I was alone in the bedroom because the guys had gone for an afternoon run and I had complained my sternum hurt too badly.
Truthfully, Ascher had dumped the unicorn chips into the bath he’d given me, and my chest didn’t hurt that badly anymore. I’d just needed some personal time.
Xerxes had accompanied the men and mumbled something about how they were more dangerous than I was, which was just rude.
As soon as the men left, I grabbed a book about the fae that I’d made Ascher buy me after the pamper day and snuggled into my bed to read.
Of course, just when I relaxed, there was a knock on the door.
I didn’t expect to find Aran standing there with a crazy smile on her face. She said she needed some girl time and I gladly let her in.
One could only be around men for so long before they went a little crazy. Life needed a female perspective.
“I can’t believe my mom is making you seduce a vampyre. Are you sure they said seduce? That just doesn’t sound right.” Aran flopped back onto my bed, her long turquoise hair streaming like silk around her breathtaking face.
However, from the way Aran grinned like a lunatic, she was more excited to talk about seduction than she was worried about my general well-being.
I jumped on the bed beside her and moaned, “I can’t believe at any moment they might announce it’s the day I’m going to get all the blood drained from my body by a terrifying vampyre. Also, why aren’t you panicking?”
Aran smiled like a maniac. “It’s fine. Alphas can lose all the blood in their body and still live as long as they aren’t decapitated. Your men won’t let that happen.”
I narrowed my eyes at her like she was talking out of her ass, which she was. “Do you see how small my neck is? How weak I am? The vampyre could probably snap his fingers and my head would fall off.”
“Wow, that’s not very female gladiator of you. Your fan base is gonna be pissed.” Aran gaped at me like I had said something outrageous.
I launched myself at her annoyingly gorgeous form and tried to punch her in the throat.
Of course, she easily blocked me and flipped me onto the floor without breaking a sweat.
My back cracked in ten different places as it crunched against the floor.
Aran might be a fae princess and not a shifter like I’d first thought, but this was still the bitch who’d karate chopped beta men and was freaky flexible.
She was not someone you wanted to mess with.
“Ow, my chest!” I yelled as I gasped on the hard floor.
“Oh my sun god, are you okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Aran’s blue eyes peered down at me with concern.
I punched her in the tit and scrambled away with an evil laugh.
She gave chase, and we tussled around the room for a while. Just two girlfriends hanging out without a care in the world.
Denial was a very effective coping mechanism.
Realistically, I had many cares, but the moon goddess was a bitch and not answering my prayers.
Finally, anxiety spiked in my gut, and I flopped back onto the bed instead of retaliating for the foot Aran had slammed into my kneecap.
“So, in all seriousness, do you have any ideas for how I seduce the most terrifying beast of all lore?” I asked with a heavy sigh and tried not to wallow in self-pity—it was difficult.
“Not exactly, but I had something made for you.” Aran dug a small gold band out of her dress pocket and handed it to me.
First, wow, a dress with pockets; that was revolutionary.
Second, I didn’t think of her that way, and didn’t know how to tell her I wasn’t ready for marriage.
“I have syphilis,” I blurted out and fell backward onto the bed like I was dead.
Truthfully, I didn’t know what the word meant, but I’d seen a commercial for it on the television once back at the bar, and it didn’t sound good.
Aran pursed her lips. “Okay, not relevant? Also, you should really go see a doctor. That’s not healthy.”
I nodded at the gravity of the situation. “So you understand why I can’t marry you?”
There was a long, tense moment where Aran’s heart broke into a million pieces, and I considered the merits of convulsing on the bed to sell the illness.
“Bitch, I don’t want to marry you? I like dick.” Aran stared at me like I was a dumbass. “And if you have syphilis, we really need to get you checked. Still not sanitary.”
I sighed and hugged her from sheer relief.
I wasn’t mentally prepared to lose my best friend because I refused to be her wife over an imaginary illness.
With a smile, I patted her on her pretty blue head. “I was joking about the syphilis. We’re all good.”
Aran narrowed her eyes like she couldn’t decide if I was joking or not.
She shook her head, like she decided it didn’t matter if I was riddled with exotic-sounding diseases, and pushed the ring into my hand. “It’s a fae-enchanted ring. I had it specially made for you as soon as I got back to the realm, and it just so happens it might help with this challenge.”
Now that I realized she was giving me a gold piece of jewelry, my brain oohed and cooed, Shiny, as I looked at the band.
No one had ever gifted me anything before, let alone something so fancy. Although, Ascher’s day of pampering had felt like a gift.
“Also, you’re an alpha. I’ve been studying up on the beast realm, and all I’ve heard is alphas forming packs. I’ve never read anything about marriage.”
It was my turn to look at her with confusion. “What’s a pack?”
She shrugged. “Beats me. I never learned about it in my princess studies.”
“You sound so privileged right now. It’s not even funny.” I laughed at her and tried not to worry about what a pack was.
What were we going to do, uncover the secrets of other realms? We were just two women, and one of us was so short she looked scrawny and weak, and the other was so pretty that she looked like a painting.
Not the realm-wide heroes anyone asked for or needed.
Aran shook her head. “Princess studies were more torture than learning. Would you like the fae queen to be your mother?”
“Touché.” I nodded.
I would rather have a rat as my mother than the fae queen.
Her energy was so toxic that someone needed to buy her a day at the nail salon; her chakras were bent at a forty-degree angle, and her cuticles were crusty.
It was not cute.
I admired my glossy nails.
Apparently, it had taken one day of pampering for me to become a self-centered, materialistic woman.
It was empowering, and I was enjoying my newfound self-confidence.
Who knew a color on your nails could be so life changing?
“Oh my sun god, just put the ring on already. I’m dying over here,” Aran moaned and motioned to the ring. She really was impatient.
“Fine, fine, cool your tits.” I slipped the ring on my finger and held my breath.
Nothing happened.
“Sorry, your ring’s a dud. How much did you pay for this?” I went to take it off.
“Look down at your chest,” Aran said quietly.
I stared underneath my sweatshirt. “Did you make my boobs bigger?”
The longer I stared at my chest, the more I was convinced my tits were looking plumper.
Either it was the ring or I’d recently gone through a second puberty. Maybe I was finally getting taller?
“You’re actually a dumbass!” Aran yelled and grabbed at the collar of my sweatshirt.
“No need to get so rough. Sun god, calm down.”
Her turquoise eyes burned with fire as she physically accosted me. Maybe she was hangry?
Aran yelled in my face, “You don’t have any scars anymore! The enchantment was for your scars!”
There was a long pause.
The silence stretched.
Then I burst into tears like a baby. Aran held me as I wailed and sobbed.
I knew I was repressing deep psychological trauma from Dick and not dealing with it but knowing it and experiencing it were two different things.
My chest, torso, and back were smooth golden skin, and my heart burst into a billion tiny sparkles of joy.
It was something I had wanted so badly that I’d been afraid to wish for it, or even think about it.
I sobbed and sobbed.
Aran petted my hair as I mumbled nonsense about the fae being the most kind, sweet, beautiful species in all the realms.
Tears tracked down my face like a waterfall as I whispered about enchantments being enchanting.
If this were a story, I would have been sad that my scars were gone because they’d been a piece of me and shown my struggle.
This was real life.
It was like when I was fifteen and had had a severe case of acne all year.
When my skin had finally cleared up, I’d danced around with joy and thanked the moon goddess every chance I got.
Sure, I lived with my scars and didn’t absolutely hate myself. Your skin didn’t define you.
The problem was, in the eyes of everyone else, my body was hideous and broken. I was tired of everyone else defining me.
Finally, after an embarrassingly long time of me blubbering and muttering nonsense, I sniffed and stopped strangling my friend.
What would the realm’s first female gladiator do? Aka, WWTRFFGD?
I composed myself and tried to focus on important things, like surviving to my twenty-first birthday.
“So do we think I can appease the vampyre by dancing sexy?” I asked Aran, since I had zero other ideas about how one went about seducing a terrifying creature of lore.
Was he even into women?
It would be just my luck that the queen chose a vampyre only into men, just so I could die painfully in front of the realm.
“That’s actually a good idea. Let me see what you got?” Aran motioned for me to dance in the small space.
I nodded and launched myself off the bed in a whirl.
For the next few moments, I lost myself to the sound of invisible music.
I pretended I was back at the Ianuarius celebration and let my body flow in rhythm to the beat of a heavy bass.
I spun, leaped, and embraced the freedom of expression. I danced like it would save my life.
For a moment, I was one with the music.
All my troubles melted away.
As I flowed, peace sparked in my heart.
Finally, chest heaving, I came to a stop in front of Aran.
I wiped sweat off my brow and smiled at her as my body still rocked slightly to the phantom beat.
Aran opened her pretty lips and closed them.
She was speechless.
Finally, after aggressively coughing, she said, “If you dance like that, you will one hundred percent, and I can’t emphasize this enough, be killed immediately by the vampyre.”
The bitch keeled with laughter and literally rolled on the floor. “That was the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life.”
She gasped for air and laughed harder. “Were you having a seizure? I was genuinely concerned at one point and almost stepped in to help you.”
“It was not that bad!” I stomped my foot and pouted.
Sure, I wasn’t the most flexible and had never had a dance lesson, but I thought I was at least okay.
I tapped my foot as Aran asphyxiated with laughter on the floor.
Finally, she crawled back to her feet and wiped tears from her eyes. “If you do—whatever the sun god you just did—the vampyre will murder you so brutally and painfully they will talk about it for years. Are you okay? I didn’t even know a person could voluntarily twitch like that.”
“Do you have any other ideas?” I asked with exasperation as I shook my head at my friend.
Although, I was glad she’d told me this before I’d gone out there and gotten slaughtered.
She giggled with more laughter. “What else were you planning on doing?”
“Dancing. That was literally the only thing I could think of.”
Unfortunately, I had spent the day being pampered by Ascher and hadn’t brainstormed too intensely.
“Well, if we don’t come up with something soon, you will die in T-minus six days.”
Once again, I was stressed, not blessed.
Although, I was no longer covered in horrible scars and had found out I was actually rich from fighting as an alpha, so the future was looking a tiny bit brighter than before.
Tiny bit being the key terminology.
