“Are you excited about starting school, sweetheart?” I ask Lucy. She looks up from the book she’s reading and nods, but the excitement I was expecting is lacking. She’s been like this ever since Alice moved out, and I’m worried. We were so certain she’d grow accustomed to Alice’s absence, but she hasn’t. For months after the divorce came through, Alice and I continued to live together, because we were worried about Lucy. Even now, I worry bringing her to the States was a bad call.
“Are you excited to see your great-gramps?”
She nods again, a small smile lighting up her face. It isn’t like the laughter I’d taken for granted, but it’s more than she’s given me all day.
“What about you, my little man?” I ask Colt.
“Yup, I’m excited, Dad. You think the kids here play Minecraft too?”
I bite back a smile. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure they do. Don’t forget the rules, though. No Minecraft if you haven’t done your homework.”
I already know I’m going to have to watch him. This kid is addicted to his games, but I’m admittedly quite glad he’s got that. He’s stayed in touch with his friends back home through it, and it’s made the move a lot easier on him than it has been on Lucy.
The doorbell rings, and I grin. “I think your great-gramps and Grandma Charlotte are here,” I tell them as I walk toward the door.
“Adrian!” my auntie Charlotte says, wrapping me in a tight hug. “I’m so glad to see you. It feels like it’s been forever since you were home.”
I smile and hug her back, the smell of her hair still the same as it was when we were kids. She might only be Amara’s mother, but she feels like mine, too. She’s never just been my aunt to me, and she’s always treated me like her own son. “Missed you, Aunt Char.”
She pulls away and turns toward the kids, smothering them the way she did me. This. This is exactly what my kids need. When Alice told me she didn’t want custody, I knew I’d have to move closer to my family. It wasn’t an easy choice to make, but seeing Lucy smiling at Aunt Char sets my heart at ease.
“How’d the move go, my boy?” Grandpa asks, offering me his hand.
I nod. “As well as it could’ve gone. The house is perfect. It doesn’t really feel like nearly two weeks have passed already.”
“That was all your aunt,” Grandpa tells me. “She furnished it all for you, and she even made sure you’d have whatever you might need for the kids. Pretty sure she was comparing different first-aid kits for a whole day at one point.”
I glance back at my aunt with a grateful heart. “Honestly, I’m not sure I can do this without you guys. It’s been harder than I expected.”
Grandpa places his hand on my shoulder and smiles. “You don’t have to do this without us, kiddo. We’re all right here, and we’re all happy to help. Once Amara is back from her honeymoon, you’ll struggle to keep her away from the kids.”
I frown at the thought of Amara. I wonder if she knows about Ley and me. I doubt it. If she did, she’d probably have cursed me to hell and back already. I look forward to finally spending some time with my little cousin, but man, do I dread it too.
Perhaps… perhaps I could explain everything to Amara, and with some luck, the story might make its way back to Leia. I shake my head and run a hand through my hair. I’m losing my mind. Leia made it clear she wants nothing to do with me, and I should be grateful for it. I don’t need any complications in my life right now.
“You’ll be joining Astor Corporation?” Grandpa asks as we walk through the house, and I nod.
“I will, but I also want to keep teaching.”
He walks into my home office and looks around, nodding to himself. “It’s going to be hard, Adrian. Both jobs are time-consuming, unless you choose to lecture without doing any research for a while. I’ll give you three years to wrap up your teaching career. I know you’re not ready to say goodbye to it yet, but eventually you must.”
I run a hand through my hair and nod. I knew I’d have to step up as Grandpa’s successor when I moved here. “I’ve already put my research on hold for the time being. Interesting how much you get away with being an Astor at Astor College.”
Grandpa smirks. “You’ve spent too much time away. It’ll be good for you to be back home. You lost sight of who you are over there. You’re an Astor, Adrian. About damn time you start acting like one. You don’t need Alice to raise the kids. Not when you’ve got us, and the best help money can buy.”
“That’s just it, Gramps. I don’t want the kids to be raised by nannies. I want to be there for them. The requirements I asked for still hold true.”
Grandpa nods. “Very well. I’ve already notified building security that the kids will be joining you some afternoons. The next few months will be hard for you all.”
I nod. “I know.”
“Adrian?” Aunt Charlotte calls. I walk back to the living room and smile when I find Colton sitting next to her. He’s usually shy around strangers, but I suppose the video chats throughout the years have helped. Lucy, on the other hand, is still staring down at one of her books. Her reading comprehension is way beyond her age, but I worry she’s using reading as a coping mechanism. It’s not uncommon for her to grab a book when people are around, and I’m not sure what to do about it.
“Yes, Aunt Char?”
“I’m in the process of hiring you a housekeeper and a nanny. I’ve personally selected everyone that’ll be working with you, and they’ve all been screened. The housekeeper will start tomorrow, and your nanny will be starting on Sunday, so you have some time to get to know her and see how she interacts with the kids. She’ll only work half days, starting with school pickup until you come home. Her hours are pretty flexible, and if you want her to work early mornings too, I’m sure we can make that happen.”
I nod, uncomfortable with the thought of a stranger doing everything that Alice once did. Alice used to be a stay-at-home mum. We had a housekeeper, but Alice was still always there if the kids needed her. I don’t like this one bit, but I really need the help.
“Understood. If I don’t like her…”
“You will. But on the off chance that you don’t, I’ve got a few more lined up. As it is, I’ll be hiring two nannies, so there’s always someone available.”
I nod, glad that my aunt is arranging all of this for me. I’m not sure where I’d be without her.
“Thank you, Aunt Char. Everything you’ve done for us… honestly, you’re amazing.”
She smiles at me and shakes her head. “Don’t be silly, my boy. You’ve brought me two kids to spoil. This is the least I can do.”
She wraps her arm around Colton, and he giggles as she presses a kiss on his cheek. She and I both glance at Lucy, but my daughter doesn’t even look up from her book. I’m worried. My working hours are about to increase, and we’re about to introduce two strangers into our lives. I don’t know how she’s going to cope. I worry it’s all too much change.
While I wish I could, I can’t be a mother. Lucy and Alice always had a special bond, and I can’t replace that. I’m doing all I can, but with each passing day, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing for my kids. I’m terrified that I’m failing them.
