“I choose death.” I choked on air and wondered if I suffered from asthma.
My body burned with agony, and I would have strangled myself to end my misery if I thought I could manage it.
“We’ve run half a mile,” Cobra said with exasperation as he bounded in front of me like his life’s purpose was to run and be an ass.
“Do you enjoy being a dick?” I asked in between heavy gasps.
“Yes.” He smirked and kept prancing like a goddamn deer.
You know what ate deer? Saber-toothed tigers. I wanted to rip my teeth into him and gnaw on his kidneys.
“Focus on your breathing,” Jax said calmly as he ran easily beside me.
A blush spread across my cheeks as the large alpha spoke to me. For some reason, I couldn’t look him in the eye after our bedroom activities.
Jax was the sweet, kind one who liked to cuddle and wasn’t completely unwell.
At least he’d used to be.
Now he was a massively muscled alpha who made my stomach cramp every time I looked at him.
He had big “call me Daddy” energy, something I’d never been into, but I was discovering there were a lot of things I didn’t know about myself.
Like the fact that I wanted Jax to choke me and order me around while he speared me with his massive, pierced dick.
Not the journey I’d ever seen for myself, but it was the path I was on.
I tripped over a tree root and barely caught myself. We were running on the path through the woods outside of the complex known as the village.
A loud growl rumbled behind me, and I realized all the men had stopped running. Four sets of eyes glowed and gave me a weird look.
My stomach pinched. “Did I say something aloud?”
“Just that you want Jax to order you around while he spears you with his massive, pierced dick,” Cobra said with a frown on his face.
It was official: I was giving up on life. Embarrassment flooded through me, and my face burned.
Then I did something I never thought I would ever do…I voluntarily sprinted away from the alphas.
Arms pumping, chest heaving, I flew over the ground like the devil himself was on my heels.
There was no way I was ever going to be able to look Jax in the eye. He was a seasoned alpha who had probably fucked hundreds of men and women. Meanwhile, I was acting frazzled and crazy around him.
I had big virgin energy right now, and it was not cute.
Once again, I thought about the sex clinics Aran had said were popular. The village was a massive compound full of fae, and my gut told me there was probably a clinic nearby.
Chestnuts, pine, snow, and cinnamon overwhelmed my gasping lungs as the men easily caught up to me.
Instead of sprinting away impressively, I just tired myself out. Sweat dripped down my brow as I vomited a little in my mouth.
At this rate, I was 99 percent sure I had a puking problem I needed to see a doctor about.
“It’s fine, little alpha. Don’t worry,” Jax said softly and smiled down as he jogged up beside me.
I made the mistake of looking into his stormy eyes. My ovaries combusted, and my face flamed with heat.
He was so sweet and dominant. It was an addicting combination that I hadn’t known I wanted.
It also reminded me I still needed to lose my virginity.
Good thing was that four handsome men jogged beside me. It wasn’t like I had to date any of them, just have sex.
Except for Xerxes, he obviously didn’t count because he was literally working for the enemy and clearly had issues.
Still, that left Jax, Cobra, and Ascher. Since Ascher had betrayed me, realistically he was also off the list.
I had some standards.
Sadly, that left Cobra and Jax, who were a couple themselves, which made things a tad complicated.
No big deal, I reassured myself. I could always go to a sex clinic. Plus, it wasn’t like losing my virginity was a top priority or anything.
Frankly, surviving was at the top of the list.
It just felt like something I needed to take care of. A life experience I needed to check off because I might literally be murdered in gladiator games any day now.
Impending doom really puts things into perspective.
Also, maybe if I lost it, I could look at Jax without acting like a complete fool.
It was weird, because after my closet experience with Cobra, I didn’t feel any different around the snake alpha.
Although, it was probably because the only feeling I had around him was the urge to strangle him violently with my own hands. And not in a sexual way.
After this morning, that clarification was necessary.
My core heated just thinking about Jax above me in bed, his callused fingers running all over my body.
Oh my sun god, when he’d told me I was going to “take all of” him, something had come alive inside me.
I mentally fanned myself. It was for sure going down as one of the hottest experiences of my life.
I tripped over a rock as my legs gave out beneath me.
Faster than I could track, Ascher reached a hand out to steady me.
“Thanks,” I said as I heaved in air and tried to channel “strong, independent woman who can run” energy.
It was much harder to project than it should have been.
Ascher said nothing, just nodded and kept staring at me with his amber eyes. It was disconcerting how calm he was. I kept expecting him to swear and yell at me like he’d used to.
Instead of being a hothead, he was calm as shit.
Too calm.
The corners of his eyes crinkled slightly, and the colorful tattoos covering his body bunched as his muscles moved. His large horns curled high and proud off his body.
The jagged, chipped edge of his right horn was a reminder that he had nose-dived off a platform for me.
My stomach turned over, and I didn’t know how to feel.
It was hard to hate someone when they threw themselves thousands of feet over empty air to cushion your fall.
I was still pissed at him, but no longer had a burning desire to slit his throat and ask Jax to bury his body.
It was a light burn of anxiety that made me wary around him.
One thing was for sure: he still wasn’t forgiven. Which was too bad, because his flame-and-rose tattoos were extremely attractive.
“Stop looking at him,” Cobra snapped.
Cobra, on the other hand—I would dig his grave any day of the week. “Jax, will you help me bury Cobra’s body?” I asked.
My stomach pinched just saying Jax’s name, but I forced myself to act relaxed and normal. No way I could live and fight beside the big guy if I started acting weird.
“Sure, little alpha.” Jax smiled at me, and I focused on jumping over a tree branch and not my exploding ovaries.
I didn’t concentrate hard enough, and I tripped again.
This time, I face-planted into a tree trunk too fast for anyone to stop me.
My concussed brain rattled inside my skull.
I moaned and choked on excessive spit as I tried to right myself and continue the death march.
The trainers at the village had told us we only had to do one lap on the trail around the compound.
They’d forgotten to mention that the outdoor trail never ended.
“How can she not run? She’s an alpha. I don’t get it,” Xerxes asked from the back of the group.
His luscious blond hair streamed behind him, and his purple eyes were bright with confusion as he jogged like he was weightless.
The other alphas just shook their heads; they were used to my inability to run.
“This is better than usual,” Ascher said dryly, and I flipped him off as I stumbled and continued the run.
I was a queen at multitasking.
“It can’t be any worse than this?” Xerxes asked with shock.
I choked on a fly that flew into my esophagus and blocked all airflow. We were underground; how were there any insects?
The fae realm was bizarre.
“I thought she genuinely had two broken legs the first time she ran,” Cobra said. He winced in pain as Jax slapped him across the back of the head.
Blessedly, no one said anything after that for a long while.
When we finally finished, I marked it as a win in my book that I hadn’t keeled over.
In the final ten feet, my left boob burned with pain, and I’d been 99.9 percent sure I was suffering from a heart attack.
Shockingly, for good or for bad, I had not died.
We were the last group to finish the run. A large fae trainer asked with confusion what had taken us so long.
Instead of answering his inane question, I gracefully face-planted onto the grass.
After a few minutes of inhaling dirt and feeling sorry for myself, I rolled over and inspected the other competitors.
The teams lay on the ground, stretching in their groups.
The three earth fae were short, stocky men built wide with enormous chests.
The five air fae were taller and willowy with lean limbs, and the four water fae weren’t particularly tall or short. They looked average.
Other than that, the fae all had different hair colors, eye colors, and skin colors. The fae were an eclectic-looking group.
In contrast, the half alphas, and my alphas, were much taller and wider. They were chiseled and covered in muscles like statues of warriors.
Demetre and Jax stood out as much larger and stronger.
I was the runt of the group. But I didn’t let it get to me; someone had to do it. I liked to pretend I represented vertically challenged people everywhere.
On the soft grass, I stretched with the other teams. I focused on trying to touch my toes, which was an impossible task.
Apparently, running and flexibility went together.
Highly disappointing.
A water fae shouted, “Ryak!” to the blockhead dude who’d yelled at me in the cafeteria.
He had a dumbass name to go with his dumbass personality.
I didn’t feel bad about making fun of his name, because he was still glaring at me. The only good thing was he kept glancing over at Xerxes in fear.
I also avoided turning my head to the side because in my peripheral vision, Demetre and the twins huddled together and whispered.
They were deep in conversation, and I couldn’t help but worry that they were plotting how to murder me.
Also, seeing Demetre again reminded me of the little shadow snake and how it had helped me.
I mentally took stock of my body and realized I couldn’t feel the shadow snake’s presence zinging.
It was gone.
My heart plummeted to the ground, and my eyes burned with unshed tears. I couldn’t help but feel like the little snake guy had sacrificed himself to save me.
He was a small piece of comfort that I hadn’t realized how heavily I relied on. I focused on pulling out the grass and didn’t let my tears fall.
For the little snake, I would be strong. He had always been around, offering me comfort and helping me when I felt down.
Before I could break down into an emotional mess in front of the other competitors, a shadow blocked the fluorescent lights from the ceiling high above.
I squinted up, and my stomach plummeted even further.
Demetre’s large form stood above me.
I looked over and realized Ascher, Jax, and Cobra had walked away to talk to each other in a huddle. Xerxes stood behind them, listening, and all their backs were facing me.
My heart fell because they hadn’t included me.
I searched for the numb, but it still needed to recharge and was just out of my grasp.
If I weren’t so exhausted from running, I might have panicked that I was 100 percent about to be murdered.
It was slightly embarrassing, but I was still relieved my torment was about to end.
Technically, if Demetre killed me right now, I would never have to run again.
The logic was sound.
I may or may not have lain back on my elbows and accepted my fate.
“I just wanted to talk to you,” Demetre said quietly.
Up close, his alpha scent of burning steel choked me.
I raised my eyebrows at him—call me crazy, but I didn’t really want to have a conversation about how to disembowel me.
Like if he was going to end me, I got it, but he should try to be a little respectful about it. Clearly, the half warrior had no class.
There was a long, awkward pause as neither of us said anything.
Finally, I addressed the elephant in the room. “Um, you almost killed me.”
The betrayal hurt worse because I’d worshipped him growing up.
Demetre knelt until he sat next to me on the grass, like he was trying to appear less large and intimidating. Or just getting a better angle to slit my throat.
His pink eyes stared at me, and they glowed unnaturally bright against his olive skin.
He frowned. “I didn’t mean to attack you like that.”
I checked my pulse to make sure I hadn’t died and gone to an alternate universe. “You challenged me to the fight. How in this realm did you not mean it?”
The man was nuts.
“I challenged you because I know the water fae, Ryak in particular, has it out for you. He’s notoriously extreme when it comes to his beliefs about a woman’s role.”
My last functioning brain cell struggled to process what was happening.
“So you challenged me to a duel and beat me viciously to save me?”
Whose mans was this? Someone needed to get him and check him into a mental institution.
“No.” He ran his hand through his long black hair roughly. “I was going to knock you out, or just throw you over the platform. You’re an immortal alpha; you would have survived the drop. But if Ryak had illegally used one of his weapons, he could have gutted you and held you while you bled out. I’ve seen him cheat before.”
I picked at the grass and wondered when Aran would visit or if there was a knitting group in the village.
I needed to rant to some women about these men because they were unreal.
“Okay, so then why did you become so violent?” I asked as I remembered the feel of his fists slamming into my flesh, breaking my cartilage and bone.
His olive skin flared a bright pink, and Demetre looked away like he was embarrassed. “The song of the hunt overwhelmed me. It’s something that only affects the most powerful half warriors. I’m more powerful than most, and when I’m challenged, it completely consumes me. I wasn’t expecting you to fight so well, and your alpha dominance made me lose control.”
I sighed heavily and tried not to let my elation show on my face.
My childhood crush had been triggered by my alpha dominance.
Finally, someone recognized my prowess.
“Don’t do it again, and I’ll forgive you,” I said honestly.
My list of enemies was so long that I couldn’t afford to isolate people who apologized.
Also, he was my childhood idol, so I would probably forgive him for anything. Was that embarrassing for me? Yes.
Did I care? No.
Rationally, I knew I should not be forgiving this man, because he had literally dropped me to my potential death.
Irrationally, Demetre was my idol.
Plus, he’d said sorry.
Part of my brain was shouting at me to wake the fuck up and not be a pushover.
The other part of my brain wanted me to ask for his autograph and tell him it was no big deal, that he’d thrown me off a cliff.
What could I say? Reading about Demetre’s adventures had gotten me through Dick’s abuse. I was 100 percent aware that logic made no sense, but I had never pretended to be well.
If Demetre wanted to throw me off a cliff and be my bestie, this friendship was setting sail.
“Get away from her!” Jax roared across the yard and started sprinting toward us.
“Okay, cool, see you later.” Demetre smiled and gave me a thumbs-up, and it was so boyish and at odds with his muscular build that I choked on laughter.
He ran back to his group as my psycho alphas approached.
When Jax got to me, he fell onto his knees and ran his hands over my body like he needed to make sure I was all right. “Did he hurt you?” he whispered in a horrified voice as he held me close.
“Mmph.” I tried to mumble no, but it was muffled because I was plastered against his massive chest.
Cobra stood above us and growled, “Kitten, why didn’t you call me over? You are not allowed to be alone with another man.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, genuinely flabbergasted by his words. Who did he think he was? My lady’s chaperone?
This wasn’t the eighteenth-century human realm.
The man was nuts.
Next to Cobra, Ascher glared over at Demetre like he wanted to kill him. He narrowed his eyes at me like he was remembering me staring at the warrior during the opening ceremony.
And I tried to keep an innocent expression on my face. Ascher totally knew I was obsessed with Demetre.
Behind the three alphas, Xerxes hung back and watched the spectacle with a shake of his head.
“I made a friend.” I smiled at the men just to piss them off.
It worked.
Cobra made a weird, rattling roar noise that echoed through the yard. “He fucking almost killed you. What is wrong with you?”
I held up three fingers on my hand and put them down one at a time. “First, what is wrong with you, ordering me about like I’m your possession? Second, he apologized, and I am a good person who doesn’t hold grudges. Third, what were you all just talking about and why wasn’t I included?”
Jax winced, and Ascher looked away from me.
Cobra stared at me with a frosty scowl. “We’ve decided none of us are going to fuck you while we’re stuck in these games. It’s dangerous and could affect our team’s dynamic. We need to keep you safe, not fight over you.”
My ovaries sobbed.
I turned toward Jax.
“Really?” I asked quietly, and I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my broken, raspy voice.
“Just for now, little alpha. It’s best for your safety,” Jax said softly and looked at me with regret as he ran his hands through his long braids.
“Good, well, I didn’t want to fuck you guys either.” I needed to find Aran and get more information about the sex clinic ASAP. Or just find some dope enchanted vibrator. Being around so many amazing, scented alphas was bad for my libido.
It was officially an emergency.
“Are you mad?” Jax asked as he gnawed on his lush lower lip.
“Nope,” I said and popped the p.
Then, like a mature, independent woman who was going to lose her virginity soon, I stomped away to eat breakfast, mope, and probably cry over some waffles.
Rationally, it didn’t matter, and I was a bad bitch who didn’t need a man.
Irrationally, I was a woman who just wanted to get railed and told I was pretty.
