Sara: Meet me in the laundry room.
Me: Why does that sound dirty?
Sara: Because I’m me. But seriously. I’m all by myself. This place is creepy.
Me: Be down in five.
Sara: Great. I’ll just sit on the dryer and wait.
Me: Sara.
Sara: What?
Me: You better not be naked when I walk in there.
Sara: Oh. Hmm. But all my clothes are wet.
Me: Crazy girl, if the guys walk in and see you, I can’t be held accountable for what I’ll do to them.
Sara: I put a sign up. The laundry room is closed for the next thirty minutes. Hurry Brooks. Don’t want me to get wrinkly.
Me: Why would you get wrinkly?
Sara: Because I’m wet!
Me: Get me out of here now.
Sara: Is there a problem, Brookie?
Me: You can’t jam a fucking plug in my ass while giving me a blow job and then expect me to sit through a press conference. Get me out of here.
Sara: Can we watch Christmas movies?
Me: Of course. When?
Sara: December
Me: When?
Sara: I said what I said.
Me: Just downloaded the Hallmark app. Think we’ll be set for December.
Sara: I love you.
Me: Chinese takeout and The Holiday lined up for tonight. You want me to pick up anything else on my way back to the hotel?
Sara: You’re my favorite person.
Me: Didn’t answer my question, crazy girl.
Me: But you’re my favorite person too.
Sara: My brother is here! Brooks! What did you do? My brother is here!
Me: Love you, crazy girl. I’ll be home to pick you all up soon. My brothers are excited for your family to join us for Christmas.
Sara: You are the best person in the world! Just so you know. I’m crying. And you are so getting lucky tonight.
Me: I’m lucky every night, Sar. Merry Christmas.
Sara: So hear me out. You, me, a bottle of bubbly, and a hot tub at midnight.
Me: You don’t want to go to the party? Rumor is that Lake will be there.
Sara: Honestly, I just want to be alone with you.
Me: Where do you want to go for Valentine’s day?
Sara: hmmm. I mean I love Italian.
Me: So Italy?
Sara: <smacks face emoji> Brooks Langfield, you are too rich for your own good. I meant an Italian restaurant. Although now that I’m thinking, I kind of want steak.
Me: Plane will be ready to take us to New York at six.
Sara: New York!
Me: Lennox is meeting us for dinner. You’re welcome.
Sara: Oh my God! You are literally the best.
