The Legionnaire Games: Day 33, hour 2
Overwhelmed by all the horrible things I’d learned about Jinx, I sprinted down the empty halls.
It was late at night, and everyone at the academy was in their rooms.
The quiet made the realization so much worse.
“So much,” Jinx had said brokenly about how much she’d made us forget.
My memories had been erased. I no longer knew what was true.
What was I if not a collection of my remembered experiences? I was a fractured being. A soulmancer, one of the rumored beings of darkness.
I ran because I had to do something. Otherwise, I’d fall apart.
I ran from myself.
But when I glanced behind me, something very real was chasing me down the gleaming hall.
Lightning flashed and highlighted veins that bulged out of a tensed neck. The beast ran with his hand pressed over his mouth.
A devil hunted me.
He was chasing after me like he wanted to hurt me; he was sprinting like a predator that wanted to do horrible things to its prey.
In the empty hall, there was nothing left of the man I’d thought I knew.
The soft, pretty man was gone. Dead.
He was still breathtakingly stunning, but he was cruel. Sharply edged. Dangerous.
Had he ever existed?
A sharp bolt of pain streaked down my spine, and I pointedly ignored the implication.
Heavy footsteps slapped against the chilled black marble floor like gunshots.
A towering being barreled after me, and his expression was pure evil.
Pumping my legs with all my might, I ran faster than I had when I was missing an arm and ungodly chased me in the desert.
I ran faster than I had after I’d eaten my mother’s heart.
Being chased down the halls of Elite Academy was the most frightened I’d ever been.
Like my subconscious knew I was running from something terrifying.
My breath came out in short, painful bursts, and my heart pounded erratically in my chest.
Crystals clinked as chandeliers swayed from the vibrations of his steps.
Just one more hall.
Turning the corner, I lowered my head, pumped my arms, and drove forward with my legs. I didn’t need to hear him to sense how close his presence was.
Goose bumps erupted down my arms as I threw myself through the bedroom door. I screamed for Malum and Scorpius and didn’t stop running until I’d locked myself in a shower stall.
Hyperventilating under icy water, I stared at the floor and sucked on my pipe.
Felt nothing.
The haze was back, but it was soaked with terror. Distorted. It was worse than ever.
The day had passed in seconds, but the hours felt like weeks.
Forehead pressed against the tiled wall; icy spray soaked my clothes. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d taken a casual shower.
After Mother began lighting me on fire, I’d shower in scalding heat to chase away the bizarre chill that seemed to burn me from the inside out. It lingered after each session.
I’d sit under the scalding spray writhing in agony until my skin was red.
Then I’d start scrubbing.
After I’d run away to the shifter realm, my habits had changed. I’d started showering to remove the microscopic dirt, the grime I couldn’t see but knew coated every inch of my body. Running was cowardly. It had left me feeling dirty.
In my twenties, the anger had arrived, and freezing cold water was the only thing that washed away the violent thoughts.
Now I showered to try to clear the haze.
Maybe if the water was frigid enough, it would shock me out of the muddled darkness?
It wasn’t working.
Everything was muted and twisted, and I shivered, but it wasn’t from the cold. Lately, it was never from the cold.
I got dressed in a blur.
In a moment of lucidity, I panicked over the fact that I couldn’t find a single pair of underwear. The moment passed, and I quickly forgot about it. I was too tired to care as I pulled on my dry clothes.
Peeking out the bathroom door, I was relieved to find the bedroom dark. All my teammates were sleeping in their beds.
With chattering teeth, I tiptoed across the rug toward my friend. John snored softly as he faced the wall.
Climbing into bed beside him, I resisted the urge to curl up against his warmth.
John belonged to the pretty girl who’d sucked on his dick.
He wasn’t mine to touch.
Pulling my hoodie up over my head, I squeezed myself into a ball under the covers and, through lowered lashes, looked across the room at the bed I’d been avoiding.
Orion’s arms were draped casually around Scorpius and Malum. They clung to him like they were afraid he would disappear.
All traces of the crazed man that had chased after me were gone.
His stunning, almost too-pretty features were relaxed in sleep, and he looked like some type of whimsical fairy-tale creature.
I knew better.
The dying fire caressed his golden skin like a lover.
Long lashes fluttered, and dark eyes opened wide. Orion turned his head to the side and looked directly at me. His pupils expanded.
A shudder shook through me, and I bit down on my lower lip to stop my teeth from chattering.
I pulled the blankets up to my chin and scooted back closer to John.
Orion kept staring. He didn’t blink.
In the darkness his eyes had a slight green sheen to them that reminded me of a cat’s.
I hid my face under the covers and breathed raggedly. After counting to one hundred, I peeked out and looked over.
With his face angled forward, high, arched cheekbones made Orion look wicked.
The harsh lines of his expression looked positively depraved. Uptilted eyes were wide and staring directly at me.
It hit me how stupid I’d been.
Just because a monster was prettier and quieter than the others, it didn’t make it any less terrifying.
It made it worse.
I stared back, unable to reconcile the quiet man who’d kissed me softly and smiled gently with the one that had chased after me. It seemed wrong that his mates were clinging to him like he was their salvation.
Did they know the extent of his madness?
Perhaps I wasn’t the only one who’d been living a lie.
Time ticked by slowly, but I couldn’t close my eyes. My brain refused to shut off and relax. I couldn’t sleep while a devil was watching me with gleaming eyes.
So I didn’t.
Seconds became minutes. Hours passed.
Orion never looked away.
Neither did I.
By the time morning came around, my back was fully plastered against John for support, and my jaw ached from gritting my teeth.
My eyes were bleary from staring.
When Scorpius and Malum woke, they stretched and smiled at Orion. Wrapping their arms around him tiredly, they pressed kisses along his jawline and neck while whispering to each other.
Finally, Orion tore his eyes off me, and his expression softened.
He smiled back at his mates and relaxed like he hadn’t been lying stiffly for hours in their embraces.
I stumbled out of bed and ran to the bathroom.
I took another cold shower. Scrubbed my skin raw.
Stumbled down the halls.
At breakfast, I rubbed the bags under my eyes and pushed my eggs back and forth across my plate. Students murmured with excitement, but for the most part, the hall was quiet with anticipation.
It was the day of the second competition. Two of four. After today we’re halfway there.
I rubbed my hands over my arms and tried to convince myself everything was fine.
Next to me John smiled and made a bad joke about a chicken crossing a street as he chowed down on the mountain of food that was piled high on his plate.
Across the hall, the man crucified on the sacred tree opened his mangled lips. He said something, but the sound didn’t travel. None of the students sitting near him acted like they heard him. He was ignored.
John flung his arm across my shoulder and made another joke.
I forgot to laugh.
At the commoner table, a familiar-looking woman stared longingly at John. She was uncommonly pretty, and I realized she’d sucked his dick a few days ago.
I pulled John’s arm off me and scooted away.
“Don’t make me chase after you, Aran.” John’s smile fell.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me back beside him. He mumbled under his breath, “You don’t get to leave my side.”
I looked up at him with confusion, but he was grinning and eating like nothing had happened.
Maybe I’d imagined it?
It wouldn’t be the first time.
Across the hall, the pretty woman’s expression was shattered. A tear streaked down her face. A few feet away at the other table, Sari glared at me with disgust.
I turned my head in the other direction.
Sadie was slumped forward with a scowl on her face. All the shifters stared at the thirteen-year-old girl who sat perfectly straight as she cut the crust off her bread, with a ferret around her neck.
I looked away from Jinx with shame. A child under my care has suffered.
I pushed my fork slowly back and forth across my plate.
“Eat, Arabella,” Scorpius ordered.
I jolted at the name.
“You’re so terribly weak.” Mother tsked and clacked her nails against her chalice. “How sad that you’ll never amount to anything.” She smirked, and blue flames engulfed me.
I sobbed. Drooled onto the floor as agony ate my nerves.
Why did her blue fire have to be so unique? Why did it hurt so badly without burning? Why was she so powerful, yet I was so weak?
Malum’s gruff voice broke through the mirage. “Arabella, are you listening to him? Pay attention when your betters address you.” His voice was warped and distant. “Don’t test us, because we’ll gladly shove food down your throat.”
I dug my fork into the eggs.
Mashed them into my lips beside my pipe and smacked my gums loudly. Held the food in my cheeks.
Time bled away like sand in an hourglass.
My teammates talked.
I forgot that I was supposed to listen.
“Meal’s over,” Malum said loudly.
He clapped his hands in front of my face. I jumped, where was I?
Malum gestured to the door. “Lothaire will come by our room and tell us who’s competing soon. Everyone needs to be ready.”
Chairs pushed back with a loud scrape.
I leaned forward, stuck out my tongue, and spat out all the gross eggs. They tasted like baby chickens.
In my periphery, Malum lunged for me, but Orion held him back. I didn’t mistake his action for kindness.
Scorpius sneered something about me being the problem.
Obviously?
John wrapped his arm around my shoulder and dragged me forward.
Three blue-haired students bowed to me as we passed them in the crowded halls. I saluted them and mumbled, “Thank you for your service.”
One of them burst into tears because I’d addressed them.
I tried not to laugh.
Students jostled one another as they tried to make a pathway for the legions, but everyone had exited the hall at once, and it was cramped.
Lightning flashed, and someone screamed because they didn’t move fast enough away from the wall. Electric.
John yanked me forward as he scoffed at my bowing supporters, and the momentum made me bump into some students.
A woman whispered loudly, “What’s wrong with her? Why is she stumbling like that?”
The man next to her grimaced. “She’s clearly not well. How embarrassing.”
I was tired of pretending to heal, I was going to start traumatizing everyone back. I blew a cloud of smoke in their direction.
They coughed.
I lunged at them aggressively and they stumbled away in fear.
“Ignore them,” John said roughly and pulled me under his other arm so he shielded me with his body from the crowd. “They know nothing.”
He breathed heavily like he was agitated by what they’d said.
“I mean, they’re not wrong,” I said.
John tucked me harder against his warm chest, and I ignored the jolt of pain that zinged down my spine.
In front of us the crowd was blocking the hall. Malum shoved a student to the ground who didn’t get out of his way, and Scorpius kicked him. Orion stepped over him like he wasn’t there.
The demons followed and ignored the fallen student, who scurried backward on all fours into the crowd.
Who was more afraid of the demons than the kings?
Idiots. That was who.
Someone jostled John, and I winced as my still-healing leg buckled under the sharp movement.
“Shit, did they hurt you?” John asked with concern.
Before I could say I was fine (which I was definitely not), Scorpius was standing in front of us.
He snarled at the students who bumped us, “Move out of the fucking way. Touch my legion mate again and you’re dead.” His milky, blind eyes flashed with violence.
Legion mate. Interesting term.
I was surprised he hadn’t said “slave.”
Students fell over themselves running away.
Malum imitated a bonfire behind Scorpius, and Orion scowled while, you guessed it, he stared at me without blinking.
Whatever. I leaned harder against John.
We made it the rest of the way down the hall without incident.
Well, there was just one teeny, tiny moment where Malum snapped a woman’s wrist because she touched Orion’s hair without permission.
The girl sobbed, and Scorpius told her to “shut the fuck up.”
You gotta love men who empower women.
Very inspiring stuff.
When we finally got back to the room, I collapsed onto the bed like I’d run thirty miles. I stared at the black hole in the ceiling like it contained the meaning of the universe. Plot twist: it didn’t.
Horse flew around the ceiling and cawed aggressively at everyone in a show of pure might while I sucked on my pipe until the room spun.
“Make him shut up,” Malum snarled as he stretched on the floor.
I shook my head. “Horse is not a filthy male like you. Don’t lump him in with yourself.”
Horse cawed louder because he was a genius.
“You just called him a he,” Malum said as he leaned forward and touched his toes. “Idiot.”
“You’re so fucking toxic,” I muttered as I resumed smoking. Sure, I called Horse a he, but that didn’t mean he identified as a man. Malum was the idiot. Sun god he sickened me.
Suddenly, Lothaire was standing in our doorway, speaking. “The competitors chosen this round from your legion are John, Scorpius, and—”
He paused.
He should have read the third name, but he stopped speaking. Lothaire swallowed thickly, and he hesitated like it pained him to read the last name on his sheet.
Wonderful. I knew exactly where this was going.
“Arabella,” Lothaire finally whispered, and his voice dripped with regret like he was overwhelmed with emotions.
Not relatable.
John jolted up from where he was sitting next to me on the bed and said, “That’s not fair. She competed last time.”
I sighed heavily.
Life isn’t fair, and only the lucky few die.
We already knew this.
I wasn’t lucky.
Lothaire scowled as he said, “The gods have spoken. But I agree this is unusual.” He turned to leave. “I will speak to the representatives.”
“Don’t,” I said.
Lothaire stopped at the threshold, his large frame full of tension as he looked back at me.
I nodded like I’d come to a decision. “I want to fight. Don’t say anything to anyone. I want to compete.”
The deep lines around Lothaire’s eyes crinkled. “Are you sure?” He looked at me skeptically. “You’re still covered in bruises and cuts from the last competition. The cut under your left eye looks bone deep.”
I shrugged with a nonchalance I didn’t feel. “It’s all cosmetic and appears worse than it is. Let me fight. Let me prove myself.”
He stared at me with a sad expression, and I could tell he was trying silently to tell me he cared.
I telepathically told him I wished I were adopted.
Personally, I was doing a good enough job ruining my life without a father speeding up the process.
There was a long moment where I thought he’d argue, but Lothaire sagged his shoulders and nodded curtly. “Very well,” he said. “Good luck, daughter.”
Then he walked away.
If that wasn’t a metaphor for my life.
I rolled my eyes and flipped off the door after he left. It helped. A little.
Malum said something derogatory under his breath as he looked down at me with an expression that was close to pitying.
“You don’t want to do this, do you?” he asked softly and clenched his fists. Like for the first time, he viewed me as a person and realized I was suffering.
I looked away.
My silence was answer enough.
He made a pained noise behind me.
Rubbing at my chest, I tried to ignore my disappointment over how quickly Lothaire had believed my lies. Of course I didn’t want to compete. I wasn’t an imbecile.
Did I look like a try hard? No.
I preferred to be a try soft. Life on easy mode was what I was looking for. Sadly, I had not found it yet.
Case in point, my injuries were not cosmetic.
Bones were broken, and my bruises ran deep.
I just didn’t care enough to argue over the injustice of it all. According to Jinx, I was being tested, and it made the most sense that it was the gods who were responsible.
They wanted me to act righteously.
Well then, I was going to be the best person there ever was.
Maybe.
Eh, honestly. Probably not.
Would it be cowardly to kill the kings and feed my heart to someone before the tattoo revived me? It sounded superb about now.
I sucked harder on my pipe.
“Come on, let’s get ready,” John said with his trademark smile as he pulled me away from the wall, toward the bathroom.
His fingers were warm as he stroked black paint across my cheeks.
“I’ll keep you safe, Aran.” He leaned into my personal space and touched my face.
His thumb traced little patterns across the tops of my cheeks.
John’s dark eyes sparked with something I’d never seen directed my way.
Pain lanced my spine.
I exhaled loudly and pulled away from him.
“Don’t be weird, dude.” I laughed shakily.
John flashed his dimples. He bopped my nose with black paint and winked. “Whatever you say, dude.”
I scrunched my nose and scrubbed at it as I looked away and tried to hide the flush I felt warming my cheeks as I grinned.
Fireworks of pain exploded across my back.
My smile fell.
I was born to suffer.
