“GO! GO! GO!”
I screamed along with the rest of the team as Leo zoomed down the field, the ball tucked into his side as he weaved through the defenders aiming to take him down. He was an animal and ran for nearly forty yards before he was finally dragged to the ground.
The crowd roared, and my heart was in my throat as I looked up at the time on the clock and the score shining back at me.
We were down by four with only twenty seconds left, and not a single timeout.
I thought my dad was going to chew his fingers off as he watched Holden and the rest of our offense scramble back to the line. Leo hadn’t gotten out of bounds, so the clock was still running. As soon as they were lined up, the ball was snapped, and Holden spiked it down to the ground.
The whistle blew, the clock stopped, and now we had thirteen seconds.
“I can’t fucking breathe,” Riley said, her hands clasped on top of her head as she paced next to me.
I felt the same way, but I stayed quiet, focusing on Holden.
“Come on, come on,” I muttered under my breath.
He huddled up the offense, talking through the route he had on his forearm play holder. He clapped, and they all hustled back to the line.
We were up against what the nation saw as the best team — the Central Louisiana University Beavers. And although the crowd was split about fifty-fifty, it sounded as if the whole stadium was a CLU fan as they roared for defense to hold us.
The ball was snapped, and it had no sooner landed in Holden’s hands before he had it sailing toward the left corner of the end zone where Kyle was waiting. But it was tipped, and it bobbled precariously in the air, almost snagged by a safety before it mercifully flew out of bounds.
Six seconds left.
“Fuck,” Zeke cursed under his steepled fingers where he stood next to me.
Clay shouted from beside him, “Come on, boys! Let’s fucking go!”
My stomach turned violently as I watched Holden through the huddle. He had black smeared under his eyes, sweat dripping off his nose, his green eyes severe through the metal slats of his helmet. He called what would likely be our last play, and then they all clapped and got back on the line.
We were only a few yards from the touchdown. Everyone expected us to run it now. It just made sense. But when the ball was snapped, our receivers zigged and zagged and tried to get open in the end zone.
Holden retreated deep in the pocket, eyes scanning, right arm locked back and ready to throw.
No one was open.
Kyle was completely covered, two defensive players making it impossible for him to be a clear throw. Braden had tripped over his own feet and was trying to scramble up.
We were out of time.
The clock ticked down, and I saw Holden looking left and right, all the while watching where his offensive line was struggling to hold the beastly men desperate to sack him.
It was all over.
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but close my eyes and wait for the final whistle to blow. I couldn’t watch him get sacked, couldn’t watch his dream shatter in that fashion.
The crowd was already loud, but a second after my eyes closed, they turned deafening.
I creaked one eye open.
Just in time to see Holden find a hole.
My other eye popped open then, and I screamed, throwing my arms in the air and jumping up and down as he sprinted through the break in the defense on the far-left side of the field. The defenders caught on to his movement just a hair of a second too late, but one of them managed to wrap Holden up and sling him down to the ground with enough force to break bones.
Not that it mattered.
Because he was taken down in the end zone.
Touchdown.
I cried. Tears stung my eyes as I screamed and jumped with the rest of the team. They all poured onto the field, swallowing up our offensive players who were out there while the Beavers hung their heads in disbelief. Confetti rained down a second later, and Riley jumped out of Zeke’s arms and wrapped me in a crushing hug. We jumped up and down together, hair bouncing, both of us screaming loud enough to burst the other’s ear drums.
They’d done it.
They’d won.
We were going to the championship game.
Holden
It was absolute madness after the final whistle blew.
Confetti stuck to my sweaty face as I tore off my helmet just in time to be hoisted into the air. I threw my fists up in victory, chanting NBU! NBU! with the rest of my team as they paraded me around the field.
The second they dropped my feet to the ground, we were surrounded by reporters, all the while families poured onto the field, too. I answered questions as best I could through my excitement, though I was frequently interrupted by a teammate jumping on my back or scooping me up in their arms. We were chaotic, too ecstatic to even pretend to be professional for the cameras.
We were East Conference Champions.
And we had earned our chance to fight for the national championship title.
The trophy ceremony happened so fast it was a blur, each of us taking turns holding the shiny gold thing and kissing it like it was the love of our life as Coach Lee gave a little speech. When we were released, the reporters swarmed again.
I was doing my best to lean in and hear the questions a young male reporter from College Sports Network was screaming at me over the noise when I was yanked from behind. One hand on my shoulder whipped me around, and then I was crushed in a bear hug by my Uncle Kevin.
“You fucking did it!” he screamed, clapping me hard on the back. He released me only so Uncle Nathan could pull me in, too, and I felt the cameras all around us, knew they’d be showing this on TV and talking about my family’s backstory.
“Hell of a game!” Nathan yelled. They were both wearing my jersey number on handmade hoodies, their faces painted, a crumpled-up sign in Nathan’s hands that I was sure they held up the entire time.
Kevin turned me back toward him, framing my arms in his hands. He dropped his forehead to mine. “I’m damn proud of you, Holden. Damn proud.”
I brought him in for another crushing hug, mostly so I wouldn’t cry on national fucking television. Then, they released me and told me they’d see me back at the hotel.
We didn’t say a time because all three of us knew tonight would be a long one for me.
As soon as they were gone, I scanned the crowd for Julep.
She was the only person I wanted to see, and yet she was the only one I couldn’t find. I saw Coach as Clay and Zeke poured a giant container of ice-cold Gatorade over his head. I saw Leo making out with the cheerleader he’d been chasing after all season. I saw JB and the rest of the training staff, Coach Hoover and his family, even Kyle where he was holding up his phone — no doubt on Instagram Live.
But no Julep.
My heart sank, and I started shoving through the crowd, hoping I could find her in the locker room. Before I took two steps, Giana hooked me by the arm.
“I need you in the press room!”
“Okay, I just need to—”
“No, now!” She shook her head. “It’ll only be ten minutes max. Please, Holden. Wrangling these reporters is like herding cats, but they’ll go where the quarterback goes.”
Begrudgingly, I let her drag me off the field, and sure as shit, reporters followed us, allowing the rest of the team a bit of reprieve.
As soon as she had me set up a mic at the podium, Giana left — no doubt to go get the next players lined up and ready to answer questions. Her boss, Charlotte, watched me from the side of the stage. She listened to whoever was in her earpiece and then gave me the thumbs up to start taking questions.
It was an out-of-body experience.
I’d see a hand shoot up, and I’d point at it, signaling for whoever the reporter was to fire off their question.
“How does it feel to win your first playoff bowl game?”
“It feels amazing, but I knew this win was ours. This team has been focused all season long. We’re ready to take the championship.”
“At the end of the half, you were down by two touchdowns. How did you manage to rally the team and get them back in the game?”
“We never left it. CLU is tough, they’re one of the best in the nation — we all know that. They gave us hell out of the gate, and we expected it. The key was just coming back in the second half and giving them hell right back. And that’s what we did.”
“You’ve been battling an injury all season. Did it flare up at all in today’s game?”
“I’m feeling one hundred and ten percent thanks to our training staff. My shoulder is better than it’s ever been.”
Question after question pelted me, and after fifteen minutes or so, I was exhausted. That amount of time doing anything else would be nothing, but in this situation, it felt like an eternity.
I called on the next reporter, anxious for Giana to relieve me and send in the next player.
A woman in a bright orange blazer stood, a legal pad and pen in one hand as she yelled, “You’ve said in past interviews that your biggest goal is to win the championship and then be drafted into the NFL — which, at this point, I think we’re all sure will happen. So, what happens next? If you win the big game and you get called up to play pro, what’s next for Holden Moore?”
I opened my mouth to shoot back some generic answer, but before I could, a lifetime of possibility flashed before my eyes.
It was like her question had shocked me out of the present and into a future where everything I wanted came true.
I saw our team holding up the trophy, saw my uncles smiling when my name was called in the draft. I pictured signing on the dotted line, imagined what hat I’d slip on — maybe the Colts, staying on the East Coast, or maybe I’d go west with the Seahawks.
And through every step of my vision, there was Julep.
She was in my arms after the final whistle at the championship game, her legs wrapped around me as I kissed her, and confetti covered us both. She was holding my hand as we waited for the phone to ring on draft day. She was lugging boxes with me into our new place, kissing my sweaty cheek before pointing to where she wanted me to set up her pole.
And I realized in that moment, more than ever, that none of this mattered without her.
“I’m so sorry, I… excuse me.”
I didn’t say anything more before I darted off the small stage, Charlotte calling my name as I whizzed by her. I knew Giana would be upset, but I’d make it up to her later.
Multiple people tried to stop me as I weaved through the hallway. Players wanted to celebrate, staff wanted to congratulate me, and I didn’t miss the disappointment on a scout’s face when he tried to stop me, and I apologized before running right past.
I aimed for the locker room, and when I made it, I stopped, trying to catch my breath as I looked for her.
“What’s up, Cap?” Zeke asked.
“Have you seen Julep?”
He smirked, nodding toward the back where our training staff had set up camp.
I sprinted toward it, sliding through the door as my cleats tried and failed to find traction on the tile floor.
I came to a stop right in front of Coach Lee.
He frowned, catching me before I crashed right into him, but then I looked behind him and found Julep.
I reached back long enough to shut the door behind me, to make sure no one else on the team would butt in and ruin the only opportunity I had. I didn’t know how this was going to go, but I knew I didn’t want them hearing either way.
There was a window on the door with a shade above it. I pulled that down, and then it was just the three of us.
“Moore, what—”
“The deal is off.”
He frowned. “What in the hell are—”
I held up a finger as I struggled to catch my breath, sneaking a glance at where Julep stood behind him. She was folding up equipment and storing it in the giant duffle bags we brought with us, but right now, she was frozen, holding tight to a roll of sports tape and staring at me wide-eyed.
I turned my attention back to Coach, standing as tall as I could as I looked him right in the eye.
“Sir, I have thought about it for a month now. I have respected your wishes and I have left Julep alone.”
“And I—”
“No,” I said, cutting him off. “You didn’t let me speak last time, but this time, you will hear me out.”
His jaw was tight as he shut his mouth, and I knew it wouldn’t stay shut for long.
“I did as you asked. I have been nothing but focused on this team and this game. I have shown you in every way that I can that I am serious about football and about the responsibility you give me as quarterback and captain.” I paused. “But I can’t do this anymore.”
I looked at Julep, at how her knuckles where white where she gripped the tape. She shook her head slightly like she was silently begging me not to do whatever I was about to do.
But there was nothing that could stop me now.
“Sir, with all due respect,” I said, turning back to Coach. “Bench me.”
His head snapped back like those words had slapped him across the face.
“Sit me in the championship game if that’s what you want to do. Call every scout you know and tell them I’m washed up and that they shouldn’t draft me. Blackball me in every way that you possibly can.”
I swallowed, my body revolting at the remote possibility of all of that truly happening, at the fact that it probably would.
But my heart beat strong.
“You can hold true on all your threats,” I continued. “You can take everything else away from me. But you can’t take her.”
I looked at Julep, and her eyes glossed over, the tape falling from her hands and rolling on the ground toward one of the tables.
“I love your daughter, Coach Lee,” I said, though my eyes didn’t leave her. “I love her, and I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks about it. My heart used to belong to football, but now it belongs to her. And none of this,” I added, throwing my hands up. “None of it means a damn thing without her.”
Coach swallowed, his brows furrowed as he watched me with his hands curling into fists at his sides. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then a soft voice chimed behind him.
“You love me?”
My head snapped in her direction, and Julep stood there with her eyes glossed and hands trembling.
I rushed to her in the next breath, taking those shaking hands in mine and holding them steady. I curled my own hands around them, pulled them to my chest, and held her close.
“With every hopelessly optimistic beat of my heart.”
Something between a laugh and a sob broke through her, and she rolled her lips together, shaking her head.
“I will be here,” I said, tugging her hands to my chest again. “Every day. I’ll be right by your side reminding you that you matter, that you are needed, that there is a reason to have hope and a reason to live. I’ll be here reminding you that for me? You are that reason.”
She closed her eyes, freeing a silent tear that raced down to her chin before falling to the floor.
I still held her hand as I rotated, lacing my fingers with hers and turning back to her father.
“You can bench me if that’s what you feel you need to do, but I love this girl,” I said, squeezing her hand. “And I’m not backing down.”
Coach glared at me, then at where I held his daughter’s hand. “Even if it costs you everything?”
I stood taller. “Even then.”
Julep shook her head, stepping between me and her father. “You can’t do this,” she told me, sniffing. “You can’t throw everything away just because—”
I slid my hands up her arms to frame her face, holding her gaze steady with my own. “I have never seen more clearly than I do in this moment, Julep Lee. And I meant what I said. I am not walking away from you. I never could.”
She nodded, a sob breaking free as I pulled her into me and wrapped her in my arms. I hugged her tight as she cried, and in that moment, I truly didn’t care what happened next. Because I had her, and she had me, and everything else was second to that one, life-centering truth.
I held her for a long while before she finally pulled back, wiping her face before she turned toward her father. They were in a silent standoff.
Coach Lee looked at his daughter, then at me, and back again. He seemed to be fighting a million wars in his head as every emotion played out on his face.
After a moment, he sighed.
“I was wrong.”
I blinked, sure I’d misheard him, but he heaved another deep breath and sank down into one of the chairs against the wall.
“Something you won’t understand until you’re a father, Holden, is that when you’re trying to be a good dad, you will do anything to protect your baby girl.” He paused, looking at Julep. “Even if it hurts her in the process.”
Julep leaned into my side, more silent tears soaking the cuff of my jersey.
“I thought I knew what was best for her. And in many ways, I think I did. I knew moving her away from home would give her a fresh start. I knew if she could sober up and remember who she was before…”
He swallowed, shaking his head.
“I knew my little girl was still in there, under the scarred tissue that her sister’s death left behind. And when I started to see her coming back to life, I felt even more protective. I was ready to fight anyone who threatened that peace she’d worked so hard to get back.”
He looked at me then.
“But I was wrong to fight you, Holden. And for that, I’m sorry.”
He held my gaze for a long moment before he stood, rubbing his palms down the front of his pants as he did.
“I’m still not happy that both of you went against my orders,” he continued. “But… I can see now that you must really care about each other. You showed me that this past month, because even though it must have hurt you both, you did what I asked of you. Julep, you’ve been straight as an arrow. And Holden… we wouldn’t be standing here on the other side of this win without you. I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect it. I expected you to fight me, to try to sneak behind my back. I had a firm plan in place with Russo just waiting for the moment.” He scrubbed his jaw. “You gained my respect when you proved me wrong. And even more so moments ago when you brought joy back to my daughter’s face that I didn’t know could even exist anymore.”
Something in him broke a little with that, and he turned away briefly, sucking in a breath before he shook his head and faced us again. He took a few steps in our direction, pointing a finger at my chest.
“But if you even think about hurting her, I will murder you and go to jail for life. Don’t make me do that to my wife, you understand me?”
I bit back a smile. “So… you’re not going to bench me?”
He looked at Julep, then at me. “Not yet, anyway.”
“I’ll take it,” I said.
He nodded, almost grinning, and then extended his hand for mine. “One shot, Moore. That’s all you get. Ruin it, and I’ll ruin you.”
“Dad,” Julep chastised with a roll of her eyes, but I reached for his hand and shook it firmly.
“One shot is all I’ll need.”
When he dropped my hand, Coach nodded to both of us before excusing himself. And then it was just me and Julep.
I swept her into my arms and kissed her without hesitation.
It was like breathing life back into a corpse, like every ounce of pain I had felt in the last month evaporated in that very moment. I felt it leaving my body like an exorcism, and the way Julep clung to me, her arms around my neck, eyes squeezed shut — I knew she was being washed clean, too.
“You stupid, stupid boy,” she whispered against my lips, crying as she did. “You could have lost it all.”
“I’d choose losing it all over losing you for a lifetime.”
She shoved me, but then pulled me back in for a kiss. “I don’t know if I want to kill you for giving me a heart attack with that speech, or tear your clothes off and show you how much I loved it.”
“I like the second option.”
She laughed against my lips, and then let me tuck her head under my chin as I hugged her and held her close, both of us sighing contently.
“Me, too, you know,” she said softly.
“You, too, what?”
She peeked up at me. “I love you.”
“Well, obviously.”
She poked me hard between the ribs, making me double over before I tickled her and pulled her squirming all the way back to me.
“Say it again,” I murmured along the skin behind her ear before I kissed the very spot my breath touched.
“I love you, you idiot.”
I laughed.
And then I framed her face and kissed her to show her I felt the same.
