mission by the Partizan council and their whereabouts cannot be disclosed.’
Lottie felt like a robot, spewing out lie after lie at the whim of her programmers, and all the while Ellie stayed silent. Her role as Portman had never felt like such a prison.
Raphael finally picked up his tea and held it to his mouth. ‘I just wish he’d said goodbye.’
Me too, Lottie thought. Part of her envied Raphael’s obliviousness, wondering if it would hurt less if she had no idea where he was.
Lottie thought that would be it for the day, but once they’d parted ways with Raphael and the twins and stepped out into the frosty night, Saskia finally spoke up.
‘Are you two OK?’ she asked, red scarf whipping around her in the snow flurry. There was none of her usual humour, no raised eyebrow or smirk. She only looked confused. ‘This all just seems really weird. You two must want to talk about it? I know your family said you’re handling it but we could still do something, and I don’t know why you’re –’
‘It’s being handled,’ Ellie said before Samuel appeared beside them once more, looming like Lottie’s own personal shadow.
All three girls gawked at Ellie’s response, Anastacia and Binah looking to Lottie like she might be able to explain it, but she could only shake her head. She didn’t understand it either.
During the third week the lack of privacy was becoming even more oppressive, and it wasn’t just Samuel that was the problem. The whole school seemed to be watching her with whispers and curious glances, no longer angry but pitying. There was not a single chance to let her emotions slip.
By the following Friday Lottie understood that she was being watched just as much as she was being looked out for, and if she was going to continue her research and start looking for Jamie, she’d have to be come up with a plan to avoid her new bodyguard.
‘Curfew is in two hours,’ Samuel reminded the girls as they laid their bags down in the library, settling down for another evening of studying.
‘Yes, thank you – we’re aware,’ Lottie replied, the curtness slipping through unintentionally.
Ellie flitted over, brushing snow off her winter coat, and placed a white-chocolate mocha on the table. ‘I got this for you, Lottie.’ She beamed at her, the smile too full, too much like the ones she would give her when they first became friends.
Fingers still red from the cold, Lottie took the cup, her eyes locking with Ellie’s, trying to find any sign of secrets that she was hiding. ‘Thank you.’
The two of them nestled into the booth and Lottie had the oddest feeling of nostalgia, like they were playing happy families. The dark under Ellie’s eyes didn’t match her disjointed smile. This was make believe, but why? Why wouldn’t she let them talk about Jamie or Leviathan?
Binah arrived soon after with some maths notes, cursing the cold weather as she shrugged off her coat. ‘This must be the coldest February we’ve had in years,’ she grumbled, slipping next to Lottie.
This was her chance.
The moment Binah put her bag under the table, Lottie let her pen roll off, and with a small kick of Binah’s bag the pen landed exactly inside.
‘Oops! I’ll get it,’ Lottie said.
She couldn’t even look under the table because she knew if she did they might get suspicious. She’d hidden a message up her sleeve, so all she had to do was grab the pen and drop the paper at the same time.
If Samuel was looking at her face, he’d miss the small move. Something she’d picked up from watching Stephanie and the Artistocracy.
The note contained basic instructions.
Monday, 12:30, under Elwin.
Now she just needed to come up with a reasonable excuse that would give her twenty to thirty minutes alone, enough time to go over the numbers she’d found in Haru’s diary with Binah and tell her she still planned to find Jamie.
It was Sunday, the day before Lottie intended to meet Binah, when she truly saw what Ellie was doing with all her cheeriness.
Lottie was alone in their dorm after curfew, books open around her that she could barely focus on, when Ellie pushed the door open with her hip, appearing with armfuls of snacks and that same plastic smile.
‘Thought you might want some fuel.’ Again Ellie grinned at her, a shadow of the old cocky smile she used to give her, and it made Lottie uneasy.
She sat beside Lottie, opening up a packet of spicy crisps while she leaned over Lottie’s shoulder.
If anyone could see them, they’d think that they were simply two friends studying together. They’d never imagine the fight or the betrayal. So why was Ellie pretending?
‘How’s your PoP tribute coming along?’ Ellie asked, and the question threw her.
Lottie had forgotten, again.
‘I haven’t really been in the right frame of mind to be thinking about it to be honest.’ Lottie closed her book and allowed herself to dig into a jam tart, despite finding the situation extremely odd.
‘Remember when we first found Liliana’s study, on Halloween?’ A soft smile replaced the plastic one on Ellie’s face, a wistful yearning that finally felt real, and Lottie clung to it.
‘I was so afraid,’ Lottie admitted. ‘I couldn’t believe something like that was real, but I think I was more afraid of finding part of myself.’
Ellie leaned back against the bedside table, the tips of her toes touching Lottie’s thigh, the contact making Lottie hyper aware of how little they’d touched each other recently. ‘It’s like you were always destined to find it,’ she said. ‘It’s in your blood.’ Tilting her head to the side inquisitively, Ellie fiddled with the hem of Lottie’s skirt, not making eye contact. ‘I hope you’ll realize that when you start your tribute. I know it’ll be amazing.’
Things Lottie didn’t want to think about began surfacing, which was especially dangerous when she was feeling such a fraying connection to her Portman role and Ellie’s family.
‘Jamie would be so mad if he knew I still hadn’t started it,’ she said instead, letting a painful laugh escape her.
Ellie froze, pulling her fingers away, as she turned back into that strange plastic version of herself.
Lottie stared at her princess, feeling the weight of the silence finally crushing her. ‘Ellie, I can’t do this.’ She let out a sigh, preparing herself for the worst. ‘I don’t know what’s going on with you, but we can’t just pretend everything is fine. I won’t.’
Ellie didn’t even look up, but Lottie could see it. Through that blank look there was a small flicker of light.
‘Please, just for a little while.’ Lottie wasn’t sure she’d even heard Ellie speak. ‘Humour me.’
It was the first honest thing Ellie had said since giving her orders back in the palace. She finally looked up at Lottie with that same pleading look, desperate for something Lottie couldn’t understand.
With every bit of willpower Lottie could muster she shook her head, not letting herself give in this time. ‘We can’t do this forever.’ It hurt to say but Lottie pushed through. ‘We had a fight, and we lost Jamie, and Leviathan could be coming at any second, and –’ Lottie’s voice cracked and she took a second to calm herself. ‘It’s one thing to tell me I can’t go after Jamie or Leviathan, but you told me you didn’t want me, so why all this?’
It was the most painful thing she’d ever had to ask, and she could see it hit Ellie in the same way.
Her princess narrowed her eyes, sinking into herself like the moon disappearing behind a cloud. ‘Please, Lottie, I can’t explain it. I just –’ She swallowed hard and Lottie knew she was still hiding something. Lottie was ready to push her, ready to force her to reveal whatever it was, when Ellie said something shocking. ‘Can’t you just be my Portman?’ she whined, sounding distressed. ‘Like back in the first year we met, just me and you and no danger, please – only for a little while.’
Ellie’s hand found Lottie’s, warm soft fingers curling round her own.
Just being Ellie’s Portman was everything Lottie wanted. It meant being part of a family. Even though it was broken and had parts missing, she still wanted somewhere to belong. But it was wrong. What Ellie was doing was odd, and there was something secret and twisted at the centre of it that Lottie had to fix.
Lottie sighed, feeling like a coward for playing along, but she couldn’t let Ellie know what she was up to, and, more than that, she knew she could never say no to her princess. ‘OK, I’ll humour whatever this is until the PoP when we break up for study leave, but that’s it. This isn’t healthy.’
Ellie nodded enthusiastically, clutching Lottie’s hands until they were sat like they were praying. ‘And then I’ll make everything right, I promise.’
Lottie watched as her princess put on that fake plastic smile once more, helping herself to another handful of food, all the while humming happily, like she’d just solved a problem. And in a dark part of her mind she wondered whether she was the problem Ellie needed to solve.
Lottie tried not to let slip the fear that had just settled in her stomach. Tomorrow, she told herself, tomorrow she’d get to work on Leviathan and finding Jamie.
She’d prove she was still useful as a Portman.
