FLAGELLATION
Eccedentesiast (noun): someone who hides their pain behind a smile.
DAY 25, HOUR 22
“Pretend to kiss me,” Sadie shouted up at me as we swayed on the dance floor at Elite Academy. Her breath stank of demon brew, and she’d spent the last hour alternating between drunkenly laughing and sobbing.
Her outburst wasn’t surprising. Frankly, I’d be worried if she weren’t crying.
She kissed me sloppily on the cheek, and I grimaced.
Not because it was gross.
I grimaced because I couldn’t feel where her lips touched my skin because my face was numb from excessive substance abuse.
Students, and a noticeably smaller number of soldiers, crushed around us in our old bedroom as speakers boomed. A gothic beat strummed eerily through the air, and the floor vibrated beneath us.
Vibrant red light filtered through the windows and made everything glow scarlet.
Once again, I shivered because I’d always thought the light at Elite Academy was a much darker shade.
I had a bad feeling the color had always been this rich.
I knew my vision had changed when I was younger, but I never realized it was to this extent.
Why had it changed back? That was also the question.
So many questions.
Still, no answers.
We’d finished strategizing, and after another day had passed with nothing to do but sleep and lightly exercise, we’d started going insane.
We were having another party for morale.
The angels were expected to return soon. We had days until we fought the ungodly again. Maybe a week if we got lucky.
Mental health recovery was very important to me.
That was why I was doing drugs.
Jinx had said there was no logical reason to party, but she hadn’t slaughtered thousands of men and women as they screamed for mercy and then watched as monsters erupted from them. Her boots didn’t stick as she walked.
So, what did she know?
War did things to a person.
We needed this.
I swayed to the music, arms wrapped around Sadie’s shoulders, multiple cigarettes and pipes hanging from my lips as I drowned myself in smoke.
It curled around my face like a mask.
Sadie grabbed my shoulders and yanked me closer.
“Hear me out!” She stood on her tiptoes and yelled, but her words were barely audible over the booming music. “Let’s scrap the shower sex plan. Why don’t we just make your men jealous—right now?”
She pulled back, mouth upturned in a manic smile as she wiggled her eyebrows.
Her ruby eyes sparkled with excitement. Golden skin was flushed as she practically vibrated with energy.
Now that I could see the full color spectrum, I was awe struck by how gorgeous my best friend was.
She seized my face with her hands and pulled me lower to her level. “Please, just kiss me—and maybe hump me a little. It will be so worth it! I promise.”
The partygoers nearest to us looked over.
I flipped them off.
Stunning ruby eyes twinkled up at me.
Before I knew it, my platonic best friend—who was mated to three ferocious shifter men, and a creep named Cobra—buried her one hand in my curls, yanked my head down to her vertically challenged level, ripped the multiple pipes out of my lips, and slapped her hand over my mouth.
It took me a second to comprehend the nuance of what was occurring.
Sadie was making out with her own hand.
Over my mouth.
Aggressively.
I tried to pull away, because I wanted to pick up my pipes before someone stepped on them, but she yanked my curls. She tugged harder. Her ridiculous nails were tangled, and she couldn’t get them free.
I narrowed my eyes.
Hers were closed like she was in the middle of a passionate embrace. She opened her mouth wantonly and licked across her palm like she was licking a lollipop.
Music spun around us.
Bodies danced.
As Sadie fake kissed me harder, her hand tightened across my face and obstructed my nose.
I suffocated.
I tried to pull away, and she tugged on my hair again.
Her kiss was rough and—what was with all the hair pulling? She bit down violently on her own palm, and I jolted at her aggression, glad it wasn’t my lips.
I hated to say it, but we were not sexually compatible.
Her interest in Cobra was making a lot more sense.
I suffocated. I’d had enough. Sacrificing a chunk of my scalp, I yanked away from her and slapped her hand away.
She slapped me back and tried to plug my nose. Her talons barely missed my eyes and stabbed the sides of my nose.
I hadn’t realized her nails were hot pink. I’d thought they were a neutral color.
They were a look.
After five minutes of wrestling, I used my height and strength to pin both her arms behind her back.
“Calm down. Stop it,” I warned her as she struggled.
She giggled. “How was that?” She wiggled her eyebrows and beamed like she was proud of herself.
“Literally—horrible.” I grimaced. “What the hell was with the biting? Are you a wild animal? What possibly made you think that I would want to be bitten aggressively in a sexual situation?”
She looked at me with shock and said, “Wait—I thought everyone was into biting?”
I prayed to the sun god for mental strength.
This was what happened when you let your best friend mate with shifter men. I was an awful friend for getting kidnapped and leaving her alone in the beast realm.
I frowned. “Normal people don’t bite others. Not like that. You were really chomping. Be honest with me right now—are you doing that during sex?”
Her face turned bright red.
She mumbled, “Some people like it.”
“Why are you actually a cat?” I tried to sound scolding but ruined it by playing with her long white hair.
She smiled as I released her arms and pulled me close. “Why are you such a silly little angel goose?”
“I’m not a goose.” I shrugged sadly as we swayed back and forth. “I can’t fly.”
She smacked me. “I swear on my life, you hovered off the ground for a second.”
“Thank the sun god,” I drawled sarcastically. “Every girl dreams of hovering an inch over the ground. How exhilarating.”
She took the lead and spun me around.
The sweaty partygoers punching the air and gyrating their hips melted into nothingness as we spun together in the middle of it all.
Red eyes narrowed. “One of these days, you’re going to fly so freaking high, and I’m going to be watching, cheering you on and telling all the stupid grounders, that’s my best friend. She’s an angel, and you’re all wingless peasants.”
I laughed at how ridiculous she was.
Lately Sadie had started using the angel’s derogatory term for nonwinged folks, which was slightly concerning because she also didn’t have wings. The logic wasn’t there, but the sentiment was nice, so I was choosing to ignore it.
The loud music thumped faster and dancers fist-bumped the air.
We swayed slowly.
“I like your skirt,” I said.
She beamed. “I like yours too. You look perfect tonight.”
“You look perfecter.”
We were just two classy women wearing lace bralettes and tiny black miniskirts. Matching initialed crystal thongs stuck out the tops of our skirts and elevated our looks.
Her bralette was bubblegum pink and mine black.
We’d gotten ready together, and Sadie had covered her eyes in pink sparkles that made the red of her eyes look like blood. Pink lip gloss also complemented her gold skin.
She’d convinced me to wear makeup, so I’d agreed.
Feeling fun and flirty, I’d swiped black mascara across my eyelids and under my eyes, so it looked like I’d been punched in the face.
I called it—racoon eyes.
I thought lipstick might have been too much, so I’d left that off. I didn’t want to overwhelm everyone with my beauty.
When we’d stepped out of the bathroom, both our legions had been waiting for us—a long second passed as they took in our exposed thongs.
Cobra had hissed something, but Jax had pulled him away before we could try to translate it, and Malum had burst into flames and ordered me to change.
John had flashed his dimple and given me a fist bump. “I like the eyes.”
That was why he was still my favorite.
Now, as I swayed back and forth with my best friend, I smiled because I felt the black makeup drip down my cheeks like tears, which was exactly the look I was going for.
“I love you,” Sadie said with a rosy smile as she pulled me close.
My voice was hoarse from smoke inhalation as I replied, “I love you too.”
“Someday this is going to be all over. We’re going to go somewhere warm and sleep under the stars together. We’ll have picnics and frolic,” she whispered.
I nodded. “It sounds amazing.”
I didn’t point out that it sounded too good to be true.
The fae realm wanted to fight to the death for my crown, and the beast realm was a rainy, dreary place.
Such a picturesque place didn’t exist.
Not for us.
“We’ll find it,” she whispered like she could read my thoughts. “I promise.”
She wrapped her four-fingered hand behind the back of my neck and slowly pulled me closer. Then, with a roll of her hips, she placed her hand over my mouth and gently tugged me down to her level.
“How’s this?” she whispered as she gently made out with the hand covering my mouth.
“Better,” I mumbled as we pretended to make out, much softer this time.
Someone wolf whistled loudly, and a man yelled, “Holy sun god, isn’t that Aran making out with the shifter legion girl?”
I grimaced.
How hard was it to remember the name Sadie?
My best friend kissed me harder like she couldn’t help herself.
Personally, I thought she was acting crazy, but I just let it happen because we all had our breakdowns.
Seconds later, I was hugging empty air.
The crowd had parted around us.
“How fucking dare you touch our Revered?” Scorpius’s tone was deadly.
John and Luka had pulled Sadie away from me, Malum was on fire, Scorpius was trembling with rage, and Orion’s eyes were wide, pupils dilated as he stared at Sadie like he was fantasizing about hurting her.
Sadie was smiling like she’d won a war.
“You have one ssssecond to remove your handsssss from my mate before one of my ssssnakes bites you,” Cobra hissed as he sauntered forward.
John swore and leaped away from Sadie. A shadow snake darted across his skin.
Cobra flashed pointed canines. “One.”
“What’s going on here?” Jax asked calmly as he joined the growing group of testosterone-laden idiots. Xerxes flanked him with daggers drawn, and Ascher cracked his tattooed knuckles.
I sighed heavily because I wasn’t high enough for this.
“Does anyone have any demon brew?” I asked tiredly.
“Really?” Malum asked. The rug was on fire beneath him.
Luka nodded and handed me a bottle of demon brew. The twins settled in behind me, both tangling their fingers in my curls like they needed contact.
I relaxed back against them and chugged.
Intoxicants filled my bloodstream.
“What happened?” Jax repeated as the kings and the rest of his male mates bristled with aggression.
Sadie winked at me.
I chugged faster. Demon brew dribbled down my chin and mixed with the black makeup.
“I heard your mate,” Scorpius spat with disgust. “Making out with our Arabella.”
My stomach flipped over at the use of “our,” and pain streaked down my back. I tipped the bottle and took a long swig because I wasn’t intoxicated enough if I could still feel things.
The twins tugged on my curls like they were upset.
The song switched, and the new beat was more frenzied. The partygoers shrieked with excitement as they recognized it.
“Are you kidding me?” Cobra hissed out. “Of all the people in the realmssss, you wanted to kisssss her? What issss wrong with you?”
The anger exploded hot and fast. I slammed the bottle onto the ground, and it shattered. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I glared at Cobra. “She kisses you? Clearly her standards aren’t that high.”
Flames leaped higher on the carpet.
“You admit to kissing her?” Fire exploded from Malum’s mouth, and his silver eyes glinted with mania. “I can’t fucking do this.”
I shrugged. “Then don’t.” I took a step forward, but his arm shot out quicker than I could follow and slammed me back.
“There’s glass on the floor,” he said through gritted teeth. “You could get hurt.”
“I know, I put it there,” I drawled. “Stop trying to protect me.”
Silver became steel, and he growled, “Stop kissing this pathetic woman who is not your mate. We’ve forgiven you for the twins—but this is too far!”
“Since when have you forgiven me for the twins?” I asked.
“Everyone, calm down,” Scorpius snarled, sounding very uncalm himself.
He tried to step between us, but Malum breathed fire in his direction, and he stumbled back.
Ice crackled across my fingers, and the rug turned slippery beneath my feet. It expanded and extinguished some of the flames.
We glared at each other.
“We promised we wouldn’t be like this,” Orion whispered as he stared at me and grabbed Malum’s shoulder.
“I didn’t promise anything,” Malum said grouchily.
I tipped my head back and laughed. “I knew it—I knew you crawling and promising to be my hound was all a ruse. I knew the news story in the beast realm was just as fake as you—it’s all for show—you don’t mean any of it.”
I didn’t dare mention how he’d opened up about his past. It hurt too much to say.
Malum’s bronze skin darkened in the shadows of the party. A dagger glinted on his neck.
What had I honestly expected from a man who had “we conquered” tattooed on his skin?
White teeth contrasted with bronzed skin. “I meant every fucking word about serving you. I’ll fall to my knees a million times if it means you’ll forgive me.”
The music pounded between us.
With his eyes locked on mine, he suddenly slammed down to his knees. He was wearing only black training shorts from his workout earlier, and the rug was covered in broken glass.
Blood pooled beneath him.
I took a step back.
He smirked cruelly, like he still had the upper hand while impaling himself. “I will kneel on glass for you every day if that’s what you need to believe me. I’m serious about you, Arabella, but I will not stand by as you have a relationship with—that woman. She already took your virginity. She will not take you from me too.”
My jaw unhinged.
He picked up a piece of glass and slammed his palm down on it. “Is this what you want?”
“Stop it!” I begged.
“Do you want all of us to kneel?” Orion whispered as he and Scorpius moved like they were going to mimic Malum.
“Don’t!” Surprisingly, Luka also leaned forward like he was going to stop the quiet king from hurting himself.
I shook my head.
There was too much bloodshed.
Too much war.
Too much violence.
“Um,” Sadie said awkwardly as she rubbed the back of her neck. “I think we should be honest. Honestly, I thought it was like the funniest thing ever, but now it’s feeling a tiny bit concerning. Side note—aren’t you guys in group therapy? It doesn’t seem to be working.”
“How do you stand to be around this imbecile?” Scorpius asked with genuine confusion.
John mumbled, “Finally someone said it.”
“Hey, don’t call her that.” I rubbed tiredly at my eyes. My fingers came away coated in black.
Symbolic.
Malum eyed a jagged shard like he was thinking about using it.
“Don’t you dare,” I warned.
“It was fake!” Sadie blurted. “I was just making out with my hand, also—we faked it in the shower. We’ve never had sex.” She shrugged. “Honestly, the thought makes me feel a little queasy because Aran is my best friend and sometimes romantic relationships end and the thought of ruining what we have is horrible.”
I grimaced because my friend was a rambler when she was stressed.
“Excuse me?” Cobra hissed. “Romantic relationshipsssss with me do not end. Ever.”
Sadie pursed her lips and smiled at him like he wasn’t creepy.
Before I could point out how weird he was, John pulled my head to the side and grabbed my cheeks.
His dark eyes were imploring as he said, “Tell me it’s true. You’ve never had sex with her?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve never even kissed her. She’s my friend, nothing more.”
John smiled, dimples on display, and he patted my cheeks. “That’s my girl.”
I flushed.
He winked and released me.
“What a relief,” Malum said calmly as he got to his feet. His bronze legs were streaked in red, and shards glinted in his skin.
I pointed at him. “What is wrong with you? Why would you do that?”
Pink stained his cheeks, and he had the audacity to shrug like it was nothing.
“We’re going to the medical barracks. Now.” I grabbed Malum’s wrist. Our skin sizzled as ice melted against heat.
I shivered, but it wasn’t from the cold.
Pain exploded down my back.
John grunted as he grabbed my arm, and the rest of the men gathered around me as we RJE’d from the party.
I blinked, and we were back in the forest.
Malum burst into laughter and leaned forward to kiss my forehead.
I yanked away and stomped down the path to get a doctor.
Snow fell around us and the chilly air felt pleasant after the heat from the party.
“I like your outfit,” Malum called after me.
I shook my head and didn’t look back.
Men.
