Anxiety hits me hard when my head hits my pillow, the events of the last few weeks flashing through my mind. I thought it was bad enough to have Alice back here, but this is infinitely worse.
This could destroy my career. I want to continue my research and become a professor, but that might not be possible. Even if I manage to finish my doctorate, my academic career is likely over. They won’t take me on as a researcher if rumors about my lack of professionalism start to circulate.
I bite down on my lip in an attempt to temper my panic. Lucy and Colton hate me, Thor just lost a job I know he loves, and my education and career path are on the line. I wish I could convince myself to regret my relationship with Thor, but I can’t. Even as my whole life falls apart around me, I can’t imagine leaving him. Despite everything that’s happened, I’m certain we’ll make it through.
I just wish that they hadn’t found out before I finished my PhD. Just a few more weeks, and we’d have been in the clear. I was planning on telling my parents about him after I finished my education and he ceased to be my professor. Similarly, in just a few weeks’ time, there’s nothing the college could’ve done, as I’d no longer be a student there.
The timing couldn’t be worse, and I can’t help but wonder if Alice is behind it. I never should’ve shown up at her house like I did. I was foolish to think I could change her mind. If anything, I’ve just made the situation so much worse.
I sit up when my phone buzzes, the edges of my lips tipping up into a small smile when I see Thor’s name on my screen.
Thor: come outside. I’m parked around the block in the usual spot.
I slip out of bed, my anxiety melting away at the thought of being in his arms. I never used to sneak out of the house before. I used to be far too worried about my parents catching me, yet tonight I’ve got my robe and slippers on in record time.
My heart races as I walk around the block, my eyes darting around to see if any of the neighbors are out and about, but the streets are empty.
I find Thor leaning against his car, his expression as tired as I feel. “Hey, Princess,” he says, smiling.
I smile at him and jump into his arms. He holds me close and buries his face into my hair, inhaling deeply. “God, I missed you.”
I sigh and hug him tighter. “You saw me today,” I reply, even though I feel the same way.
“I can’t do this long-distance thing anymore,” he tells me, making me chuckle.
“You live twenty minutes from my house, Thor.”
He nods. “That’s twenty minutes too long.”
My heart skips a beat when I look into his eyes. I’ve never felt anything like this before. Even when the whole world wants to rip us apart, this still feels right.
“Are we going to be okay?” I ask, a small seed of doubt making its way through.
Thor cups my face with both hands and nods. “We will be. We had a rough start, but we’re going to be okay, my love. This sets us back a little until they conclude their investigation, but that’s okay. I have full faith that they’ll clear you. They’ll let you graduate.”
“You lost your job, Thor. You once told me that your mother was a professor, and I know how reluctant you are every time you go into your grandfather’s office. I know your heart lies with teaching. How can you just give that up? Maybe they’ll let it go if we agree to break up. There are just so many signs telling us that we shouldn’t be together… how long are we going to ignore all that?”
He tenses and buries a hand into my hair. “We’re going to discuss this once, and then I never want to hear you say this again, you hear me?”
I nod, my heart unsettled. It’s something that’s been on my mind, and though I’ve tried not to voice it, something feeling right doesn’t mean it is right.
“Tell me about these signs, Princess.”
“It’s just everything… the kids suddenly hating me, you losing your job, my dissertation being on the line. We’re risking so much, and for what? So you can destroy your family and I can destroy my career?”
“Leia,” he says, his voice soft. “The kids love you, and you know it. There’s no one better suited for our family than you. You’re perfect for me and the kids in every way. I genuinely think you might love them more than you love me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Lucy and Colton have their mother whispering lies into their ears, and for the time being, we can’t do much about that without jeopardizing their relationship with her. Give it some time, and they’ll get used to us being together. They’ll have to, and we’ll do our best to make it as easy on them as we can.”
I nod. I know that what he’s saying is true, but I can’t help but worry. I’m worried I’m hurting the kids, and that’s the last thing I want to do.
“When I moved back to the States, I came to an agreement with my grandfather. He helped me with the kids, the move, and the house, and in return, I would join the family business. He gave me a maximum of three years to learn how the family business works, and to give up on my teaching career. That was always coming, Princess. At some point, I was always going to start working for my grandfather. Your dissertation is something I can’t fully control, but they won’t want to lose their jobs. When it comes down to it, I’ll have everyone who makes a fuss replaced. It’s Astor college, baby. They won’t want to offend me. Have some faith in me, okay? I’m trying my hardest not to burn any bridges, but for you, I will. Hell, I’ll burn down the whole damn world for you if I need to. Being with me won’t cost you your career. I’ll make sure of it.”
I rise to my tiptoes and kiss him, losing myself in him for a moment. Thor tightens his grip on my hair, his touch rough, desperate, as though he’s feeling everything I’m feeling. The two of us are holding onto each other as though we’re all we’ve got, and in many ways, that’s true.
We’re both breathing hard when I pull away, and he brushes his thumb over my lips tenderly. “I love you, Leia.”
I look up at him and grin. “I love you more,” I whisper.
“It leads me to the next topic I wanted to discuss with you, Princess. I was dead serious when I said you’re too far away. I want to meet your parents. I know they’re traditional, and I know that there will be several further trials awaiting us, but I want to be with you.”
“I… it doesn’t really work that way,” I tell him cautiously. “We don’t really… we don’t do that. Having boyfriends isn’t really a thing. It’s weird, I know, but…”
“I don’t think you understand, Leia. I want to meet your parents so I can ask for your hand in marriage.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “You… you want to do what?”
He bites down on his lip and looks away. “I asked Amara about it, and she said I can’t just propose to you. She told me I can’t even think about doing that until I have your parents’ approval.”
I feel the tears gathering in my eyes, and my throat closes up with overflowing emotions. The last few weeks have been so hard that I was certain he’d leave me. I thought it’d all be too much, and that he’d give in to the kids. I didn’t think he’d still want to marry me.
“Ley,” he murmurs, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead. “Don’t cry, baby. It breaks my heart when you do that.”
I wrap my arms around him and burst into tears. “I just love you so much,” I sob. “I want nothing more than to be your wife.”
He hugs me tightly, one arm wrapped around my waist, and the other buried in my hair. “I’ll still propose to you, baby. I want you to have it all. Being with me won’t cost you anything, I swear it. I won’t let you miss out on all the traditions you love, but I’ll also go down on one knee so you’ll have that experience too. Being with me won’t cost you your career, it won’t cost you your dreams. I promise you, Princess.”
I nod and tighten my grip on him. This. This is exactly what I needed after a few horrible weeks. Thor and I… maybe we’ll be fine, after all.
